Setting and Keeping Priorities

"Is it really business, family, God or is it God, family business?"

• Urban Meyer
  

Setting and Keeping Priorities

I got in my car Sunday night and began to back out of my garage in the cold, dark December night. As I coasted to the end of my driveway I reached over to turn the radio on. I thought it would be a chance for me to listen to some music during my sojourn to the airport to pick up my daughter.

I knew it had been a long day for her. Weather, just before the winter holiday traffic began, had caused flight delays and cancellations. She had been trying to leave New York for several days and finally took advantage of a small window of opportunity. Still, it hadn't been easy.

She had boarded the first plane only to sit on the tarmac for over an hour before it was announced that a mechanical problem was forcing a plane change. This delay was sure to cause a cascade of other challenges and we knew one of them was that she would miss her connecting flight. Still, she continued on, not knowing every obstacle she would face, but having faith that it would all work out in the end.

And it had worked out in the end. Here I was, on my way to relieve her from a fifteen hour journey that began on a train, was forever on airplanes, and would end in the comfort of a warm, welcoming car.

It was in the welcoming car that I heard the news that Urban Meyer had been having health problems and was taking a leave of absence from his coaching position at the University of Florida. Now, I normally don't give a second's thought to coaching changes, but I do follow news regarding Urban Meyer. After all, he taught me one of the great lessons of my life when he was at the University of Utah.

That lesson is: One man can make a huge difference. He can make a difference in a football program, a university, a community, in an individual and a family. I've watched him do it in Salt Lake City and in Gainesville while stating over and over again it isn't a coach that makes the difference, it's the program.

I continued listening to the radio program and heard Mr. Meyer say, "And then I'm a person of faith, and I just wanted to make sure I had my priorities straight. A lot of times coaches do not have their priorities straight. You put business before God and family, you have a problem."

I drove on, knowing that at least for this one night I had my priorities right. My daughter slid into my car, we talked and laughed, and drove home together. Our drive together was a small window of opportunity and I was taking advantage of it. I don't know all of the obstacles I'll face as I manager my program of priorities, but I'm more determined than ever to have my priorities right, and to have faith that everything will all work out in the end.

 

Unmasking

"We got two glow-in-the-dark masks."

• Michelle Fry
  

Unmasking

I knocked on the door not really knowing what to expect. I knew these people just a little bit; on the surface. That's a lot different from really knowing them. You know how it is, you think you know someone until you live with them and then you find out who they really are. And, I wasn't here to move in, but I was here to get to know these neighbors better; to try to remove their masks, if you know what I mean.

After all, we all wear masks for others to see. The truth is that I think almost everyone of us is afraid to show at least some people around us who we really are. We don't want people to think we're weak or not capable, or . . .? Well, you get the picture.

When the door opened, the interior of the home jumped out like a picture in a magazine. It was clean and well furnished, and the face greeting me was bright with a smile. The warmth of that smile and the home drew me in.

I could tell that the warmth I felt from these people was melting any masks away. I knew that mine had vanished as soon as I sat down. It was comfortable to be there and as we talked, our friendship was deepening. I could tell by the amount of laughter in the room.

"These people removed the masks within their family a long time ago. They know how to have a good time with each other. They know how to enjoy life as a family." I whispered with my inside voice.

"Tell him about the masks," Cory said.

"We got these two glow-in-the-dark masks and put them close to the light for a long time so they'd be real bright!" Michelle responded.

I watched Colton, their twenty-something son, squirm a little as his parents spun a tale of scaring him so badly one night that there wasn't a soul still sitting due to uncontrollable laughter.

When I was able to control my laughing again, this moment seemed to freeze, even in the warm glow of friendship. I saw the sparkle in each person's eyes. I noted everyone's lips drawn up toward their ears. I recognized the softness of love and caring in every face.

"No one can love and laugh like this with a mask on," I said to myself.

Love combined with laughter will always unmask loneliness and fear. Mixing them into your interactions will brighten your life and deepen your relationships. When you do, everyone around you will know they won't need to hide behind a mask any more. They'll recognize the genuine thing when they see it, and so will you.

The Gifts of Culture and Friendship

"What happened in that meeting?"

• Richard Porcelli
  

Giving and Receiving the Gifts of Culture and Friendship

I once worked in an office where people came from many countries. It made life so fresh and interesting! You can imagine the wonderful lessons I learned. We were from the four corners of the earth, The Sudan, Philippines, Pakistan, Lebanon, Palestine, Saudi Arabia and the United States all working together for a common cause.

There was also a lot of cause for miscommunication and misunderstanding. We all used English as our common tongue yet, we were from differing cultural and religious backgrounds. This all combined to make our interactions very interesting from time to time.

On one occasion our largest Client came over from the United States to spend some time working with us. So, in honor of his visit everyone worked hard to speak their very best English in all of our meetings. Still I'll never forget walking out of one particular meeting and having him pull me aside.

"What happened in that meeting?" said he.

I looked back at him with a confused look on my face saying, "Richard, the meeting was in English."

"That was English?" he replied.

All I could do at that point was to laugh boisterously. He then began to laugh as well. Those were times when I couldn't make many assumptions and I learned a lot.

I learned lots of lessons about accepting the way other people approach life and do things, while working in that office filled with wonderful people who talked and thought so differently than I did. So lately, when I've run in to a few people that have been so demanding, so commanding, about making sure that others see and do things in a way that matches their view of the world I've found myself beginning to bristle from their demeanor. When this happens, I've had to take a moment to relax and travel in my mind back to the Middle East and those days in a world of difference.

I see myself at my friend Jungee's birthday party thinking it was all wrong. Jungee had purchased his own birthday cake to share it with us, his friends. I had come not knowing it was a birthday party and I felt embarrassed that Jungee had purchased his own cake. I mentioned my feelings to another friend at the party and he was kind enough to teach me, to shift from my view to that of my friend.

"In our culture a person always provides his own birthday cake. It shows he has taken responsibility for his own life and he chooses to share it with his friends and family." He taught.

What a gift it is to receive knowledge and friendship from peoples of many nations, religions and cultures. These are gifts we can all receive and give at the same time. I hope you will receive these gifts from me as I receive them from you.

Taking Time to Celebrate

My daughter's wedding

Taking Time to Celebrate

I look at my calendar for the coming week and see that there just isn't enough time to get everything done. I look at it again and again, but I keep coming to the same conclusion! There isn't enough time to complete everything I would like to finish.

Two days ago I was getting bundled up to go out and feed my neighbor's animals so I could finish one more thing on my list for the day. That's when Kilee, my daughter, asked if she could come out and help me. It was a kind gesture, to be sure, since she is busier right now than I am.

Kilee is getting married this week. She has lots on her mind; including college finals, a full time job and finishing the last details of her wedding which will take place this Saturday. Still, she wanted to take time to go out into the freezing cold and help me!

As we walked across the ice-covered ground my heart was warmed by her generosity. I also realized that this would most likely be the last time we would be carrying hay and grain together before she completes her vows and moves into her new home. Suddenly, during that special father-daughter moment, the rest of my calendar didn't matter anymore!

There are times in life when you just have to lay everything aside and celebrate! And, I have a lot to celebrate this week.

I have a chance to take a full week to enjoy the accomplishments of a daughter who has grown into a beautiful, capable person. It's a wonderful opportunity to take delight in the fact that she has selected a man with a good heart and morals to add to our family. This is a once in a life time week to spend with the people I treasure above all else! They're the reason I work so hard.

As I looked at this week's calendar this morning I watched item after item easily fall into the next week as they paled in importance to spending time with my daughter. Everything else will work out in its own time because this is a week of celebration. Please celebrate with me! And, make sure you celebrate the important moments of your life every chance you get.