The Infinite Nature of Love

"Sometimes we get confused and think that we won't have enough love to go around."

• Ken Jones
  

The Infinite Nature of Love

I have three daughters so when someone asks me if I have girls or boys my first reply is always, "I'm a specialist, I only have daughters. When the bible says, beautify the earth, I can confidently say I have obeyed that commandment completely." I've often thought about how these daughters have changed my life.

First, they've taught me the true nature of love. There's no doubt we've done things for them that we wouldn't have done for any other people. I think of many late nights holding them while they were ill; trying to give as much comfort as we could. I also reflect on all the time we've spent taking them to their activities such as gymnastics, horse-back riding, and music lessons. They're the largest investment we've made in life by far.

When I say investment, perhaps it gives you the wrong impression. I don't just mean in money or financial terms. I mean time, effort and talents spent on nurturing them, growing with them and learning from them.

Second, I've learned that investing in life, in living people, is by far the most rewarding and most difficult thing I've ever done. One of my favorite quotes has to do with "(not) adorning yourself with that which has no life." My kids have taught me that they're of much greater value than any material thing. And, I'm quite sure I wouldn't have learned that lesson had I not had any children. When I say that, I'm speaking of myself only!

I know of others who learn the same important lesson by a different path. One of my dearest friends has never married and has never had children of her own, but she has touched the lives of thousands of kids through her teaching. When all is said and done, she's probably spent more time teaching and learning from children than I ever will. I've known Monica for more than twenty-five years and when I look into her Scandinavian blue eyes there's no doubt in my mind that she's invested her whole life in the lives of countless children who have left her classroom to become wonderful people. Her work has created a deeper and richer experience for those she has taught as well as for herself.

There are times when I'm sure she's felt as if her energy was spent. I'm sure there have been many days when she felt as if she just couldn't give out any more love; there just wasn't enough to go around. I'm sure about that because I've felt that way on many occasions and I have just three children. Until now, I couldn't imagine having enough love to give to thirty or thirty-five different children each and every year. But, she's done it and has had love to spare!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because one of my daughters just got engaged to be married. And, you know, I've said for years, "I only know about daughters, I don't have a clue when it comes to boys." Well, now I have my chance to learn something new. I've also realized that my family isn't getting smaller, it's getting larger. I'm beginning to see that perhaps I've been unknowingly limiting the amount of love I have to give due to my focus on the number three.

And isn't that fitting? The third lesson I'm learning is that allowing more people into my life doesn't take love away from the people I already love. It simply allows me to reach down into the well of my heart and pull more love out. It gives me the chance to give more and at the same time to receive and learn more. That's the true nature of love.

Love has the power to expand infinitely if each one of us makes the decision to allow it to do its work. If you're going through changes in your life and they have you feeling challenged and a little displaced, find a way to hand out more love. If you'll do that you'll find that you'll soon be receiving much more than you've given. It will return to you many times and in many ways.

I believe in this so much now that I've added a new aspect to my personal vision. I've decided to focus more of my time and talents to help young women who need to be mentored by a father. I'm excited about what I can give and the lessons that will surely be coming my way.

More love will be coming your way if you want it to. You have infinite love to give. You have infinite value to give. You can create a better and happier life for others as well as for yourself if you'll simply embrace the infinite nature of love.

A Life Guiding Question

"The question people should be asking themselves before they do anything is; what's the right thing to do?"

– Paul H. Cook

A Life Guiding Question

My friend Paul Cook has done well in his life. You may ask what I mean by doing well because there are lots of definitions of "well." My answer to that question is that he's done well in many areas of his life, if not all. He's raised a good family, done well in business and is now dedicated to helping others to have a great life. I want to help others have a great life so I spent a few minutes speaking with him so I could discover the root of some of his success.

More than anything I wanted to learn from him; try to see the world through his eyes. I know of no better way to do that than to talk with a person face to face, eye to eye. You know the old saying, "The eyes are the window to the soul."

When I look into Paul's eyes I see gentle goodness. I also see determination and a desire to make a difference in many people's lives. At the same time, I see a multifaceted dimension to his approach that I have rarely seen before.

Paul has the unique gift of being able to see the whole picture in a relationship kind of way. For example, he understands how important it is to build a community with resources so as to allow the members of the "village" to build a self perpetuating success. At the same time, he sees the importance of helping others with "plenty" to see the importance of using their gifts well outside of themselves.

The reason he has this perspective is that he has experience on both sides of the formula. So much so that even though he's been challenged to the point where most people would give up, he has redoubled his efforts to move forward. And, I know what an effort it is.

Paul's vision has been to build villages in areas that really need the help. Places where all hope and money has been stolen from the people. Places such as Haiti. When he was traveling there on business he knew he had to act, so he did!

First he created a nonprofit foundation using his own money. Second, he enhanced its resources with donations from others. Third he completed a plan for a village center to meet many needs.

The village center has a core as well as separate wings depending on what the community needs. For example, a medical wing, a school wing, and a health care wing. Once he determines exactly what the community's needs are, he uses money resources and human resources to make it a reality. This is where his genius is and I'll give you an example.

One of his friends of wealth had a couple of teenaged kids that were moving toward a path that would certainly bring them a life of misery. Paul could see that so he invited them to come to Haiti to help build a "Village of Hope" there. Happily they agreed and for the first time they were able to see what life was really about. And, it didn't take long; just a few short weeks.

When they returned to their home their father was amazed at the transformation in their lives. It was a miracle he thought would never happen. But, unfortunately it was a miracle for the children alone.

A few months later Paul approached this man of influence and great wealth for a donation of $5,000 to help create another village and the man told him that he didn't have the money to help. "He had reinvested all his money back into his business."

Being a business man himself, Paul said he understood. That is until he was driving with another friend who told him, without knowing of the donation request, that the other man was having a hard time deciding between two different new cars costing about $120,000 each!

Paul said to me, "That's when I became much more careful who I ask to donate. I don't want to put people in a situation where they'll have to answer to their Maker for such actions"

When he said that, I began to think of my own actions in greater detail!

In doing so and in continuing to talk with Paul, we came up with a simple answer to ask ourselves over and over again. We wanted to help ourselves to keep on the path of goodness. So, here it is:

"What's the right thing to do?"

That's it!

Notice it's not, what will make me the most money?

Notice it's not, what will be the easiest thing for me to do?

Notice it's not, what will give me the most short term pleasure?

Notice it's not, what will give me the most power?

Speaking of power, my friend Paul can't work as hard as he used to be able to. You see, while he's been working with people in need overseas he contracted a virus. It's slowed him down. But, it hasn't defeated him! He just presses on asking himself one simple question every day. What's the right thing to do?

Please join us in asking this important question! And, if you'd like to donate to Paul's foundation please send me an email and I'll put you in contact with Paul directly.

Drinking From the Fountain of Youth

"I have him trying all kinds of new things. And, he really loves the change in his life."

• Chris Barber
  

Drinking From the Fountain of Youth

The four of us met in the driveway and began to walk toward the house. My friend Chris is in the process of purchasing this home to share with his wife Kristin and his father. As we begin to walk I introduce Chris to Chrisanne and Preston; both key members of my team.

Chrisanne begins to ask Chris questions so we can do our work well.

"Tell me about your Father," She says.

"My Father is retiring here," replies Chris.

"He's worked hard his whole life and I'm helping him find a new life."

"He likes to fish and we just got him a new car. He didn't think he'd like it. But, he loves it!"

"He's been living the same life for a long time. I'm introducing him to all kinds of new things."

Chris is much younger than I am, so when he talked about his father living the same life for a long time it made me begin to think. I listened as Chris went on. They were now doing all kinds of things together and I thought what a perfect match they were for each other.

Chris and Kristin are well educated and full of fun. They live an active lifestyle and as far as I can tell, they live life in an all-in-love sort of way. That means they do lots of fun outdoor activities that will keep them happy, fit and active well past my age. It was clear to me that they would add a new and wonderful dimension to his Dad's life.

On the other hand, Chris' Dad's life will be adding a voluminous history and depth of experience to their lives as well. I know that they can't help but benefit from the wisdom of a kind and successful man. Yes. It is a perfect match; the old with the young; the tried and true with the cutting edge.

We continued walking until we got into the entry way of the house. Once inside we all stopped and our eyes couldn't help but focus on the huge floor to ceiling fireplace as it reached toward its peaked escape through the roof. We all listened as Chris painted his vision for the entry way of their new life.

"New life" began to have a new meaning for me as we stood there. I looked over at Preston. I rely on him to do things I can't do. He has exceptional talent. He sees things differently than I do because he's at least twenty years younger. Still, I'd say we're more than just business associates, we're friends as well. Knowing that I can rely on him to fill in my "gaps" makes my life a lot better.

The four of us then walked past the gap between the entry way and the living area of the house. We stand in awe of the vistas that have opened up before us and I realize that new vistas have also opened up in my life. I've begun to see a new resource open to everyone, everywhere.

As I have aged the people that have gone before me have begun to pass from my life as in a dream. Their impact is still with me, it's just that they've gone. I've learned all I can from them now. But, there is opportunity for renewal.

This renewal is in the form of younger generations that are bringing new life and a new vision to all of us. Embrace these new generations so you can become more complete. Allow them to bring the past, present and future into your life.

My mind flashes back to the present moment. The four of us stand in the voluminous living room that will soon become a place of joy and refuge for my friend Chris. I hear the excitement in his voice as he outlines his plans. His youthful exuberance gives me a reason to make some plans for myself.

Youth is not wasted on the young. It's a continuous store from which we may all profit if we will simply seize the opportunity to build new relationships. I invite you to bring new youth into your life by selecting young friends that can give you new views, new hope and a new appreciation for your life. I hope you can soon say that many of your best friends are also your youngest friends.

Youth can be yours again. You simply have to befriend it so you can taste from the fountain of youth every day!

 

Sharing Your Talents

"People are More Important Than Cows"

• Bruce Clegg
  

Sharing Your Talents

If you were to look at my friend Bruce Clegg you would see a tall, stout man. In fact, if someone were to ask me to give them a reference for a man who looks like the perfect cowboy, Bruce would be that guy. The great thing about it is that the reference wouldn't be just for looks. He's been a cow man for most of his life. So, you'd never guess that he spent more than two years teaching a class to small children.

When I was teaching children with him I would marvel at the image. Here was this huge man sitting on a tiny little chair with small kids sitting around him. I thought, "How can a man so big and strong be such a great teacher of the small?"

Yet, here he was teaching with me and making a difference in the lives of lots of children. I know he made a difference because I watched the kids as he spoke with them. I watched the kids as they looked up, with their heads tilted back as far as they could go, just to be able to look up into his eyes.

I also loved to watch the kids walk down the hall with him! It was as if I were watching a giant with his little "ducklings" in tow. The kids would line up behind him and they would walk in a perfect line right down the side of the hall. There was never a peep out of them either. They had perfect behavior. It was a testament of their respect and love for him.

My love and respect also grew for him as our weeks and months of teaching together grew into years. Then he got another assignment and he was not going to be teaching the kids with me anymore. I was sad to see him go. And, I wanted to let him know what a difference he had made so I wrote a poem for him.

The poem was called "Big Man, Big Heart." It expressed my feelings in a way that came from my heart. I talked with one of Bruce's daughters after giving him the poem and she said, "When we read it, we all cried because it described our father so perfectly!"

Not long after that conversation with Bruce's daughter I received a card and a package from Bruce. The card said, "Thank you for sharing your talent with me. I have a talent for raising beef and I wanted to share it with you." The package with the card contained the best beef roast I have ever eaten! I knew he had a talent for raising beef, but I had no idea how much of a talent until he shared it with me.

I think that's the way it is with all of us. We look at people from the outside and can't quite see the whole picture until we get to know them enough to share talents. Every single person has unique and important talents to share with the rest of us. That's what I love about Bruce's quote; the inspiration for today; "People are more important than cows."

Bruce was teaching me about the importance of people one day when he told me about a time when he was working on his ranch. He was having some troubles with a cow giving birth to a calf when he got the call to help a friend in the neighborhood. He was worried about his cow and her calf, but when he hesitated to go help our friend, the thought came into his mind telling him that helping our neighbor in need was more important; so he immediately left his ranch to go and help!

Now whenever I'm not real motivated to reach out and use my personal talents to help other people around me, I get this vision of the tallest and biggest-hearted cowboy I know sitting on the back of a horse looking down at me. I see him sit back in his saddle, tip his hat back so I can see his eyes clearly, and say, "Always remember, people are more important than cows!"

I hope I'll always remember that, it's great to have these talents that are unique to me, but if I'm not sharing them with the people around me then they're not important. Talents alone are not enough! Only by using them to help others around you will you be getting the most out of what you have to give. Only then will you be growing to become the most you can be.

I'll never be as tall or as strong as my friend Bruce. But, I hope I can become the biggest user of my talents to help everyone around me as I can. I hope you'll become a giant talent user as well!