Keeper of the Flame

The first day of Winter

Keeper of the Flame

It was the first day of winter.  The calendar date with the shortest amount of daylight every year.  So, at an early 6:30 in the evening it was already dark, icy and cold outside.  Yet, I was lucky enough to be walking into the warmth of a building that was filled with light and the comforting smell of soup and bread.

Upon entering this sanctuary, my lungs quickly filled with satisfaction and I slipped quietly into a seat in front of a small stage filled with people.  I recognized every one of them.  They were my neighbors and they were looking intently at my friend Shelly Dahl, their conductor.

This night Shelly was leading many of our friends as they participated as members of our neighborhood choir and orchestra.  Such gatherings have been a wonderful highlight in my life on two other occasions. 

The first was in high desert town in California’s Mojave Desert when a small group of us gathered to share our meager food supply and dance to the hypnotic music of a single harmonica played by our friend from Rockville, Utah. 

The second was in a desert north of the Empty Quarter, on the Arabian Peninsula, where a different group of us, homesick Americans and Europeans, had gotten together to share food and talent.  We listened to amazing instrumentals, sang, and laughed until our sides split.  It was a another memorable night in the desert. 

On this new night, in the high desert of Northern Utah, as soon as I looked forward toward Shelly, I had the feeling that I was also looking forward to a third such wonderful highlight in my life.  Shelly’s orchestra and choir members were made up of children and teenagers with a sprinkling of seasoned gray hairs.  And, these individuals all became one as they gazed at their leader.  Their sight was forward fixed on their conductor with a purpose; to change a night of cold darkness into joy, light and warmth.

The planned for transformation began immediately as they performed.  You see, Shelly is a “Keeper of the Flame.”  She has the ability to recognize the light inside of others, uncover it and draw it out. She sees a flame that most people can’t see.  Yet, she instinctively knows how to kindle it, stoke it, and make the flame dance.  You know what I mean.  Who hasn’t stared at a fire’s flame and been comforted, transfixed by its beauty?  The firelight Shelly drew from our neighbors was engulfing and caused me to be immediately comforted, mesmerized and transformed. 

In days past, society designated at least one person to hold an essential and special position as Keeper of the Flame to keep the community’s firelight active.  Sadly, we don’t have such a designation today.  Yet, at an early 6:30 in the evening on the darkest day of the year, when it was icy and cold outside I could see that we still have at least one.  My neighborhood has Shelly. My dear friend.  My neighbor.  My neighborhood’s Keeper of the Flame!

What could you and I do to become Keepers of the Flame?

Good Driving

Mel’s Kind Acts

Good Driving

Mel, a rural school bus driver would rise before the sun to wend his way along quiet country roads.  And, his acts were as bright as the sun in the lives of the children he served.  In fact, he hasn’t been driving the big yellow bus for more than fifteen years now and his goodness still shines in the hearts of those he served.  You see, Mel never saw himself as driving a bus exclusively.  He saw himself as a vehicle, a deliverer of goodness.

In the darkness of early morning I would stare into the black, watching for a good view of Mel’s school bus lights.  He completed his path in a timely way every morning.  Timelier than we would be, as we hurried our children to be ready for his arrival.  There were lots of days when he would wait patiently in front of our house, knowing that in a few moments the front door would spit out a couple of dashing kids.  Then there was one day in particular when only one of our girls emerged to walk the path toward his bus.  So of course, he walked a different path on a later day as well.

One late afternoon revealed a smiling Mel, striding up our sidewalk with his hands gripping a bouquet of balloons and a small stuffed companion.  He came to give hope and express his loving nature to our daughter who had just returned from a hospital stay and was battling a severe infection in her eye.  To this day, we believe him to be one of the reasons she recovered fully and didn’t lose that eye to blindness.  She looked forward to the day when she could be back on his bus each morning and afternoon.

One day I asked my girls if they minded being two of the first ones on his bus in the morning and virtually the last ones to get off his bus in the afternoon because of the design of Mel’s route.  When they replied, they had a quizzical look on their faces and said, “No! We really like it!”  Mel created an atmosphere they cherished and looked forward to five days each week.  He acted as their sunshine when there was none because of the early hour or because of a storm.

During a recent winter storm, I walked up the road in front of my home, with our little dog tethered to my hand.  It was in the early morning and I watched a big yellow bus approach.  I looked hopefully in the window to catch a glimpse of the driver.  I knew it wasn’t Mel driving.  But, even in the cold darkness of an early morning winter storm I saw that Mel was still delivering goodness into the depths of my heart as I remembered him with fondness.

No Virtual Community

“I’m Tearing up!” – Edward Ruddell

No Virtual Community

“I’m not kidding you!”  The voice on the other end of the phone said to me as she watched one of my county’s iconic barns flame the cold winter sky.

The picture of this beautiful structure dating back to the early twentieth century flashed across my mind.  Then my thoughts rushed to Edward and Lauren Ruddell, my friends who own the property.

“Lauren is fine.  She’s rightfully upset, but she’s O.K.  And, all of the animals are O.K., including the barn cat.”

By the time I arrived at the property it was a smoldering pile of ash.  Yet, it was surrounded by people! So surrounded, that It was hard for me to find a place to park.

When I got out of my car I was greeted by other neighbors and arrived just in time to see Lauren leading her small herd of goats back across the highway toward their home.  The neighbor across the street had given them shelter as the fire raged.  It was the first act of goodness I witnessed first-hand.

Another neighbor, a purveyor of hay, saw the Ruddell’s supply of winter feed evaporate before his eyes.  And, it was minutes before he arrived with gifted hay to get the animals through one cold dark winter’s month.

It was in winter’s chill that I saw others, sweeping, searching and comforting.  The scene was so warm that it melted the day’s chill!

Speaking of such generosity, Ed said, “My God, Lynn.  I’m tearing up!”

This tragedy has made many in our community tear up!  Our hearts are all hurting, but not wavering!  Because this story is larger than heartbreak, sorrow and despair.  It speaks to the very definition of community.

We hear a lot about community these days.  Mostly speaking of on-line communities. But, the love and support offered to Lauren and Ed is not virtual. It shows that we don’t really live in a virtual community.  We live in real communities with real people offering real love!

“I’m not kidding you!” The voice said on the other end of the phone as she watched one of my county’s iconic barns flame the cold winter sky.

“I’m not kidding you!”  I thought to myself as I watched real acts of kind goodness.  We live in something greater than cybernetic, something much more important and real, more than a virtual community!

Phil's Rules

Standing on top of a hill

Phil’s Rules

We stood on a hill looking out at the amazing view of the Wasatch Range of the Rocky Mountains and Utah Lake.  It was a sight to behold and it was inspiring!  The combination of our conversation and the view triggered another chain of mental gymnastics within my head.

We had come to this particular site of our own free will.  There was nothing wrong with it.  It was beautiful and would make a new owner happy.

“We bought it and we just never stopped looking!”  My friend Phil said to me as we talked.

One of the things I admire about this friend, Phil Grimm, is that he’s always looking for ways to do things better, ways to improve.  And, he does it freely, without being forced by other people or circumstance.  His focus is always on the result!

Living with the result of our actions is something we all do, for sure.  Phil’s approach to life results, reveals an important secret.  Here is Phil’s secret broken down step-by-step.  See if following them can make a difference in your life.

First, determine the outcome you’re seeking in advance.  Phil does this by gathering lots of information.  He never hesitates to interview as many people as necessary until he believes he understands what he wants to accomplish and how to get there.  Then he jumps right in.

Second, don’t worry about getting wet. “When you decide what you want, ‘nail it and scale it!’” Phil said to me once.  When a person decides to swim across a deep pool, she needs to jump in and get swimming.  She can’t get to the other side by only getting her feet wet.  Once fully covered in water a swimmer still has lots of options, strokes they can use to get to the other side.  So, jumping in won’t stop you if you’ve taken the time to learn different strokes before getting in the water.  You’ll be able to swim around obstacles as they appear.

Third, expect obstacles.  Things always change once you start down any path.  “Obstacles are something to expect!”  Phil says.  Obstacles are really a chance to gather more information and make change for the better.  Listen to the people that surround you in two ways.  Listen to their words and look for signs revealing obstacles you may be blind to.

Fourth, don’t be blind to the feedback you receive!  When you’re not getting expected results, results you expect or believe you deserve, it’s easy to point fingers and blame everyone else.  Even when others aren’t saying “I don’t want to work with you” they may be saying it in nonverbal ways.  “Look for the messages, then accept them easily so you can allow them to propel you forward as you make adjustments!”  Phil counsels.

Fifth, make life and business adjustments by choice.  Perhaps this is Phil’s greatest attribute.  Forced change always puts you at a disadvantage.  Always!  Following Phil’s Rules will open the way for greater success in a much shorter amount of time and with much less painful. Always! 

I followed Phil to the top of his hill recognizing that I might encounter some along the way.  And, standing at the top of the hill with Phil, made me forget any pain I’d had to get there.  Phil as shown me that deciding to get to a hill top makes a real difference.  

Where else can you get that view!