When the Dealin's Done

“I just want people to know that it doesn’t matter what cards they were dealt.  They can exchange whatever cards they got with new ones!” – Cassandra Banks

When the Dealin’s Done!

I’ve never been a player of card games.  Still, when Cassandra used a card gaming analogy, even I got it!

Cassandra Banks has bright, engaging eyes and an infectious smile.  She, in her mid-forties, also continues to have at least as much energy as my three-year-old grandson, Landon.  And, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with a more positive outlook on life.  Cassandra simply gets it, even on an early Friday afternoon after a busy week.

We sat together in a business meeting on this particular Friday going through some, well, business.  And, as it turned out, she seized the opportunity do offer her unique, and well-earned, perspective on how to live a well-lived life.

I say well-earned because had you been sitting with us, you’d have looked across the same table and said to yourself, “This woman has it all together.  She’s vivacious, happy and successful!  She’s likely lived an enchanted life!  I’m sure she’s the product of an exceptional family life, filled with opportunity!”  And, had you come to this conclusion, as a result of the meeting, I would have understood.  But!  Your conclusions, while understandable, would not be correct!

“When I was a young child, my mother left us!”  She said.  “My father had a drug habit and when I was about ten-years-old, I found a cassette recording of his verbal documentation of all of the things he had done to me.  He was upset when he saw that I had found it, because he didn’t want me to hear it until after he was gone!  I think it was his way of attempting to apologize at his end”

I looked straight into her eyes as she was sharing her story with me.  And, I sort of expected to see tears welling up in her eyes.  But, that’s not anything like what I saw.  I saw wholesome resolve and compassion!

“When I turned eighteen, my foster family gave me the contact information for my mother.  So, I gave her a call, hoping I could begin to have a relationship with her.  When she answered my call, I introduced myself.  She responded with, ‘I have enough problems in my life and I don’t need to deal with your problems as well!’”

The strength expressed in her eyes shown stronger as she told me how, at that defining moment, she simply made the decision to cut her dysfunctional family out of her life because she didn’t want their bad influence and effects to continue to hurt her.  She made the decision to create her own positive, personal future at that very moment.

“I created a great life for myself, have a strong, loving immediate family and now I have an amazing grandchild!  I just want people to know that it doesn’t matter what cards they were dealt.  They can exchange whatever cards they got with new ones!”  She encouraged with a smile.

Cassandra’s encouragement made a difference for me at that very moment!  I knew she was presenting me, and you, with a philosophy for a new path, a passageway allowing us to leave the past in the past while creating hope for a longed for, dreamed for and anticipated, new life.

 Cassandra has shown all of us that we can choose to let the dealin’ be done!

Get What You Deserve

“I deserve to be paid more!” – Nelson Marpova

Get What You Deserve

I ducked into Nelson’s office.  He was already talking with another friend of ours.  We had been at a national economic outlook presentation a little earlier in the day.  I think our heads were all still spinning just a little bit because of the rosy projections presented there.

Yet, it was not all roses when I walked into the Nelson’s office.  The household income figures presented really got under his skin a little bit.  I could see why he was bothered.  It’s always difficult when you begin to believe that, seemingly, everyone is making more money than you are!

“I deserve to make more money!”  Nelson said.

“You do!”  I replied.

Our friend Monte looked up sheepishly and didn’t say anything at all.

“I’ve been thinking about making some changes, perhaps getting another job!”  Nelson continued.

I was a little surprised to hear that from him, as he works for a great company and he’s a commissioned salesman.  That means he has quite a bit of control over his income.  And, here’s the thing, in a way, we’re all in the same position, even if we’re simply selling our services to our current employer!  I’m a commissioned sales person and sometimes I start feeling the same way; I call it the “I Deserve Trap.”

Luckily, on this particular day, my legs were not being crushed in this common trap!

“Yes!  You do!”  I continued talking, with Nelson.  “But, you also have to earn it.”

He looked up at me as I talked.  He was seated and I was standing near his desk.  I could see his eyes begin to spin, round and round they went, as if acting in the role of gears to turn his brain.

“There is a difference between deserving and earning,” I continued.  “Everyone deserves more than they currently have.  That’s just one of the natural laws we all intuitively feel inside.  The trick is to, also understand the pursuit part of life’s equation.  We’re all free to pursue!”

Nelson’s eyes brightened as these words slipped through his ears to lubricate the spinning gears of his mind.

“I do deserve it, don’t I!” He said.  “I just forgot about the earning part for a minute!  Nelson said quietly.

I had quietly ducked into Nelson’s office just to make sure he was doing well and he, along with our mutual friend Monte, had no intention of rediscovering the I Deserve Trap that had been sprung into our consciousness during the national economic outlook presentation a little earlier in the day.  I’m pretty sure our heads were all still spinning, just a little bit, because of the rosy projections presented there.

No, it was not all roses as I walked out of Nelson’s office, but I could envision them beginning to bud, because he was once again confident in his ability to pursue his dreams.  He knew, again, exactly what he needed to do to get what he deserves.

I could see the determination in his eyes, as he was already at work figuring out the next steps to earn what he wants.

I opened the door to leave, looked back at Nelson’s determined eyes, and felt a greater resolve to keep my own legs free from the crushing grasp of the I Deserve Trap, by pursuing my own dreams too.

After all, we all deserve to go out and earn whatever it is we’ve decided, we deserve!

Throw it Away!

“I have a goal of throwing one thing away each day.” – Steve Maranville

Throw it Away

As soon as I reached his home I called, just as Steve asked me to.

“Hi Steve, I’m here.  Would you like me to come to the lobby?”  I asked.

“Whatever you’d like.”  Steve replied.  “You can meet me in the lobby or I can meet you at the curb.”

Such a response wouldn’t be unusual from almost anyone.  But, Steve isn’t like any other person I know well.  That’s because Steve can’t see!  But, he isn’t blind!  Perhaps I need to tell you a little more, so you’ll understand what I’m saying?

Steve was raised by his mother’s parents.  “They raised me as if they were my parents!” He explained to me once.  “They loved me and cared for me very well.  But, I still felt this deep sense of loss because I had lost both of my parents.”

“Then, just as I was entering my seventh year of life, my eyesight began to fail.  By the time I had my seventh birthday, I could hardly see.  I became pretty much completely blind very quickly!  It was a challenging time for me!”

It was a challenging time for everyone in Steve’s life!  One of his teachers at school finally called his grandparents to tell them he was having a difficult time dealing with change.

“When the teacher asked us to change our activity I would simply continue to do what I was doing.  I was desperate to feel as if I had control over something in my life!  I guess I was doing the best I could do to deal with all of the changes that had occurred in my younger years.  Now I have a goal of throwing one thing away each day.”  Steve explained to me.

No.  That doesn’t mean he’s in the habit of throwing his physical possessions out, even if they’re still of value to him!  He was talking about throwing out the hurt he’s accumulated along the way.  It’s the way he began to embrace change and growth.

“I think that’s what I love about what I do!  I think it has made my ability to help entrepreneurs develop and grow new companies effective.  It’s my passion!  I simply love it!  Perhaps I can see some things that others just can’t?”  He quipped.

Steve has had a great sense of “vision” humor ever since I’ve known him and our time eating lunch together on this occasion was no different.  We laughed a lot as we ate, as well as on our way back to his home.

Upon our arrival we walked arm in arm to his front door where we embraced before parting.  I walked easily up the concrete path to my car.  I could clearly see the way.  I opened the door to my car, sat in the driver’s seat and paused; wondering at all the things in my life I’ve allowed myself to become blind to.

Steve Maranville has shown me that there is a difference between not being able to see and being blind!  And, that there are plenty of things burdening growth in my own life that I need to throw away, one day at a time.