Discovering Your Life's Narrative

Cricket’s search for internal strength

Discovering Your Life’s Narrative

It was a warm, early summer morning.  At first it seemed as if it was like the start of every other summer day.  And, as I began walking up the street the day’s beginning was changing with every step taken.  The change I saw wasn’t in me.  It was in one of my companions!

There have been times in my life when I’ve failed to live up to my own expectations, so when I could see and absorb this same trait in my companion I could relate on a personal basis.  She had been struggling on almost every level of her life.  At least that’s what I thought until this very moment.

I knew her body wasn’t up to its normal capability.  That much was obvious to any casual on-looker.  Her body was holding her back.   That was a fact.  My wife and I had spent weeks nursing her back to health, and during this process I remember one comment Sue made to me in particular.

“I just don’t know if she has the strength to make it!”  She said with anguish in her voice.

There were times I had the same feeling as I saw only a dim light in her eyes.  The usual luster those eyes normally shared had faded to a mere hollowing of defeat.  There was no laughter.  No light.  No joy.  All I could see was pain with a shadow of deep sorrow.

And now?  I was seeing something other than sorrow and pain.  I was seeing determination and inner strength!

While living our lives together I wondered at how a simple event, walking each morning and evening, could be so inspiring and important to her.  Now, because of her physical condition I watched as her pain was increased because she couldn’t participate any longer.  That was then.  This was now!

We had made progress together yesterday and the day before.  We would walk.  She would rest.  We made it to one milestone the day before yesterday.  We made it to another one yesterday.  And today?

It was the same process.  And, something new was happening.  She had her head down; as if into the wind.  The pain and sorrow of before had been replaced by magnificent determination.  We walked.  She stopped and rested.  She got up.  She walked on.  She rested.  She walked on.  The she reached a personal climax!

There is a particular spot at the top of our street where we make a turn toward home.  She was there!  She looked up at me.  She smiled.  Her eyes were full of joy and triumph.  She was proud of herself!  She had written a new narrative for her life!

She was physically wounded and suffering.  Life was seeping out of her.  Yet she never gave up.  She kept longing and working for more.  When others would have given up she pressed on and kept her nose into the wind until she could claim her own victory.  I saw the claim staked in her eyes and transferred to the world through her smile. 

Cricket has reminded me that a person must search for answers internally.  Real strength comes from within.  Look within yourself and live the extraordinary narrative you discover there.

Idea Mirage

An entrepreneur with an idea.

Idea Mirage

I sat at the end of a long conference table as I watched the CEO make his presentation.  This was an entrepreneur I had never met in person.  It was our first meeting and we had others Cooperative Venturers there, working as a team.

“You spent the whole time telling us about your product, not about your business model.”  I said as he concluded his presentation.

“Right!”  He replied.  “It’s the product that’s important.”

“Tell me why you think that.”  I continued on.

“Because it’s the best drug delivery system available!  That means people will want to buy it.”  He responded.

I can see why he believed that.  It’s a common misconception.  I haven’t met many entrepreneurs, especially first timers, who don’t believe the same thing.  In one way, they’re right.  And, in my experience they’re seeing only one part of the picture.

I call seeing this one part of the whole picture “Idea Mirage.”  That’s because it’s like the belief that one can see water on a far horizon in the desert.  A traveler believes the water is there because she can see it in the distance.  But, that belief doesn’t make it true.  Don’t get me wrong, I live in the desert and I know there’s water there!  It’s just not on the make-believe horizon!

The water is deep underground; you have to drill down to get access to it.  I know this first hand.  I live in a place where my ancestors came and tried to live.  They climbed over a mountain to get here.  They assumed it would be like the side of the mountain they came from.  Their side had a stream running out of the canyon.  It provided them with what they needed to live.  But, when they got on my side of the mountain there wasn’t a stream.  It was dry.  So, they climbed back over the mountain and built a community there.

I like to joke with people about this today when they come to my place.  “I can’t believe they couldn’t dig a well 320 feet!”  I laugh, know that if all I had was a shovel and a pickaxe I couldn’t have done it either!

Luckily, technology has changed over the past one hundred and fifty years. So, at the beginning of my project I hired a drilling company to come and work on my land.  They drove a huge truck with an extraordinary drill, to the location of my choice, and began to move earth.

They drilled and installed a casing, eight inch steel pipe, to keep the hole from caving in as they descended into the dry, hard ground.  After three or four days of drilling they hit pockets of water, but continued on until they hit a destination with adequate flow for my purposes.  Only then did they install a pump and connect it to the electricity I paid other people to deliver.

This same location, my place, looks completely different now than it did twenty years ago before the well and other things were constructed.  Now I have lush green fields where my beef cattle and horses grow fat and happy!  It’s a far cry from the parched, concrete like, ground that greeted me when I purchased it.  It’s no mirage! 

Here’s what I learned from the process of building an oasis in the desert.

The idea of having an oasis will remain a mirage without creating an infrastructure capable of bringing it into existence.  I talk with lots of people who tell me they’d love to have a place like mine and they have ideas as to what they could do there.  I get it.  And, they don’t take the time to build a plan with a team to make it happen.

The team is really important!  I hired the best well driller I could find.  He was hard to get!  In fact, after months of messages, he still wouldn’t return my telephone calls.  I finally resorted to driving until I found him and then I pulled my car in front of his truck so he couldn’t drive away without talking with me.  That one bold move allowed me to strike a deal with him.  If I had waited for him to return my call I’d still be waiting!  He was a key ingredient to bringing my creation into reality and I knew it.  I did what ever it took to get him on my team.

The other components to my team were easier to put together.  Still, I needed to hire all kinds of specialists.  I went through a vetting process to make sure I was getting the best possible help.  There was a time in my life when I believed I could learn to do anything, but working with selected, skilled artisans showed me that in order to create something lasting, beautiful and dynamic I needed to have extraordinary people working with me.

To overcome Idea Mirage a person needs to:

Have a vision of what they want to accomplish,

Create a sound comprehensive plan to get there,

Do what it takes to find the right partners,

Work with people of skill and commitment to cooperatively carry out their plan,

And, work with this specialized team for as long as it takes to create something special.

People who what to create something special don’t just have an idea.  They do more than just dream about it.  They create it with other extraordinary people, even if they’re in a desert.

The Flight of Joy

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

-       Jeff Van Gundy

The Flight of Joy

In my business I spend a great deal of time doing comparable studies.  That is, looking at the attributes of one property and comparing it with those of another.  It’s a tool I use to demonstrate value or relative value.  It’s the scientific basis for much of the work I do.  And, as in all things scientific there is an artistic and relative (eye of the beholder) side to comparable studies.  I learned this lesson fairly early in my career as it was showing a particular property to a woman who was looking to purchase a home.

We drove up to the home she wanted to examine.  It was a small, white clapboard home with an unkempt yard.  I opened the front door after bouncing up a couple of steps.  Then I looked in to see that if I set a marble down, at the front door, and released it, it would roll to the back of the house and accelerate the entire way.  In short, my immediate thought after opening that door was, “This house is a tear-down!”  Then I shifted my gaze from the house to my companion’s face. 

She was not having the same experience I was.  I could see it in her eyes!

“This is exactly what I’m looking for!”  She said.  “It’s in move-in condition!”

I learned a great and important lesson that day!  And, as a result of this one experience, I try to never use my own wants, desires and preferences as a comparison for the people I provide service to.  And, I recently learned another important application of this same principle.

I was listening to an interview with basketball coach and commentator Jeff Van Gundy just the other day when he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy!”  Of course, he was speaking about the habitual practice of comparing basketball teams from differing eras.  Yet it struck another chord with me.

Have I been robbing myself of joy by spending time comparing my personality, accomplishments, physical features and possessions with those of others?  Or, am I recognizing beauty, utility, comfort, character and uniqueness when I look at who I am and what I’ve surrounded myself with?  Could this be an important question for you to ask!

I had a friend ask my opinion about a particular subject last week.  It was something I’m very passionate about.  Then, when I finished saying more than I should have said, he graciously responded by saying,  “I knew you had passionate about this!”

He could have stolen my passion and self esteem by comparing his beliefs with mine.  He could have compared my statements with those of others to show me the error of my ways. He chose another path.  He allowed me to experience a flight of joy!

It’s a flight I’d love to enjoy more.  It’s a flight I’d love to see others enjoy more as well.

Will you join me at the airport?

Three Feet

Cricket.

Three Feet

I looked down and saw multiple red colored bumps, each approaching the diameter of a quarter, all over her rear right foot.  They looked sore and when she began to keep that leg cocked and elevated as she walked I could tell they were causing her pain.

Pain is no stranger to this large black dog.  She’s been through so much.  I worried about her welfare in coping with a fourth surgery.  But, it was now blatantly obvious that if her life were to be spared I would need to take her for an examination sooner than later.  I made the appointment for the next day, Wednesday morning.

Such appointments are always hard for me.  I go in not knowing what the outcome is going to be.  Two other times, with two other pets, I went in with my pet only to exit the building without my companion, having tears stream down my cheeks and trying to catch my breath.  I didn’t want to have that experience again, especially on this particular Wednesday. 

We walked into the veterinary hospital and were ushered into a small room where I sat while Cricket paced.  She was in good spirits, though a little nervous. 

Another door opened.  Cricket cowered.

“She recognizes you!”  I said to Jon, our veterinarian.

Jon gently looked at her foot and then looked up to me through concerned eyes.

“This is very aggressive cancer.” He explained.  “The only thing we can do to save her is to remove her leg, try to get ahead of it.”

This wasn’t the news I was hoping for, but it wasn’t the worst of my fears.  A fourth surgery!  It would take place the next day.  There was not a moment to lose in Cricket’s fight for life.  She could still live a fine life with three legs.

I had known one three-legged dog early in my life.  He had been energetic and fun.  I was hoping the result would be the same for this pal of mine.

When I picked my buddy up from the hospital on Friday she was in misery.  I carried her from the car into our house.  She cried a little, but was glad to be back home.  The pain she was feeling showed in her eyes.  It was hard for both of us.  But, it wasn’t the hardest thing to come for me.

The next evening when it was time for me to take my dogs for their walk, she watched intently as I performed my usual ritual of preparation.  Then, as I walked past her, she rose to her three feet and dutifully hobbled along with me to the door.  That moment forced me to make a decision.  Could I tell her she can’t go after such a show of bravery?

I decided to let her come.

We went out the front door and made it just about five feet from the porch onto the lush green grass.  It was then that she had done as much as she could do.  She stood, looking forward, unable to make her body continue no matter how much her heart wanted to proceed.  Her bravery and displayed loyalty, at that moment, will remain with me for the rest of my days!

Cricket has taught me more about bravery and loyalty than anyone.  As her days of healing progress I can only hope to return such character traits back in her direction.  She wears no shoes, but if she did, they’d be mighty big ones to fill. 

I will never be able to fill her sized shoes.  Three feet and still standing.