With Open Arms

“He called.  I borrowed a trailer and drove to Michigan immediately.” – Tracy Di Nardo

With Open Arms

“I’ve always thought the most important thing is to show my children consistent, unconditional love.”  Tracy explained.  “That way, they’ll come to understand you’ll really, always be there for them.”

Then, there was one day, when her only son suddenly packed his things and left their home with hardly a word.  All Tracy and the others in her family knew was that he was going to Michigan to live with some girl and her parents.  People they didn’t know.

“It caught us by surprise!  Completely!”  Tracy said.

This wasn’t only a love challenging circumstance for Tracy alone.  It deeply affected the whole family, making them all question their relationship with the young man.  It caused them to question their own actions over a lifetime of about twenty years.  But, it never caused Tracy to question her love for her son!

“It’s one thing to espouse a core principle such as unconditional love when your belief has never been contested!  Then, something challenges you.  Hits you right in your heart.  That’s when you face a ‘gut-check’ moment.  The moment you’re forced to look deep inside your heart and ask, ‘do I really believe this?’”  Tracy imparted.

Her anguished questioning didn’t last for a day or two.  It didn’t even last for a month or two.  It lasted for more than two years.  Two years of worry, guilt, introspection, and of course, great hope.  What did she do?

First, she reminded herself of her core belief every single day.  An undying belief that her love for her son was indeed unconditional.  “I had to stop all thoughts of punishing him!”  She said.  “I said to myself, this is your chance to walk your talk!  It taught me a lot about myself, my beliefs, and what true love is.”

Second, she constantly reached out to her son to reassure him of her presence.  She wanted him to know she was still there for him and she would never abandon him.  “I did this on an almost daily basis.  At first, there was hardly a response from him.  But, after a couple of years of continued, faithful effort, I think he began to believe me.  And, to believe in me.”  Tracy shared.

Finally.  She seized opportunity.  “I’ll never forget the day my son called me and said, ‘I made a mistake!’ can I come home?”  

“He called.  I borrowed a trailer and drove to Michigan immediately.”  Tracy said.

It took her two days to drive from Utah’s Wasatch Mountains to Michigan.  When she arrived at her son’s residence they embraced.  She said, “Once he was in my arms again I didn’t ever want to let him go!  But, oh yah, there was that additional driving I needed to do!”

“I’ve always thought the most important thing is to show my children consistent, unconditional love.”  Tracy explained.  “That way, they’ll come to understand you’ll really, always be there for them.  And when that moment comes.  That moment when your lifetime of talking ends and your unconditional love is wholly accepted by a loved one, as an undeniable truth; that moment provided the most powerful emotion I’ve ever experienced!”

Talking really does end with a genuine offering of open arms!

Beyond our Familiar

“It was like uprooting a giant oak tree!” – Sue Cook

Beyond our Familiar

Her call came last night.  It was about two things.  First, her long trek from the Pacific Northwest to the Ohio Valley.  And second, it was about the huge task, mostly mental and emotional, of moving.

“It was like uprooting a giant oak tree!”  Sue Cook explained.

Sue’s is an apt description of what it means to be filled with human nature and how being human affects any movement beyond one’s familiar.  Let her words become a vivid picture.

Visualize a California Live Oak, for example.  It stands seemingly aloof, spread from many others of its kind.  Yet, it has familiarity with its environment and other oak trees where it stands.  If you were to stand underneath such a tree and look straight up its trunk, you’d see branches and forks pushing up and around all of its sides until the branches become smaller toward their end where they are adorned, decorated, by beautiful leaves.  The leaves are high up. You can’t touch them unless you climb the tree.  It’s huge!

If you question its size, picture yourself on the ground, standing at the base of the trunk.  Then, wrap your arms around it.  See if you can touch your own left and right fingers together.  If the tree is old, when that tree has been in place for perhaps one-hundred or more years, most people will be unable to reach all the way around its circumference. With your visualized arms around the tree, see yourself exercising all of your strength and try to uproot the tree up!  

That’s what it often feels like, when we humans attempt to contemplate what it would take to leave the familiar.  To extract our roots.  Yet, that’s what Sue and Paul Cook have done!  They’ve asked and answered two important questions.  Questions you and I might choose to contemplate.

Their first important question they asked themselves was, “What do we have to believe?”  And, the second is like it.  What if this works?  

These are the same two questions asked, on the very same day by Justin Agers and Susan Monroe.

Justin explained, “I told the guys I work with where we were going.  They just gave me a confused stare and then said, ‘who’d want to go there?’.  It made me kind of nervous, but now that I’m here I can tell they’ve never been here before.  Otherwise they’d never say that.” 

Susan followed with, “It will be just us coming.  I have two grown daughters and they’ll be staying where we live now.  They just can’t grasp living with the possibilities of, ‘what if this works?’”

Are you and I obligated to believe what everyone around us trusts and imagines?  Are we to put aside our inner stirrings of wanting and hoping for something better and more than our current familiar?  Could we temper our fears and insecurities by giving ourselves hope and promise by asking that second great question again and again?

So, what if this works?  What is the upside if I have the courage to leave the familiar behind?

“It was like uprooting a giant oak tree!”  Sue Cook explained over the telephone.  But Sue, Paul, Justin and Susan have done it, so perhaps you can I can gain internal conviction to do so by asking ourselves those same two questions.  

If we ask sincerely, with full purpose of heart, then we’ll find and enjoy our own, new inner-conviction and knowledge.  Knowledge that while we won’t likely have success every time we venture away from the familiar, our attempts to do so will be worth it.  Because, there is that one move.  The right move, when we’ll be able to sit back and think of how far we’ve come.  Because, we will have been rewarded with a life which is wildly better than what was our once-familiar and beyond what we ever imagined we could have hoped for.

Lola's Love

Lola, who always gave love.

Lola’s Love

It all started on December 12, 2009.  For most, this date has no significance.  But, it is the date of creation; the genesis of “Lola’s Love.”  It wasn’t Lola’s wedding date.  It wasn’t even the date of her birth.

She was born not long before this date and was given as a gift of love, just a few weeks after her birth.  She was received as a gift yet always gave innumerable gifts. 

Upon receiving her, Kilee Johnson immediately gave her the loving pet-name, “Little Fluffer” almost as soon as she saw Lola’s silvery, speckled with white, curly fur covered body.  It was love at first sight for both Kilee and Lola.

Sometimes, love at first sight is a fleeting emotion.  But, Lola would not allow such a thing to occur in her world.  She seemed to instinctively know exactly how to create a special, deepening kind of love.  And, she did it in many ways.

Lola always joyously greeted everyone who came her way.  She developed her own voice to do so.  Garrison Johnson loved the way she spoke directly from her heart to her loved ones.  So, Lola quickly received another nickname of love, “RooRoo” because of her style of verbalizing a greeting.

Lola was welcoming in other ways too.  When Landon was born into the Johnson clan, Lola welcomed him, and his brother Asher, into her inner circle and became their protector immediately.  She always had an expanding kind of love that knew no limits.  That was true for every addition into her life.  She was always inclusive.

She included love no matter the specific circumstance.  When an occasion was joyous she would “roo” and dance with excitement.  When sadness struck, as it always seems to occasionally do, she would simply snuggle and caress her hurting person.  She’d do this for minutes, hours or days, as needed.  What mattered most to her was just being there!

Lola always wanted to be there, with those she loved, no matter what.  As the years began to take their toll on her small body she walked a little slower and couldn’t jump quite as high.  There were times when the pain from her arthritis would cause a weary look to shadow her face.  Yet, it didn’t stop her from continuing to give Lola Love.

Even in pain she was still excited to climb, with help, into the family car every morning and afternoon.  It isn’t that she loved to ride in the car.  She loved going with Landon and Asher to and from school.  So much so that she’d be heartbroken if she didn’t get to go.

Then, one day Lola just couldn’t muster the strength to go anywhere at all.  Age had finally caught up to her.  And, the love that was solemnized on December 12, 2009 and had kept her going strong until just last week.  Now we all miss her.  But, we’ll remember her and the things she taught us about love, Lola’s special kind of love.  

After all, she taught us how to deepen our love for others by joyously greeting everyone, loving even under difficult personal circumstances, to be there just to snuggle when needed, to have an expanding love that knows no limit and take time every day to enjoy the small things in life, like going to and from school with those you love.

If we would love as Lola did it, it would be a more glorious world indeed!

Never Doubt

“Never doubt why things happen to you.” – Greg Blackbourn

Never Doubt

“Never doubt why things happen to you. There is always a positive. ALWAYS.” Greg Blackbourn said as he recounted a recent personal experience as a way of illustrating his unwavering belief. 

His day was filled with reasons to doubt. He had a client who came late to his appointment.  As a result, Greg was late arriving at his next appointment, in the center of the city. That caused this client to reschedule, as they didn’t have enough time to complete their business by the time Greg arrived.  It was a disheartening day!  And, that was about to change.

“I was downtown and driving and saw Taco Time and was going to go through the drive thru to get some food.”  He said. “There were at least 10 cars in the drive-up lane, so instead of joining the packed line I decided to just park and go inside.” 

Once standing in the line to order, two people just cut in front of him as if he wasn't there.  At first, he was going to say something to those place-hoppers, but then just thought, “it's not that huge of a deal.”  He knew he was going to get his food soon enough.

And, he did. This was his chance to take a deep breath and receive some refreshment toward the end of a long, disappointing day.  It was this moment of anticipated relaxation when everything changed.

“There was a guy in a Utah Shirt (Utes) at the table next to me.  All of a sudden a man in a motorized wheelchair, that has some severe mental and physical disability, came in between our tables. He started to hit us both in a panic.”

Other people looked at what was happening and ignored the whole thing. They looked the other way and acted as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.  Greg continued his account.

“The Ute Fan and I both realized, at the same time, he wasn't attacking us. He was choking and couldn't breathe!”

Without a word between them in, unison, seemingly synchronized movement, both Greg and the other diner jumped up and put the breathless person into position to receive the Heimlich Maneuver, hoping it would save the choking man’s life. 

Pop! The blockage in his airway was dislodged and within seconds, the panic was over!

“He couldn't communicate well, but the words thank you came out clearly to us.”  Greg said.  “I asked if he was O.K. and he nodded.

The man’s other rescuer followed with, "I'm so sorry you had to experience that and I am glad you came to us!" 

With that, the man in the wheelchair smiled and drove away, leaving his two champions grinning at each other. Mountains of information was exchanged through that smile before Greg’s new friend said with hesitancy, "I have to leave. Can you?"

And, before he could finish Greg said "I got this and will wait until he is done eating before I leave." 

So, Greg sat there for another ten minutes, just to make sure their new chum could finish his meal safely.  

Greg could have been harboring an enduring resentment over his first client of the afternoon being late. He could have held onto anger about driving all the way from Sandy to downtown, through heavy traffic, only to have his next appointment reschedule. He could have been impatient and drove off, in anger, before making the seemingly insignificant decision to walk inside a restaurant to eat some dinner.  He could have shown hostility toward the people who cut in line ahead to him. But, had he done any of those things he wouldn't have been able to help a total stranger.

“I'm telling you this because sometimes I am guilty of letting little things get to me and letting them change the course of my day and mood too often. But, on this one, life changing day, I chose to not let little things get to me. And it impacted me for the best!  Greg reflected.

Greg always encourages everyone to become “their most genuine, best self.”  Yet, all of his coaxing cannot rival the same, more impactful message conveyed through his example. 

“We have become so busy in our world that we ignore our surroundings and are looking for instant gratification too often.”  Greg says.  “We find ways to attack other people that don't see the world the way we do. Everything is polarized when we have these blinders on. Thankfully, one Ute Fan slowed down with me on this day, so we could share the unspeakable joy of saving someone's life together.”

Greg’s finished his account with, “Find reasons to not let others take away from your happiness and be more present. It can save a life. Never doubt why things happen to you. There is always a positive. ALWAYS.”

Never doubt it.

The Back 40 Loop

“Great stuff. Lots of fun and flow.” – Patrick Jones

The Back 40 Loop

He looked sincere and excited as he said, “I live here because of the trails.  I love to ride my bike on the ‘Back 40.’”

The Back 40 isn’t simply a world-class mountain bike riding trail; it’s a testament to both sport and life. These 40 miles will make you feel like you’re in the middle of nowhere, but are rideable.  And, the trail has some image evoking section names, such as Slaughter Pen and Blowing Springs. He said with a slightly turned-up smirk, as he continued his description.

There are easier trails to follow for sure.  There are some harder ones as well.  He interprets The Back 40 Loop as intermediate.  And, it’s so easy to feel his excitement as he talks about the trail’s attributes, such as the trail’s wooden outcroppings which are seemingly, miraculously gripping the sides of shear rock cliffs.  He also loves riding in the overhanging shade of those same cliffs.

In a quip, Patrick Jones called this trail, “Great stuff.  Lots of fun and flow. But, the razor-sharp rocks proved formidable foes to our sidewalls.”

That one phrase, formidable foes, seemingly triggered a shift in his position and he effortlessly transitioned from talking exclusively about his bicycling adventures to how riding trails actually “saved his life.” 

“Mountain biking has taught me some important things.  Things about the power of exercise, the importance of distraction through recreation and most importantly about how to break free of painful Back-40-Loops in life.  Because, sometimes it can feel as if a difficult or dark cycle in life is inescapable.  So, here are my four painful-loop-breaking tips.”  Patrick said.

First, focus. Be fully absorbed within your present moment.  “I’ve found this to be especially important when riding through very difficult or technically challenging sections of a trail.  Not giving such a trail my full attention will almost always result in a crash!  In these situations, there can be no room in my mind for thinking back, re-living the past, or about what may be ahead on the trail.”  

Patrick also says that when he learned this, he discovered its unique ability to increase his joy.  “It gave me the emotional room necessary to increase inner joy, by allowing me to savor what I call, moment-by-moment accomplishment!” 

Second, choose joy as much as possible. “Interestingly, I learned that the most challenging trails, those that hold my attention fully, give me the greatest sense of accomplishment!”  There is something about being fully absorbed, tuned-in, to one particular moment or challenge that gives a person a greater sense of fulfillment.  “Sure, navigating difficult terrain, is well, difficult!  But I think humans are hard-wired to work and overcome.  That’s why we purposefully do things that challenge us. Allow yourself to claim joy by working toward triumph.”

Third, be actively grateful.  “I use the term actively grateful because for some reason, sometimes people seem to think that gratitude is something that just happens. It just kind of magically happens.  I guess that can be the case, but when I finish a ride my sense of gratitude is heightened by spending a well-deserved time of rest, relaxation and reflection.”  

Patrick says this is especially true when he takes the time to sit with friends, share a cold drink, and become a storyteller about how close he came to certain death while riding the trail. “That’s when it hits me most!” He says, “I think to myself right then, ‘wow!’ I can’t believe I just did that!  Then, I let a warm rush of accomplishment, a feeling of ‘I’m just grateful to still be alive’ fill my soul.”

Fourth, surround yourself with support from people who understand.  “Some people can ride alone forever and be happy.  People with that proclivity tell me that riding is what they love.  I get that, but when I share the ride, the experience, with others who ‘get it’ my joy goes to a whole new level!”  He also says that when he reaches a spot on the trail with an amazing view and he’s all alone, he wishes he could share it with someone.  But, that’s only part of his story.

Patrick also says there are plenty of times when he needs to discuss how to make it through trail obstacles with someone.  Someone who understands and has been there before.  Even if he can’t find someone who’s been on that particular trail before, discussing it with someone who’s experienced a similar situation, and conquered it, can make all the difference!  Shared pain is often more manageable pain.  And, an outsider’s perspective can often guide someone else toward finding purpose in what they’re experiencing.

He looked sincere and excited as he said, “The Back 40 isn’t simply a world-class mountain bike riding trail, it’s taught me how to break free of painful Back-40-Loops in life as well!”