A revelation provided by a newly-people-less house.

Trophy House

The front door lock was stiff.  It hadn’t been used for almost a year.  I giggled the key in an effort to get it to release.  Just as I was about to give it up there was a slight click.  The handle was free of the locking mechanism that had bound it.  So, I entered the house.

This wasn’t just any house.  It was the home of James and Carol Grimm.  They, and their family, are friends of mine.  As I walked in and saw the familiar sights, I could feel a knot beginning to be tied in my throat.  It signaled what I already knew.  Everything was still in this house, except for James and Carol.  Without them it was just a structure; a building filled with things.

Once inside I moved forward.  My purpose was to look it over for the family, so they could begin to get it ready for a sale.  I walked slowly because virtually everything there carried a memory.  They weren’t just my memories.  They were James and Carol’s memories.  All on display.

James’ trophies were perhaps the most prominent display in the house. They were almost all contained in the large trophy room.  I took the time to read the plaque on virtually every one of them.  They were descriptive of what James had achieved over a lifetime of pursuing his dreams.  They were big dreams and he had achieved an almost unimaginable amount of success.  

“This is a trophy house!”  I said to myself as I progressed.

But, as I looked toward the west end of the room, I was reminded that measures of success are not always found to be on display in a trophy room. There, just in front of me, was a photo album sitting on top of a brown cardboard box, near the trophy room’s entry.  It caught my eye because I had seen it before.

“I remember that photo album!”  I whispered to myself in recognition of its importance.

I remembered it, because not long ago I was looking through it with one of Carol and James’ sons.  He and I were reliving some of the most impactful family memories it contained.

“Not one of those photos contains a trophy!”  I reminded myself as I picked it up, in an almost absently minded manner.

The photos illustrated the growth of two boys and their parents.  They boys were on a journey to manhood.  The parents on their journey toward growing a living legacy.  The album showed a great deal of their shared journey.  Jimmy sitting up in a hospital bed, healing, after he survived a horrific automobile accident.  Family events held at their former homes in Scottsdale, Tulsa and Alabama.  Each photo whispered a documentary that played on, not only in my mind, but in the minds and hearts of those depicted therein.

“This is more than a trophy house!”  I called out for the whole universe to hear.  “The trophies tell of one ended story.  The boys shown in this album?  They are the continuing story!”

The front door lock was stiff when I arrived and tried to open it.  It hadn’t been used for almost a year.  I giggled the key in an effort to get it to release.  Just as I was about to give it up there was a slight click.  The handle was free of the locking mechanism that had bound it.  So, I entered the house.

This wasn’t just any house.  It was the home of James and Carol Grimm.  They, and their family, are friends of mine.  As I walked in and saw the familiar sights I could feel a knot beginning to be tied in my throat.  It signaled what I already knew.  Everything was still in this house, except for James and Carol.  Without them it was just a structure; a building filled with things, a trophy house.  Yet, the giggling of the front door’s handle caused something more than that one lock to be released.

My walk through the trophy room, where I rediscovered developed memories, opened another door of contemplation.

James and Carol have left something of much greater import than a house filled with trophies.  They’ve left a living legacy.  Two boys grown into men.  Grandchildren who are now parents themselves.  Love that has endured and is being carried forward.  

They’ve left life!  They’ve created a wonderful, living legacy!

“One of the most touching things ever to have happened to me was receiving a hand-written note.” – Barry Larson

A Noteworthy Breakfast

I’ve heard it said that the most important meal of the day is breakfast.  But, I guess I’ve never really believed it.  Until now!

The reason I believe it now has nothing to do with how good it is for a person’s body and mind to eat a suitable breakfast.  I’m sure someone else can regale you with such physical-body stories and statistics.  All I can do is to tell you how I came to know that breakfast truly is the most important way to acquire nourishment for the heart.

“Where would you like to have breakfast?”  Barry asked through a text message.

I viewed his message on my telephone.  It’s Barry’s preferred method of communication.  I think it’s because it saves him time.  And, most of the time, when one eats a poor breakfast it’s also about saving time.  Luckily for me, that wasn’t what my breakfast with Barry was about.

Our breakfast together was about one thing.  Spending time together.  Again, luckily for me, it turned out to be much more nourishing to my heart than I had ever dreamed.  And, I can dream quite well about where to eat, whether it is for breakfast or any other meal for that matter.

“Do you know if Blue Plate Diner is open for in-café dining these days?”  I typed back.

“No.”  Barry responded. “I usually eat at Jim’s.”

“Jim’s works for me.”  I digitized in return.  “The one in West Jordan will be most convenient for me.  Is that alright with you?”

So, on that Monday morning, I walked into Jim’s Family Restaurant.

“May I look to see if my friend is already here?”  I asked when I had arrived at the host’s desk.

Then I walked around a corner, saw Barry and slid into the booth right across the table from him.  We ordered food and then we talked while eating.  But, never while our mouths were full!  And soon, our stomachs were satisfied.  Yet, I’ve already told you that a stomach filled with good food is not the reason I now know that Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  It was something Barry said to me.  A wonderful story.

“When I grew up my family didn’t have much money.”  He said.  “But, my parent taught me a great work ethic.  And because they passed that on to me it’s made all the difference.  Still, I didn’t know how much of a difference until I was sitting in a potential client’s living room one day.”

He told me how he didn’t really know much about the people he was meeting with.  And, his initial meeting was just getting to know them better.  Things were going well, so they decided to hold a follow up meeting soon after the first.

“I had lightly eluded to how humble my family background was because I didn’t know them well yet.  I was sort of vague, thinking I wasn’t divulging too much personal information.”  He explained.

At that point of the Barry’s story, I had scooted up to the edge of my seat.  I mean, with bait like that, I was so hooked that my belly was as tight as it could possibly be on the edge of the table.  I was waiting to be fed well past the simple food we were eating.

“The next meeting with these potential clients went well.  It looked as if I was going to be able to help them.  I was getting ready to leave when the matriarch, a kindly woman of graced-age got up and pressed a hand-written note into the palm of my hand.  She did it in such a way so as to not allow the others in the room to even see what she had done.”

Barry paused.  I could see the emotion building behind his eyes.

“I didn’t know it at that moment, but It was one of the most wonderful things to ever happen to me!”  He continued.  “I left the house and began to drive home.  I thought I’d wait to read the note until I got home.  But, my little internal voice said, ‘stop and read it now.’ So, I did!”

“I know your family and about the challenges you faced as you grew up!”  The woman’s note said.  “I just wanted you to know that I could not be more proud of who you have become!”

“I took the note home and shared it with my wife.  It is a memory I’ll never forget.  It’s a kindness beyond anything I thought I would ever experience.  I treasure the memory in my heart!”  Barry said with the softness of gratitude touching his voice as we finished our breakfast together.

I’ve heard it said that the most important meal of the day is breakfast.  I guess I’ve never really believed it.  Until now!

The reason I believe it now has nothing to do with how good it is for a person’s body and mind to eat a suitable breakfast.  I’m sure someone else can regale you with such physical-body stories and statistics.  All I can do is to share with you the story of how I came to know that breakfast truly can become a most significant way to acquire nourishment for the heart.  

Barry Larson taught me that you and I can make breakfast a much more heart-warming experience. Perhaps we can take the time to share life’s most important events with each other as a pathway toward sharing a more enhanced meal.

Who knows? Perhaps breakfast will become the most important meal of the day to those we pass carefully hand-written notes of inspiration & admiration to, so we can swell both their tummies and their hearts with affection.

“As I looked up, above the water, in my broken body, I saw an ethereal woman above me saying, “surrender.” – Margo Coates Huddleston

Surrendering

“I love to be on the water.”  Margo Huddleston said to me as we looked out of the large south facing windows of her living room out across a shimmering lake and on to the Oquirrh Mountains.  Below those same windows, anchored in that same lake, Margo and her husband Laron have a couple of boats tied to the shore.  While absorbing this tranquil setting one could assume that Margo has sailed smoothly through life.

Margo does sail on the water.  Yet, I was there visiting because I knew she hadn’t been sailing effortlessly through life for quite some time.  She’s been battling some health issues in earnest.  So, I when I had a strong feeling to stop in to see how she was doing, I followed that feeling to her house.  Happily, as she came into her living room to greet me, her eyes, voice and smile were still sparkling, just like the sunshine bouncing off the water before us.

“I’m going in for more back surgery.”  Margo said as she graciously perched on the arm of a small couch.  “I don’t think I’ll be back out sailing anytime soon.”

Her torso was covered in a large, black back brace and she shifted slightly as she talked so she could make adjustments to the straps holding it in place.

“I’ve looked worse!”  She beamed, before continuing, “I was really banged up once from a sailing accident!  Have I told you that story?”

She hadn’t told me that story, so I answered her query with a quick, “No.”

“We were out sailing one day when strong winds began to buffet the boat.”  She continued.  “I was thrown overboard and as my head came up out of the water the first thing I saw was the boat tumbling sideways toward me.  I knew there was nothing I could do.  It was going to pummel me!”

And, just as she thought, the boat cartwheeled directly on top of her.  It churned and churned until every part of her body had been beaten, just as if she’d been in a butter churn.

“You should have seen me!”  She said.  “My face was swollen and my entire body was bruised or broken.  But, that’s not why I’m telling you this story.”

At this point, I was hooked like a fish, caught by a skilled fisherman.  I was breathlessly waiting to hear more.

“As the boat was thrashing me, I remember thinking, ‘This must be my time.  I’m ready to go.’ And at that moment I looked out of the water toward the sky. And, as I looked up, above the water, in my broken body, I saw an ethereal woman above me saying, ‘surrender.’  That’s the moment I knew I’d be alright, that I could surrender to the moment and the accident, without worry.”  

Margo finished talking with an expectant smile, her blue eyes riveted on mine.

I’d had the feeling to stop, hoping to offer some encouragement.  Yet, here was Margo, offering me dramatic encouragement and a valuable lesson instead.  Surrendering doesn’t have to mean giving up.  It can also mean that it’s an occasion to allow faith and hope to grow inside, by trusting that great good can flow to us, like water; come from others who freely offer their love, care and nurture.

“I love to be on the water.”  Margo Huddleston said to me as we looked out of the large south facing windows of her living room out across a shimmering lake and on to the Oquirrh Mountains.  Below those same windows, anchored in that same lake, Margo and her husband Laron have a couple of boats tied to the shore.  While absorbing this tranquil setting one could assume that Margo has sailed smoothly through life.

Margo does sail on the water.  Yet, I was there visiting because I knew she hadn’t been sailing effortlessly through life for quite some time.  She’s been battling some health issues in earnest.  So, I when I had a strong feeling to stop in to see how she was doing, I followed that feeling to her house.  Happily, as she came into her living room to greet me, her eyes, voice and smile were still sparkling, just like the sunshine bouncing off the water before us.

And, she taught me another, important meaning of surrender.

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What Lies Inside

“My choice was the culmination of many years of pain!”  Ryan Schwab said with his characteristic, steely gaze.

Sometimes It’s hard to know where internal determination comes from.  And, up to this moment, all I knew was that from the first instant I met Ryan, personal resolve radiated from him.

“I’ve always been an athlete.”  Ryan continued.  “I love playing team and personal sports.  I loved sports so much that I allowed injury to go unhealed.  This became a great problem for me over time!”

I could see the sincerity in Ryan’s eyes as he spoke.  And, he became the personification of what Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”

“One day, I just knew that I needed to take a hard look inside.”  Ryan explained.  “I had an amazing wife and children. Their faces were there, inside of me, tattooed on my heart.  It was the first time something, someone, was able to supplant the past and move into first position in my life!  I knew I had to let the pain of the past go, to stop allowing it to control my life.  I chose them!  I chose what lies inside of me!”

To say that this one moment was the totality of Ryan’s decision would be to sell his internal strength short; not allow the fullness of his internal strength to shine.  Here’s how he stokes what lies inside, so it continues to grow and give him strength.

First, Ryan schedules personal time with his wife and kids.  For example, they sat down and created a plan to schedule specific adventures with a purpose.  They spend their vacation time in international locations, so their view of the world is continually expanding.

Second, Ryan choses to give back.  He does so by coaching others, one-on-one.  He says, “Others have allowed me to develop internal fortitude and it means a lot to me to do the same thing for people who have faced the same challenges I’ve faced.

Third, Ryan keeps his eyes focused on the inside.  “I learned early on that there is never just one decision point!  So, it is essential for me to spend a few moments at the beginning of every day to dig deep.  To remind myself that the strength to have a future with my wife and children is already within me!”

Finally, Ryan practices shielding.  “I don’t allow what people, those living on my outside, to alter who I am on the inside.  I know who is in my heart!”

That statement was our conversation’s capstone, Ryan’s life defining statement, the demonstration of his deep-dive-understanding that true power lies within.

“My choice was the culmination of many years of pain!”  Ryan Schwab said with his characteristic, steely gaze.

Sometimes It’s hard to know where internal determination comes from.  And, up to this moment, all I knew was that from the first instant I met Ryan, personal resolve radiated from him.  

Now, Ryan has taught you and me that we too can know that, what lies behind us and what lies in front of us, pales in comparison to what lies inside of us.