Heart Donors

“A man in a wheel chair downed in a cold, snowy December street.”

Heart Donors

The cars in front of me were stopped.  The traffic signal was green.  It was rush hour so cars were backing up rapidly.  Everyone was in a hurry to surge forward, but there was a strange and unexplained patience permeating the whole scene.

I looked at the intersection just in front of me so I could take in the whole picture.  The cars in front of me were empty.  I couldn’t see anyone or any accident holding back the thousands of horsepower chomping at the bit.  But everything was quiet.

I was sitting in the middle of one of the busiest intersections in the city and for some insane moment, traffic wasn’t moving.  There were no horns blasting in an attempt to crash the obstacle in front of me away.  It was an out of character moment for today’s auto racing lifestyle.

After all, this road was built for speed in a never-ending race.  There were five lanes of traffic headed in one direction, East; toward different destinations.  But, all of that was on hold for now.  It was as if someone was waiving a yellow caution flag and every driver could see and obey it.  Yet, I could see no flag or any other sign to cause such a truce.

Then, out of the corner of my left eye I saw some heads pop up over the cars at the edge of the road.  There were four people bobbing up and down with careful concentration.  I observed.  They lifted.  And then, after up righting an unknown man in a motorized wheel chair, they topped his head with a warm winter hat.

With his position corrected and his course reset, he motored across the starting line to which I was attached.  All while the helping hands and legs rushed to their disparate corners of the intersection with smiles gleaming from their faces. 

As soon as the wheeled chair reached the opposite sidewalk I could almost hear several sets of seatbelts click in unison.  The traffic light turned green.  And, we were off!  The race was back on.

But, while it was off, not one horn sounded. No vulgar gestures were exchanged.  Drivers, for one moment in time, remembered that they weren’t just in a race; they were part of the human race.

I drove away toward my meeting while filing this act of generosity and kindness into the library shelves of my heart.  Heart!  I thought.  Wasn’t it amazing to see heart donors in motion?  They stopped the mad race, lifted a man in need and reaffirmed my belief that when we act as if we’re part of the human race we all come out a winner.

A Sick Tool

“Our illnesses are a special gift.  They allow us to have an extraordinary view into our mortality.”  - Wickham Gubler

A Sick Tool

A few weeks ago I saw my friend Wick and I recognized something new.  I wish I could say I didn’t know what the bubbling skin around his eyes and nose was.  But I did.  I knew the bubbling skin was a result of a medical procedure to remove diseased tissue.

What I didn’t know was the exact illness Wick now had or what his personal thoughts about it were.  After all, people react to life threatening illness in their own way, but there are also common reactions that almost everyone has when coming to grips with such illness.

Wick, two other friends and I were meeting together talking about this very thing; the impact of illness and other kinds of personal challenges.  One of these friends has struggled with heart disease and diabetes for almost all of his adult life and on this particular day he was exceptionally careworn and was expressing his frustration.

Upon hearing his distress, though Wick’s illness is newly manifested it has already changed him enough that he encouraged our burdened friend by saying, “Our illnesses are a special gift.  They allow us to have an extraordinary view into our mortality.”

“Tell me more.” I entreated.

“It has allowed me to think back on all of the really wonderful experiences I’ve had during my life.  I appreciate them more than ever before now.  They’ve motivated me to defeat this disease and opened the door to a future of giving and receiving exceptional love.”  He imparted.

I turned his words over and over again in my mind comparing them to my familiarity with two other friends and wondered why it usually takes experienced contrast to motivate people to make dramatic change.  Even though I’ve spent hours and hours pondering this question I still can’t explain it.  But, I know its true.

My friend, John McDougall, a physician in Santa Rosa and author of the McDougall Plan, confirmed this concept of essential contrast when he told me that in most cases it takes severe illness to motivate people to want to change enough to live a healthier life.  In his personal case, a stroke at a young age revealed his future as a healer and change motivator.

The same kind of thing happened to my friend Glenn Earl.  He became ill and faced many health challenges as a young man.  But, his illness didn’t stop him.  It ushered in an opportunity for him to have a unique viewpoint related to medicine and holistic healing and he developed unique skills that have allowed him to heal others for the past thirty years.

In these cases, just like in Wick’s, illness and personal challenge was a gateway to a brighter future, not a death sentence.  It makes one wonder, doesn’t it?  It makes me wonder if perhaps you and I have been looking at the world, and the way its reality contrasts with our preconceived view of a fulfilling life, in a less productive way.  Our illnesses and challenges don’t have to be obstacles.  They can be openings to a future we could never have imagined without their unwelcomed presence.

The Baby Lady's Hero

“An airline pilot at LAX.”

The Baby Lady’s Hero

There were masses people sitting and standing all around me at the gate for my upcoming flight out of LAX.  But there was only one who captured my attention.  She pushed a baby in a stroller up to the counter and began talking with the gate agents there.  I couldn’t hear every word that was exchanged but I got the gist of what she was saying.

She had come over from another terminal and airline because they couldn’t accommodate her even though she had a ticket.  The other airline told her they had made arrangements for her to use her existing ticket on this new airline.  I watched and listened as she explained her situation.  The answer given to her was something like, “This flight is quite full and we don’t know if we’ll have space for you.”

The would-be passenger suddenly had a fallen countenance, turned her stroller around and walked out of the loading area.  I said to myself, “Well, that’s that.  She won’t get on.”  I put my head back down and worked silently on my computer.

As I glanced up from the screen I noticed the lady and her baby come back to the gate area and walk up to speak to the gate agents again.  Nothing had changed in the demeanor of the agents.  Once again the “Baby Lady” turned to walk away.  This time I could see her fighting back tears.

She was exhausted and becoming desperate.  I could tell because her emotions began to stream out of her eyes and she sat across from me, pulled out her phone and began to talk to someone.  She was in full tears as she began to talk.  It pulled the strings of my heart!  I didn’t know what to do to help her.

A few minutes later she was back at the boarding desk speaking with the gate agents.  Her tears flowed freely.  She stood pleading for help.

As she pled, as luck would have it, the pilots for our flight walked up.  Our flight had been delayed so they were hanging around, hovering for any information that could become available.  This unusual presence is the only reason one of the pilots caught wind of what the Baby Lady’s situation was.

She had once again finished an unsuccessful talk with the gate agents, so the pilot pulled her aside and asked her what was wrong.  She sobbed her story to him and he put his arm around her and walked her back to the desk.

“I think we can take care of her, don’t you think?” He boldly proclaimed to the agents there.

They looked up at him in surprise and their fingers began to fly over their keyboards.  A look of panic began to become a shadow hanging over their faces.  The pilot then looked at them very seriously as he spoke to the Baby Lady.

“I’ve got to get on the plane now, but I hope to see you on my plane!”

Boarding was now beginning.  The gate agents summoned the Baby Lady and gave her priority boarding!  My heart was satisfied and filled with wonder.

In a few minutes I found my own seat on the jet.  It was well behind the Baby Lady, but I could see her.  I watched as her pilot hero walked from his cockpit back to her seat and he gave her a cheery welcome aboard.  His smile lighted the whole cabin!

I sat back in my seat and cherished the moment.  I’ve flown millions of miles, seen thousands of pilots, been through hundreds of airports, fled countries deep in the throws of war three times, but through it all, I’ve only had the pleasure of flying under the care of a real hero, the Baby Lady’s Hero, once!

African Prepay

“It always pays to be nice to people”

-Keith Merrill

African Prepay

“When we were living in Africa we made it a practice to give to the beggars we would see near our home.” Keith explained to me.

We were sitting in his living room sharing stories.  I hadn’t seen Keith or his wife Diane for more than twenty years.  This rainy, cool Saturday was the perfect opportunity for us to spend time inside and catch up.  I was wrapped in the warmth of our relationship while being enthralled by the current story.

“The people there would have to work a full twelve-hour day to make one dollar so our gift of a quarter was a large gift.  When we gave the first coin we noticed that the man we gave it to immediately crossed the street and shared it with another man who was unable to walk due to his childhood bout with polio. We were surprised at the way they shared with each other.” Keith explained.

Over time, the Merrills became friends and neighbors with these men.  They would talk together when they were walking the neighborhood.  When they drove their car they would wave and give each other broad smiles.  On one such day there was a BMW at the stop sign in front of them and as it began to pull forward Keith also began to proceed.  As he did so he looked up and waived to his friends wishing them a happy day. But before he could lower his waiving arm, his car came to an abrupt stop.  He had run into the care in front of him.

The man driving the other car jumped out and began to yell.  He was angry and his temper was broiling. 

Keith and Diane stood listening to the impossible to understand words streaming from the mouth in front of them.  It was a difficult situation.  They had fears of violence because of similar storied they had become acquainted with.  Things were escalating and then, without notice, they heard a familiar voice to their side.

Their neighbors had rushed over to their aid! They spoke to their countryman, translated and reassured.  Then, as quickly as the situation had developed, it was over.  The other drive abruptly turned, got into his car and sped away! 

“We were stunned!  Our friends then explained that they had seen the whole thing. ‘We saw what he did.  We told him we knew he had done it on purpose in an attempt to extort money.’ They said.”

Then in his characteristic way Keith looked directly in my eyes and said, “It always pays to be nice to people!”

Black Killer Fog

Supposed Failure

Black Killer Fog

I’ve been spending the last five years working to reach one particular goal.  I wouldn’t have set the goal if I didn’t think I could reach it, so I “left it all on the table” and worked with my head down to reach it by the end of this year.  Earlier this month I was filled with peace and accomplishment knowing that I had made it.  Well, I thought I had reached it.

Five days ago I received a bit of bad news that looked as it would be a bump in the road that turned into a clear stop.  “It’s alright.” I said to myself.  “I’ll just go another way and still reach my goal.”

Then, by the end of the day another huge block showed up and I was devastated to realize that even with all my work, visualization and self control there was no way I was going to be able to reach my goal by the end of this year.  As a result, a feeling of disappointment crept through my chest like a black killer fog.   It filled me with such despair that I began to be absorbed by deep sadness.  I could see no way out.

I don’t know about you, but when I get into that kind of situation my mind begins to run like a wild horse toward a belief that the worse thing that could possibly happen will shortly happen.  And, I was careening down this path until I had one small thought.

“So, what if the worst happened?”

It was at that moment that the whole world changed before my eyes!

“You’re right!” I said to myself.  “You didn’t reach your goal, but look what you’ve accomplished by working so hard to hit the mark!  Nothing can take that away from you!”

In once instant, my despair was replaced with gratitude for all I’d accomplished.  But, something more life changing also happened.

I noticed that the habits I’d cultivated while working toward the goal remained!  You see, I had developed a habit of keeping my eye fixed on completing certain milestones each week and even though I didn’t reach my big goal I found my mind still focused on hitting my weekly objective.  It just kind of “clicked” in without any effort on my part.  It was so automatic that it startled me!

This astonishment itself was enough to remove my sadness.  I had trained myself to have attributes of success without knowing it!  Now I know that I’ll reach my goal as a simple byproduct of habit!  It won’t be this month, but it will happen because I’ve become something more than I was before I began.

When I began the goal setting process I thought I wanted to reach some stopping point.  Now I know that reaching a stopping point isn’t what’s important.  Becoming a certain kind of person is what’s really important.

I first learned about this type of living when, by chance, I walked into a museum presentation regarding the life of George Washington.  The exhibit taught me that his life was focused on developing personal attributes.  But the discovery that it was this process that made him the greatest American didn’t happen for me until this week.

You and I can only discover our own greatness by applying this principle on a daily basis.  Take a minute to think of the habits that make you who you are today.  Then add a new habit on a regular basis and see who you can become.

A Winning Combination

The Induction of Michelle (Shelly) Raynes into the Special Olympics Utah Hall of Fame.

A Winning Combination

The lights were bright and the environment was elegant when Shelly Raynes was being inducted into the Utah Special Olympics Hall of Fame.  I was sitting at a large round table with old and new friends in the ballroom of a hotel in downtown Salt Lake City where we shared a nice view of the podium from our seats.

I also had another view that I most likely would not have noticed were it not for the boisterous nature of the people sitting at one table in particular.  Yes, it was the exuberant cheering from that table that caught my attention, but that was not what kept my gaze fixed there for almost the entire time Shelly was on the stage.

When I say my gaze, perhaps it is almost more accurate to call it contemplation.  I was listening to the induction while carefully studying the people just a couple of tables away.

“Shelly grew up in a large family which she refers to as ‘the Ten Red Heads.’”

When these words entered my ears I looked ever more carefully and confirmed that there were many red headed people sitting at that particular table.  It was becoming obvious to me that these were more than just Shelly’s fans.  They were steadfast and devoted fans.

A steadfast fan could also be called unwavering and at one point during the presentation I watched one of the red headed women stand tall at her seat. Her hands were clasped together near her heart and her eyes were fixed at the proceeding.  She looked on with misty eyes filled with joy, an icon of steady and firm purpose.  She was there to celebrate her sister’s success.

It is not my intent here to diminish Shelly’s success in any way, but her real success reaches far beyond the athletic fields and courts.  It is rooted in personal relationships that have been tested by time and cemented by sacrifice and service.  Her victories, though impressive, would be less sweet and possibly hollow without being able to share them with her family, friends and community.

After all, it is the personal process of striving in combination with others that allows a person to become more than they could ever become on their own.  I believed that to be true before I had children.  But, it was the process of sacrificing my own comfort, time and energies for the benefit of my children before I knew this to be true.  Shelly’s sister knows it too.  I recognized the look in her eyes and on her face as one who has been refined by this process.

So for me, the induction process was not completed until Shelly walked off the podium and into the waiting arms of those who share her love and victory.  They have truly discovered the secret of winning through combination.

Taming the New Frontier

“My father grew up in Alaska and the conditions were so harsh there that if you didn’t help others they would die.” – Marv Shafer

Taming the New Frontier

There was a knock at our door the other day.  Our dog was going crazy.  When she does that it’s always a warning to us that something is wrong, so my daughter went to the door with a great deal of care.  Our dog was with her the whole time.  She was making a huge ruckus.

The fur down the middle of her back stood straight up and ran the full length of her body.  It was just one more sign that things were unsettling to her.  Our dog knew the people who were standing outside our door shouldn’t be there.  My daughter was on guard so she opened the door slightly, only enough to let her have an unrevealing conversation with the person on the other side.

“Can we come in and use your bathroom?” The stranger inquired.

“No!”

“Why not?” Came the reply.

“I don’t know you!”

“Are your parents home?” The visitor queried.

My daughter closed the door.  These people were too pushy and asked too many questions.  She locked the door.  Our dog watched to make sure the strangers left.  When they got out of sight she let down her guard, but she stayed with my daughter to maintain her safety.

When my daughter and dog entered the room where my wife and I were sitting we talked a little about this occurrence.  We are all a little nervous these days because there have been a number of burglaries in our neighborhood as of late.  Neighbors are actively watching out for their neighbors.

That part of the story is good.  I’ve always taught my children that we’ve been sent into the world to do good to others and that in doing good we do good to ourselves.  And, now that they’re grown I tell them that I still believe this to be true and that we should always keep it in view.  We should be upright, just and merciful and always exercise intentions of nobility.  I’ve communicated my commitment to cultivate a spirit of charity and to always be ready to do for others more than they would expect from others if circumstances were reversed.

But, in a certain way, it’s as if we’ve all moved to Alaska and the conditions are indeed, very harsh; there are predators everywhere.  So when my friend Marv was telling me about this frontier code his father lived by I took it to heart and wondered how I could continue to live up to the ideal such pioneers practiced. 

When the good people of the frontier lived in uncivilized circumstances they were always careful to protect themselves and their loved ones.  They did so with honor, while not forgetting that they held their core values sacred.  In short, they protected and they gave.  They built communities in the wilderness while sharing with and encouraging their neighbors.  It is an example we can still follow today.

There is so much good we can do in today’s world.  We should be ambitious in our quest to bring civilization back into our communities.  There are lots of great people to work with; you don’t have to do it alone.  Find a cause that puts a fire in your belly and then give it your all.  You’ll be the better for it and we’ll all benefit from your goodness.

There was a time when I thought Alaska was the new frontier.  Now I look out my front door and see frontier all around me.  The conditions are so harsh that others will die if we don’t help them.

Are You Driving From The Back Seat?

“Who’s driving you into the future?”

-Sharla Ellis

Are You Driving From the Back Seat?

Many years ago I was an intern at a local radio station.  In those days, local stations had their own internal departments; news, sports, advertising, music and public service.  It was an exciting place to be.

One of the reasons it was such an exciting place to be is that it was a hub of information gathering and distribution.  If there was information about a big game for the local university or breaking news it was all flowing into that small building. And, once we began to focus on a story, the amount of incoming information quickly increased.  It was a lot like being constantly plugged in to an energizing electrical outlet.  I found it to be an enlightening and invigorating environment.  But, it also had potential to become a trap with the ability to keep me from doing my job.

My job at the station was to create a cooperative advertising program.  I was tasked with creating partnerships between local businesses and product manufacturers.  These partnerships had the possibility of increasing profitability, not only for the radio station, but also for many local businesses. 

But, opportunity was hidden from plain view.  It took lots of research to ferret out good partnerships and it was painstaking work.  It had none of the glamour or excitement of breaking news or sports!  It also required self-discipline to pay attention and do the necessary, everyday tasks that were required to create success.

I soon found that my job did not drive itself toward success and that it was easier to let the exciting parts of the station drive and keep me entertained with an illusion of being in the center of it all.  It was a lot like jumping into the back seat of a car and going wherever the day’s hired driver wanted to take me.

When I finally figured out that I was in the clutches of a trap it was too late.  I had allowed joy riding in the back seat to transport me away from successfully completing my work.  My internship was over and I never did create a successful cooperative advertising program.  I had started with a purpose and never fulfilled it.

My friend Sharla was teaching me about living with purpose this week when she asked, “Who’s driving you into the future?”  And, “Are you trying to drive from the back seat?”

As soon as she made those statements my mind immediately went back to the radio station and my experience there.  That’s when I knew I had to share this story with you.  It ‘s so easy to get into the habit of sitting in the back seat of life by letting others, as well as sought after distractions, drive us into a future we may not want.  I watch it often.

I observe many who are consumed by the newest television shows, cutting edge music, sporting events and other distractions.  At the end of the day their time has been consumed and their envisioned future fades.  But, you and I don’t have to live that way.

Simply being aware of this danger will help us consciously open the driver’s door by determining what it is we want out of life and then blocking a small amount of time each day to drive a little further down our chosen path.  Yes, it takes discipline to do so, but when I look at successful people like Sharla it encourages me.

The stature of such people and their amazing accomplishments show all of us that it can be done.  In fact, Sharla shrugs off her success by saying, “Hey, I didn’t know any better!  I just went out and did what I was told I had to do to be successful!”

So, let’s follow her example and shrug off our own life traps and then live by the advice of one of my favorite bumper stickers, “Get in, shut up, and drive!”