The Player That Can't Lose

“I remember losing at tic-tac-toe.  When I lost one game I decided to study the game so I would always win or draw.” – Dan Arnold

The Player That Can’t Lose

Most people don’t view life as a game.  But my friend Dan Arnold, who has successfully run a financial services company for more than twenty years, has used the simple game of Tic-Tac-Toe as his life approach model for most of his life.  He explained it to me one day as we sat talking in between flights.

“I remember losing at Tic-Tac-Toe!”  He said. “When I lost one game I decided to study the game so I would always win or draw.”

Dan then explained to me. “In doing so, I learned much more than how to just win a modest game.  I learned that if I was going to have a successful life, I needed to approach it in the same way.  I needed to know I would win in advance!”

I knew Dan was right, but I wanted to confirm his philosophy through one of my technical sources, Stephen Ostermiller, a computer programmer and game designer.  And, he was able to break it down into much more detail.

Stephen says, “If you know what you are doing, you can’t lose at Tic-Tac-Toe. If your opponent knows what they are doing, you can’t win at Tic-Tac-Toe. The game is a zero sum game. If both players are playing with an optimal strategy, every game will end in a tie.”

Stephen continued, “Surprisingly few people know optimal Tic-Tac-Toe strategy. Yes there are some people (and computers) that you will never beat, but they are relatively rare. Knowing this, you can become a Tic-Tac-Toe master.”

And, yes Dan can be identified as one of the relatively rare people who have become a Tic-Tac-Toe Master.  But, more importantly he has given you and me the key to mastering our own lives!  I call it “Tic-Tac-Toe Living.”

Here’s how Stephen breaks down the four kinds of players: 

1.     The Novice player makes random moves.

2.     The Intermediate player will block their opponent from winning.

3.     The Experienced player knows that playing in certain first squares will lose the game.

4.     The Expert player will never lose.

Stephen adds, “Pitting these players against each other, you can see that in all cases, the better player wins more.”  He has even completed a statistical analysis to show how each type of player performs against the other types.  I won’t make you go through all that.  But, he confirmed that Dan’s Tic-Tac-Toe Living philosophy is a real winner!  So, you and I can decide what kind of life player we want to be.

We can be the kind of person who makes random moves, a person who just reacts to or guesses at what life throws at them.  Or, we can spend our time simply positioning ourselves against those we see in life as our opponents.  Perhaps at this point in life you and I will be the person who has discovered enough about ourselves to know certain first squares to avoid?  But, Tic-Tac-Toe Living opens the way for us to do more!

You and I can spend the time necessary to discover what my friend Cliff Hurst calls our “Purpose Economy.”  That is what we are best at and love to do.  Then, we can take deliberate and perfect incremental steps so we’ll be assured of our success in advance.

Our success in following the Tic-Tac-Toe Living formula can be quantified, as Stephen has demonstrated.  So, nothing can hold you back!  No one can possibly know the rules of your personal life game better than you do.  Become an expert in your purpose, purposefully so you’ll be the player that can’t lose!

Daniel's Four P's

“Most people just keep doing what they don’t like to do to support themselves financially without taking the time to understand the four key elements of happiness and success.” - Daniel Pandza

Daniel’s Four P’s

My friend Daniel took the time to eat breakfast with me a couple of Saturdays ago.  He is the personification of tall, dark and handsome.  He’s also a teacher at heart and has spent the past few years developing his theory of the “Four P’s.” He was kind enough to spend a time teaching me about them so I could pass his realizations on to you.

“Most people just keep doing what they don’t like to do to support themselves financially without taking the time to understand the four key elements of happiness and success.”  Daniel said to me.  His search for purpose led him to completely dissect differing business and innovation models so he could understand them down to their foundational terms.  But, what impresses me most is the way he simplified his conclusions down to a personal level so he could incorporate them into his own life.

Think of the Four Ps (Passion, Possibilities, Purpose and Prosperity) as foursquare game.  A person living in the lowest, furthest to the left square is living day to day just working to make money for survival.  Such a person may be unhappy or a little happy, but they know there is more, they’re searching for a better more joyous life.  Daniel says of such a situation, “ When a person is living this way they are not easily able to discover their passion.  They can’t see possibilities to pursue their true purpose and as a result, they will never reach prosperity.”

As Daniel talked, I was visualizing myself sitting in a large grass play yard.  The grass was dark green, perfectly cut and my position in the first square was outlined with chalk marks, just like those on a baseball or football field.  If I stood upright in this first square I could see that I could move about, but external forces could also easily buffet me.

Daniel got me to understood that getting one knee in my passion square, one knee in my purpose square, one hand in my possibilities square and one hand in my prosperity square would give me critical strength and stability.  It would allow me to remain on track and move forward with clarity and balance.

“When I was able to feel this stability I soon found that I could shed my life of things I didn’t want.  Such distractions weren’t helping me to get what I wanted.  And, I began to make enough money that I was financially comfortable.  I was able to pass on things I didn’t really want; at one time I thought they were good, but deep inside knew they were never a perfect fit for me.  Now I am fully focused on my passion and purpose.”

Being anxiously engaged in personal passion and purpose naturally reveals new possibilities.  These new possibilities open the gate onto the path of prosperity.  In the end Daniel asked me an important question that I’m asking you now.  “If you were to cut back your work time, so you could use your heart and mind to focus on your passion and purpose, who could you become?”

Playing it Safe

“Sometimes we try to make people too safe.”

-Dayna Hurst

Playing it Safe

My friend Dayna Hurst provides eldercare, planning and implementation consulting for underfunded Catholic Religious Communities throughout the United States.  She has wonderful stories to tell about how many of those she has served have accepted change into their lives at a time when most would believe that change is impossible.  I enjoyed one such story last night while eating dinner with Dayna and her husband Cliff.

Dayna has made amazing progress related to improving the quality of life for the elderly, especially for those in care facilities.  One of her successful initiatives involves taking the elderly out on over night trips so they can be rejuvenated through play and a change of scenery.   On one occasion she called the son of a client who was ninety-nine years old to ask if his mother could participate in a short trip.

“We called and asked her son if we could take his mother on an outing and he gave us an emphatic no.  He said, ‘She isn’t well enough to go on an overnight trip.’  But we didn’t give up and he finally agreed to let us take her out for the day.”

Dayna went on to tell me the rest of the story and the lesson I learned was so valuable I wanted to share it with you.

“This ninety-nine year old woman’s daughter came to our chosen destination to make sure that her mother was safe and sound.  When she saw her mother playing basketball she broke into tears!  She said, ‘My mother played basketball in high school and I never thought I would ever see her play!’  When their mother has passed, they created a special fund to help pay for such activities!”

I sat memorized as Dayna talked and when she ended this revealing story she said, “Sometimes we try to make people too safe.”

Perhaps it’s just me, but I felt a whole lot of encouragement knowing that a woman who was ninety-nine years old still had the spunk to go out and unusually do the usual.  It made me wonder and think about the usual things I no longer do just because of the personal labels I’ve placed on myself.  Dayna’s remarkable story set my mind in motion with wonder and possibility.

Perhaps you and I should encourage each other to do the unusual and celebrate when it happens.  Doing what we love is possible no matter our age.  Being unusual in doing the usual will allow us to simply play and no longer follow the dismal path of playing it safe! 

The False Idea

“I didn’t think anyone would have thought of that!”

- Andrew Jakus

The False Idea

My friend and client Andrew is a successful entrepreneur.  He operates several businesses and specializes in retail outlets.  He’s real good at getting a business up and profitable within a short period of time.  I’m helping him open a new location now.

We just selected the building for his new location and we’re finalizing some details in preparation for opening.  As we were doing so, not long ago, he was talking with me about an idea he had for the opening.  And, as he explained it to me a persistent tickle started in the back of my mind.

I just couldn’t shake the feeling that his was not a unique idea.  I thought and thought and then as I was driving on my way to another appointment, I happened to cruise past a building that caused me to recall what my mind was searching for.  So, when I had a minute, I picked up my phone and called Andrew to tell him that I remembered another business was doing exactly what he had described to me.

“I didn’t thing anyone would have thought of that!” he said.

His statement caused me to solidify a simple, yet critical, part of life and business as it brought to my memory an experience with another friend more than fifteen years ago.  It’s so important that I wanted to share it with you.

My friend has the last name of Wilde.  She thought she was going to be able to change the world and called me because she knew my business was venture capital.  She asked if she could come to talk with me when she was in town.  Of course I was happy to meet with her.

When she came in to discuss her business, she started out immediately with her selected name, “Wilde Ideas.”  Then she described in detail about how great she was at coming up with ideas.  Her enthusiasm was contagious, but I knew she would fail and I told her so.  I don’t think I have ever seen a sadder face in my life.  I had crushed her.  But, I did it in a kind way to protect her because letting her continue would have be much more devastating.

She, unlike my friend Andrew, started with the “false idea.”  It is the mistaken belief that an idea is everything.  It is all you need to be successful.

Don’t get me wrong.  Ideas are very important and ideas can and will continue to change the world.  They just don’t change it in the way that many people think they do.  In order for an idea to change the world it must rely on stakeholder momentum and operational expertise.

I say momentum because an idea stuck inside of a person’s mind will never leave it.  So, it must have a means of leaving the mind to get out into the world so it can be communicated and shared. But, once shared, it must be transformed from an idea into reality.

That transformation can only occur through a person, or a group of people, that can create and implement its physical counter part.  This is what separates a dreamer from the doer!  Doers change our world.

You and I can change our own circumstance and the world as well.  We just can’t start with the “false idea.”  Know that your good ideas are only a seed and that you’re the only one who can create the momentum to extract your best ideas, from within your mind, and then implement your plan to transform them into reality.

Calm Ends the Storm

“The right people always show up just when you need them to.” – Shawn Holste

Calm Ends the Strom

At first I thought it was one of those regular monsoonal summer storms.  You know the kind we get here in the high desert?  I always expect them to roll through in July.  They’re usually a welcome sight as the afternoon begins to gray and there’s a little bit of cooling to usher in the damp relief to follow.  All of that, and more, happened on this particular day.

What didn’t happen was a normal monsoonal rain.  This was a full-blown storm of hurricane strength.  I could tell it was different, almost from the beginning.  The roof on my house began to creak and my windows bowed.  When I looked out, my trees were whipping like a kitchen-aide blender in the process of puffing out a meringue topping.

But, I didn’t begin to see the real topping left by the storm until the next day.  One of my trees had its largest branch snap.  I stood not far off and saw its once green leaves withered and drooping on the fence to the side.  It needed to be fixed, so I got my tree saw out, cut its last attached fibers and took it to my woodpile for further trimming.  It was just the kind of thing I expected from such a strong winded tempest.

What I didn’t expect was a call regarding a home I had just sold.  The storm was more than just wind.  It brought lots of rain and some how, the driven rain had pushed its way through the roof and into the garage.  When I arrived it was one of the strangest sights I had ever seen.

The roof was in tact and all looked well.  But, when we looked inside of the garage we could see the clear signs of trailing water; water where it shouldn’t ever be.  I called people I know who help me with such things and we looked at it together.  We couldn’t figure it out or duplicate it!  Then I remembered Shawn, a builder I had just met and how I had been impressed with his knowledge and expertise so I gave him a call.  He had come highly recommended to me from a trusted friend.

I gave Shawn a call and he came over to look at the problem.  He worked on it for a few days and then called me with the solution!  It was a solution that ended more than a mystery.  It also ended the storm.  Its dark clouds had finally passed.

When I passed my gratitude on to Shawn by saying I was so grateful to have his help and that I had met him at just the right time he replied, “The right people always show up just when you need them to.”

He certainly showed up at the right time to help me.  And, he also reminded me that we are all givers and receivers.  We can all show up for others just in time.  When we do, we do so as the calm that ends the storm.