“Finding opportunity is a matter of believing it’s there.” – Barbara Corcoran

Believing it’s There

“You know me!”  He said.

I do know him!  He has a knack for finding opportunity.  It’s something I’ve watched him find over a period of more than twenty years.  At first, I thought he was just lucky.  But, when that luck seemed to be following him around like a pair of tight jeans I had to wonder.  Was there something beyond luck happening here?

This wondering necessitated a lengthy process of observation and comparison.  No.  I didn’t become some kind of weird groupie or anything of that sort!  I just spent the time and effort to become a close friend.  Because I wanted to be more like him.  And, the simple recognition of a need to find something, that wasn’t overtly visible, was in itself, an important nugget of discovery.

The people you associate with, your friends and collogues, will guide the trajectory of both personal success and belief.  Because I was spending more personal time with my admired person, his ways of thinking and acting started to naturally rub off on me.  Being with people means you’ll become like them.

Being like another person is more than simply dressing like them.  It also means their patterns of living will become yours over time.  These patterns will affect important lifestyle choices such as the places you frequent, what you do professionally, who you marry, behavior, what you do with your leisure time and how you think.  Of all of these impacts, and others I haven’t named here, perhaps the most important is how you think.

This was graphically confirmed to me one day by a ten-year-old boy who spoke of his reverence for one particular teacher in his church.  He said, “He teaches us more than just information, he teaches us how to think.”

His simple comment communicates a profound principle.  The art of thinking is more than just an ability to remember and rehearse events and facts.  The act of thinking is also woven into the fabric of belief.  People create what they think.  And, the creation process is multifaceted.

Creation is a mingling of the physical and the mental.  The two are fully integrated.  They are not divisible.  Barbara Corcoran, a businesswoman, investor, syndicated columnist, and television personality, was speaking of this principle when she said, “Finding opportunity is a matter of believing it’s there.”

She didn’t know it at the time, but she was describing the guy who started me on this process of discovery.

“You know me!”  He said.

I do know him!  Now I know him much better than I did, because a lengthy process of observation and comparison. Now, these many years later, he still has a knack for finding opportunity.  It’s something I’ve watched him find over and over again.  And, as I said, at first, I thought he was just lucky.  But, when that luck seemed to be following him around like a pair of tight jeans I had to wonder.  Was there something beyond luck happening here?

Believe there is.

Believe there is a path for you to follow. 

Believing it’s there is the first step!

“My brother just called and said he has a modeling gig!” – Nancy Hatcher

Even When Broken

Nancy was enjoying the warmth of The Gallery.  It was a cold day, but as always, she was wearing a bright smile.  She also felt the need to have a conversation, even though she had just finished a phone call.

“My brother just called and said he has a modeling gig!” Nancy said with a sparkle in her eye.

Her brother, Dean Martin (no, not the famous singer), had been diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago.  His physicians tried to attack it without surgery, but it soon became apparent that they could only save his life by performing a radical procedure.  In the end, the doctors removed one of his legs, hip and a large part of his torso.  In all, he lost just about one third of his body.  That would destroy all of the joy and hope for some people, but not for Dean.

“Dean hasn’t lost his sense of humor in any way!”  Nancy continued.  “I just don’t know how he does it.  But, it’s clear that the doctors couldn’t cut that part of him away!”

When Dean is out in public, people are drawn to him because he’s so different physically.  And, by the time they walk away they realize they were drawn-in by his character and personality.  That’s what allows him to reach others in a such a unique way.  This exceptional combination of inimitable physical distinction with indominable personality has made him a applied teacher.

“People can look at me and immediately see that I’m broken.”  Dean says.  “I think at first they’re shocked.  But, when they see I’m open and approachable about my brokenness, they relate to me almost immediately.”

People can empathize with Dean because every living person feels broken in one way or another.  And, when another person sees that Dean’s broken condition is generally far worse than what they’ve faced, they want to know how he’s been able to deal with it so positively.

“He is happy!”  Nancy says.  “He’s taught me that no matter what may happen to my body I can still live a happy life!”

And, happy he is!  Losing a third of his body changed Dean’s life in many good ways.

“I never saw myself as a teacher, as a source of inspiration, before cancer and my subsequent surgery.  Now I know that teaching, inspiring others, is my greatest talent.  It has brought me indescribable joy.  It has brought me a realization of fulfillment.  Even though I’m really only two thirds full!”  He laughed.

Nancy was enjoying the warmth of The Gallery.  Now we were both enjoying the warmth of Dean’s inspiration!  It was a cold day, but as always, she was wearing a bright smile.  She also felt the need to have an intimate conversation.

“My brother just called and said he has a modeling gig!” Nancy said with a sparkle in her eye.

And, what a model he is!  He teaches that all of us are broken in some way.  Sometimes it’s apparent to others and sometimes it’s not.  

“What matters is that we know one important thing. Even when one is broken, they can be happy and completely fulfilled; no matter the size of their tank!”  Dean chuckled.

“Tennis balls and tasty morsels”

Keeping a Constant Stare

“What would he want more?”  That was the question that kept turning and turning.  It turned likes the wheels of a vehicle driving past.  The kind of wheels that a dog like Harry Pupper just can’t ignore.  They seem to have an otherworldly grip on him.  He just has to give chase.  He can’t help himself!  It doesn’t matter how many times he’s been told no for his own good.

“What would he want more?  What would have the ability to capture his attention with the same kind of power?”  Those are the two questions I asked myself continually over, a seven-year period; a sum of his whole life.  

After all, the sum of anyone’s life adds up to what they pay attention to; what has the power to keep a hold on their eye.  For Harry, there are two things that can keep his constant stare.

The first?  Tennis balls and a buddy to throw them.

For some reason Harry has always struggled with stairs.  He fears them.  Even after lots of practice going up and down stairs, he is so nervous, as be begins, that he fails to fully commit to the climb.  That causes him to stumble on most occasions.  And, when the stairs are slippery to little paws, because they’re finished in a glossy wood, he freezes.  Well, maybe that’s a bit dramatic.  Let’s just say he simply refuses to climb them.  Until he one-day-realized that his beloved tennis balls are in a room just past the top of those scary stairs.

Knowing his play-balls are slightly beyond that staircase isn’t enough alone to inspire his courage to climb.  It takes a special combination of tennis balls with a buddy, he knows will be willing to throw the balls for him to chase, to confirm his resolution.  When this special combination is in place, he’s able to keep a constant stare.

It is his change in personal focus, what he wants more, that gives him the courage to climb stairs without help or additional encouragement.

The second?  Tasty treat morsels combined with specific direction.

“Off the road.”  I say, when a vehicle approaches.  “Quiet.”

He knows the words and their meaning.  But, the words alone are not enough to capture his attention.  The passing wheels are too demanding!  It takes a special combination to hold his stare.

So, I say the words while reaching into my pocket to withdraw a tasty morsel.  Harry hears the sound of the rustling bag. His eyes focus on the movement of my hand.  He sits, quietly, with an intent stare, knowing.  All signs indicate that his desire will soon be fulfilled.  So, he lets the rolling, attention requesting wheels, to roll on past without a second thought.

Attention requesting, really demanding, wheels have the ability to roll over little dogs.  They have no mercy and do not yield. That means Harry’s life is a constant contest of competing desires.  As it is for you and me.  Successful living requires keeping a constant focus on the Harry Pupper inspired, two simple questions.

“What do you want more?”  And, “What has the ability to capture your attention with the same kind of power as those seemingly otherworldly enticements?”  Whatever they are.

These are powerful, life changing, questions that, when asked and answered concurrently, allow a little dog, and people, to fix their focus on what they really want in life; to keep a constant stare.

“Please be in touch with someone to let them know that we’re “pulling for him!”

– Michael Perlman

Guardian

“I don’t know if it’s for public knowledge, but I do know you’re friends.”  Michael’s message started.

It wasn’t a surprise to receive such a message from Michael Perlman.  He is a guardian.

A guardian is a protector, defender, preserver, champion, custodian, guard, keeper, conservator, caretaker.  Such words define Michael, his business and life.

“And, would you like his wife’s phone number?  That way you can text her and give her your good thoughts.”  He continued.

I say I wasn’t surprised.  That’s because over the preceding years I’ve made note of Michael’s Rules of Guardianship.

You’ve heard it said, “It’s not personal, it’s just business?”  Such a concept is completely foreign to Michael.  His first rule?  It’s always personal!  He knows that sustainable business requires a deep, abiding personal relationship.  Successful relationships are always rooted in trust.

Trust, Michael’s second rule, is something that is earned over an extended period of time.  While some people look for a quick sale, he understands the difference between one sale and building a business.  Perhaps that’s because he established rule number one, first.  Business is always personal.  That means he pays particular attention to the particular matters of life.

Pay attention to the personal details is Michael’s third rule.

“Just heard multiple times from his wife!  His son had an extra-large liver, so they were able to give him a much bigger piece (like ¾ of his son’s) so that’s great! His son is now in recovery and he’s still getting his transplant sewn in.”

Sewn in!  Michael’s fourth rule.  He has the unique ability to stitch others into relationship.  In short, he’s inclusive.  He’s so inclusive that he created a large network of professionals to allow them to learn from each other, be more successful; to grow the pie.  It’s a group that has been together for many years.  And, it continues to grow because everyone chooses to participate.

Finally, Michael’s fifth rule.  Live life because you want to!  People are in Michael’s life because they choose to be there.  He personally draws them in.  He earns their trust over time.  He pays attention to the smallest details of their lives and he binds others together.  They stay together because they want to; because of Michael!

“I don’t know if it’s for public knowledge, but I do know you’re friends.”  Michael’s message started.

It wasn’t a surprise to receive such a message from Michael Perlman.  He is a guardian.

He’s my guardian and friend.  He’s my teacher.  And, the giver of Michael’s Five Rules of Guardianship.

I hope you’ll accept his gift!