Stolen

A money thief

Stolen

I was walking through a jet-way when my telephone notified me of a call.  I quickly pulled it from my pocket and glanced at the screen.  It was an important call and strangers surrounded me, so I chose not to accept the call right then, continued through the bridge and entered the aluminum tube to my seat.

When I had settled into my seat I returned the call and was shocked at what I heard as a conversation ensued.

“We’ve decided not to pay you . . . “

I was stunned!  I had worked hard to complete the terms of the contract and the transaction was to be completed within one week.  The two following days were miserable, as I struggled to come to terms with what had just happened.  And, as one night darkly crept into the next day I thought of you while coming to a realization.

Everyone has faced loss through theft!  My experience was not unique in any way. And, this one thought reminded me of private notes recorded by Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD.

“Never value anything . . . which shall compel thee to break thy promise, to lose thy self-respect, to hate any man. To suspect, to curse, to act the hypocrite, to desire anything which needs walls and curtains”

Marcus Aurelius taught me that a person “lives only in the present time, an indivisible point and that all the rest of his life is either past or it is uncertain.  Short then is the time which every man lives.” 

On this particular morning, the sun rose in the sky and brought my life back with it.  I decided to let the thief steal only my money, not the rest of the brightening day or my life, and to let the following principles, discovered in the past to permit me not to live in the past.

Be pleased and content with what happens.  Each of us can decide to allow gratitude to be firmly planted in our breast so tranquility can be preserved.  True joy comes from knowing you are living each moment on the path toward becoming who you want to become.

Do only justice.  This is different from “getting justice,” which is really just a different way of saying revenge.  Living a just life means you always do what is fair.  Always.  Never deviate from the way, which leads you to the end of your envisioned life.

Let uncertainty work in your favor.  Life can end at any moment and while everything may exist in a state of confusion.  You and I can follow right reason, satisfied with present activity, always ready to depart.

We have it within our power to be free, to remember that we have ultimate control over things inside ourselves, things that can never be taken from us, never stolen. 

The Experts Say

“The minute you begin to believe you’re an expert, is the minute you get knocked down!” 

– Bruce Dunning

The Experts Say

It was early in the morning.  I was doing yoga; stretching as part of my daily “get ready” routine while also listening to another “expert” telling the world that more bad was going to happen.  At this time, on this show, he seemed to be making a lot of sense.  I began to slow down and deepen my stretches so I could listen more attentively.  I listened until the show ended and I finished my yoga, then I moved on to the rest of the day in front of me.

As the day progressed, the words of the expert continued to tickle my ears.  I had made a mental note of the title of his latest book and when I needed a small mental diversion, my fingers tapped lightly on my computer’s keypad so I could peruse my favorite on-line book distributor’s reviews.

The reviews were plentiful and enlightening.  This was neither his first book, nor was it his first round of prognostication.  His readers said it all.  “Great expectations, poor track record!”  “Loved the book and some of what he predicted came to pass.”  I decided to take a pass myself.  I didn’t order the book.

“There is a certain order to the world.”  Bruce Dunning was saying to me.  Bruce is, perhaps, the best negotiator I have ever met or worked with.  He was coaching, and working with me to finish the last of my class work so I could complete the requirements for a designation known as “Master Certified Negotiation Expert.”  (Ha!  Another expert born!) Then he followed that statement up with, “The minute you begin to believe you’re an expert, is the minute you get knocked down!”

My mind raced back to the book writer, the “expert on the world’s economy and future.”  He was right and he was wrong.  Just like you and me!  No one is always right, even if they are designated as an expert.  Sue reminds me of that on a regular basis, especially when I get all riled up about what “the experts” are saying.

She says, “I prefer to have a more positive view of the world!”

So, when you and I are worried about what the experts are saying all around us, perhaps we could remember what Thomas Jefferson said? “Trust the people.  The people will get it right!”

That doesn’t mean there won’t be mistakes.  It doesn’t mean things will go smoothly and not get messy.  Could it mean that you and I, regular people, will do some things right and then feel real good about ourselves until the universe reminds us of how small we really are?

Yes.  We’re small. One small piece of something magnificent!

This one small piece drove home on another day last week.  It had been a particularly long and difficult day until I turned into my driveway.  At that moment, the beauty of the green grass, combined with the sky, and was punctuated by sublime mountain peaks!  It all took my breath away!

Since I had little breath, I whispered to myself, “No matter what the experts say, this world is one beautiful place and I’m glad to be just one small part of it for one small amount of time!”

Double-Sided-Wants

“Have you wondered why you have friends? “ - Mike Anderson

Double-Sided-Wants

Mike was standing at the front of a large room talking.  I was sitting in that room listening and getting continuing education credit at the same time.  Soon after Mike began, his presentation changed its purpose.  Well, not for the crowd gathered there, just for me.

“Have you wondered why you have friends? “ Mike asked.

Flash!  I was no longer listening to his words as if they were addressing the topic at hand.  I was listening to his words as well as rehearsing the words of my daughter not two days before.

“My friend Jessica thanked me for being so understanding last night.”  Annie reported to me after she had spent the evening before making dinner with her friend.

“You’ve been so understanding of how difficult my schedule has been since I started graduate school!  Between working full time and my schoolwork I haven’t been able to spend much friend time.  Not everyone is so understanding!”  Jessica said.

She had received a note from another friend a few days before.  It was a “howler,” complaining that she wasn’t spending enough time with the message writer and was no longer considered a good friend.  It has broken Jessica’s tender heart.

So, friendship was on my mind.  I repeated Mike’s question in my mind over and over again so I could begin to quantify friendship’s true basis.  It’s something we could all think about with regularity so we can become a better friend to those we treasure.  I’m sure you will be able to add to my thoughts; they aren’t a complete guide, and here are some things I noticed about Jessica’s model of friendship:

She demonstrated true service.  When she wanted to express her friendship to Annie she did so by offering heart felt service, cooking dinner.  Providing service to another person without and intent to receive something in return is the first principle of friendship.  We just do things for those we care about, because we want to.  And, want is double sided.

Second, we want to do something for our friend, and we spend time understanding what our friend really wants.  Friendship is an art of combining these two wants.  People are genuinely touched when they see that another person has true understanding and appreciation of what they want and who they are.

Third, Jessica “delivered” her friendship.  People who are friends spend time showing their care in specific ways designed to demonstrate a special relationship.  Perhaps we could all ask ourselves if we’re delivering both kinds of wants in a significant way to those we care about.

Fourth, significance implies real intent.  We all know when other people are sincere with their overtures.  Sincerity makes all the difference! One of my other friends calls this “being the genuine you.”  Isn’t that the kind of friend we all want to have?  Fulfilling two-wants is much different from being “two-faced!”

By the time my three hours of face-time with Mike were finished I was beginning to have a better understanding of what true friendship is and how it’s based on the principle of Double-Sided-Wants.  I’ll be thinking about friendship regularly now and in a different way than before.  I really want to be a good friend.

Curing Whatifitis

“What if there is a drought and the well goes dry and if the farmer quits farming in twenty years?” – Danielle

Curing Whatifitis

My telephone told me there was a caller, so I answered and began a conversation.  She was interested in relocating to Utah from another state and had lots of questions.  Her first questions were easily answered and then, they soon became unanswerable. 

 I like to be helpful. I always tell the truth.  And, there are some questions I just can’t answer.  The questions she was soon asking couldn’t be answered by anyone and as she continued I began to see she was burdened by, what I call,“Whatifitis.”

Whatifitis is defined as inflamed, phantom burdens.  It means carrying unnecessary worry about an infinite number of futures that will never occur.

As I listened to Danielle come up with more and more what ifs, I soon wondered how she could carry such a heavy weight.  After all, you and I know that carrying around extra weight isn’t healthy.  And, that applies to both body and psychological weight.  Luckily, there’s an easy five-step cure to Whatifitis.

First, recognize that no one can live in the past or the future.  Accepting this one principle in our lives and making it a rule not to be broken will do more to lighten our psychological loads than anything else I can think of. It’s the first step toward enabling the other steps to a cure.

Second, be actively engaged in your present moment.  Our lives are lived only in the present.  That means that each moment is new and permitting!  Each person chooses to do exactly what he or she wants to do over and over again.  Moments have duality!  They are additive and liberating!  All new moments add up and usher in the following moment.  Each makes a difference!

Third, gather in each moment as it arrives.  Each moment is truly fresh.  That means that each moment is revealed only as its time arrives.  Let it arrive and notice it!

Fourth, as you notice each moment you will begin to see that exactly what you need is always placed before you.  If you’re truly living in the moment, you’ll begin to be filled with gratitude; knowing that what you need is being offered to you at the exact time you need it.

Fifth, have faith in the established system of moments.  Believe that whatever you need will arrive right on time.  Simply gather it in as it is revealed!

Life is a personal revelation and it automatically comes to each one of us!  And, It always offers promise; the promise of grateful anticipation as a reward!  My friend Kyle said it best to me one day.

“I can’t wait for life’s next revelation!  I live in a constant state of amazed anticipation!”

You're Such a Sponge

“Be a sponge for the sort of knowledge that will make you wealthy,” - Allen Walton

 You’re Such a Sponge

“I like to tell my clients that we no longer live on dry land,” I said to Stacey as we were talking about current real estate market conditions.

She called to talk with me about a conversation she had earlier in the day with new agent, with no market experience, who had been talking with her about pricing.

“We live on the ocean now.” I continued. “You’ve been on the ocean, you’ve seen the huge swells and rolling motion of the water.  That’s what our markets are like now.  It means you have to be able to adapt to constant changes.”

Constant change means you and I can’t just do what we’ve always done and thrive.  Doing what we’ve always done means that when a big swell rolls our way we have a strong possibility of having our “boat” swamped.  I remember having my boat swamped in 2008.

When all markets crashed I found myself much less prepared than I had imagined.  I say imagined because for the first time in my business career I realized that I had been living with assumptions that were proven not to be true and it almost cost me everything, cash, real estate, possessions and health.  It all caused me to look for answers.  I look at everything in my life and decided I needed to change.

That’s when I recognized our world was going through a “sea-change,” a broad transformation in the world.  I had read about such changes in the past such as the Industrial Revolution, where the world’s economy shifted from being an agrarian base to an industrial base, and I had never lived through such upheaval in my own live. I knew I needed help to adapt, to become a new creature.

There are lots of creatures in the sea.  I’ve caught a few of them and others, such as sharks, have assaulted me in their human form, but one stands out to me.  The Sponge.

Sponges are multicellular organisms that have bodies full of pores and channels allowing water to circulate through them. They rely on maintaining a constant water flow through their bodies to obtain food and oxygen and to remove wastes.  They are a great example of a great way to live in an ocean-like environment.

Yes, life in our world is now like living on the ocean.  Conditions are changing constantly and rapidly.  Decide to live life as a Sponge.  Allow the shifting currents to flow through you by learning new and important information as it presents itself and by seeking it.  Then, use the constant flow for nourishment and renewal.  Actively discover new opportunities and obtain needed skills while removing unproductive habits and waste.

Live as a Sponge!  It will allow the world’s upheaval to act for your benefit.