Peace Offering

 

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.  To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” – Calvin Coolidge

Peace Offering

“I was out of money!”  Sharon said.  “So, I went to a business, I owed money to, so I could tell them I didn’t have enough funds to pay them right now.  I was hoping they would give me more time to get them their money.”

What happened to Sharon while in that same store surprised and touched her.  The man behind the counter pulled out his wallet and handed her some of his own money saying, “I hope this helps” while offering Sharon Newton a heartfelt-gift. Such offered, voluntary compassion to another, unknown person, brings to mind a statement once made by Calvin Coolidge.

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.  To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy is to have the real spirit of Christmas.”

Oliver Burkeman, author of “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” wrote about this very same type of personalized giving by counseling everyone to “see that preparing nutritious meals for your children might matter as much as anything could ever matter, even if you won’t be winning any cooking awards; or that your novel’s worth writing if it moves or entertains a handful of your contemporaries, even though you know you’re no Tolstoy; or that virtually any career might be a worthwhile way to spend a working life if it makes things slightly better for those it serves.”

Sharon has always been believed in following such a path of service in life.  She made it her life’s work as teacher of language to children for her entire career.  And now, even though she’s retired from professional teaching, her commitment to blessing lives, one by one, has not waned in the slightest; as witnessed by one of her friend’s again just days ago.

Sharon wanted to give a holiday gift to her friend, even as her finances were wearing thin.  She’s been giving of herself for so long that it didn’t take her but mere moments to decide how to express her love to this friend.  Here’s how her friend described Sharon’s offering of affection.

“I went to visit Sharon to make sure all was well.  I also wanted to give her a small Christmas gift and wish her all my best.  She’s always doing so much for the children she volunteers to teach.  But, just after I offered my small token to her she touched my heart by giving me something precious.  A gift which was truly from her heart.”

Upon Sharon’s graceful reception of her friend’s gift she proffered a boxed gift of her own to her friend, saying, “I wanted to give you something special.  I’ve been collecting these over the years and they’re dear to me.  Just like you are.”

The gift Sharon gave her friend was more than just the annually collected, china ornaments contained in the box.  She was offering a portion of herself, plenteous mercy, goodwill as well as the cherished peace obtainable only through heartfelt friendship.

“I was out of money!”  Sharon said to a group of her friends at a cordial gathering.  “So, I went to a business, I owed money to, and told them I didn’t have the funds to pay them right now.  I was hoping they would give me more time to get them their money.”

What happened to Sharon while in that same store surprised and touched her.  The man behind the counter pulled out his wallet and handed her some of his own money saying, “I hope this helps” while offering Sharon Newton a heartfelt-gift. 

Such voluntary compassion given freely by both this unknown man and Sharon are validations of their conviction and commitment to establish peace on earth.

No one is meant to go through this life alone.  Just imagine if everyone continually gave offerings of peace, just as Sharon and the giving-man behind the counter.

Blind Resolve

“Life is not about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.” – Lolly Daskal

Blind Resolve

“It’s interesting that you used the word quit.”  Steve said.

That’s because Steve Maranville has heard that word for more than sixty years.

“My forty-fifth-year high school class reunion is coming up soon.”  Steve continued.  “I’ve been in contact with a few of my classmates over the years, but not very many of them.”

So, he decided to begin to reach out to more classmates so he could discover what his peers had been up to over these many years.  It would allow him to enjoy a reunion with more depth centered on personal connection.  What he didn’t anticipate was an illumination.  An enlightenment concerning the difference between living with goals compared to living with resolution.

“One of my Classmates said something interesting to me.”  Steve elaborated.  “He said, ‘if anyone had a reason to quit it was you!’”

While attending high school Steve was legally blind.  But, he still had some vision in his eyes as well as a vision of who he could become, something the eyes of others couldn’t see, inside himself.  He also had something to prove to the world.  There was something, a feeling, deep in his core, his very soul, that propelled him toward proving himself to everyone, most importantly to himself.

“My Classmate’s comment about having a reason to quit brought a key distinction to my mind.”  Steve explained.  “There is a difference between living a goal focused life and living with resolve!”

Steve was once a professor in a prestigious university business school.  Now he’s a highly regarded and sought-after advisor to entrepreneurs seeking to build “unicorn” companies.  And, he is foremost and will always be a master teacher.

“Everyone will face moments in life when they want to quit.”  He imparted. “That’s the moment when a person has an internal confrontation.  They have a choice at that very moment.  Do I have a goal or do I have resolve?”

Here’s a brief description of what Steve calls “Blind Resolve.” 

A goal is just something out there on the horizon.  It hasn’t occurred yet.  It’s something you may accomplish in the future.  “I call that living with hope!”  Steve explains.

A resolution is very different! “I call it living in real-time, faith, knowing, right now, that you've already done it, become transformed.  It is an immediate change. It is a made decision!”

Living with resolve is the definition of living fully in faith.  It is Blind Resolve.

Blind Resolve means being blind to all of the hurdles and reasons you can’t or won’t become the person you dream of becoming.  You only see that you’re already that person.  It’s who you are now, in this moment.  The option of quitting has passed.

“It’s interesting that you used the word quit.”  Steve said as we talked about events and circumstances that had become the stimulus of immense personal transformation that had occurred in our lives over the past year.  The statement was Steve’s precursor; an introduction to a master teacher’s lesson about the distinction between living in hope and living in faith.

The difference is Blind Resolve.

Windbreak

Joshua Moppin, acting as a windbreak for his children.

Windbreak

It felt as if it had turned winter overnight.  The day before had been beautiful; an azure blue sky, a light breeze, with a temperature in the low 70’s.  Now the wind was coming from the north.  It was sort of stiff.  It was chilling for sure and standing on the cold cement of a residential driveway seemed to allow nature’s cold to climb into our feet, up our legs and then into the core of our chests where it was greeting the wind.  Joshua and I were feeling uncomfortable because of the weather.  Yet his eyes were pleading for another reason.

““It’s hard to get up every day, put a smile on my face and go to work when I’m struggling for my kids.”  He said.  “I’ve been spending the last few nights at the hospital because my daughter’s there and she needs me now, more than ever.”

His words joined in with the icy wind beating against my chest.

“I don’t know what’s happened!”  He continued.  “When my kids were little they were so joyful and fun to be with.  Now, as teenagers, they seem to be confused about their capabilities and future.”

We continued to talk.  There on that cold driveway, battling icy winds.  Nature’s blustering was a clear reminder that winter had arrived and the societal headwinds that Joshua is experiencing is blowing against all of us, as parents.  He, like lots of others, is working to protect the people he ushered into the world.  And, our conversation was acting as the windbreak Joshua needed in the moment.

I first learned of the importance of a windbreak as a child, while traveling by car over the windswept plains of Wyoming during the winter.  My parents pointed out the large brown horizontal-slat-fences that stood guard along I-80.  They told me of their two-fold purpose.  First, to slow the howling wind as it rushed ferociously across the land.  Second, to capture as much blowing snow as possible.  In short, their job is to help keep the road, where they stand, clearer, so travelers can continue forward more safely.  Still, there are times when the essential work they do isn’t enough and some people die.  Yet, when I drove that same freeway, east bound, about one year ago, fifty or so years later, those fences were still there, standing as sentinels, helping me pass through the teeth of a frightening winter storm.

While standing on the concrete looking in that same easterly direction, Joshua reminded me of those solitary sentinels.  Here’s what I saw as I marveled at his strength of purpose.

First, Joshua knows that even though he and his teenaged children are battling buffeting winds now, that won’t always be the case.  If he can shelter his loved ones from the very worst, perhaps they’ll have a chance to learn important lessons while still being able to live successful lives over time.

Second, he is continuing to model a way of living that will help show others the way toward success.  He can do this himself, independently.  But, there is no way for him for force others into finding and accepting the shelter of his demonstrated path.

Third, he knows there is only so much he can do.  The dreaded possibility that he may not be able to save everyone he holds dear will continue to worry him if the winds his loved-ones venture into become too violent.

Fourth, he firmly holds on to the knowledge that the only way to defeat violence is through strong, never failing love.  Nothing can stop him from demonstrating that love, no matter the strength of the winds he’s laboring to break.

Finally, Joshua now knows that he has at least one friend and ally who will stand with him. Because I told him I would during our time together.

As Joshua and I talked together It felt as if it had turned winter overnight.  The day before had been beautiful; an azure blue sky, a light breeze, with a temperature in the low 70’s.  Now the wind was coming from the north.  It was sort of stiff.  It was chilling for sure and standing on the cold cement of a residential driveway seemed to allow nature’s cold to climb into our feet, up our legs and then into the core of our chests where it was greeting the wind.  Joshua and I were feeling uncomfortable because of the weather.  Yet his eyes were showing the deepest kind of strength.

Joshua Moppin’s warm, boundless affection is acting as a windbreak for his children as they struggle to grow into his love.

The Coincidence-Connection

“Are you looking for information?” - Jacquie Brockhoff

The Coincidence-Connection

It was unfamiliar territory.  You know how it is.  You’re driving around and see a neighborhood, a place, that catches your attention for some reason. That was the case on this bright day.  And so, for some reason I stopped the car right there on the corner, off the state highway, so I could look, discover, more intently at what it was that caught my attention.  When I did, something else caught my notice.

Another car, headed in the opposite direction stopped right next to me.  The driver, a woman, lowered her window and asked, “Are you looking at our neighborhood?”

“Yes.”  I replied.

“Great she said!  I’ve lived here for a couple of years and I love it!  There are three model homes right there.”  She said, pointing to the first home on my right.  “Would you like to walk through them with me?” Jacquie Brockhoff continued, with a friendly, warm, energetic smile.

Though hesitant, because I was still unsure of why I had stopped there, I accepted her invitation.  We spent the next twenty minutes, or so, walking through the three homes and getting to know each other a little bit.

As it turned out, Jacquie doesn’t work for the builder of the homes we toured that day.  She doesn’t even sell real estate.  She works for a company called Tankersley UniProl Foodservice, where she acts as a Seafood Specialist.  She said, “I just had a feeling I should stop and help you.”

I’ve been pondering her kind assistance and this experience over the past six months, or so, trying to discover a reason for this coincidence.  Why was I drawn to that place, on that day and time?  Why did Jacquie stop to help me, a perfect stranger?  Was there a message in this occurrence for me?  An answer to this question didn’t take long to arrive in the form of another person.

Less than one month later a friend of mine, Susan Monroe, currently living in Sacramento came to visit.  During her visit Susan, Justin and I spent a few minutes strolling through a gallery, filled with exceptional pieces of art.  The beauty surrounding us seemed to open her mouth and she confided, “I need to leave Sacramento. I can do my work from anywhere and I’ve been looking for the right place to live.  I am pretty sure this is the right place.”

She went on to describe her ideal home and neighborhood.  We talked about it over the three days she was visiting and to my surprise she described the neighborhood Jacquie had shown me!  I just knew it.  So, Susan, Justin and I drove over to the neighborhood together.  She and Justin loved it, and now in two weeks, Susan and Justin will be renting a home there. Coincidence?  Another message?

Are there really any coincidences in our lives?  While asking myself this question I’ve thought back on many other interesting coincidences that have occurred over time.  And, a noticeable pattern has come more into focus.

Our universe is made up of energy, energy that responds to our expectations.  People are part of that energy universe too, so when we have a question, the people who have the answer show up to deliver it to us.  And now, I’m just trying to get this through my head.

Everyone who crosses our path has a message for us.  Otherwise they would have taken another path, or left earlier or later.  The fact that these people, like Jacquie and Susan, come at a specific moment means that they are there for a reason.  The hard part is figuring out who to take time to talk with when talking with everyone is impossible!  That means it’s essential to develop a sense of recognition.

How do you do that?

The first step is to begin to analyze the coincidences that naturally come your way.  See them for what they are.  An opportunity to receive an important message.

The second step is to make a corollary recognition; you also have important messages to deliver to the people with whom you “coincidently” come into contact with.

Finally, remember to always keep your own particular questions in mind.  That way you will be able to benefit more quickly than those not consciously making the coincidence-connection.  Even people who are still unaware of this coincidence phenomenon can stumble into answers and see coincidences in retrospect.  

Using retrospective reflection will open the way for you to see concurrences as a source for answers as they arrive, so your everyday proficiency will be heightened.

For most of us, this is unfamiliar territory. But, you’ll know how it really is.  You’ll be living your life naturally, when someone or something catches your attention for some reason. That can be the case every day if you keep our particular questions in the forefront of your mind.  You can assume every event; every meeting has significance and contains messages that somehow pertain to answering the questions you’re grappling with.

But, there’s one more thing. The key to this.  Being able to really use the coincidence-connection to its full measure, additionally means, speaking-up, entering into an exchange. It’s also when it is your moment to give a message to others.  Because it is someone else’s coincidence too.