Sweet Trouble

“She comes and helps me quite a bit.” - Kilee Johnson

Sweet Trouble

There was a ringing.  It went on and on.  Then just as it suddenly began, it stopped, for a moment.  The ringing started again!  I rolled over in bed, hoping it would just stop. 

I remember muttering in a bitter way, “Why isn’t it going to voice mail?”

It was very early morning.  The ringing had stopped, but I was awake now and beginning to wonder who was trying to talk with me so early in the morning.  So, I got out of bed and walked over to my iPad.

As soon as the FaceTime number registered in my groggy brain I knew something was wrong.  Such a call at this time of day was not likely a tiding of joy.

I touched the screen and in a flash, two faces quickly filled the space.

“Do you remember what happened to your neighbors?”

“No.” I replied.

“Yes you do!”  She said.  “They were out of town and their toilet kept running.  It flooded their house!” She reminded me.

“Oh, yes.”  I was prompted.

“It just happened to us!”  She turned, flipped the camera, and began to show me the damage.  “What do I do?”

“Call your insurance company and get a disaster clean up company over there as soon as possible!”  I answered.

A few hours later heard my pad announced a new message.

“So, I called my friend who works for a company that does restorations and other things and she called the owners at home and they had a crew out in like an hour!”  She had written.

“Wow! You’re lucky to have such a friend!” I replied.

“She comes and helps me quite a bit. She helped me in the garden yesterday. Seriously! She came over this morning to help me move things out of the way”

Hmm!  Garden!  Move things out of the way! One way to move difficult things out of the way is to add a little sweetness!  A recipe to spread happiness!  Such recipes are tucked away in many cookbooks sitting in pantries everywhere.

Think of sweet & sour pork and honey chipotle salsa! 

Adding sweetness to bitter or fiery experiences can change them from undesirable to something to savor.  My daughter’s friend uses this recipe regularly.  I’ve decided to nickname her “Master Chef.”

Let’s master her recipe and flood the world with sweetness? 

The Mythical Mirror

“I’m disappointed in my self!”

The Mythical Mirror

“I’m just disappointed in my self!”  I heard the voice on the phone say to me.

I was listening carefully.  My heart began to hurt at that very moment.  I know what it’s like to stand in front of a mirror to see reflected disappointment.  I also know that every reflection, in every mirror is not fixed!

Think about that for just one minute; every reflection, in every mirror is not fixed.  An image reflected, changes second by second, moment by moment.  It’s a truth about the world we live in.  Take a moment to dramatize this principle personally.

Pull three or four photos of yourself from different periods of time and examine them side-by-side.  Those images are fixed in their time.  Now, hold them face front, as you compare them, in the mirror, to your current reflection.  While those images are fixed, you are not!  There is nothing you can do about not being stuck in one moment of time with one exception.

That exception is the personal belief held within your mind.  I call it the “Mythical Mirror.”  It is the belief that what you see in the mirror, at this very moment, will never change.  Such a belief is a kin to believing that you’ve become trapped inside of a mirror and can’t get out.  Have no fear; every one of us can escape this harrowing mirror trap.

Perhaps my friend Brad Bertoch explained how to be free of the Mythical Mirror best when he once said, “I just believe that my best is yet to come!”

As each moment passes, you and I receive more knowledge and experience.  And, we can use these as two critical inputs to improve our reflection.  They can act as a foundation as well as building blocks.  They are advantages never before possessed.

Press your advantage forward.  If your experience reveals a slight flaw or weakness, receive the advantage of someone else’s knowledge and experience.  The world’s greatest performers have coaches or mentors to help them get to the next level.  You’ll be surprised at how your insurmountable challenges can easily become a new skills, simply by having someone of specialized experience and knowledge become your teacher.  They will transfer their knowledge and skill to you while keeping you encouraged and focused.

Keep your mind free by keeping it focused on what you’re doing right now.  The Mythical Mirror does not reflect what your future holds as long as you don’t believe it.  Self-fulfilling prophecies come true!  Keep your mind working to fulfill your belief that your best is yet to come and it will come!

It will come as you build from your foundational experiences.  It will come as you receive coaching and mentoring.  It will come by living every day, taking one step at a time.

Each step is a reflection of your belief.  When you look in the mirror, know that the image you see there is who you used to be.  It is not who you are yet to be.  Every reflection, in every mirror is not fixed!

Practicing Scales

An insurmountable wall

Practicing Scales

One of my close friends has been working many years toward the accomplishment of a long-term goal.  He’s very close to success by almost all measures; except for one.

His wife called me this week to ask for help.  “My husband is discouraged!  He no longer believes he can get over his last hurdle!  Can you help?”

My friend views himself as standing in front of a wall and he has no way to get over it.  Now he’s given up and has begun to dream the wall away, thinking that someone will come and remove it for him.  Such a dream has tempted all of us, at one time or another, and it can be a costly delusion.

Here is a strategy you and I will benefit from when our hope of breaking through an obstacle has dissipated.

First, sit down and review the path you’ve been on as if it were a map.  When I had given up one time my boss, Phil Evans, looked me right in the eye and said, “You’re right on the verge of breaking through!  Let’s sit down and look at what you’ve accomplished so far.  Doing so will show you just how tiny that wall really is!  When you’ve walked ten miles down a path, that ten foot wall is revealed for what it really is; a simple bump in the road!”

Second, notice why you’re stuck.  I’ve found that when I’m feeling really stuck its because I don’t know what to do!  The situation is new to me, but it isn’t new to everyone!  That’s exactly why I went to Phil in the first place.  He’d been down this path many times, with many different people.  All I had to do is recognize his expertise and ask him for help!

Third, account for cost in the right way.  When facing a huge obstacle, sometimes you and I think the cost to get around it is just too high.  It will take more effort than you or I have left to expend.  This kind of thinking reveals that the thinker is only taking one cost into account.  And, there is another, hidden-in-plain-sight cost most fail to see.  What is the cost of not getting over the hurdle?  Do you really want to walk that whole ten miles back to where you started?

Fourth.  Sometimes you need to hire someone who has expertise and the right tools!  I used to do lots of work by myself because I thought it would save me some money.  Then one day my friend Dave Adams showed up with the right tools and did the work I’d been struggling with for weeks in about ten minutes!   

“Having the right tools is everything!” Dave said to me as I gladly wrote a check to him for his exceptional, skilled work. 

Paying for expertise and skill isn’t really an expense.  It is a small investment made to pave the way for the huge gains to be made by sidestepping  “opportunity cost!”

Finally, I’ve found that sitting down to review my path rekindles my excitement!  My commitment is redoubled because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!  I can see myself reaching my goal.  That’s when I can muster the strength to make one last push to cross the plane for the win.   This internal commitment is what’s really needed to crush that looming wall!

So, to all my friends out there, standing in front of that impenetrable wall.  You’ve worked many years to reach your goals.  You’re close to success by all measures.  Let your internal commitment to your triumph give you the strength to recognize that you’re on the verge of breaking through.  Call in the help and expertise you need to give you a little boost. 

And, enjoy scaling that height!

The Wave

The waning of waving

The Wave

It happened as I was driving down a quiet country road.  I didn’t know a soul.  It was all right, because I felt insulated inside my car.  There was an approaching car just ahead.  I looked straight through my windshield and caught the eyes of the other driver, as he was about to pass.  Then it happened!

The other driver lifted this index finger in concert with his middle finger off his steering wheel and he offered a friendly wave.  I was so shocked I didn’t know how to respond!  I drove on toward the land I had recently purchased.  I have to admit that I was a little dazed and confused.

I remember thinking to my self, “Do I know him?”  Then my thoughts went further, “I wonder what he wants?”

I drove on.  Another car approached.  I looked straight through my windshield and caught the eyes of the other driver, as he was about to pass.  It happened again!

The other driver lifted this index finger in concert with his middle finger off his steering wheel and he offered a friendly wave.  I was again shocked!  I drove on and on.  I wondered and wondered.  I wondered, until I had completed the construction of my new home and it had become a common occurrence for me to waive back. That was twenty-two years ago.

I have continued to drive on the same country roads through these many years now.  And, a few days ago there was an approaching car just ahead.  I looked straight through my windshield and caught the eyes of the other driver, as he was about to pass.

The other driver didn’t lift his index finger, from the steering wheel, in concert with his middle finger to offer a wave.  I was sad and didn’t know how to respond.  I was shocked!  I drove on and on.  I wondered and wondered until I had completed the construction of my idea of how to restore what was lost.

I decided I’d need to solve the problem by changing myself!  Here’s my solution.

As I happen to be driving down a quiet country road, to and from the house I live in, I pass cars approaching just up ahead.  I look straight through my windshield and catch the eyes of the other driver, as he is about to pass.  Then it happens!

I lift my index finger in concert with my middle finger, off my steering wheel, and offer a friendly wave.  It is a small gesture of kindness to be sure.  And, I’m sure the other drivers as shocked and don’t know how to respond!  They’re most likely dazed and confused as well.  But, I hope it will become a common occurrence for them to wave back.

It’s a start.  And. hopefully it will ignite a new wave of friendliness throughout our community.