Building Exceptional Value

“We should not doubt our ability to affect others in a positive way.”

-Sharla Ellis

Building Exceptional Value

Annie was sitting in the black leather seat next to me.  She had her computer open and was reading.  It reminded me of years gone by when I used to drive her to and from school.  We’d work on her homework because it was a long drive.   Both of us have fond memories of that time together.  I glanced over at her and came back to the present time as I saw that it was an all grown up version of Annie.

“What is your civic responsibility?” She said to me so I could listen to her give me the answer she was preparing to give at an upcoming scholarship pageant.

I heard another voice in my head.  “I feel as if I’ve been riding on a ticket that was paid for by others who came before me my whole life!”  My mentor, Rex Reeve said to me once.

He was a great teacher who accepted me as a teenager and then molded me into a man.  He was able to recognize valuable personal traits, that were hidden to others, and showed me how to use them so I could be of benefit to others.

“Are you paying attention to me?”  Annie said as she stopped my trip back to California in an instant.

“Yes.  What I heard you say was, ‘our community is only strong if we, as individuals, are willing to give our strength and talents to others.’”

“Right!”

“Good answer!”  I replied back.  “When a person begins to understand that they can make an impact as an individual, the world begins to change immediately!  The whole universe is based on individual growth and learning.”

“I like what Gandhi said about that!”  Annie shot back.  “Be the change you want to see in the world!”

My friend Sharla says, ‘We should not doubt our ability to affect others in a positive way.’ 

Sometimes we think we’re insignificant and can’t do anything about the way things are in the world around us.  But, the truth is that the best way for us to make a difference is to be good people.  Understanding this principle makes things much more simple.  Small things make a difference!

“Being a good neighbor is so easy!”  I said to myself as I remembered how one of my friends once made a big difference for me.  I was walking home one day when my feet hurt.  My friend Danny Idom was driving by and asked if he could give me a ride.

“Sure!” I said.

Then I marveled that he had no idea what a great thing he had done for me!  He had no way of knowing how much my feet hurt that day.  He just did it because he is a kind, gentle person.  And, he thought he was just driving his car!

My drive with Annie came to an end, but our shared relationship was about to get more valuable.  We walked into a building where we volunteered with friends to help people we didn’t know.

Helping others creates exceptional value.  But extraordinary things grow from ordinary, small things. You and I are exceptionally valuable to each other when we do small, genuine acts of kindness.

Searching the Depths

“The seemingly un-extraordinary”

Searching the Depths

When one considers the phrase “Searching the Depths” lots of images may form.  One image may contain thoughts of a deep water submarine like the one that the U.S. Navy has been using to search for a missing Malaysian Airliner believed to have crashed somewhere in the Indian Ocean earlier this year.   In its search, this drone submarine has gone deeper than it has ever gone before, 15,000 feet below the surface, to try to find the missing aircraft.  That’s something like 2.8 miles below the water’s surface.  But this isn’t the deepest a submarine has gone.

At 5:52 p.m. ET Sunday, 12 March 2012, James Cameron arrived at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, 35,756 feet (about 7 miles) deep.  He’s the only man to have done so solo and is only one of 3 people in the world to have ever done it.

He reached bottom after a 2-hour-and-36-minute descent.  When he made it, the National Geographic explorer and filmmaker typed out welcome words for the cheering support crew waiting at the surface: "All systems OK."  Then, he stayed and explored the trench for about 6 hours.  When he was finished, he jettisoned steel weights so he could shoot back up to the surface where he could celebrate with his friends and crew.

These friends were celebrating the achievement of the extraordinary.  A feat that almost all of us will never participate in.  But, what of the rest of us?

We go about our lives and relationships not in an unassuming way.  We go tend to go through life in an assuming way.  Most days nothing around us changes so we get to where we don’t really notice much of anything at all.  We paddle on the life’s surface.  This was the case for me until recently.

I had struggled with making a major decision over the past few months and finally got to the point where I had made a choice.  I felt pretty good about it until sat down with a friend and told him what I was planning to do.  His reaction and depth of feeling were a real surprise to me.

“I’m shocked!” He said.  “Why would you do that?”

We talked for a few moments more and then he said, “I can see that there is nothing I can do to change your mind.”

I thought that was the end of the conversation, but it wasn’t.  Within the next few hours he had rallied some other friends, we had in common, and they asked if I would meet with them the next day.  Of course I told them I would.

When we sat down together it become immediately obvious to me that I had misjudged the depth of friendship I had with these people.  I had been spending my time paddling on the surface or our friendship and had never really explored the true depth of what we shared together.  Now I was the one who was shocked!

It wasn’t only their caring behavior that shocked me.  It was how I had been their friend for many years and had taken the relationships for granted.  It was as if I was the richest man in the world and never realized or enjoyed the wealth with which I was blessed.

So, I began to explore the depths of the great friends that were surrounding me.  When I did, there was immediate buoyancy that filled my entire body.  My mood became lighter and I felt fulfilled.  “All systems OK.”  So, I decided to stay and explorer my friendships for a few hours.

No I know, that it isn’t good enough to skim the top of life’s water and see only what floats on the surface.  To see the whole grandeur and wonder life has to offer you and I need to explore the depths of our own immediate world.  We need to dive in and see what others don’t see or appreciate in our circumstances and friendships.  When we do, we’ll be able to celebrate our extraordinary life with those we’ve made the journey with. 

Why live on the surface or dive a mere 2.8 miles into our lives when we can be one of 3 people who have gone the whole 7 miles?

Heavy Metal

“You can be Kind and do Good Things.” – Jeffrey Smith

Heavy Metal

“There is a huge piece of metal in our driveway!  Well, not really in the driveway, but on the edge of it.  I’ve been here most of the day and I didn’t see who dropped it off.  It’s weird.  It just showed up.  What is it?”  Annie excitedly said to me over the phone.

“I don’t know.”  I replied.  “I’ll look at it when I get home.”

It was late when I got home.  Since it was summer it was still light, even though it was about 9:20 p.m.  As I rolled into the driveway and curved around toward my garage there was no visual missing of the large steel structure on the North side of my lane.  As soon as I saw it, I knew exactly what it was.

Some months ago I approached my friend Jeffrey Smith, a talented metal artist, to mount a beautiful buffalo weathervane my wife’s parents had given us.  I knew he was right for the work because he has created so many wonderful pieces.  We discussed the commission in detail and I could tell he was excited to put his mark on this work.

As I spoke with Jeff I was a little concerned about his health.  I could see pain oozing from his eyes, even though they still had their natural sparkle.  My friend has struggled with back issues for many years and I could tell he was not doing so well.   I mentioned it to him, but he still wanted to do the work.  He said it would just take him a little longer.

As the months went on, I had many conversations with him.  He updated me on his health.  The updates were not very promising and I worried about his wellbeing.  As it turns out, my worries were well founded and I began to hear rumblings around our neighborhood that he had just undergone surgery.

When next I saw him, the same day I heard the rumor, I asked him if he was recovering from surgery.   He said, “No.  But, I will be having surgery within the next few weeks.”

I wished him well and told him I would do anything I could to help.  All thoughts of my weathervane project had vanished from my mind. 

But, miraculously, now the art was directly in front of me!  What a surprise!

Since this piece is about fifteen feet in height I was also amazed at its sheer size and impact.  I couldn’t imagine how Jeffrey built it, much less loaded and unloaded it.  I had to call him immediately.

When I reached him on the phone I thanked him from the bottom of my heart.  I also asked him what amount of money I owed him for his exquisite work.  His reply was typical of the big Scotsman with a booming tenor voice.

“Did you see the stainless steel plaque I put on it?”

“No.”

“It says, Jeffrey Smith – Lynn Butterfield, Erda, 2014, so you will always be able to remember.”

“That’s wonderful!” I exclaimed,  “but what do I owe you?”

“You can be Kind and do Good Things.” He answered.  “Go out and do good for other people.  That’s what I’d like.  Some people can’t understand it.  They just can’t wrap their mind around it.  But, it’s what I want our deal to be.”

“But!”  I responded.

“You see, we all have different talents.  You’re amazed at what I can do.  But, it’s easy for me.  We all have unique talents.  They’re given to us to share with others.  We need to share them with each other.  It will make the world more beautiful and a better place.  Will you do that for me?”

“Yes!”  Was all I could say.  I learned a long time ago not to argue with a man who has a chest the size of two fifty gallon drums and a grip of iron; especially when he always carries a big stick (A beautifully had crafted walking cane).  We would do well to follow the advice of such a man!

Be kind and do good things.

Living Life as a Genuine Question

“His story . . . began with a genuine question, not an agenda.”

Brad Cummings

Living Life as a Genuine Question

“I think you’re addicted to your phone.”  My friend Danny said to me.  “You have cradled it in your hands the whole meeting.  Why are you so afraid to miss something?”

What Danny didn’t know at the time was that I was involved in an important conversation with a couple of my daughters via text messaging for the roughly one hour we were in the meeting together.  It was a critical conversation that needed to occur during that time.  Of course, he didn’t know that was what was happening, so I explained it to him.

“Oh.” He said.  “I understand now.”

But, I also began to understand.  I really do spend way too much time on my phone!  It has become a “ball and chain” to me in lots of ways.  I use it for everything – speaking with people by voice and text as well as gathering all kinds of information.   You and I truly live in an information-networked world and it’s helpful in lots of ways.  But, I’ve found that it’s also giving us a very slanted view.

I began to read some really old books over the past couple of years.  Well, I say really old, but perhaps that’s in Internet time.  These are books written before nineteen hundred by residents of The United States.  Most of these aren’t available online in a digital format so I’ve had to resort to purchasing the real book in order to read it.  Imagine that!

What I didn’t imagine, when I began this process, is that the picture the books paint is completely different than what I assumed life to be like during that period of American History.  In fact, I have come to the conclusion that almost all of the modern thought I was taught in school, and is commonly believed today, is false!  It’s been real eye opening!

Now that my eyes have been opened I’ve had to take time, and am continually doing so, to reframe my entire world.  As my friend Danny pointed out, being so intent on what is happening currently and online isn’t so good for me.  Allowing persons with agendas to constantly push their point of view has caused me to miss much of the most important and basic information related to the entire founding of our society and way of life!  And, in the process, I’ve discovered an important principle pointed out to me my Brad Cummings, “Live life with a genuine question, not an agenda.”

Living anew, based on this principle, gives every person who does it a newfound freedom.  It‘s a freedom to see things in a fresh perspective unburdened by the agenda’s of those that have asked us to believe what they believe and be, as they want us to be.  It’s an opportunity for each one of us to, perhaps for the first time, to stop thinking and talking in short bursts of sound bite “truths” that are the communication means of our time.

So, what if living your life as a genuine questioner could really make a difference in your opinions, the quality of your life and what you offer to others?