How's Your Vision?

“A College Admittance Application”

How’s Your Vision?

Most of what it takes to complete a college application on-line is time.  The time I’ve spent doing it has been time well spent; since it’s been with my daughter.  The other day she pulled out her computer and we sat down to answer a few questions together.

The questions we were answering were easy and we breezed along until we hit one question in particular. “What will you have accomplished within the next five years?”

“Why do they always ask such stupid questions?” my daughter asked.

My thoughts went back to interviews I’ve seen with small children.  Most of them don’t hesitate with an answer to a similar question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their answers flow freely and confidently; a cowboy, a teacher, astronaut, doctor, firefighter, lawyer.

“I don’t have any idea!”

“Yes you do.” I replied.  “You’ve told me over and over again.  Would you like me to tell you what you told me?”

“Yes.”

I spent a few minutes listing the things she had told me in the past.  They were exciting and challenging things.  They were the things she has been spending the last few years working toward.

“I haven’t thought about those things for a long time!”  She said.

We spent the next few minutes writing, thinking about and crafting the vision of her future to complete her application.  It was a good exercise for us to go through.  We talked about the fact that this vision was the basis for her success in college and for her life as well.  It caused me to think about my own life and experience.

We were sitting in our house.  It is the house this girl has lived in virtually her whole life.  We have a photo of her standing in this same house, the winter it was under construction, in her snow suit with bare feet.  She has a huge grin on her face and when I look at the photo today I can still feel her exuberance.

“Had I not created a plan for this house, thought about it, worked to build it, would we be sitting in it right now?  The chances would be too small to even comprehend.  So is the future of my life any different?”

I’ve noticed that as I get older, my eyes don’t quite work as well as they used to.  Now I wish that was the only part of my vision that has been deteriorating!  Good thing I just finished a vision correction session with my daughter!

I’m going to spend some time making application for my future over the next couple of weeks.  It will take some time to create a plan, think it through and work to build it.  I’m sure it will turn out to be as comfortable and customized as the house I live in is. 

The truth is that we all live in our custom lives.  Is your life the way you want it to be, or do you need to begin a new set of plans?

 

The Gentile Voice of Love

“You need to come up here!” (In an angry voice)

- The man with the little white dog

The Gentle Voice of Love

I sat in a small apartment with two men, one woman and a small white dog.  We were getting acquainted with each other and expressing pleasantries when the small dog jumped down to the floor and came over to sniff the trousers that covered my legs.  She could smell my dog so she stayed for a minute lingering in the in the aroma that filled her senses.

As she remained, her owner became anxious so I told him it was just fine, but I watched as his eyes expressed increasing displeasure.  He called to her.  She didn’t respond as he wished.  I watched the fire in his eyes grow!

In one violent eruption the sitting man stomped his foot hard on the floor and angrily yelled, “YOU COME UP HERE NOW!”

I felt my body respond to this outburst as it involuntarily pushed against the back of the couch in shock and dismay.  I watched the gentile little dog put her tail between her two back legs and jump up to her designated spot when threatened. Her little spirit was crushed.

Then, as quickly as the outburst began, I heard new sweet tones from the once contorted face: “I love you!”

“I love you?” I thought to myself.  Is that what love is?  Is love expressed through threats and angry lashing out?  Does one only love another when the other conforms exactly as commanded?

I watched as a large hand stroked the fir of the little one next to his lap.  Her eyes were filled with fear and anticipation, wondering how long this kindness would last.

“What a sad way to live” I thought.  Then I reflected on my own relationships.  How would an independent observer describe my interactions with others?  Would they express my actions as the gentle voice of love?  When others look at me, do they see kindness, consideration, and caring?  I hope so!

The greatest compliment one being can give another is to choose to love, and be with them.  It is the richest tribute to love and freedom I can think of.  When you extend your love to others freely, you’ll find that the sweetness of freedom will furnish fulfillment in ways you never anticipated.  When you allow others to give you their love, in their own way and of their own choice, your relationships will be filled with trust, caring and increased depth. 

The depth of your offered love will be reflected in your life immediately; you will enjoy additional freedom and a joy beyond description. Perhaps it seems too simple, but it’s not.  Allow the gentile voice of love to change your life today.

Doritos and Sweet Tarts

Doorstep Dogs

Doritos and Sweet Tarts

They were all together on a big long front porch.  By they, I mean two little girls and one black, brown, tan and white dog.  I didn’t know where the dog came from, but I knew the girls.  They were my girls; and the dog?

It was clear that the dog was a stray.  She had matted fur and looked a little worse for wear.  We didn’t have a dog and never had.  At that time we only lived with one grumpy cat.  I knew he wouldn’t like to have a dog around and I didn’t need one more animal to take care of.  So I made one simple pronouncement to the girls.

“Don’t feed the dog!”

But, the dog didn’t leave and moved from the front porch to the back deck.  It was only about three days later when a dog’s food bowl magically appeared on the back deck and I knew the battle was over.  The dog had won and I had lost!

It wasn’t until a few years had gone by when the girls finally admitted that the dog, “Freckles,” had been prompted to stay as a result of their gifts of Doritos and Sweet Tarts.  They wanted the dog, felt sorry for her and had offered her the best food they could think of!  That was the first pure bred doorstep dog that came to live with us.

The next one came a few years later.  My wife was out walking Freckles when they happened upon another mostly black dog lying in the ditch just up the road from our house.  She was thin and didn’t look well.  But, she was strong enough to follow them home.  When they arrived, I said, “Don’t feed the dog.  One is enough!”

The next day brought a new collar, leash and bowl.  Once again the pure bread doorstep dog had won.  We were now a family of people with one cat and two dogs.  But, things change with time.

After eighteen years our cat had lived out his life.  The next year Freckles also gave up the ghost.  Their pictures still grace our family photo wall and they are dearly missed.

A few weeks ago our last dog “Cricket” was running happily in the yard and came up lame.  We thought it was a simple sprain or a small wound on her pad.  When it didn’t heal my wife took her to the doctor to see what the problem was.  It turned out to be a torn ACL.  She needed surgery to restore the use of her leg.

The cost estimate was large, but the decision to spend the money was easy.  After all, she is more than just a pure bred doorstep dog.  She’s part of the family and you can’t put a monetary value on that!  And, as I have been thinking about Cricket, Freckles and Simba “Binx,” my mind went back to one thing my Uncle Jerry had taught me long ago.

I went to visit Uncle Jerry and he had a new dog at his farm.  I asked him where he got the dog.  He said, “I went to the animal shelter.”

Said I, “How did you choose the right dog?”

“I just bring the dog who knows me home!”

It’s a lesson I’ve always remembered.  Spend your life with those who want to be with you and you’ll never go wrong.  We love them because they loved us first!

Chrisanne's Open House

An open house at C.G. Sparks

Chrisanne’s Open House

Sometimes I can be in a large crowd and feel utterly alone; strange how that can happen.  But that wasn’t the case during a gathering I attended not long ago.  My friend Chrisanne invited me to her store’s open house and I eagerly put it on my calendar.

When the day arrived I was excited to attend.  Yet, as the day wore on and became more complicated it was beginning to feel as if I would not be able to attend.  My final meeting of the day dragged on and on.  I felt like a kid trying to sleep on Christmas Eve! The specter of the open house was dancing in my head and I could visualize myself talking with my friends and family while walking in the midst of the beautiful offerings in Chrisanne’s store.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was an old Range Rover on the other side of the tree-height roll-up glass door.  It looked as if it was right off the set of an “Indiana Jones” movie.  Its rusted cargo bed was piled high with wooded boxes and furniture.

“That’s one of the best displays I’ve ever seen!” I thought to myself as I walked through the man-door and entered the large space.  A large warehouse-type building filled with people, food, antique furniture, music and the sounds of laughter.  It was good to be there!

Members of my family were also there and it didn’t take long to find them by winding my way around the throng as if I were one of the pythons from the jungles near the cities of India where Chrisanne personally selects her fine offerings.  Once united, we spent the rest of the evening acting like tourists in search of discovery as we talked and viewed the amazing sights.

New sights were all around us and just before we left I pulled my daughter close to me and whispered in her ear, “Look at how different all of these people are.  Isn’t it wonderful to be here to enjoy each other’s company?”

I smiled thinking, “I’m sure everyone is looking at me and saying, ‘look at that guy he doesn’t look anything like the people I usually associate with!’”

But there we all were; all having fun, all with people we loved, all friends & customers of Chrisanne! 

When we’re not remembering we’re Chrisanne’s Customers, we all spend our lives struggling to differentiate ourselves from those around us.  We work hard at being different.  We seek “our own.”  We associate with people sharing our beliefs and talk about how everyone should think and act as we do.  We try to be divided.

“Sad,” I thought as I left.  I would be a better person.  I’d be learning more.  I’d be discovering more.  I’d be more, if I would only spend at least as much of my time working to appreciate the differences of those around me as I do trying to separate myself from them.  So, I made the personal commitment to spend more time with “those people.”

After all, Chrisanne has shown us we’re all part of the human family and even though one third of all the ice cream eaten in the world is vanilla there are other wonderful flavors.  What would life be like without them?

The Limits of Possible

“The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.” – Arthur Clarke

The Limits of Possible

Have you ever had one of those weeks?  There is a kind of week, day or year that all of us have in common.  It s a time when there is too much to do, or there’s a time when everything happening is just too difficult to deal with.  When that happens it is so tempting to simply give up; to quit, while saying, I just can’t do it!  It was in the midst of one of those weeks when I had to good fortune to be reading a work by Arthur C. Clarke.

Mr. Clarke wrote, “The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”

These words immediately changed my point of view and reminded me that we are who we are, perhaps, more as a result of the challenges we’ve overcome than any other factor in life.  When I look back at my own life I’m able to see a clear path of choices that led me on trails that were a directly attributable to my trials.  Interesting how that works!  In that respect, our lives are a lot like that of a photon in quantum mechanics.

“As a photon makes its way through an arrangement of glass panes and mirrors, its path remains ambiguous.  It essentially takes every possible path available to it.  This ambiguity remains until observation by a conscious observer forces the particle to decide which path it had taken.  Then the uncertainty is resolved – retroactively – and it is as if the selected path had been taken all along.” Ray Kurzweil wrote in “The Age of Spiritual Machines.”

Like these quantum particles, we have choices to make in our lives.  And, sometimes the true nature of our path can only be seen in retrospect.  Knowing this gives each one of us the opportunity to stop, from time to time, and review just what it was that got us here; to this point, right now.  If you will make this a regular practice some encouraging things will begin to unfold before your eyes.

First, you’ll be able to see the growth you’ve made over time.  It’s impossible to do if you all you can see are the challenges in front of you.  So, make a regular appointment with yourself to retrace your steps over a period of time.

Second, notice that even though you have faced many trials, you’ve gotten through each one!  Only then will you have the evidence you need to see that you have the ability to conquer current obstacles as well as those that are coming to you.

Third, realize that your future is not set in stone.  When you make conscious decisions you will begin to force your world to resolve its uncertainty where your future is concerned.  It will indeed be as if the whole universe has acknowledged that this was the path you’ve been on all along.

Your future is just a choice.  So, look at your past, notice where you are in the present, and make sure you make conscious decisions that will allow you to see what your limits of possible are!

Giving From and to the Heart

“Now I know my life has been a complete success.”

-Joy’s Mother

Giving From and to the Heart

“Are you on the phone?”  Joy sheepishly asked as she poked her head through my door.

“No. Come in.”  I replied.

I watched with enchantment as my friend Joy took her characteristically short strides toward where I was sitting.  Her eyes were dancing with light as they twinkled.  Her eyes always twinkle when she talks.  It’s one of the delightful benefits of being in conversation with her.

“Can I tell you what we did for my mother’s birthday?”  Joy asked circumspectly.

“Of course you can!” I said with great anticipation.

So, she began to tell me how she had been caring for her aged mother and was concerned about how sad she had been for the past few months.  “Her birthday was coming up and I wanted to do something that would make her feel better.  I thought and thought about what I could do for her and finally I came up with an idea.” She explained.

I was enthralled with her story knowing that if there was ever a person with a pure heart, it was Joy.  She was describing her priceless process of taking the time to give a true gift; a gift from the heart, to heal the heart of another.

“I asked my siblings and their children to write a letter to my mother.  Then I took the fifty-seven letters and had them bound into a book with photos of each of the participants.  We had a big party.  Everyone was there!”

She continued, “When my mother began to read her book she teared up immediately.   Later that night one of my children saw Grandma’s bedroom light on and heard her crying.  She knocked on the door to make sure she was alright.”

“Was she alright?”  I thought to myself with eagerness.

“Grandma stayed up all night reading her book from cover to cover.  When I talked with her the next day she said, ‘Now I know that my life has been a complete success!’” Joy said in a halting, heart-felt voice.

I could feel my own heart pushing out of my chest up into my throat.  The holiday season was starting in less than a week and I knew the importance of the lesson Joy was teaching me.  It’s a lesson I never want to forget; a true gift is something that can only be transferred directly from one heart to another.  It is freely giving of yourself to enhance the happiness and well being of another.  Its effect will continue long after the giving and will change the life of both giver and receiver.  It has be ability to change many lives.

Joy’s gift has changed my life.  I hope it has changed yours.  May our acts of giving provide pleasure and show gratitude in the way of Joy!

Pursuing Artful Persuasion

“This isn’t happening the way I thought it would!”

-      Ron Hein

Pursuing Artful Persuasion

I had been working toward a solution for my Clients the entire day.  In fact, I had spent all of my time on the telephone and in email collecting information to make sure that the best possible outcome would be reached for the people I was representing.  Still, when I walked into a meeting with them at the end of the day I knew I would need to use all of my best persuasive skills to make sure they could see and embrace the path I had hacked out of that day’s enveloping wilderness so they could realize success.

I started the meeting by giving them the “bad” news and then immediately presented the “good” news so they could see that everything was not lost; that they would be successful in gaining exactly what they wanted in a time frame that mirrored the path they were on before its course had been overgrown with snares.  I felt that I had done a good job of showing them their success outcome until I heard these words from one of three Clients sitting at the table:

“This isn’t happening the way I thought it would!”

As the words penetrated my ears, my eyes went into action and I began to scan the three faces in front of me more intently.  One face was peaceful and comfortable. One face was unsure and questioning.  One face was defiant and angry.  My message was truly heard by only one of the three!

I reflected on this as I struggled to change my message of success to them.  I changed the words I used and the way I gave them the information.  I spoke.  I observed.  I changed the way I presented the facts based on what response I was seeing.  Finally after more than one hour had passed I was able to see all three of the faces in full agreement and happy.  This was the result I had been working toward and I relaxed greatly knowing it had been achieved.

When I meeting was successfully completed my heart was still troubled.  It was troubled because I had not been as successful as I had hoped in delivering a positive message.  All I wanted was an ending that was positive; the best outcome I could get for these important people.  I knew I could have done a better job.  I vowed to do better in the future.

In making that vow to myself I had to reset one basic principle in my mind.  One person cannot make another person do anything and have a good result!  I have reflected on this fact again and again, knowing that all successful relationships must be based on this principle of individual freedom.  Knowing this has led me to acknowledge that you and I must improve our powers of persuasion if we are to help others around us live happy, fulfilling lives.

If you want to test this one basic principle just walk up to anyone and ask them what they want out of life and they’ll more than likely say something such as, “I just want to live my life the way I want and be happy.”  Isn’t that what you want?

It’s what I want, so here’s what I learned from my meeting with the three Clients this week.  First, saying the same words to different people does not get the same result.  Second, it takes more than just saying words or hearing words to become an effective persuader.  Third, it’s important to be able to give the same information in multiple ways in order to be as powerful as you can be.  Finally, allowing people to live fully in their personal freedom allows them to have the most happiness they can achieve.

To be truly free in your own life requires you to allow others to live with the same kind of freedom.  It takes practice, observation and a heartfelt belief in freedom to truly benefit from its blessings.  I hope you’ll join me in working to persuade everyone to live the important principle of freedom so we can all live our lives they way we want and to be as happy as possible.

 

 

A Generous Irishman

“I want to buy this for a friend of mine.  She has a 7 year old daughter and they need a place to live.”

-      Dominic Larkin

A Generous Irishman

When my phone rang about noon I had no idea what kind of generosity I was going to witness.  I told the caller that I would meet with him to walk through the home he was calling about in an hour and a half.   I gathered my things and made my way down to my car so I could drive the distance and arrive with plenty of time to spare.

When I pulled up to the house, the caller was already waiting in front.  He stood just less than six feet tall, had longer graying hair and was wearing a sort of safari hat with a chin string hanging down from its sides and looping down toward his Adam’s apple.  He was driving a large pickup truck and was smiling as he greeted me.

When I heard his voice it took me a minute to have the words he was speaking register in my brain.  He was from Ireland and his English was slightly different from what I was used to hearing.  Still, a momentary lag was all I needed to become fully present with this intriguing stranger.  I invited him into the house.

He became an active inspector was soon as he walked through the door.  He asked me question after question as he demonstrated his genuine interest.  He was thorough.  And, when he was mentally satisfied he became more affable and began to open a window into his purpose.

“I want to buy this for a friend of mine.  She has a 7-year-old daughter and they need a place to live.”  He explained.  “She was married and her husband left her alone with their daughter.  He just abandoned them and hasn’t given any support at all.  They don’t deserve to live on the street.”

“I need to make sure I can get them into a place and still have enough money to fix it up so it will be a nice home for them.” He continued.

I stood looking at him through new eyes.  The old ones I was looking through were not prepared to see a plain old Irishman turn into an angel in broad daylight.  I also had to put a mental pace-maker into my heart.  It was starting to beat way too fast; you know, the way your heart pounds when it gets an emotional rush.  After making these two adjustments I just gawked while listening to the rest of his tale.

“My friend also has another friend who is homeless.  This place would have enough room for everyone.  Yes.  This will make a nice home for them.”  He said contentedly with his Irish accent.

“Room for everyone. . .”  I pondered.  “I think we’ll need a lot more people like my Irish Angel if we’re going to make room for everyone!  Yes.  Room for everyone; perhaps if we work together and show our generosity it can happen!

Making Something Good of Yourself

“Didn’t you know that the most important thing you can do is to show up every day.”

-John Barlow

Making Something Good of Yourself

Have you ever had one of those weeks when it seems as if you’ve worked much harder than normal and yet it appears as if nothing good has come from it?  I have.  Yet, this week the exact opposite happened to me and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it.  I can’t remember a time when so many loose ends seemed to be coming together after long struggle.

During my time of reflection, I remembered a conversation I had with my friend John Barlow a few years ago.  We were talking about creating success through work when he said, “Didn’t you know that the most important thing you can do is to show up every day?”

His comment caught me off guard.  It was something I knew, but at the same time I also knew, and still know, that showing up isn’t the only thing that creates success.  It must be used in combination with a good solid plan and self discipline to complete each step of the plan.  Still, showing up is a critical part of the success equation and it’s what I want to talk with you about today.

As I raised my daughters they would come to me and ask me if I liked a particular person after just meeting them.  My reply would always be the same, “I don’t know.  Time will tell.”  I would say that because I have discovered that it takes a great deal of time to be able to judge a person’s true character; especially my own.

Each one of us has times of smooth sailing through life and then we also have times of difficulty.  It is what we do during times of difficulty that reveals our true character.  I have known people that have crumbled when challenged and I have known people who have withstood their challenges and have become much stronger.  In many cases it is as if there are times when the world says, “You say you are honest, true, good, strong and successful.  Let’s see if you really are!”

When that occurs, I have observed that those who have risen to meet the challenge do so not knowing exactly what the outcome will be and when they have given their last ounce of strength, but still continue to persist, the tide turns and things mysteriously begin to turn their way again.  When that happens it doesn’t take them long to get back on their feet and feel renewed strength and confidence.

That’s what I want you to know.  My personal experience is that as I have worked on projects or goals for many years and have felt that there was no hope of success, but have kept going and making adjustments along my way, believing that if I just kept striving and changing internally that I would succeed in the long run.  Many times my success did not come in the form of my expectation.  It had morphed into something better than I had hoped.  In fact, I had changed in ways I could never have dreamed of.

That’s how I know that persistence creates character.  It’s a message we need to pass to all those around us.  If we will simply persist in changing inside so we can meet our challenges and overcome them, we will succeed.  Only then we will be the kind of people others want to spend their lives with.  We will have demonstrated our true character and we will be able to say, “I have made something good of myself.”

Doing the Right Stuff

“It’s important to take the time to see what people really need rather than just taking them some brownies.” -  Elayne Pearson

Doing the Right Stuff

Elayne and I were standing near a huge barbeque grill after a long night of cooking and serving food to our neighbors.  We served about 450 hamburgers and hot dogs to hundreds of men, women and children; many of whom were dressed in colorful costumes.

But, one costume was black and exceptionally tall; we estimated that this Grim Reaper was standing about nine feet tall!  It hovered and walked.  It talked and entertained.  The children ran under its tree branch arms as if they were dancing under a deciduous tree in the cool October evening.  And, as our night came to a close we still had not discovered the identity of this disguised character.

As Elayne was talking with me, I thought of how much this unidentified Grim Reaper was the perfect example of what she was describing.  Our annual October Neighborhood Gathering is designed to get all of us together so we can reconnect and look each other in the eyes without the impediments of windows and electronic devices.  It allows us to get to know each other better; to find out what’s happening in the lives of those we share our town with.

Many times we live with and around people for years without really getting to know and understand anything about them.  Their identity remains a mystery.  As we talked about what more we could do strengthen our community Elayne said, “It’s important to take the time to see what people really need rather than just giving them some brownies.”  

There are people living around us who are struggling to care for their children, who are jobless, and have debilitating illness.  If we don’t know who they are and what they’re facing they live alone.  If they live alone then they aren’t living as part of our community.  To make them part of our community we need to embrace them and as we embrace them, something magical happens to all of us.

The magic appears to us in the form of the disappearance of perceived separation between individuals.  It creates compassion; a sense of well being that swells in our hearts.  Heartfelt gratitude then grows, from the fulfilling friendships we enjoy, and we become part of something larger than ourselves.  We become a real community that wants to be more giving, kind and more willing to be forgiving and loving.  When that happens it is much easier to do more of the right stuff.

Doing the right stuff is something each one of us can do.  It doesn’t take a lot of money.  It is simply accomplished by opening our eyes and taking small steps to open our hearts.  Open hearts allow us to work together to solve the pressing problems our friends and communities are facing.  Now is the time for us to mobilize as individuals.  Now is the time to reach out.  None of us need permission to go out and do good; to do the right stuff.  So, let’s go out and give of ourselves today.

The 3% Solution

“You know how to do it!”

-      Dr. David Remington

The 3% Solution

I could visualize what my friend Dave was describing to me. “I have two huge stacks of text books by the side of my bed.  They’re the most current ones I can find.  I devour them every night!”  You’d never guess that a person closing in on sixty would be talking to me about text books with such passion; especially since he is not a professor or a teacher at a school.  He’s an orthodontist and dentist.

We were talking in his office and I asked him how he was always on the cutting edge of his profession.   He has amazed me with his use of the newest technologies and techniques.

“When the economy began to crash in 2007 I knew I had to make changes in my practice to survive.” He said.  “I took all my savings and reinvested them into my business.  I took courses from the best in the field and purchased new equipment so I could give my patients the best care possible.”

My eyes began to wander around the room as we talked.  I saw pictures of him with other doctors in different circumstances.  I asked him about the photos I saw.  “How did you get to be friends and collogues with such an august group of doctors?”

“You know how to do it,” he replied.  “I do research about training opportunities from the leaders in my field and then I contact them and take their courses.  Most of them are at least one week in length.”

“How can you afford to take the time off to do that?” I asked. 

“I can’t afford not to!” He answered.  “When I started down this road it took me a great deal of time to sort through all of the sales materials and get to understand who the best people and the real experts are.  Then I found out that the courses they offered were real hard to get in to.  They sold out fast!”

“Then I noticed that the people at the top of my field all know each other and they hang out together.  I had to demonstrate that I was one of them.  Once I did that it became easy.  It’s made me excited about my profession again and I love to learn more and more about it.  It means a lot to me to be able to help my patients in ways that very few others are able to!”

I looked seriously at him and asked, “So, you’re telling me that the best investment you’ve ever made is in yourself?”

“Yes!” He said.  “I’m busier than ever before during a time when lots of people in my field are struggling to survive.  Anyone can do what I’ve done in whatever field they work in.”

I listened carefully to what he was telling me.  I knew you’d want to know this important information so I’m sharing it with you.  Dave has shown me that what matters most in professional life is continual investment in yourself so you can be stay on the cutting edge.  Find out who the best in your field are and learn from them.  Make sure you surround yourself with this group of top producing people so you will be continually inspired by their vision and work.  Finally, give your knowledge and expertise to your clients freely so they’ll be able to benefit from your skills and competency. 

You’ve heard the 80-20 rule, but in my profession it’s now a 97-3 rule.  3% of the people make 97% of all the money!   If you follow these steps as revealed by Dave you’ll get the same type of strong business he enjoys!  You’ll be part of that 3% and have an inspiring professional life!  I know you can do it!  Start today.

A high school football game.

Two Missed Kicks

There were bright lights acting as the sun above that were making it possible to play a football game at night.  It was as close to a perfect temperature as it could possibly be.  The competition was also close to perfect.  It was the first and second place teams, in the high school region, playing each other.  One team was playing to keep their position as first.  The second team was playing to create a tie for first place.

The stands were filled by the time I arrived.  The West side was filled with people wearing the red of their school colors.  The East side was filled with people wearing the blue of their school colors.  I was sitting on the East side.  Noise was rising up all around me and it was echoed right back from the other side.  It got louder as the game progressed and came to a climax during the last three minutes of the contest.

The leading team had a slight, one point edge and was on defense as the clocked clicked down to 2:59.  As the time remaining declined, so did the yardage to a possible score.  People were screaming everywhere.  They were urging their team to victory.  And then, with only eight or so seconds left in the game, the red team’s field goal kicker began to jog onto the field.

The ball was hiked to the holder.  The kicker struck the ball with his foot.  The crowd on the West cheered wildly believing that the kick would be good.  Then, suddenly the crowd on the East erupted in untamed glee as they watched the referee signal that the kick was missed.  But, there was a penalty flag flying through the air and everyone watched as it hit the turf!

We watched the referee pick up the ball and begin to march, his death march from my perspective, fifteen yards closer to the goal.  The players lined up again.  One side hoped for a three or six point outcome and the other side hoped for the score to remain the same.  But, there were two lives that would be forever changed.

The Kick rose from the turf upon impact from the kicker.  All of the fans held their breath.  The players stood as statues with their gaze fixed on the ball and the goal.  The ball passed the goal, but didn’t yield any points.  The people around me were thrilled and relieved.  Their team was victorious!

While merry clamor was occurring all around me my attention and eyes were riveted to one boy still standing on the field.  I watched as his head lowered toward the ground and he walked alone toward his team huddled together at the side lines.  My heart went out to him because I knew he would face personal turmoil as a result of his failure to secure victory for his fellows.  He had no chance to redeem himself, the game was over.

The stands began to empty.  The parking lot was filled with lights heading toward home.  I stayed and watched.

The boy sat on his helmet with his head in his hands at the South end of the field.  He was alone in his grief.  At least that’s what I thought.

I began to walk the long distance toward him hoping to ease his torment.  But I wasn’t fast enough to reach him before two police officers left their posts and soon stood at his side.  They were speaking to him in kind, reassuring tones.  I couldn’t hear their words but I could see their smiles.  I could see the boy’s head lift in response.  I could see his countenance lighten with gratitude.   I don’t know if the officers knew the boy.  That didn’t matter.  The thing that mattered was that when they saw someone in need, they stepped up and offered a hand of relief.

There are people in need of relief all around us.  Sometimes they are alone in the middle of a packed stadium.  Sometimes they are shut up in their homes.  In order to see them we need only to open our eyes and see through the people or the walls that separate them from us.  Everyone matters and what we do to help each other matters. 

Reach out to someone today.  It will change both of your lives.

Seeing Life's Best at Your Worst

“I can see the blessings I keep receiving.”

Scott Bodell

Seeing Life’s Best at Your Worst

My friend Scott has a horrible neural disease.  He was describing it for me one time and I could hardly believe my ears as he spoke of “lightning strikes” across his brain and how it incapacitated him when they were storming through his head.  He has good days and bad days.  Unfortunately his bad days are becoming more numerous as the months march on.

I know this is the case, so sometimes when I’m driving past his house I feel the need to just stop in to see him and find out what I can do to help.  As we sit and visit I always learn a lot about weighty subjects such as charity, courage and gratitude.  This week was no exception as I sat on his couch across from him.

As soon as I sat down one of his little dogs jumped up into my lap and asked to be petted.  When she does so I like to pretend I don’t know what she wants.  When I do, she sits up on her haunches, tilts her head back and then lets it fall to my chest; it is a clear demonstration of her desire.  She’s like all of us.  She just wants to be recognized, be happy and feel good.

As I stroked her head, Scott and I talked about some of his current trials.  We talked in great detail about the current events in his life.  As we talked, I soon watched Scott sit up a little straighter and lift his head a little higher.  His eyes began to sparkle.  His mouth stopped moving for a moment and then he said, “You know, when I look carefully at everything that has been happening I can see the blessings I keep receiving!  Even when I’m having real difficult trials I’m still blessed!”

He finished talking and I saw him drop his head to rest it on the back to his chair.  For that moment he knew that he wasn’t alone in the universe.  He could see that he was being recognized.  He was happy and felt good.

I was feeling good as well.  Scott showed me that even during the stormiest periods of life good things still happen.  We just need to look for the good and accept it with gratitude.  When good comes during a personal tempest it is all the sweeter because we recognize it as the treasure it truly is.  The mark of good character, proven over time, is if you can see the best life has been giving you when you’re at your worst.

What's on Your Drawing Board?

“Oh, it will happen!”

- Danny Marz

What’s on Your Drawing Board?

I was standing in a large room, filled with people.  I didn’t know most of them.  There were only a handful of these successful people I knew.  But, that’s why I was there!  I wanted to rub shoulders with as many of them as I could.  I wanted to listen to the way they thought; learn about their experiences and absorb knowledge about the way they do things.  So, I didn’t stand longer than it took me to get my bearings and begin to move toward a corner of the room where three of my friends were waiting for me.

As I walked toward their table my eyes were scanning the room for one particular person.  He was this year’s non-profit company entrepreneur of the year.  Ernst and Young had given him the award in the early months of this year and I had promised to introduce another friend of mine to him.  I saw him and made a mental note of where he was standing so I could return.  And, it wasn’t long before I reached my three other friends and greeted them.

I was excited to grab Danny’s hand and shake it when I got to his table.  It was then I said, “Walk with me so I can introduce you.”

He knew exactly who I was speaking of and his excitement grew as we approached the location of my mentally marked friend.  Our timing was perfect.  He was alone and I made the introduction.

Danny said, “May I call you?  I have a dream I want to reach and I’d like to pick your brain to see if you could help me avoid some pit-falls.”

He replied with, “Sure, I’d love to help you.  Lynn can give you my phone number.  I really hope you can make what you described happen.”

“Oh, it will happen!  It’s on my drawing board and once things are there they happen for sure!”

I stood in wonder at his words.  It was as if I heard them over and over again in my mind and I thought, “Danny has discovered an important principle!  It isn’t enough just to dream of a great future, one must conceive it, plan it out in great detail and then go out and take the steps necessary to complete the dream!”  I felt honored to be there and participate in completing one more step in the creation of his dream.

The human mind lives to make its dreams a reality.  Yours is no different!  You have everything you need to make your dreams a reality so put them on your drawing board and live your dreams.  In the end I hope you can say in amazement, “What do you do when you real life exceeds your wildest dreams!”

 

 

Doubt Not and Believe in Yourself

Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself.

- Allen James

Doubt Not and Believe in Yourself

The world we live in can be filled with tragedy.  I was reminded of this over this entire week as my family dealt with the death of a loved one.  This particular tragedy was not unexpected.  We all knew it was coming and we did everything we could to plan for an easing of the way.  Still, even with all of our preparation, the finality of death takes its measure.

In a particularly difficult moment, I sat talking with my daughter Annie about personal power and what it means to possess power as we reasoned about the feeling of loss we shared.  I put my arm around her and felt her tear stained cheek against mine.  It was a time when all possible feelings of power seemed to be lost in the mist of emotional fog accompanying a terrible storm.  In fact, this moment took me back to a time when I was very young, on a day when the winds were howling from the mountains to the East. 

The wind hurled down the canyons with speeds toping seventy miles per hour.  I could feel the power of the wind and it made me feel alive and strong inside.  I wanted to incorporate that power into my being.  So, I unzipped my coat and leaving my arms in the sleeves reached down to the right and left corners of the fabric and hoisted it above my head as if it were a sail.  As soon as I did so, the wind seized its opportunity to answer my foolishness by making me nothing more than a piece of flying debris.  But I wasn’t only debris.  I learned two important lessons from this youthful storm experience.

First, I was more than just another piece of mindless debris.  I quickly saw my folly and released the sail so I could lie safely on the ground.  I was able to use my mind to regain control of my actions regardless of what was happening in a turbulent world.  What happens in the world outside of me does not need to control what happens within my inner world.

Second, my individual actions make an impact on what happens in the world outside of me.  External circumstances do not remove personal power.  Being human means having power; specifically, the power to accomplish whatever we want.  We only lose personal power by choosing to relinquish it.

I know you will face storms throughout your life.  I have.  But, one of the blessings of age is that experience has shown me that if I will use my mind and heart to control my own actions I will be able to impact the results I achieve.  Circumstances haven’t made me who I am or who I’ll become.  They simply reveal character.  You have the power to determine what kind of life you’ll live, how you’ll live it, and how you’ll react to the storms that swirl around you.  Doubt not, believe in yourself, and use your heart and mind to accomplish whatever you want.

 

Rockin' Good

9/11 Charity Golf Tournament and Concert

Rockin’ Good

Once in a while I run into to someone who redefines what “possible” means.  When I do meet such a person I’m forced me reevaluate my own beliefs.  My mind is stretched and my personal reality is shifted in a profound way.  Such people create a sort of emotional or spiritual sense of certainty as to what is possible.   And, when they change my perspective they not only alter my experience, they can also change the world in an exponential way.  I saw this process culminate first hand this week as my friend Danny Marz executed the first annual 9/11Charity Golf Tournament and Concert.

I watched Danny plan and work to put this event together over the past few months.  He said, “I want to do something to benefit our soldiers who have been wounded while protecting our freedom.”

He developed a relationship with Operating Rebound so he would have a vehicle to provide the help he wanted to give and then he began to reach out to others to help.  He personally went door to door contacting businesses seeking sponsors.  He called music and sports celebrities asking them to come so they would be an additional draw to attendance.  He hired and scheduled the venue.  He selected a headline band to come and play.  Then he backed up the venue with three different warm up bands.  He recruited volunteers to help manage the event on September 11^th.   Finally, he partnered with a major radio station to market this important charitable event.

When I arrived to volunteer I was amazed to see the number of volunteers I knew.  It was wonderful to see the celebrities who were there to give.  It was heartwarming to see the crowds of people who were there to give money and their time to such a worthy cause.

Danny made sure that his cause was leveraged by more than 1000 as a result of his vision.  Participants were emotionally and spiritually engaged and the world was changed immeasurably.  I know my life was and everyone I talked with is excited to work together again next year.

I saw Danny again today.  We’re going to participate in an additional charitable event hosted by another friend of ours this week.  Until I began to associate with such good and giving people I had no idea that so much good could be accomplished.   I thought I understood the description of a mathematical entity that involves the transcendental number raised to an exponent, the concept of becoming greater in size, until I saw what adding numbers of good people simultaneously could accomplish.

I have learned that good people combining their desire and action to do good things will cause greater good to be accomplished.  The people around us will combine with us to benefit charitable causes if we simply ask.  Ask them to help you fulfill your dreams of giving and you’ll have a new sense of certainty that great things are coming.  My friend Ed said, “Doing good as a group has changed the whole feeling and dynamic of my son’s neighborhood.  Without having the opportunity to serve neighbors, the truly great things about living in a neighborhood would have remained undiscovered.”

Discover the truly great things about living in your neighborhood and community; be rockin’ good.

Courage with a Smile

“I hurt so bad inside.”

Courage with a Smile

I was on my way to a meeting with a friend and I called her in preparation for the conference that was to occur in just three hours.  As soon as I heard the tone of her voice I knew something was wrong.  At first I was worried there was something wrong with our transaction, but in another second I could tell it was a personal challenge bothering her.

She was having a lot of changes in her life and there was no doubt she was receiving more than her fair share right now.  I asked her what was wrong.  She hesitated; then burst with an audible gasp.  You know the kind I’m talking about.  It’s like the rupture of an emotional dam bursting.

“I just found out that my husband, the one I’m in the middle of a divorce with, has been cheating on me over the last year!  I hurt so bad inside!”

The thing that was so amazing to me was that I had already had two face to face meetings with her earlier in the week and there was no hint of her internal pain.  I also knew that one of the principal people in her office had just been transferred and that she was overwhelmed with her increased work load.  But still, there was no hint of her internal turmoil.  All I could see was the smile on her face and a cheerful glow in her eyes.

Our meeting that afternoon went without a hitch, except for the unruly children running around the office jumping on computers and desks!  Through it all, my friend’s smile never left her face and our clients would have never guessed she was in such pain.  I sat in admiration of her courage, but I was to find another surprise the very next day.

Our meeting the next day didn’t start until late in the afternoon.  It was Friday and the end of a long hard week.  If ever there was a time when I could have seen my friend’s smile crack this would have been the perfect time.  But it didn’t happen.  In fact, her smile was brighter than ever.  She laughed and talked with our clients in a way to suggest that she didn’t have a care in the world.  For the duration of the meeting our clients were the center of her universe and she was the sun throughout our time together.

When the meeting ended our clients left the building.  I stayed for a minute with my friend to finish up a couple of minor details and asked her a careful question.

“How are you?”  It was more than a question of the surface.  It was a cautious inquiry meant to let her know that I was fully aware of her situation and truly cared.  I talked slowly and paused long enough to let her gather her thoughts so she could give me a composed answer.

“Things are hard today.” She said.  “But, all this will be over in a few days and I’ll be happy again!”

“Happy again?”  I thought to myself. 

She smiled as she spoke.  Her eyes were shining as bright as the sun outside!  I’ve seen courage before.  I’ve seen happiness before.  But I have never seen the two in combination before.  This was a new experience for me.  It’s an example I want to emulate in my own life.

We all have challenges.  I know I do.  Now I can see that I can face them with a smile.  I know I won’t change completely over night, but I’ve had an exemplar to show me the way.  Just knowing that it’s possible has opened up a whole new way of life for me.  I hope it has opened a new possibility for you as well.

Living in Spacce

“I just have so much to do I just don’t have any time to do what I really want to do.”

- Kilee Johnson
Living in Space

Kilee lives a very busy life.  She works full time, owns a home, is married, has a couple of pets, grows a large vegetable garden and loves to quilt.  It seems as if she is always working on a project.  In fact, she is the closest thing to a perpetual motion generator I’ve ever seen.  I see her fairly regularly; she’s also my daughter.  When I talked with her last, she was gasping for breath because she was also doing me a favor and it took her longer than she had anticipated.

“I just have so much going on!” She said as we talked on the phone.  “I don’t have time to do what I really want to do.”

“That’s because you always fill your schedule with projects to do.” I replied.  “You know, you don’t have to do everything you’re doing?”

As I listened to her reply I realized that Kilee suffers from a mistaken belief that emptiness is the same thing as nothingness.  For some reason our society has come to think that, “we are what we do” and “we are nothing else.”  This means that for millions of us, space does not exist.

But, nothing could be farther from the truth.  I go out into the night and look up in the sky and I can see space filled with stars.  I stand on my deck looking out to the South and see that there is space between my neighbor’s house and mine.  I look around me and see that there is space between my body and the body of others.  I look inside my home and see that there is an empty, space, room where Kilee used to live.  All these things have allowed me to realize that without space we would have no options.  There would be no new possibility.

Emptiness is everything – all possibilities of existence and nonexistence occurring simultaneously!  It is our nature to live in emptiness.  We have just forgotten that plain and simple fact.  So, I said something important to Kilee.

“You need to create space in your life; you don’t need to do everything you’re doing.  Don’t fill your life to the point where there is nothing else that can fit.  If you continue to live without emptiness, the possibilities you have seen in your dreams cannot come into your life.  There won’t be room for them!”

The words left my mouth to my own ears!  “I need to live in space myself!  In fact, I think I’m going to start by dusting off my space suit.  I haven’t seen it for a long time and I’ve been missing the wonders of the universe as a result!”

Do you know where your space suit is?