An Inside Job

“This is my dog, Lola.  He’s a she!” – Landon Johnson

An Inside Job

“Let’s talk about healing” Angela said.  “If you want to satisfy an internal emptiness you must fill it with loving relationships.”

Even though I admire Angela Dodson and have trust in what she attempts to teach me, I have to admit that when she said these words I only heard them in my ears.  And, I’ve learned that the distance between my ears and my heart is vast indeed. That means my ears hear much more than what ends up being accepted into my heart. Allowing positive change to happen within one’s heart isn’t usually an instantaneous process at any age. Yet, it can happen to us at any age, as taught to me by four-year-old Landon Johnson.

“This is my dog, Lola.  He’s a she!” Landon exclaimed to me just three days ago over a video call.

I laughed at the time of his saying it, because his expression, though clear, was a little awkwardly articulated.  Then, as I pondered his words over the ensuing days I began to comprehend what I call “Landon J’s Guide to an Inside Job.”

First, just do what’s in your heart!  You might feel awkward about it, or in your abilities around what you want, but part of being truly genuine is to recognize your own unique approach to living.  Being you is all that is required.

Second. You can’t truly want something you can’t actually see yourself. That means If you only want what another person wants, you’re only seeing a copy. Think about that for a moment. The greatest originals, master pieces, are priceless! Copies are infinitely less valuable because they’re more prolific. If you want to be extraordinary instead of ordinary you have to put faith in yourself, in who you really are.

“This isn’t a joke! It isn’t funny!” Landon said as he heard me snicker after his pronouncement.

In reality I wasn’t thinking “it” was funny. I was thinking of his comments as a cute, priceless moment.  An all too rare of a moment when I could feel that nagging internal emptiness begin to shrink. A moment when I instinctively began to have a glimpse into what Angela was trying to instill into my heart. Yet, Landon’s sharp reply to my laughter ushered in new enlightenment.

Third. If you don’t believe it, why would anyone else believe it? Our belief in who we are, as an individual, is created by how we feel about ourselves. It has nothing to do with what other people think about us. Could it be important for you and me to be able to embrace our little idiosyncrasies? Would beginning to think of our own peculiarities as the personification of our individual charm allow us to have a greater belief in ourselves?

Fourth. Stop thinking about it! A four-year-old generally doesn’t spend a lot of time fretting about what other people think or how they “should” think about things. They live in a state of expression beyond the mind. This is a place of deeper truth. Perhaps it’s because they’re just beginning the process of getting to know themselves, on the inside.  Which leads me to another question. As a person grows in experience, knowledge and association with others is it possible for them to begin to live as only a “shadow” of who they really are?

Finally, it takes persistence to remain true to yourself. Could the world simply be a mirror, reflecting only how we feel about ourselves? Could we, like Landon, be misinterpreting the meaning behind the gentle laughter of others?

“Let’s talk about healing” Angela said.  “If you want to satisfy an internal emptiness you must fill it with loving relationships.”

Even though I admire Angela and have trust in what she attempts to teach me, It took recognition of Landon J’s Guide to an Inside Job, to traverse the vast distance between my ears and my heart. Allowing positive change to happen within one’s heart isn’t usually an instantaneous process at any age. Yet, Landon has shown that it can happen to any one of us, at any age.

Printing a Personal Portrait

“This is a time of more opportunity than ever before!” – Paul Gardner

Printing a Personal Portrait

“It’s the hardest job I’ve ever loved!” Paul’s message said.

Of course, this message piqued my interest, so I quickly accepted his generous invitation to get together to “catch up.”  Our get-together happened just yesterday in a quaint Japanese eatery.

“I was intrigued by what you said to me about your work.”  I said.  “Tell me more about what you’re doing.”

I already knew that Paul’s career has been focused on printing.  His experience is broad.  I also know how creative he is.  Perhaps the most important thing I know about Paul’s career is that he absolutely loves printing and the unique value it has added, and continues to add, to all our lives.  Through it all, he remains unabashedly excited about what he does professionally.  His face still lights up like a runway at an international airport whenever I talk with him about his work.  I’ve found that to be refreshing and a little curious, especially in today’s shifting economic environment.

My drive to our meeting was the perfect illustration of the more common view related to the state of today’s printing business.  While driving I passed several legacy, defunct printing businesses as I progressed toward my engagement with Paul.  Such vacant businesses and their still uninhabited buildings seemed to act as monuments to the printing business’ last gasp; printing as it was once done.  To many, they stand as tombstones, memorializing the end of a business era. They offer a vivid contrast to Paul’s youthful belief in and success in a new printing business era.

“Those who haven’t embraced new, available technology are also the ones who haven’t been able to identify the shifting waters of demand.”  Paul explained to me.  “This is a time of more opportunity than ever before!  I just love it!  There’s just something about holding a high-quality representation of your life or product in your hands.” he explained.  

Then he printed a more personal portrait of his enthusiasm, a picture worth more than all the words we had spoken.

“My father was really into genealogy during his retirement years.  He literally went all over the country, as well as overseas, to collect information that was about to be lost forever.  People would often just say, ‘Here. Please take this and preserve it.’ So, he carefully curated all of it through documentation and photography. The result is a miracle, made possible by new personalized printing technology, and I was able to assist him to create beautiful, bound, custom printed books containing all of his work.  My father is gone now, but I can pull one of those books off the bookcase shelf in my home, whenever I want and it’s like, feeling him in my arms once again!”

With that, all of my questions about Paul’s exuberance for his work had been answered.  His personalized portrait had been imprinted and framed deep within my heart.

“It’s the hardest job I’ve ever loved!” Paul’s message said.

Of course, this message piqued my interest, so I quickly accepted his generous invitation to get together to “catch up.”  Our get-together happened just yesterday in a quaint Japanese eatery.

The food we ate was good.  But the portrait he printed was invaluable food to nourish our hearts, minds and spirits.

“We need to do this more often!” I said as we ended our time together.

After all.  The opportunity to learn a master printer’s secrets and have a new personal portrait printed can never happen often enough!

Losing, And, Finding Yourself

“I’ve lost my keys.  I guess I’ll need to retrace my steps.” – Shavere Marinski

Losing, And, Finding Yourself

“I’ve lost my keys!”  My friend Shav said as we were talking on the phone together.  “It isn’t the first time.”  He continued.

Shav was talking about his car and house keys.  But those aren’t the only kinds of things that can be lost.  Since it was he and I talking and we’re close friends, I also remembered a time not long ago when we were having a very different conversation.

“I’m just at my wit’s end!” Shav explained with his head bowed toward the table we were sitting on.  “I seem to have completely lost myself!  My happiness and purpose have fled.”

Now I was listening to him outline the steps he was going to take to find his keys.  And, I marveled that they were the same steps he took to find meaning in his life again. Discovering that the formula for finding his keys, as well as himself, was the same was a substantial eye-opener. Here is his simple, yet powerful formula.

First, he began by retracing his steps.  Shav spent some quiet, internal time, walking mentally backward, from the exact moment where he first recognized his loss, vividly reviewing each step, one at a time, until he discovered some clues as to where he had last had what he was looking for.

Second, he next physically followed the path he had intellectually mapped out in sequence.  For example, Shav went to his closet and looked in the pockets of the last trousers he’d worn.  When what he’d lost wasn’t there, he simply followed his mental map and took the next step.

Third, as he was following his path he talked with others around him, asking if they’d seen what he’d lost.  One thing of import here is that even though those he approached didn’t know where what he lost was, they were really anxious to help him. After all, loss is universal to all. That meant he increased his capacity to work toward his success immediately when the very first person he spoke with volunteered to be of assistance!

Finally, he dedicated time and action to find what was lost. In other words, he decided to really focus on recovery and he found that engaging in the process itself generated new purpose and passion which grew with each small step he took!  There are a couple of other take-aways here.  

While finding lost keys is important and, in some cases, even imperative, finding keys often pales in comparison to Shav’s struggle to once again find happiness and meaning. In that specific regard here’s what Shav’s experience additionally illuminates.

When you find something, a goal or passion, you’re in love with, you automatically find the strength, passion, the courage, to go up against the constant tests that come at you every day.  When Shav became anxiously engaged in rediscovering joy he was transformed, not completely in an instant, but by gaining strength, step by step.

With each step forward, he discovered that his greatest personal power was hidden behind the thing he feared the very most; that he’d never again he happy!  Confronting this fear head-on allowed him to discover that he never would have awakened the talent secreted deep within himself had he not confronted the abysmal darkness he courageously chose to challenge.  And, it all started as soon as he decided to take even the smallest of all steps forward; retracing his steps back to a point where he remembered having what he once had.  Then, each incremental step increased his strength to continue on.

“I’ve found my keys!”  My friend Shavere Marinski said, just a day or so after our last conversation. But, as he was announcing this good news, I realized it wasn’t the most important thing he’s been able to reconcile recently.  And, I smiled, while enjoying the satisfied feeling in my heart, as I remembered a time, not long ago, when we were celebrating the recovery of his joy.

He had lost, and found himself again.

Slivers Underneath the Skin

“Look what I pulled out of that little red hole.”  Marv Shafer

Slivers Underneath the Skin

I heard that awakening ding.  You know the tone.  The one that alerts us that we’ve received a text message on our smart phones.  So, I looked down at the screen to see a most unusual, interesting photo.

 

I would never have known what it was without the message that went along with it.

“Look what I pulled out of that little red hole!” It was from Marv Shafer.

Marv is my neighbor, friend, and perhaps the bravest person I’ve ever known.  If you don’t know Marv you may be asking why I think he’s so brave.  Well, I’ll tell you.

About four years ago Marv was working in his field on his tractor, mowing weeds, when he hit something.  So, he climbed off the tractor and started toward his mowing deck.  When he approached the connection between the power-take-off and the deck, his pant leg was grabbed by the spinning machinery. So was Marv’s leg!

I looked back at the photo of Marv’s leg, the part that’s left, now mostly healed.

“It’s been in there hurting like a big sliver for 16 months.”  I continued reading below the photo.

“Wow!”  I replied.  I’m so glad you finally got it out.  What a blessing!  Keep removing the festers from inside and you’ll be fully healed in no time.”

Festers inside.  I thought to myself, realizing that all people, everyone one of us, have non-surgical festers we’ve been suffering from.  Many of these emotional, mental and spiritual festers are very small, just like that small piece of suture rejected by Marv’s body.  Yet, they can cause a tremendous amount of pain as they hide below our skin.

How can you and I similarly remove our own internal festering slivers?  Well, If I had the answers to that question I’d be the happiest person on the planet.  But I don’t, so here are some four thoughts to ponder.

First, recognize that many of the slivers you and I are harboring were delivered to us accidentally.  Holding on to the conviction that most people are good hearted and that forgiving others creates an opportunity for others to also forgive us of our unintentional wrongs is an essential cornerstone of hope.

Second, become aware of how your own faults are acting as a sliver delivery catalyst. To help myself with this I’ve created a little saying.  “I’m solving my mouth problem!”  This little saying helps to remind me that I just need to keep my mouth shut more often than not.  

Third. Understand the concept of “I’m a work in progress.”  That means we all need to recognize that working slivers out and stopping our accidental delivery of slivers takes time.  Often a lot more time that the 16 months it took for Marv’s body to spit out that suture.

Finally, know that time and concentrated work on our own inside-out is worth the effort.  Because the reward is the immediate removal of pain.  Many times, it is a seemingly instant removal of a tormenting pain that’s been there for years and years.

“After 2 days no pain!” Marv’s message continued.

Oh, and one more thing.  When you and I next hear that awakening ding.  You know the tone.  The one that alerts us that we’ve received a text message on our smart phones. Let it be an additional reminder that we, you and I, are dealing with lots of slivers under our skin.  And, if we’ll remember that most of these festering slivers have been delivered to us accidentally, become more aware of our own faults, understand that we’re all a work in progress and that time & concentrated work on our own inside-out can spit out even the smallest, most painful slivers we can become free from happiness stealing pain.

Each step takes bravery. But, pulling those little slivers from underneath our skin is worth it.  Be Brave.

Intentional Grounding

An intentionally grounded forward pass.

Intentional Grounding

“You’re moving forward in an intentional way!”  Angela Dodson’s voice said through my telephone.

I have to admit that at the moment Angela’s words penetrated my ears my mental focus inadvertently shifted from the important conversation we were engaged in.  Perhaps it was because it was a crisp fall Monday and I’d watched two local college teams play football games over the two preceding days.  So, naturally the movie within my mind recalled one pass in particular.  I guess if the truth be told, it wasn’t really a pass.

The quarterback was being chased by Goliath-like, mountain-sized men as his eyes scanned the field for an opportunity to pass the football to an open receiver.  I’m also sure his heart was screaming, “I’m going to die if I don’t get rid of this ball!”  So, just before he was crushed into something akin to Powerade Mixed Berry Sports Drink he purposefully threw the ball to a location off the field where no one could catch it.  And, a yellow hankie was thrown instantly thereafter!

“Intentional Grounding!  Offense.  Ten-yard penalty.”  Were the words that echoed throughout the virtually empty stadium.

“When you intentionally move forward in the direction you want to go, it makes all the difference in your ability to achieve success!”  Angela’s voice confirmed as she snapped my attention back to her, during my coaching session.

Angela has made a huge difference in the way I live my life, as well as in how I approach my business.  Change that originated as a result of the nuts & bolts details she’s imparted to me through personalized coaching.  Those results are the reason we’ve worked together for a few years now.  I’ve learned a lot from her and could never pass on every gain to you in a concise way.  There’s just too much information and growth for a “Cliff Notes” shortcut to yield beneficial use.  But, of all she’s given me, this once concept of living intentionally is perhaps the most beneficial; constructive through specific combination.

Living life in an intentional way is very different from just letting life serendipitously happen.  That’s not to say it eliminates the pleasure and joy of finding the accidental, fortuitous happenstance in living.  All of that surprise will still add delight for you.  Like the surprise I felt this football season when that same intentional grounding quarterback debuted a bunch of newly developed skills 

Over the off season his desire to transform himself drove him to drive about 10 hours, each way, every other week or so to work with one particular quarterback coach. True desire leads to true intentional living.  In his case, the burning desire to move past being a good player to transforming into a truly great player caused him to add new skills, such as mastering additional throwing angles, and other new dimensions to his overall game.

“You’re really on your way now!” Angela said to me right after I had outlined how my own desire had prompted me to shape and then begin to take specific steps toward increased success.  

“You’ve become grounded with intention!  It will make all the difference for you.”  She continued.

I have to admit that at the moment Angela’s words penetrated my ears my mental focus inadvertently shifted from the important conversation we were engaged in.  Perhaps it was because it was a crisp fall Monday and I’d watched two local college teams play football games over the two preceding days.  So, naturally the movie within my mind recalled one pass in particular.  I guess if the truth be told, it wasn’t really a pass.  It was intentional grounding.

And, now you and I have a little more understanding of how being grounded with intention, compelled and shaped by desire will allow anyone to add new skills, dimension and greater success to playing in the biggest game, called life.