“Since my wife was diagnosed with cancer it has become easy for us to see who really cares about us.” – Jay Blackshear

Who Cares

Sometimes, keeping the home fires burning requires help from the outside, even when there is a wood burning stove inside.  I was inside such a home a couple of days ago.

I was walking with Jay Blackshear last Wednesday in his home, which is located high in remote mountains.  It was there, in the otherwise empty living room, I saw a wood and coal burning stove, most often used in Amish and Mennonite homes.  This dual-fuel home fire stove has the ability to keep an entire home warm using either type of fuel.  But it is this stove’s ability to automatically and slowly feed the fire with small amounts of low-sulphur coal that makes it an appliance of high value.  That’s because It eliminates the need to stoke the fire in the middle of the night, or when the residents are out for an extended period of time.  After all, everyone likes to enjoy warm refuge in a cozy home after they’ve been out in the cold!  But, Jay was about to teach me about different kinds of warmth; like friendship.

“We got back home yesterday at six a.m.” Jay said.  “Since my wife was diagnosed with cancer it has become easy for us to see who really cares about us.”

Jay and his wife, Christine had been in the emergency room for four of the last six nights!  I could see the fatigue in his eyes as he told me of how the medication provided by her doctors had caused her condition to worsen.

“I don’t blame them!”  He explained.  “They’re doing the best they can.”

I was glad to be there with him.  I mostly just listened to his heroic tale.  It was a story that began in Mexico where he was pastoring a church after leaving their home in Texas.  They had been there for two years before he came home one day to find his wife sobbing.  She was not feeling well!  So, they left the church they had built together and he brought her back to Texas, so they could be with family and friends.  It was there that they began trudging on her long road toward recovery.

Part of this path to recovery led them to the top of serene mountains.  The peace of the place made a difference for her health.  It made a difference for their family.  The medications she was on seemed to be making progress in battle.  Until, there was an unwelcome change.

When her physicians changed her medication, her body revolted.  She crashed into medical crisis.  They were fighting for her life, spending seemingly unending hours not able to stoke the fires supporting the comforting life of home.

“We thought the neighbors around us would demonstrate their care for us by offering encouragement.”  Jay said with pain laced with his vocalization.  “But the people we thought cared for us most never came!  It’s been mostly friends and family from a far.  We’ve also had people from the fringe of our lives, people we’ve recently met who’ve come to support us.”

It is this kind of friendly support, just lending a listening ear and being there to sit with them for a while that makes the difference.  Such kindness slowly, steadily feeds small amounts of love that keeps their home fires burning, while they haven’t the strength to keep them aglow alone.

“Just receiving a short call from a friend to check in with us makes all the difference!”  Jay emotionalized through his voice.

Sometimes, keeping the home fires burning requires help from the outside, even when there is a wood burning stove inside.  I was inside such a home a couple of days ago.

I was walking with Jay Blackshear last Wednesday in his home, which is located high in remote mountains.  It was there, in the otherwise empty living room, I saw a wood & coal burning stove and Jay.  We were keeping his home fires burning, together.