“When we gave them food they said, ‘what do we owe you,’ When we told them, not a thing, they were surprised and said, ‘really?’” – Medina’s Tri Tip

Tamales

The two owners of Medina’s Tri Tip Company stood at the front of the room. I didn’t know who they were, or why they were attending our meeting. There was a medium sized table just to their left side. It would have seated six people with two on each side, punctuated by another two, on at each end.  But, that wasn’t the reason for the table in the front.

Even when I saw the extra-large cooler sitting on top of the table I didn’t know why the Medinas were standing, waiting. Being curious I let my eyes scan the rest of the table. That’s when I noticed black plastic carry bags and some white carry-out containers sitting next to the cooler. It was all starting to come together in my mind because I took a moment to look to my left and then scan the rest of the room.

The audience was seated at round table dotted with a scattering of paper plates. And, on these plates were partially and currently being eaten tamales.

“In 2020,” one of the owners of Medina’s Tri Tip Company said, “we began to notice that people we knew were really struggling. Many people we knew were no longer able to work. Their businesses had been shut down.”

She went on to tell us of the one day, when someone they knew well, had come into their restaurant to talk. They looked hungry; very hungry.

“When we gave them food they said, ‘what do we owe you,’ When we told them, not a thing, they were surprised and said, ‘really?’” She said.

That was the moment the Medinas came up with a plan to help their beleaguered neighbors. Yes, they would still give food to their friends and their families. But, they knew they could do more.

“We talked to teachers in our local school and asked them to let us know of children who didn’t have food,” She said. “We began to make tamales in our home to give them good, and much needed food to eat.”

The next part of their plan came about when they received the Christmas list of a child from one of their teacher partners.

“The list contained a couple of small toys,” She explained. “But, what really hit us in the heart was the word ‘food’ right at the top.”

That was the beginning of “Tamales For Toys.” 

“Our whole family began spending evenings pressing Tamales and we put out a flyer saying ‘We will be selling tamales on a preorder basis so we can raise money to provide food and toys to our neighbors in need,” the Medinas said with a smile, as they told us about the start of their project.

Now, in their third year of this project, they’ve been joined by many more school teachers as well as their city’s fire department. Others have been donating the ingredients for the tamale construction.

“Our city fire fighters make a special delivery of hot tamales and other Christmas gifts to each household we share with.” They said before Mr. Medina walked over to the large cooler sitting on that table in the front of the room. “If you would like to help please come up and purchase some tamales.”

And, we did. The round meeting tables were soon standing empty, encircled by fittingly empty chairs. There was now a line to purchase tamales at that front table. I was near the end of that long, snaking line.

By the time I got to the cooler to purchase tamales, they were gone. Luckily, the opportunity was not gone, as I was able to pre-order tamales for another delivery date. The two owners of Medina’s Tri Tip Company were still standing with me at the front of the room ready to take my order. I knew who they were and why they were selling tamales at the medium sized table just to their left. The table would have seated six people with two on each side, punctuated by another two, one at each end.  But, that wasn’t the real reason for the table in the front.

That table was there to let us know that we could help to fill the empty tables of our neighbors with food, joy, hope, and tamales made with and given in love.

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“We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.” – Aristotle Onassis

Sailing in High Winds

“I don’t know what to do,” Gordon Lin said, looking as if he had just run a marathon. The skin under his eyes was drooping, as if wax running down the side of a candle stick, even though the flame in his eyes was currently doused. “I don’t even know if I can do this anymore. It’s as if I’ve been sailing against high winds, forever. I’ve never done anything this hard before.” 

The effects of recent hard sailing were evident in his posture and expression. Yet, what was undetectable to him, less obvious at the time, was something greater; the elements of high wind sailing, he’d developed as a result his voyage. He was also the embodiment of what Aristotle Onassis, a Greek and Argentine business entrepreneur, once taught.

Mr. Onassis, who once possessed the world’s largest privately-owned shipping fleet, imparted, “We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.”

Here are the elements of successful high wind sailing, exemplified by both Aristotle Onassis and Gordon Lin; both masters of such navigating in life.

Find your purpose or goal. About twenty-five years ago Gordon was recently married and they were living in a small mobile home. Yet, he knew what his purpose was. So, he set his goal prominently in his view and made sure he attended to it every day.

“I think about it every week. I think of it every day. It is always on my mind. I think about it constantly,” he said to me once, in those meager days.

Finding purpose for your life is like having a compass for use during your journey.

Know how far you are. When navigating his way, Gordon Lin always created accountability measures to chart his course. He took the time to determine the daily steps he needed to take to make progress toward what he wanted.

“I often awaken at about three in the morning, thinking about the things I need to do. I think, for some reason, that’s the most likely time for me to receive inspiration.” Gordon explained to me once, not long ago.

His focus, on set purpose, seems to have allowed him to develop a sort of internal Sextant that allows him to measure the angles between where he currently is and what course changes he needs to make to reach his goal.

Draw a road map. Just the other day Gordon spent a few minutes with me on the phone, verbally drawing a map of the route he had created to get through the current rough seas he was working to traverse. He had taken the time and made the effort to prepare for departure toward calmer waters.

If you don’t know how, LEARN. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be learning because of this,” he said just the other day. That means he was searching to find what he needed to learn. He actively looks to find out what skills and information he needs, so he can focus on the lesson, master it and then move forward.

Finally, when you think you’ve made it you will probably have to work harder. There seems to be a universal principle in our world that states, “Let’s see if you’re serious!” That means you can expect to receive the greatest resistance right as you see success just ahead. That happened to Gordon just this last week.

“I thought we were there,” he said in a voice filled with frustration. “But, I’ve spent the last two days working to get everyone back on board; after some interference from people who don’t have the information they need to give valid advice. I was able to go through the plan with everyone again and get them comfortable.”

“We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.” I thought to myself as he spoke.

Gordon has learned how to sail in high winds. And, he’s getting better at it every day, by using these five elements.

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“Just because people are wearing the same costume doesn’t mean they’re the same.”

Beyond A Costume

The color of the cross-arm changed. That was the signal I’d been hoping to see at the end of a two-hour drive. It meant I could go into the parking terrace, park my car and walk into the air terminal to catch my upcoming flight. Upon finding a suitable parking space, I unloaded my two bags. Then, I walked toward the swooshing doors that would magically slide, to welcome all visitors; even exceptionally tall ones.

Such was the case at this moment, when a seemingly, redwood-tall-man approached the enchanted entrance with me. I say redwood-tall, not because his hair had any red color in it, but because of his height. He would be noticeable anywhere because of his stature. And, in this instance he was also noticeable because of this broad, warm smile.

While looking up toward the top of this tree-high man, I could see his head dip slightly as he said hello and offered a “good afternoon.” It was the opening I’d hoped for, because of my curiosity.

“How tall are you?” I asked, adding a quick follow-up statement. “You almost bumped your head walking through that first door!”

“Yes,” he replied genially. “I know I really won’t bump my head here, but its close enough that I still seem to duck just a little every time.”

His comment suggested a familiarity with those swooshing doors, so I looked a little closer and lower on his trunk. And, sure enough, there was a lanyard dangling from his neck which identified him as an employee of the airport we were walking in to. The identification tag, swinging from the lanyard, was accentuated by his long-sleeved shirt and full-length trousers, both fully navy blue; his work clothes, a costume so to speak.

Had he been wearing a different costume, I may have mistaken him for a professional basketball player.  But, he wore no jersey or fancy sweat suit.

“I’m six-foot-seven,” he offered with a slight laugh, highlighting his voice. “My mom and dad are five-foot-three and five-foot-four. If I didn’t look like my mom and dad I would have thought something fishy was happening, as I’m the only one this tall in my family.” 

His short family history and commentary, somehow prompted my remembrance of the story of American Hero, Samuel Fraunces. 

During the American Revolutionary War, Fraunces was a patriot and a spy for the American side. General Washington and his officers celebrated the end of the war with a farewell banquet at Fraunces Tavern, which is still in operation and located in lower Manhattan, on December 4, 1783.

In 1785, Congress recognized Fraunces's role in foiling a 1776 assassination plot against Washington. Since Washington’s life had been spared, he was inaugurated as first President of the United States on April 30, 1789. And, Samuel served as steward of the presidential household in both New York City between 1789-1790 and Philadelphia between 1791-1794.

Samuel Fraunces retired from the presidential household in 1794, and then took over operation of a Philadelphia tavern. He died the following year. His obituary remembered him, in the Gazette of the United States, October 13, 1795 saying, "DIED - On Saturday Evening last, MR. SAMUEL FRAUNCES, aged 73 years. By his death, Society has sustained the loss of an honest man, and the Poor a valuable friend."

Interestingly, since the middle of the 19th century, there has been a dispute about Samuel Fraunces' racial identity. Was he white or was he of African descent? This is, in the minds of some, an interesting question since his nick name was “Black Sam,” and he was born in the West Indies. And, in March 2003, the Independence Hall Association urged the National Park Service to resolve this dispute. They have not done so. 

Perhaps they haven’t done so because, the exceptional life of Samuel Fraunces speaks for itself. He is an American hero and was a true friend to George Washington and other luminaries of his day. Any costumes, in the form of clothing or other labels, he may have worn, potentially leading others to make uninformed conclusions as to the character and depth of the man are meaningless.

And, when a seemingly redwood-tall-man approached the enchanted entrance of an international airport with me just a few ago, we talked with each other. And, in this instance, I learned he was also most notable because of this broad, warm and friendly smile, no matter the costume he may have been wearing at the moment.

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“Its’ no big deal. It’s something I can easily work around.” – Jay Harwood

Eyeing Happiness

“It’s no big deal,” Jay said. “It’s something I can easily work around.”

His words hit my face like cold, flowing water rushing down the side of a tall mountain. They hit me in a two-fisted stream.

First, I had no idea that my buddy had been so affected by seemingly dog-piled health matters. Such lack of knowledge was a sign I hadn’t been attentive, the way a good friend ought to be. So, I asked him to tell me more. That led to me being hit by the second-strike.

Even after having undergone several medical procedures and enduring long healing cycles, he wasn’t looking up from under water, drowning in hopelessness or despair. His view was forward-gazing, brimming with hope. Yes, his circumstance was drifting a little downhill, but he sighted rays of bright light, peeking above his mountain of challenge.

“I’ve just changed how I do things,” Jay explained, with a twinkle in his blue, piercing eyes. “I just need a little assistance from others while I’m healing.”

Healing, I thought. While thinking about it more, I was suddenly not sure why his sight, staring firmly toward happiness, was at all surprising to me. After all, because we’ve been friends for a long time, I’ve watched him stare-down dramatic heartbreak in his personal life before. So, I searched for answers by looking deeper into his eyes, while conversing in a large conference room.

Jay’s striking blue irises were on display, arresting there, dazzling. Perhaps that’s why people who don’t know him well, get detained right there, failing to recognize his immense depth of character. The color is so enthralling, it’s easy to not look deeper. Yet, what I saw, just on the other side of that splendid color, was stone-gray quartzite. A silicified focus on aligning with happiness; come what may.

“What could possibly matter if a person isn’t surrounded by primary, significant relationships?” Jay explained in his affable way.

And, when I looked deeper into those focused, sky-like eyes, I could see the images of which he was referring. The focused-effort he’s expended while caring for his increasing clan, strengthening familial bonds.

“I’d pick my grandkids up from school,” he once explained to me. “I’d leave my work behind, so we could spend time together. We’d do the things that were of interest to them for the entire afternoon. Perhaps other people felt as if what I was doing was insignificant, you know, doing simple things such as playing a card game, loved by the kids. But, it wasn’t insignificant then and it isn’t insignificant, especially now, many years later.”

And now? Jay is keeping his focus on those dear to him. He structures time with family; as much time as possible. The biggest events in his life are all carefully scheduled and prepared in advance. He holds loved-ones in his gaze. Constantly. 

“It’s no big deal. It’s something I can easily work around,” Jay said, as I beheld the quartzite-fixed gaze, entrenched in his eyes. And, I could clearly see the perfection of his vision, because he’s eyeing happiness, always.

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