The Significance of Insignificance

“There is Significance in all of the seemingly insignificant around us.”
- Lynn Butterfield

The Significance of Insignificance

Ever since I’ve been working to deepen my gratitude, I‘ve been marveling at an “unintended consequence” I never would have considered otherwise. It’s something that has been hard for me to put a label on until now. Perhaps I can illustrate what I’m learning with a small example.


I live about thirty miles from the center of downtown Salt Lake City and decided to save money by riding the bus to work almost twelve years ago. Since my home is in a rural area, the bus doesn’t come right down my street. If I were to ride the bus and make it to the office by 9:00 a.m., I would need to get up quite early in the morning to account for an additional walk of almost two miles to the bus stop.


On winter mornings this walk can be rather cold, so I would bundle up to make sure I could comfortably walk the distance and also be warm as I waited by the side of the road. I would also need to wear some boots so my feet would stay warm and dry as I walked. It wasn’t too long before I found that the quality of my walk depended a great deal on how comfortable my boots were.


After only a couple of days of walking, I began to pay a large price in pain as my feet sent a clear message telling me that the boots I was wearing were not very good walking shoes. Even as the weather warmed and I didn’t need to wear the boots my feet ached as a result of the blisters that hadn’t yet healed.


One evening as I walked up the road toward my house it seemed as if my feet just couldn’t take any more. I remember thinking to myself, “I don’t think I can make it home.”
Then, I answered myself, “So, what are you going to do, lie down here on the side of the road and die?”


I continued on.


It wasn’t much more than a few more steps, after this battle within my mind took place, when a small car pulled up to my side. It was my friend Danny Idom. He rolled down the front passenger window and cheerfully asked, “Can I give you a ride?” On that day, at that time, Danny looked very much like an angel to me!


You can see what a difference this incidence made in my life because it happened a long time ago. Yet, it’s still powerful in my mind and it feels as if it happened yesterday. Perhaps the most interesting thing about this story is that the most powerful lesson to be learned didn’t even enter my grateful mind until a few months later.


I had an occasion to speak with Danny and express my gratitude by saying, “You know Danny, I never told you how much I really needed a ride home that day when you picked me up. My feet really hurt and I just couldn’t walk anymore.”


To my astonishment Danny couldn’t even remember picking me up that day. He simply said, “You know Lynn, I don’t remember doing that, so it wasn’t a big deal.”


To Danny, his act of kindness was insignificant. To me, Danny’s act of kindness was hugely significant!


There is significance in this discovery! I’ve been observing people and their “insignificant acts,” ever more carefully over the past couple of weeks and have been amazed to see relationships that I never dreamed possible before. This has led me to reach some conclusions about “significance.”


First, it’s impossible to know which of our personal actions are of significance. Since I’m not able to see from another person’s eyes I can’t know exactly what they need at any given time. I can only make assumptions about what they need, what is best for them; and most of the time I’m wrong. This realization alone has been a life changer for me. It has caused me to be much more thoughtful about what I say and do.


Second, the impact of my words and actions go far beyond my intention. I’ve said many things throughout my life and have found that even my smallest words have had unintended negative and positive consequences; unimaginable to me when I said them and even more unimaginable to me when I’ve seen their impact years later.


I received a message from a childhood friend two weeks ago. I haven’t been in contact with him for more than thirty-five years and he thanked me for my actions taken even longer ago than that. Talk about a life changing revelation! My words and actions live forever as far as I can tell. I shudder at the thought of how many things I have inadvertently done to hurt others now as a result of this disclosure!


Third, no one on this planet is insignificant. Every living person is connected in ways I’m unable to comprehend. If you don’t believe this, just take a few minutes to think of some of the serendipitous things that have happened to you over the past week! Really think about it and you’ll see an amazing pattern begin to be revealed.


Finally, knowing what I know now, I can begin to move forward in a way never possible before. I know that by doing what most people think of as insignificant, I’m really acting with purpose to make a difference in lives. You’re doing the same!


As you’re doing so, make sure to produce a significant difference this very day by attending to the most insignificant thing you can do. It will make a lifetime of difference for you and everyone around you if you will. Put the significance of insignificance to work and see an amazing change!


P.S. Jeff’s exclusive "Go BE Productive" training is now available - don't miss out on this *invaluable* experience:

The Bicycle Helmet Principle

“Will you please tell our boys to wear their bicycle helmets?”
- Unknown

The Bicycle Helmet Principle

Years ago while working in my friend’s bicycle store I discovered one of the most powerful principles of my life. I call it the “Bicycle Helmet Principle.” After learning about it, I hope it will become as valuable to you as it is to me!

One day a family walked into the store with their sons and made a bee-line toward me. They walked right up to me and one of the parents said, "Our sons will not wear their helmets while riding their bikes! Will you please tell them to wear their helmets? Maybe they'll listen to you!"

They were very direct and wanted to make a clear point to their sons. I wanted to take a moment to gather myself before I answered them so I walked toward the helmet display thinking about my response the entire way. Never had such a short walk seemed to be so difficult!

When we arrived at the display, I stopped and turned to the anxious parents. "Let me ask you a question.” I said, “When you ride your bikes, do you wear your helmets?"

They stopped, looked incredulously at me and said, "No."

I said, "Then nothing I can say will make a difference."

I’m not sure what they really thought. The conversation stopped short and they turned and left the store. They most likely thought I was rude, but that was not my intention. You may think I really didn’t help the parents; but my objective was to help them far beyond the question they asked. I wanted to help the entire family by shifting their focus just enough to see things from a different perspective. I wanted to show them that none of us can make others do what we are not willing to do ourselves!

That means the answers to my problems are not going to come to me from some expert without my active participation. All of the answers I am seeking will come from within me!

Now that doesn’t mean that I can’t learn from others. I can. I do every day. But, if all I do is let the words run past my ears and not into my heart then nothing anyone will say can make a difference to me.

As my friend, you can tell what I really believe by what I do. My own actions make my life what it is, after others have shared their value with me.

I’ve discovered that shared value in the form of coaching can help everyone. I’ve found that if someone is willing to give me a different perspective and show me a new way, that very small change in how and what I do will pay huge dividends! Sometimes I just need to have a friend see things I’m missing because I’m stuck inside myself and can’t see! It's like holding a page of a book right up to your nose and hoping to be able to read it. It just doesn't work!

By applying the Bicycle Helmet Principle in your life you'll find that simplicity and the seemingly insignificant will change your life forever! I'll show you how! It's not expensive! It's not hard! It's as easy as riding a bike!

You can do that can't you?

Yes?

Then you can do this!

Let's start with training wheels right now!

First, think of one personal relationship that you would like to be better. Just stop right now and visualize that person. Can you see their face? Can you feel their presence? Can you identify that warm feeling you get inside when you're with them and everything is great?

Now, visualize yourself going up to that person and give them a heart-felt compliment. See the reaction in their face. Feel their arms around you as they express their thanks. Feel your heart beating with excitement!

You can have this feeling everyday if you'll just make a commitment to yourself to give this important person one simple and easy compliment every day!

Can it be that easy? Yes!

Are you ready to take the simple and small step of putting your bicycle helmet on? We’ll take the next step together as we explore the significance of the insignificant next week. I’ll also begin to offer you the opportunity to take advantage of some pretty wonderful instruction from some of the leading Gurus of our time.Today is a new day! Are you ready to have your breath taken away by making small changes now so that you can live the life of your dreams?

The Power of Resilience is Within You

“I’ve survived harder things than this.”
- Quinn Heder

The Power of Resilience is Within You

Over the past month or so I’ve been searching through the back corners of my mind for familiar patterns of life. At first it was slow going as I thought of places, events and people that have been tucked away for quite some time.

As I’ve concentrated on this take it has become easier for me. It has been wonderful to remember things long stored away. It’s been an activity of discovery; kind of like searching for pieces of a puzzle that has been sitting in a battered box on the shelf in a closet. As I reached for the box and gently slid it away from its resting place, the dust began to shift and my mind began to stir ever so slightly.

Pulling the box toward me I took in a deep breath and pushed the air back in the direction of the box so as to blow the dust away. I could see the outside of the box in the form of my life and I was encouraged to open it and peer inside. It was then that I beheld the myriad of pieces making up my life’s experience.

What a pleasure it’s been for me to remove each piece and carefully examine it. I’ve found many pieces that have allowed me to make the perfect connections in putting the puzzle together, and the patterns are beginning to be bright, colorful and pleasing.

Through this process it’s become clear to me that talking with friends about different experiences has been very helpful. I love the process of seeing events and people through different eyes. I also love to compare these experiences with current events to see what I can learn from their similarities and differences.

This was the case as I sat talking with my friend Quinn Heder early last week. It was great for us to be able to compare notes and see that we had so much in common. I’m never disappointed with the revelation that I always have more in common with other people than I could ever imagine. It is these common threads that bind us into one human family and really give meaning to our lives.

As Quinn and I talked about some of the personal, health and financial challenges of some of the neighbors we had been visiting earlier in the evening, I was struck by one little statement he made speaking of his own life. “I’ve survived harder things than this!”

Then Quinn looked up at me and flashed his brightest smile. That’s when I knew he was right!
Since then, I’ve been mulling those words over and over again by taking the puzzle pieces of experience and examining them ever so carefully so as to see if I could match my pieces to Quinn’s. Then I thought of other friends of mine, Jim and June Dufford.

One Saturday the Duffords and I talked and talked about how our lives have changed through the years. We spoke of friends, locations, houses, schools and jobs. We talked about good times and hard times. Jim said, “We used to live in a one room cabin in Alaska! If there is one thing I know, it is that we could start all over again and be just fine.”

Our experience, knowledge and connections are of such huge value to us all. I’ve discovered that I live and associate with such amazing people that I can scarcely take it in.

If there’s one thing I can see very clearly through this recent trek of pattern searching, it would be called resilience. I see a wonderful power of recovery within each person I associate with. I see that when I talk with you! I see a person that has been through lots of challenges and has succeeded in a wonderful way. I see a person that has the ability to rely on personal strength, combined with the strength of others, to have everything good life has to offer.

If you doubt this even for a moment please don’t! Just sit down, close your eyes and think of the hardest challenge you’ve faced in your life. Now, take in a deep breath and feel your chest moving and your heart beating. Sit a little taller and say to yourself, “I’ve made it!”

You have made it! You have the ability within yourself to continue to make it every day. The pieces of your puzzle are contained within you. Make sure you take the time to appreciate the overall picture you have and will create in your life. And, as always, take others with you; you can’t imagine how magnificent your puzzle will be when created together with the people you love.

Deepening Gratitude

“Isn’t it amazing that I can sit in comfort with my sons! All I have to do is walk over to the wall and push a button to set the temperature exactly how I want it! After I do that, whoosh! It happens.”
- Danny Marz

Deepening Gratitude

I know lots of people who only want to use a conversation to convince the other party that their point of view is “right.” But, the older I get the more I am appreciating other points of view as a wonderful avenue to inspiration. Now I love to have conversations as a gateway to a new view of the world. That’s exactly what happened as I sat with my friend Danny Marz early last week.
Danny and I were talking with a group of other people about gratitude when he said, “I rarely have a bad day because I spend most of the time being grateful for almost everything. I bet I have only about one or two days per month when I’m not happy and then that unhappiness can’t plague me too long because I see all of the good things all around me.”

As you can imagine, my interest was stimulated by this statement and I was delighted to have him continue on.

“I look at all the amazing things that help me every day; like I take my garbage out to the street every Thursday and someone comes along with a truck and takes it away for me!”

Danny went on to say that he was grateful for the way the garbage was taken away because he only had to take a few minutes to roll the container out to the street and not take all the time and effort to load it up in his car and take it far away to the county facility to recycle or dispose of it! That gives him time to do more things he likes to do such as spend time with his sons watching movies.

As Danny was telling me this, I watched his eyes flash as he taught me more about what I have come to call “deep gratitude.” He went on to say, “Isn’t it amazing that I can sit in comfort with my sons! All I have to do is walk over to the wall and push a button to set the temperature exactly how I want it! After I do that, whoosh! It happens.”

“Then when it’s time get my boys ready to bed, we go to the bathroom and turn a faucet handle so that water will come out at the precise temperature for taking a bath. Now that’s a wonderful thing!”

Danny looked me right in the eye and said, “How can you have a bad day when all of these wonderful things are all around us?”

How indeed!

I’ve spent the last seven days reflecting on what Danny has taught me. I have to admit I thought I had already turned myself into a grateful person. And, I have. But, for the first time I can see how far I have to grow when it comes to being truly, deeply grateful. So, I’ve created a simple formula to help myself. I offer it to you:

1. Be disciplined. This has taken a new kind of discipline for me. I am already pretty good about disciplining myself to wake up at 5:30 in the morning and spending an hour in exercise and meditation. (Don’t think I have the perfect body or anything!) This one hour in the morning, my friend Garrett Gunderson calls it the “Power Hour,” sets the stage for the rest of my day and it really makes a difference for me. Now I’m going to a deeper, smaller, level during this time period. Now I meditate on the smallest thing possible to be grateful for and then I concentrate on seeing it during the whole day. I’ve found my mind wandering away regularly but I am getting better at pulling my focus back to the small. I think you’ll have the same experience in disciplining your mind, but don’t worry; you’ll get better at it the more you practice.

2. Don’t let big things get in your way. The trick here is to know that what you have been focusing on in the past is HUGE in comparison to the smallest thing you can think of to be grateful for. It will seem counterintuitive that the small will dwarf the large in importance! But, as you get better and better with your focus, but the small will conquer the large if you’ll stay the course.

3. Practice hard. I wasn’t used to thinking of small things deeply! As I look back over my life I can see that for the most part, I’ve been socialized to think in large terms over long periods of time. You know, “life goals?” Stepping back and seeing the small right now takes a lot of practice and I’m sure it will take me a long time and lots of practice to make it a way of life.

4. Learn to pick yourself up when the large crushes on your mind. I know that Danny is to the point where he only has a “bad” day once or twice in a month. As you can see from the conversation we had, he has learned to be grateful for the small almost constantly. When larger things come into his view he is able to make a shift in his mind to instantly make the small loom large in his life! You can do the same thing. I know you can, because if I can do it you can too.

5. Take care of yourself. I’ve found that the most constant challenge in focusing on gratitude for the smallest is related to how my body is feeling. If I allow myself to become fatigued by not getting enough sleep then it gets harder and harder for me to stay small. If you need 8 hours of sleep, part of your transformation will be to take care of yourself so you can have the internal fortitude to keep your mental condition conducive to the mental and emotional effort required. It takes big effort to focus on the small!

If you’ll follow these steps for a week you’ll notice an incredible change in your life. These are the changes I’ve noticed: First, I was able to turn inside myself and remain amazingly calm during one of the most challenging transactions of my life. Rather than feel my stomach churning with anxiety, my focus on gratitude for the small really allowed me to stay calm in the midst of emotional chaos being hurled from other people. Second, what had become “normal anxiety” related to everyday living has now vanished. Third, I’ve felt a renewed excitement and confidence about the bright future coming my way.

As you implement these five steps, you’ll have the same results or better! I would be excited to hear about your results so let me know how being grateful for the smallest is changing your life!

Choosing Wealth

“You have to decide whether you want to pursue power or money.”
- J.K. Morrison

Choosing Wealth

When I had completed the requirements of my graduate degree I had the opportunity to have an exit interview with the chairman of my committee, J.K. Morrison. It was a chance for us to sit in an informal setting to talk about the work we had done together. This was a momentous occasion for me since Dr. Morrison was a Fulbright Scholar and I had tremendous respect for him.

He had required me to work beyond what I thought myself capable of. He had taught me the value of hard work and had shown me the importance of perseverance. During our first year together he called me into his office and said, “Up to now you have relied upon your talent. That’s not going to be enough anymore. I’m going to make sure you’re stretched to your limit. You’re going to have to work hard now.”

Little did I know then what was in store for me. The class work was difficult and demanding, but the work to complete my thesis was overwhelming! There were many times I wanted to quit, but something kept me working. Once, during a family dinner, my wife’s aunt asked me how long my thesis was and I replied, “Five years!”

Dr. Morrison said, “I don’t know when I knew you’d finish, but I knew you would. Out of the thirty-two graduate students whose committee I’ve chaired you’re one of three that finished their thesis.”

Believe me, I wish I had known that before I asked him to be the chair of my committee! And, it was only when I turned my thesis in to the Thesis Editing Office that I truly understood what my work meant.

I asked the person who logged my submission in how long it would take for them to review my thesis for approval. She looked at my paper work and said, “You wrote under the direction of Dr. Morrison?”

“Yes,” said I.

She then pulled out her stamp. She then stamped the form and said, “We don’t need to do a review, you’re done!”

It was then that I knew that I had completed something of quality and worth. It wasn’t even the document that mattered. It isn’t the document that matters now, these many years later. It is the experience that has mattered to me the whole time.

What Dr. Morrison had done was give me an invaluable experience to help me with the rest of my life! He taught me a great deal. But, perhaps the most important lesson he taught me took place in that last interview.

At the end of the interview he said, “Now you have a decision to make. You have to decide whether you want to pursue power or money. But whatever you choose I want you to keep one thing in mind. I have a friend who is the former CEO of a Fortune 500 company. We met for dinner one night to go through some details related to a project I had just completed for him. At the end of the dinner he asked me to come to his home and spend the rest of the evening with him. I told him I had other obligations. He then asked me to do him a personal favor and come.”

“When we got to his palatial home it was empty!” It wasn’t empty of material things. It was empty of family!” Dr. Morrison went on to explain to me that in this man’s efforts to obtain “everything the world had to offer” he had lost what was most valuable; his family.”

I have never forgotten that poignant talk with my mentor and teacher in a small room at the University of Utah. I have never forgotten that last and most valuable lesson he taught me.
Now I have children of my own to whom I’ve tried to teach this lesson. So far, they keep coming back home so I guess I’ve succeed to a point. The coming generation will truly tell the tale.
So, now you know that I was given a choice to make in that last interview and you’re most likely asking yourself, “I wonder what choice he made.”

Well, I made a very conscious choice to pursue wealth. Ah, those of you that know me quite well may say, his wealth isn’t too impressive yet! And, if you were to look at my balance sheet you’d have to conclude that I’m not anywhere near to the list of the wealthiest people in the world. But, I made my choice and I am wealthy indeed!

When I go home at night after a long day of toil, I go home to a house full of people and animals that love me! So, I truly did learn a great deal from Dr. Morrison. I learned that if person has persistence and works hard at building and maintaining relationships they will live a life full of the greatest kind of wealth.

There’s plenty of this kind of wealth to go around! I consider you as a part of my wealth too. Let’s keep building relationships that will give love and fulfillment to everyone we have the chance to offer it to!