Vigilant Love

“It was my last measure of service.”– Paula Maddock

Vigilant Love

I received an important call from my sister Paula.

“I think you should come.  It appears as if Dad will pass away within the next day or two.”

When the call was finished I kept the phone in my hand and began to touch numbers so I could rearrange my calendar for the day.  I finished another meeting and then drove the hour to see my father.

Paula was there, just as she had been for the past few months.  I visited with her and other family members who came to say their goodbyes and demonstrate their devotion.  And, through it all, I learned that devotion is just as different and distinctive as is every individual.

We all live different, individual lives and make choices based on our circumstances and talents.  At first glance one may surmise that Paula’s retired circumstance was the genesis of her dedication.   But that would not be accurate.  I knew that, but wanted to know more.

So, when Paula called to tell me that our father had passed away I asked, “have you been there the whole time?”

She said, “yes.”

I asked, “Why did you sit up with him the entire night?  Why did you stay with him, awake, for the duration?”

The question caused an automatic response.

“I didn’t want him to die alone.” She replied.

But, I wanted a more illuminating answer and pressed her for more.

“I wanted to give him my last measure of service!”  She deepened.

A last measure of service!  I repeated it within my mind over and over again.  It described something extraordinary.  An effort that continues past convenience, past a simple availability of time and into the depths of what it means to love.

True love can only be achieved through service.  And while it can only be obtained by serving, it is at the same time, a measuring stick of affection.  After all, without true love a person would never tend to the needs of a desperately ill child, or sacrifice time, money and status to care for another person.  Certainly, a person would not abandon the comfort of their soothing bed, for a full night, to give comfort, devotion and vigilance to their dying father.

May we all show vigilant love so when our cherished ones think about their relationships with us they will recognize that the depth of our love is not measured a toothpick, but by the height of a Giant Sequoia.

Receiving Tender Mercies

Tory Wilson

Receiving Tender Mercies

Deafening silence right after a loud gasp caused me to turn immediately.  I looked across the floor to see Tory lying still, perceptively motionless.  There were 28,800 eyes staring in disbelief and horror.  They recognized cruelty when they saw it!  They also knew tender mercy when they saw it. 

A svelte, strong man ran over and swept her up in his arms, off of the carpeted floor, and they began to walk as one toward the training room. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and her head was cradled against his chest as he crossed the arena floor.  Everyone in the arena stood and applauded.  Even the opposing teams and their fans joined in the reverence.

The reverence was not just a result of the injury.  It was a universal demonstration of appreciation.  Tory had won everyone’s respect through performance that very night.  She had captured all hearts at the beginning.

I was sitting next to the head judge for the vault as the PAC 12 Championships began.  When Utah’s team was introduced, the crowed roared.  She turned to me and mouthed one word, WOW!  I had to read her lips as the wave of sound swelled until it swallowed everything.  That was just the start of amazing performance.

I was excited when Tory began her vault.  Anticipation filled the air.  She completed the scene with perfection!

“She’s the best blocker I’ve ever seen!”  I said to the head judge next to me.

“It gave me chills!”  She replied.  “I felt goose bumps running all up and down my arms.  See, I wrote ‘gave me goose bumps’ on my scoring sheet!  I’ve never given anyone a 10 before!”

I caught a last glimpse of Tory being carried into the tunnel; her perfection temporarily masked by injury.  At this moment she was a little more like the rest of us.

There are times when all of us need help from others, when we need to receive mercy due to circumstance.  Tory’s injury shows that even the strongest and best of us face such times.  And, she has also demonstrated perfect grace in receiving mercy of others.

Tory will heal.  She’ll receive the best care possible.  She’ll continue to feel the love of everyone she has shared her gifts with.

I’m excited to receive her greatest gift.  Showing that we will all need care and mercy from others at some point.  And, when we do, we should accept mercy with grace, allow others to care and help heal us and then vault into a bright future with renewed strength.

Emotional Touchstones

Special Olympic medals carefully removed. – Karen, Special Olympian

Emotional Touchstones

Karen was sitting across the table from me.  I watched as she reached down to her side and pulled her backpack up and onto her lap.  She quietly unzipped the bag and made several withdrawals.

The bag was acting as her personal bank.  Her withdrawals were brightly colored medals attached to flowing ribbons.  She had won every one of them during Special Olympic competitions.

“This is perfect” I thought to myself.  “Medals of accomplishment being lovingly caressed in the middle of a Special Olympics Board of Directors Meeting.”

They demonstrated her accomplishments and gave her courage.  It was her turn to give a report to other members of the board.  When she heard her name she straightened up, looked around at the others sitting at the table and gave her report.  She did a great job.  But, she wasn’t finished.

When her verbal report was complete, she picked up one medal.  She wrapped it in circular fashion and then placed it on the table in front of her.  She soon had all of her medals in a neat row in front of her.  Finally, she returned all of them back in her pack and I watched a smile filter across her face.

I had seen such a smile before.  It crossed the face of my mother one day when I was visiting her.  We had been talking about her accomplishments and how she had overcome the challenges she had faced and overcome during the course of her life..

“When I feel sad I review the greeting cards I ‘ve received from my friends and family.  I read them again and I’m soon feeling good and confident once more.  Their messages of love give me the courage I need to face and get over the hurdles I’m facing.”  My mother said to me.  Then I watched that same smile of contentment spread across the width of her face.

Remembering her smile brings a smile to my own face.  I’ve found that I can jump a little higher, run a little faster and face my challenges with more courage when I have this type of smile on my face.  It’s a smile that can only come from using emotional touchstones to generate internal strength.  What touchstones can you withdraw from your personal bank?

Accelerated Change

“How do I make myself over and over again?” – Mike Skinner

Accelerated Change

Mike Skinner was sitting next to me, near my left elbow.  He is the former President of Coinstar, an International company that processes more than $3 billion of coins annually.  He’s one of America’s best and brightest! We were enjoying a lunch meeting, working together with other allies, to speed economic development in Idaho through Cooperative Venturing™.

Cooperative Venturing is the Wayne Brown Institute developed process of combining extraordinary business talent with promising early stage, economy-accelerating companies.  Its whole purpose is to accelerate change for the better.  Better means higher paying jobs, a more agile economic base and increased wealth for everyone.  It’s focused economic change.  But, it is also change on another, more basic level.

It embraces the most vital parts of capitalism, individual creativity and self-interest, while altering the competition model through cooperation.  So, Cooperative Venturing is a counter intuitive process that takes time to understand.  It is challenging to implement because of the ever-present human drive for selfish personal profit.

So, It’s impossible to implement without the proper framework in place.  That’s what this lunch was about.  Creating the necessary cooperative framework on a statewide basis.  It is a framework that needs have guardianship and the flexibility to change constantly as new components are always necessary.

Mike was addressing the challenge of this standard by asking the question “How do I make myself over and over again?”

That’s when I thought of you and how I could apply this concept to personal growth.  And, it dawned on me that you and I could use the principles of Cooperative Venturing to accelerate our own growth.  What can we do to accelerate change for the better?

One common phrase used to describe someone who has changed for the better is “He is a self-made-man.”  And, it describes a competition based personal model.  But a faster, more effective personal change model requires a small shift in focus to one of cooperation.

“Hi Dad, I need to talk with you, but I’m having lunch with my mentor.  May I call you when I’m finished?”

It was my daughter Kilee calling me from Ohio where she is rolling out a new initiative for Wal-Mart Corporation.  She applies the principles of Cooperative Venturing exceptionally well.

She watches for openings to make positive changes, puts a plan in place to make the change possible and then builds a team of real smart and talented people from a national talent pool to cooperatively roll it out across the corporate system!  It saves her company millions of dollars every year.  It makes the company stronger and better!

So, how do you and I make ourselves better over and over again?  We watch for areas where we need to improve, we make a plan to create change and then we reach out to the smartest and most talented people we can find to help us.  But there is a trick to this.

Make sure you’re constantly obtaining new human resources.  Old friends are great!  But, had I never met Mike and befriended him, I would never have benefited from what he’s able to teach me.  Make new, high quality, friends constantly!

Let’s ask Mike’s question regularly.  If we will, while following the unique steps of Cooperative Venturing, we’ll enjoy accelerated change and become more than we ever imagined.

When You Feel Hopeless

“I have worried about this so much I haven’t slept for weeks”

- Jennifer Castagno

When You Feel Hopeless

“I left the company two weeks ago because of this transaction.” Jennifer said to me over the telephone.  “I’ve worried about this so much I haven’t slept for weeks!”

“I understand!  I’ve spent lots of nights just staring up at the ceiling before.  I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.”

I was having lots of stress, right along with Jennifer, so I genuinely understood what she was going through.  We were both relying on other people to fulfill their role and they just weren’t getting it done.   It was frustrating and demoralizing. 

A couple of days before this phone call, I was at my emotional bottom.  I felt paralyzed but something deep inside of me said, “You have a fiduciary responsibility to fulfill, so figure it out!”

That inner voice acted as my guide to allow me to learn something very important.  What I could do when I felt hopeless!

I knew there were many things not in my control and had been focusing on them.  Shifting my focus was essential.

“What can I impact?” I asked myself.

I thought back and realized that, while there were many people involved I couldn’t count on; there were people who had proven themselves.  I could count on them!  That’s why I reached out to Jennifer.

“Thank you for being so great to work with.” She said at the beginning of our call.

I didn’t know she was going through the same thing I was.  One simple phone call bound us together.  We didn’t feel alone any longer and that produced new strength.  It opened the door for us to put a new plan together. We created a tight circle of cooperation and envision a successful finish in the near future. 

With this new, positive vision of success clearly in mind, I was able to claim confidence so I could call my client with purpose and strength.  “Hello, this is Lynn.  Here’s what happened.  This is how we can move forward and give you the outcome you’re looking for!”

Wow!  That dreaded call quickly turned from trepidation to the most positive result I could have imagined.  My feeling of hopelessness quickly disappeared.  I felt renewed.

It made me feel so good I wanted to make sure I could pass these steps on to you directly.  That way you and I can refer to them over and over again; this isn’t the first time I’ve felt hopeless and it won’t be the last.

So, next time we face discouragement we’ll ask, “What can I impact?”  Shift focus, create alignment with proven allies, combine strength to build a measurable strategy, and move forward with confidence while feeling renewed. 

These steps work!  I’ve used them again and again with positive results.  Try it yourself and you’ll conquer feelings of hopeless every time.