Defeat's Hidden Path to Success

“I believe that defeat is life’s way of nudging you and letting you know you’re off course.” – Sara Blakely

Defeat’s Hidden Path to Success

“When my brother and I were growing up, he [my father] would encourage us to fail.  We’d sit around the dinner table and he’d ask. ‘What did you guys fail at this week?’”

You might read Sara’s tale of her family dinners and say to yourself, “What kind of father is that!”

But if you were able to speak with Sara, a most successful person, she would go on to tell you “He knew that many people become paralyzed by the fear of failure.  They’re constantly afraid of what others will think if they don’t so a great job and, as a result, take no risks.”

You see, he had discovered one of the most empowering principles a person can learn:  Defeat reveals otherwise hidden paths to success! Before you stop reading, accept this one invitation. 

Think back to what you’ve always believed to be your greatest defeat.  Did it alter your path in some significant way?  Did if cause you to really embrace your personal strengths?  Were you motivated to prove your self-worth in some other way?  Did it steel your mind to focus on succeeding?

For most of us, learning from defeat is a very painful and negative experience.  But, what if you could turn your view slightly?  What if you decided that you could try everything and feel welcome to take personal risk? 

If you decided to define failure “as not trying something I want to do instead of not achieving the right outcome” would it make a difference for you?

Since I work in sales I’m constantly amazed at how defeat reveals opportunity.  In fact, when my clients don’t get what they think they want I say to them, “Don’t worry!  The right thing will happen for you.  It just hasn’t been revealed yet!”  Then we follow the paths we would have missed had we not been defeated.  And, you know what?  The right thing happens every time!  Well, it happens every time unless they give up.

That’s why when Sara said, “I believe that defeat is life’s way of nudging you and letting you know you’re off course” I felt it in my very core.  I know that if you and are determined to see defeat as a nudge toward our best course, we can live a life beyond our wildest dreams.  It will be a life beyond our dreams because we have made dreams into our reality.

Brushstrokes

“Artists frequently hide the steps that lead to their masterpieces.” Matthew Weiner

Brushstrokes

“I’m a little freaked right now!”   Annie looked up and said to me.

Annie is graduating from college within the next few weeks.  She said, “You can’t imagine how many jobs I’ve applied for!  I haven’t gotten one and can’t find anything I want to do!”

I remember feeling the same when I was her age.  Oh!  There are times when I feel that way right now, even after all these years!

I can’t tell you the number of people I know who have been working to achieve their dreams for years and years and haven’t been able to “succeed,” to get what they want.  They’re right! 

When viewed from a particular perspective, they’re right; they haven’t accomplished everything they had hoped.  But there is always a different way to look at things, an alternative view.

We often look at our lives the way we look at a painting.  We look at the whole and see something wonderful, a masterpiece.  But in choosing this particular point of view we don’t break the whole painting into individual brushstrokes.

Can you imagine someone walking up to a large blank canvas with a bucket full of different colors of paint, all sloshing around in the bucket?  Then can you see this “artist” hold the bucket in two hands, turn her body to the side, pull the bucket back and then thrust it forward until its contents splatter against the canvas?  How do you envision the results?

Would such an action result in a beautiful, carefully constructed landscape or portrait?

Carefully selected and applied brushstrokes are critical to the creation of a painted masterpiece.

Matthew taught me that, “Artists frequently hide the steps that lead to their masterpieces.  They want their work and their career to he shrouded in the mystery that it all came out at once.  It’s called hiding the brushstrokes, and those who do it are doing a disservice to people who admire their work and seek to emulate them.”

Every one of us could benefit from paying careful attention to brushstrokes, whether the strokes are those of another or our own.  The benefits of beginning with a finished painting in mind are clear.  But important, fulfilling joy is the result of stroking the brush.  Remembering this one, simple concept can alter ones view from despair to anticipation.

Adopting this concept and fully infusing it into our lives can also help reduce the despair of others.  When we reveal our brushstrokes to others, they can see and understand the process of creating a masterpiece.  They will know that a masterpiece created by a bucket-splattering artist is a myth.  And, that an artist’s painting is still in process as long as she is brushing.

You and I have succeeded in making thousands of brushstrokes.  I am continuing to brush and am not finished with the creation of my masterpiece.  How about you?

Discovering Significance

“After I graduated from college my father pulled me aside and said he noticed that I had stopped learning.” – Don Hein

Discovering Significance

I’ve developed a habit of reviewing each week and asking myself the question, “What did you learn of significance?”  It’s a way to boil the whole week down into a simple something I can grab hold of and call my own.

I remember starting this practice after a conversation with my friend Don Hein, no long after we graduated from College.  Don and I were talking about an exchange he recently had with his father.

He said, “After I graduated from college my father pulled me aside and said he noticed that I had stopped learning.  Then he asked me to tell him about the last book I had read.  I told him I hadn’t read one since I graduation.  That’s when he said, ‘the purpose of college was to teach you how to learn.  You didn’t graduate so you could be finished with learning!’”

Since that conversation I’ve tried to continually keep my focus on learning new ideas and things.  But, over the past three years or so, I’ve found a new dimension to learning that I had never before considered.  I call it “lessons of arrogance.” 

Now as I study some subjects in more depth, I see gaps in my knowledge base because of personal arrogance.  These gaps have occurred because rather than learn every detail about a subject; I learned what I thought I needed to know and then filled the gaps with subjective assumptions.  I was conceited enough to think I could “make the rest up,” all the while believing that I was well educated.  Now I can see I’ve missed things of interest and wonder.

Once I opened my eyes to the possibility of challenging my own assumptions I began to see new and exciting possibilities.  Perhaps more importantly, I’ve been able ask myself the question, “What if what I’ve always believed isn’t correct?”  Talk about living a life of interest and wonder!  Now I have the pleasure of wondering what else I’m wrong about and I’m excited to discover a whole new world.

Discovery can come in many forms.  Make discovering truth about yourself and our world significant in your life.  Challenge your assumptions about what you think every day.  Take time to understand why what you’ve learned is significant and then let the wonder of learning propel you forward.

Ragain Your Creativity

“You aren’t an art major are you?”- My college art teacher

Regain Your Creativity

“You’re a pretty good artist in a distorted way.” My teacher said to me when I was in high school.

I remember thinking after she said that.  “She was trying to be nice, while saying that I wasn’t good at drawing.”

I liked to draw, so I kept drawing and drawing.  That is, I kept at it until I was in college.

I was excited when I could take a drawing class to fulfill a liberal education credit.  It was basic drawing.  I felt like a real artist when I had to go out and purchase the materials I was to use in class.  It felt good to me and I was really enjoying the class as it went along.

I could see the work of the other students.  Some of their work was really good and I could see there was a dramatic difference between what they produced and my own work.  I could see what I was drawing wasn’t quite right, but I didn’t know what to do to correct it.  Then, as I was trying to do my very best work in class, the teacher came over to me and asked a question.

“You aren’t an art major, are you?

“No.” I replied.

“Good!”  He said with a smile.  “You’ll do alright in this class, but don’t take any more art.”

I’ve laughed at his response to my work for many years now.  But, there has also been a down side.  I interpreted his comment as telling me that there was no value in my personal creativity!  I even coined a cynical statement as a result.

“Art is just some guy’s name.”

But, I have always known a different truth.  Personal creativity is important in life.  It opens new learning opportunities and teaches valuable lessons unattainable through other pursuits.

Have you come to believe that there is no value in your own personal creativity? If you have, try the following steps to regain what has been stolen from you.

First, know that you are pursuing creativity for yourself.  There are a relatively few people who become famous across the world and generations for their creative works.  On the other hand, I have enjoyed books on my Kindle that were written for the shear joy of writing.  The authors charge me nothing for their work.  But, their writing has given me pleasure and joy.  I’m a better person for having enjoyed their creative pursuit.

Second, pursue your creativity on a regular basis.  I’ve found that by scheduling a regular time each week and dedicating myself to being more imaginative, that I’ve been able to produce work that other wise would have gone wanting.  I now view my creative block as a time for personal discovery, where life becomes more magical and meaningful.

Third, share your work with others.  Some will appreciate it and others will not.  It’s hard when others don’t appreciate the work of your creative self.  But, when others value what you’ve done, it is exalting and encouraging.  Their encouragement will cause you to keep at it and do your best.

Finally. When you realize that you can’t be a whole person without embracing your own creativity you’ll begin to create for your own sake.  I learned this from my friend Julie, an actress on Broadway.

“I found that I couldn’t live without acting.  When I made that personal breakthrough, I also discovered that I was already a successful actress.  I was acting because I loved it and it no longer mattered what the critics said.  It didn’t matter that I had to wait tables to pay my bills.  I acted because I was alive!”

Are you alive?  Regain your creativity.  Find your life.