“I’m going to tell you a story about when I was a kid. When I was about 12, I got a job with a local farmer at Foster’s Farm picking strawberries.” – Chris Leader

Pick to the Stick

“Focus on what you can change and you’ll be able to survive anything!”  Chris said with enthusiasm and encouragement in his voice, right before he sprang into his strawberry fields story.

My friend, Chris Leader was twelve-years-old when he got a job picking strawberries at Foster’s Farm, near his home in Barrie, Ontario.  He started this tale by saying, “Berry picking is an incredibly difficult job for anyone, especially for someone of that age.” 

“There were a whole bunch of us.”  Chris explained. “We were all between twelve and thirteen years of age.  Except for our crew chief, who was fifteen.”

In preparation for the day’s work, “Old-Man-Foster” called all of the kids over and said, “You’re going to pick this whole field today.”

That’s when Chris looked out over the vast field and scoffed inside of himself, “There is no way we can do all of this today!”  He was immediately overwhelming!  

Other than, possibly, the lyrics “strawberry fields forever!” from the Beetles song, “Strawberry Fields.”  I don’t know what else was in Chris’ mind at that moment.  But you and I can understand his feelings, because we’ve all been in a similar position, at one time or another, in totally-overwhelmed-mode.  You know what I mean; that feeling of a giant vice squeezing your entire chest cavity, into hollowness.

My friend Jamie Johnson described the horrible sensation that can accompany such a mental state.  “I thought I was having a literal heart attack and went to see my doctor immediately!”  She recounted about one time when she was feeling overwhelmed.  “Luckily he was kind and took the time to explain that it was a panic attack.  Then, he taught me how to make some small changes so I could feel better; more in control again.”

Chris also received astonishing help at the very moment he needed it, right after Mr. Foster sauntered away. His young wise-beyond-his-years crew chief unveiled a plan!

“He gathered us all up and said, ‘Forget about what old man Foster said!’  Here’s what we’re going to do.  We’re going to pick to the stick.”  He announced after calling all of the teenaged field hands over, so they would gather around him.

“Pick to the Stick? What’s that?” Chris asked.

While still in coaching mode, the field chief picked up a stick and then he arranged all the kids in a line saying, “I’m going to throw this stick and all we’re going to do is get to the stick.  Once we get there, we’re going to reassess it.”

Next, he threw the stick out into the field.  

“Then we picked to the stick over the next 30-40 minutes.”  Chris explained, “And, when we got to the stick, he picked up the stick and said, ‘ok everybody, heads up’ and he threw the stick back out into the field again while saying, all we’re going to do for the next little while is pick to the stick, pick to the stick, pick to the stick. This went on all day.”

At this point of the story, Chris had a knowing grin on his face and said, “And by the time we were finished, at about 5:00 p.m., which was a long day, we looked back and we had picked the entire field!”

Then Chris stopped speaking for just a beat, or two, before saying. “The point I’m trying to make is this.  Don’t be overwhelmed by what you have got to get done.  Be that wise-beyond-his-years, fifteen-year-old.  Be your own crew chief!  Make a step-by-step plan.  Then, line up your actionable items in logical sequence, one step at a time.  That’s how we do this! One step at a time, one step at a time!”

At this point of the story, I was continually hearing the Beatles in my head, “strawberry fields forever,” while still paying close attention to Chris. 

“So,” Chris was moving toward a crescendo, “Remember what it means to ‘pick to the stick.’  What does that mean?  You’ve got your actionable items you’ve got to do.  All you’re going to do is, don’t worry about tomorrow or the weekend.  All you’ve got to do today is what you promised yourself.  Then, we hit the reset button and do it again.  And then what do we do?  We do it again tomorrow, and then again and again.  And then, by the end of the week you will have done so much more than what you did last week.  At the end of the month you’ll have gotten so much done.  And the end of the quarter and so on until the end of the year!”

Conclusively, in climax, Chris sang out, “So how do we do this?  We pick to the stick!  I hope that sticks to you guys!”

Focus on what you can change and you’ll be able to survive anything!

Pin Your Tale on the Donkey

“I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Pin Your Tale on the Donkey

“Will you please take my photo with the burro?”  I asked my friend Bob Bemis as we walked together, while enjoying a welcome reception for the conference we were attending.  “I want to keep it around so I can remember the power of being sure-footed and stubborn.”  Burros are possibly most famous for their inherent stubborn streak.

Some people are known for their stubborn natures as well.  It’s a quality that’s not always viewed as positive.  Yet, there are positive traits, I can think of, which are considered its derivatives.  These attributes include tenacity, persistence and perseverance.  

Imaginably Michael Jordan was thinking of these very characteristics, and the burro, when he said, “I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”

Failing is hard.  But, if you and I can visualize a small, sure-footed, persistent burro while experiencing trying times, perhaps we’ll be encouraged to follow her example and enjoy speedier success, while suffering less emotional turmoil.   Emulating positive traits of the burro, and making them part of our personal tale, can help all of us tap in to the core of what we are made to do; learn from our mistakes and feel the joy of personal growth.

Tale-of-the-donkey one.  Take the time to notice how your failures have changed you for the better.  While walking a rocky path, a burro pays close attention to the details of the trail.  They keep their head and eyes focused on the route at all times.  This allows them to notice every detail, every obstacle they are facing, no matter how small or large.  They have an amazing ability to remember the particulars of the path so they’ll be prepared to make adjustments as they progress.  If you and I will do the same, we’ll be able to use the power of recollection to aid us in the remembrance of who we once were, and how experience has made us wiser and stronger.

Tale-of-the-donkey two.  Allow your experience to assist you in establishing a greater belief in your ability to adapt. A seasoned burro knows she can count on her steady legs and hoofs to serve her over and over again, through difficult circumstances, because she’s gained confidence in her ability as a result of successfully traversing hard trails.  You and I can do the same.  Hold your failures in their rightful place, as experiences leading you closer and closer toward realizing your true potential.

Tale-of-the-donkey three.  Track all of your successes back to your failures, or as your mother and father said, “Remember where you came from and who you are.”  Burros know they’re burros.  So, they always act like burros.  As humans, we sometimes forget to remember the example of those who paved our way and brought us into the world.  Neither you, nor I would be alive today, enjoying a quality of life unmatched in all of history, had others not overcome many failures on their way toward growing success.  

No. Our ancestors were not perfect.  Yes. They failed over and over again.  And, look at the amazing word we’ve inherited from them!  We’re all human!  We’ll fail and we’ll ultimately succeed in becoming better than we were yesterday, because that’s what humans do.  History is a testimony of how people have stubbornly grown personally and collectively, often with a burro by their side.

“Will you please take my photo with the burro?”  I asked my friend Bob as we walked together, while enjoying a welcome reception for the conference we were attending.  “I want to keep it around so I can remember the power of being sure-footed and stubborn.”  Burros are possibly most famous for their inherent stubborn streak and I wanted to keep a visual reminder. 

An aide-mémoire to pin my tale on the donkey.

“His pull on the leash was strong.  So strong, that I could feel something extra, a tug up my arm and into my heart.  It caused me to think of something previously unthought of.”

Too Much Your Own

It was a bright, somewhat cool, and breezy Sunday morning.  I was out with Harry Pupper, walking one of our regular routes across rolling hills, around flowing streams, over grass and through mature trees.  He was exhilarated, darting from side to side, from one edge of the path to the other, happily zipping with his nose to the grass, tugging.  His pull on the leash was strong.  So strong, that I could feel something extra, a tug up my arm and into my heart.  It caused me to think of something previously unthought of.

As soon as the forbidden thought crossed my mind I looked around.  There was not one person in sight.  So, I bent over, asked him to come to me, and released the leash from his harness.  He flew off!

I watched as the speed in his legs allowed him to float across the ground.  The speed of his zigs and zags increased as he ran free.  He was smiling!

I was also smiling.  His frolic was joyous to behold.  It seemed as if we were more deeply connected.  With all his running, with all his new-found freedom, he was still watching me.  So, I tested our connection.

Harry ran to the right, just up a little rise.  I walked to the left, listening.  Expecting.

Within a couple of seconds, I heard him coming toward me like a freight train!  I laughed out loud as he ran in huge circles around me; as if he had herded me into his control.  Then, he stopped.  He was tired.  His tongue lolled outside of his open, panting mouth and I asked him to come to me.

I connected his leash back to his harness and thought of Oliver Burkeman’s words, “You can grasp the truth that power over your time isn’t something best horded entirely for yourself: that your time can be too much your own.”

Our time is meant to be shared with the others around us.  Not just our time, but our talents and gifts as well.  Yet, the sharing of all three, by letting ourselves be free from our own self-connected leashes, can introduce us to some of our most frightening moments.  My friend Aubrey Patterson confessed this very thing to me earlier in the week while having dinner with her husband Aaron and me.

“One of the scariest things I’ve ever done was to run for city council!  But, I wanted to get to give more to the people of our city and learn from those we live with.  I’m more than just a professional teacher.  I’m a learner as well and I’m just taking one step after another, in faith.” She said as we discussed her current campaign for the state legislature.  Then, her husband Aaron followed her comments with his own words.

“I thought of her life long experience and education.  It allowed me to see that she has been preparing for this her whole life!”

“Your time isn’t something best horded entirely for yourself: that your time can be too much your own.” Oliver Burkeman’s words echoed in my mind again.  

Perhaps you and I have also been prepared, through our life’s long experience and education, to connect more deeply to others as well, by offering our time, talents and gifts freely, unfettered by the binding leash of our own fear of the unknown.  If so, we may also desire to follow the example of the short-legged dog, Harry Pupper.

Once, the forbidden thought of releasing the latch of Harry’s leash crossed my mind and I released the clasp from his harness.  He flew!

I witnessed the speed of his legs allow him to fly across the ground.  The quickness of his zigs and zags increased as he ran free.  He was smiling!  We were smiling.  His frolic was joyous to behold.  And, we became more deeply connected than ever before.  

Such freedom, joy and connection with others can only be experienced when we allow ourselves to take one step at a time, in faith, away from the leash holding us to fear.

Sometimes, we can be too much our own.

“It is a mistake to look too far ahead.  Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”  - Winston Churchill

The Chain of Destiny

“I have a son here.” – Derald Anderson said.

“Our grandkids are here.” Alicia Short agreed.

Both have a reason, a link, a plan for today and tomorrow.

Planning for the future is important.  That’s for sure.  When planning for the future, people often concentrate their efforts on what they want to accomplish in their work, or what they want to be able to purchase.  It is focused on self.  Yet, Derald and Alicia laid bare another kind of planning for the future related to humankind's greatest asset.  The human asset.

People are the creators of value.  After all, without people there would be no one to manufacture goods for.  No one to create art for.  No one to appreciate natural beauty.  Perhaps that why most people live in a congregated environment, assembling themselves in cities, large and small.  Such amalgamation is the most efficient way to personally benefit from the unique individual skills offered by other people.

It’s also a showcase of hopes and dreams.  A place where a person can frequently observe new, personally unthought of, potential futures just by watching what other people have or are already doing.  It all works together to allow all participants to conjure new mental pathways for dreaming the way into a better personal future.  Yet, Derald and Alicia are participating in a different kind of planning for the future.

They have decided to consciously forego many of the more alluring benefits offered by a solely unipersonal form of planning.  They have discovered the power of living now, in what Winston Churchill called ‘the chain of destiny.”  They’ve discovered the power of Multigenerational Link Strengthening.

Multigenerational Link Strengthening is planning for the future, beyond the unipersonal.  And, it requires the mastery of at least four critical interlocking qualities to succeed.

First, see beyond yourself.  Look to become closer to the younger, contemporary and older people you love the most.  Concentrate on giving of yourself to them.  Help them meet their own personal goals and dreams by participating with them each day.  In short, give them your greatest asset, your time.

Second, interact with tomorrow, within the current moment.  We’re talking about more than one current moment and more than one future here.  For example, if you are actively engaged in seeing beyond yourself with another person, you have effectively doubled the current moment and the coming future, right now.  Think about it.  Consider its possibilities.

Third, create stronger interpersonal relationships.  The Chain of Destiny is strengthened one link at a time.  Winston Churchill said, “It is a mistake to look too far ahead.  Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”  If you truly want to have greater success, focus on one relationship, in the current moment.

Finally, glimpse an unseen, yet participatory-planned-future.  Alicia and Derald have chosen to focus their current moments with younger loved ones.  Alicia once told me, “My greatest joy is to see the growth of my grandkids, moment by moment.  Sometimes they offer me a glimpse of what they’re capable of, what they’re becoming.  It is the most satisfying thing I could ever imagine!  It allows me to feel expanded, part of something much greater and longer lasting than my individual, short life span could ever offer.”

“I have a son here.” – Derald Anderson said.

“Our grandkids are here.” Alicia Short agreed.

They are living a participatory-planned-future, one link at a time. Both have firm grip on the Chain of Destiny.