True to the Core

True to the Core

My right leg was cradled in a yoga band stretching straight into the air, toes pointed toward the sky. I snickered about it.  “This is the highest stretch I’ve ever completed!”  Well, only because I was settled, back on the floor, in a hotel room high in a skyscraper over looking Park Ave.

“Funny, how things work out.” I laughed to myself.

Here I was, doing yoga in an effort to strengthen the core of my body while on a trip to strengthen my true core.  I was there to spend personal time with members of my family and it felt good to be getting some kinks worked out after sitting for hours while traveling.

When I turned my phone on a few minutes earlier, upon airport arrival, the messages began to pop and I spent the entire cab ride to the hotel talking business.

“What do you do?”  The driver asked me between calls.

It was a common enough question and one that I’ve heard hundreds, or maybe even thousands of times throughout the years.  And?  This time I thought about that very question, as he asked it, in more detail than ever before.

We are, too often, identified, selectively, as who we are while we’re working to make money.  Since I wasn’t there to make money on this particular trip, a changed answer formed inside my head.

“I’m really a husband, father, brother, friend and gentleman rancher!”  I said to myself. 

Then my phone tinkled another notice.  It was a call from my surgeon’s office.

“Who do you have as a support system?”  The feminine voice asked.

“Three cows, one pony and a fluffy Welsh Corgi.”  I answered this way only because that other, “changed” answer was still whirling in my head.

“Do you have any humans to support you?”  She retorted good-naturedly.

I was about to give her the answer she was looking for.  Then my mind drifted into remembering a hand written note, enveloped in Robin’s-egg-blue. sitting on my desk at home.  It was lovingly written to me by one of my daughters right before I went into this same hospital three years ago.  Just feeling those warm words of caring and encouragement again brought tears to my eyes.

“Support?  Yes!  I have human support!” I told her emphatically.

When the call was clicked to an end, the words of Marcus clicked on, just as I was arriving for my stay at the hotel, which was jutting, into the afternoon sky.

“In times of trouble, remember who you are!”  Marcus once counseled me.

Not long after my arrival, with Marcus’ words still echoing in my mind, my right leg was cradled in a yoga ban, stretching straight into the air, with toes pointed toward the sky.  I was strengthening the core of my body.  I was there to strengthen my true core, to remember who I am.

The Biggest Smile

“I looked up and saw the biggest smile I had ever seen!” – Steve

The Biggest Smile

“I was sitting, elbows on my knees, hands covering most of my face and I was filled with despair.   My position had me looking down.  That’s why I noticed his worn, ragged shoes before anything else!”  Steve said to me while sitting in the front passenger seat of my car.

We were talking about how each person’s adopted attitude changes his or her life experience while asking if he had ever told me about his own attitude changing experience.  I said no and share he did!

Steve left his home in the United States more than thirty-five years ago and was working in Korea.  “I had everything then.” Steve said.  “I had no worries about money and no other entanglements holding me back.  I was fully engaged in my work.  Everything was great!”

Yet.  Everything was not great!

“I was feeling depressed.  Depressed!  Even though I was of the opinion I had it all, there I was, sitting there, head in hands, feeling hapless.  Until!  Until, I saw those shoes and everything that came with them.”

What came with those shoes?

“My eyes followed those worn out, ragged shoes up.  Up to tattered dirty pants, a filthy shirt and a threadbare coat.  Then an arm, stubbed at the end, reached out to me in a gesture of asking.”

Steve continued describing his implausible rescuer, telling me that the man’s other arm was not fully developed.  His mouth was almost absent of teeth and he was clearly mentally challenged.  Yet, his smiling face beamed with pure joy!

“When I saw his smile I remember thinking, ‘what am I doing!  I have it all and I’m not happy!  I need to emulate this great man’s attitude!’”

At that moment, Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out every bit of money he had with him as a tribute for the lesson he had just been taught.  He reached out, placing & balancing the money on the man’s stubby arm, and watched.  The great man deftly shifted his arm and allowed his reward to drop safely into his coat pocket.  Then he bowed deeply toward Steve, showing his gratitude.  He left Steve a changed man.  They never met again.

“That smile, the biggest smile, changed my position!  I was no longer sitting there with my head in my hands, filled with despair!  I was looking up!  That man still has me looking up!  I’ll never forget the biggest smile I’ve ever seen!”

No. I'm Not Dead Yet!

“Sounds just like you!”  - Mark

No. I’m Not Dead Yet!

“Sounds just like you!” Mark said.

My friend Mark works out of town, so it seems as if we talk by text more than we do “over the fence.”  It was one of those times.  I was looking at my smart phone, waiting for his response, when those words, a screen flash, hit right between my eyes!  They penetrated my forehead and were swirling around in my mind, causing one question to loop over and over again.

“How would I like people to describe me?”

Perhaps this is a question that can best be answered through the creation of a personal credo, a statement of key words about how you and I want to engage with and the lens with which we view the world.  Mark’s statement caused me to begin to ask myself three questions and I wanted to share them with you.

First.  How would I like to be remembered?  At first glimpse, this question would seem to suggest a gravestone.  You know what I mean.  “She liked to dance.”  “Husband, Father, Son.”  I guess one could think of it in that way.  Mark allowed me to see a great big “AND” related to this question as well.  It opened the door for a companion or second personal question.

What am I doing now?  This means taking a long deep look inside.  It’s hard to do!  You and I have little objectivity when it comes to asking hard, personally revealing questions.  Yet it can be done!  I received another note, on screen, this week from another close friend asking for advice.  I responded with what I knew could be gut wrenching guidance.  And, I worried!  As it turned out, I had nothing to worry about.  The next day he answered and had done the hard thing.  I was wowed!  He had taken action.  He was doing!

I responded immediately with, “I admire you and what you have done greatly!”  He has inspired me to do better!  To live my credo purposefully every day!

Third.  Am I living a purposeful life daily? Whether we like it or not, we all have consistency in the way we live.  So ask, yourself, if your actions unfailingly show others who are, what you stand for and who you want to become.  People know what to expect of you and me by observing of our actions over time.  It’s up to us to make sure they receive a view of what we expect of ourselves and in the future on their personal screens.

Another friend of mine wants others to view her as a, “leader of character.”  So, her personal credo is simple, “You can count on me!”  She wants everyone who comes in contact with her to know they can count on her in every situation, especially in challenging and difficult conditions.  She inspired me to strategically place a particular photo on my desk.  It is another kind of screen that flashes an important message to me constantly.

The photo, encased in a protective plastic frame, centered right between my eyes, is of the U.S. Marine Corps India Company.  My close friend Captain Matt is in that photo.  He and his men remind me to be like them every day, to live a life of honor and fidelity, to always be true!  Traits I want to make sure “sound just like me.”

The Great Experiment

“I don’t know what I could have done differently!” – Glenn

The Great Experiment

Glenn had a sincere look on his face and honesty resonating in the tone of his voice.

“I don’t know what I could have done differently!” he said during a discussion about his interaction with political adversaries.  Then there was a punctuating pause.

“But.”  He said.  I could see the wheels turning. There was a “180” coming!  I could tell.

“But! I know what I haven’t tried!”  His breath stopped short, as if receiving a wonderful surprise.  I watched realization startle his eyes and then manifest a glow on his face.  “I can change my approach.  I can look inside.   I can become a better person!  I can watch every word that comes out of my mouth so I don’t say something inflammatory.”

There was a hitch in his voice the next moment.  It was almost a hiccup.

“That’s really, really hard!”

“Well, yeah!” I said to myself.  You see, I’ve suffered from “foot-in-mouth” disease my entire life. So I understood what he was saying, personally well.   I’ve also seen how especially hard it is, for seemingly everyone, during “political” season, which has revealed deepening discontent all around.  And, as demonstrated by Glenn, it has revealed, opened an opportunity for discovery!

While reading some classic American literature, such as “The Last of the Mohicans,” I discovered something seemingly forgotten about our shared history.  It is a thought eighteenth and nineteenth century writers expressed as “The Great Experiment.”  It was also, at times, referred to as “American Exceptionalism.”

This commonly held theory was and is not a belief that Americans are better than everyone else.  No!  It is a questioning of whether or not a person can govern him or herself.  The idea of America was and is, a great experiment to see if we can govern ourselves.  It is also an idea I watched Glenn discover for himself!

We, every one of us, seek new discoveries in life; new fashion, seashore retreats and entertainment; things we all desire very much.  But these are altogether a mark of the most common, and are easily obtained.  What is uncommon is to seek and find, more quiet, and more freedom through exploration of self.  Such self-examination, self-governance, has the possibility to take us to greater depths of joy and freedom than we have imagined so far.  It is an experiment we can all decided to try.

“I know what I haven’t tried.”  Glenn’s words confirm in my ears.  “I can change my approach.  I can look inside.   I can become a better person!  I can watch every word that comes out of my mouth so I don’t say something inflammatory.” 

“That’s really, really hard!”

That’s what makes it exceptional!

Will you join us and take part in “The Great Experiment?”