“It saddens me that any of us need to be convinced to be gentle” – Phillip Snyder

Gentile Impression

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about this one. Ok, here it goes.” Phillip Snyder said before diving in to an explanation.

He started with a growing-up-reminiscence of how his parents would sometimes watch reruns of shows they loved. “The Waltons” was one of their favorites. And, Phillip has had one scene from an episode he watched with his parents stick with him for nearly twenty years, hereafter.

In that well remembered television-show-scene, Ruth, a girl made recently blind by an accident, is in the middle of meeting the Walton family and makes observations about each person, in the Walton family, as she holds their hands. When she gets to Grandpa Walton, she holds one hand and carefully feels the callouses of his palm and comments that he must be a hard worker. Then, feeling the smoothness of the back of his hand, she said, “He must be a gentle and kind man.”

“A hard worker and a kind man!” Phillip exclaims as he fully expresses his heart-felt admiration for such traits.  “People should work hard at whatever work they engage in; and, perhaps more importantly, be gentle with and kind to all they come into contact with.”

“And yet,” He continues, “I wonder how true that is for many of us. I mean, speaking for myself, I spent the last two years during this pandemic doing far more complaining and criticizing than I did engaging in the work of being gentle and kind; feeding the needy, spending time with the sick, bringing encouragement to the depressed.”

Phillip then asked me what I thought my own hands would reveal to Ruth.  Would Ruth feel my hands as if they are the opposite of Grandpa Walton’s, or would they feel the same as his to her own gentle touch? 

Two days later, I found myself wondering about the importance of being gentle as I conversed with another friend. He told me he was intending to use his “talent for having a big mouth to confront his local city council.”

As soon as his words touched my ears, Phillip’s questions came into my heart again.

“Would we find ourselves so prone to criticism and rudeness if we had our hands to the plow? If we were working hard to build up the people around us, to share our possessions, to meet the needs of our community?  If our hands were attached to Grandpa Walton’s plow would we even find a moment for our hearts to harden and for harshness to come from our lips?”

So, in that same spirit, I made an invitation to my currently talking friend.  “You know, I think I have that same talent for speaking my mind.  And, for the first time in my life I’m beginning to receive insight into the value of being gentle and spreading gentleness.  Let’s see if you and I can find a certain rerun of ‘The Waltons,’ the episode where Ruth, a newly-eye-sightless girl, describes Grandpa Walton as a hard-working, gentle and kind man. Then, let’s watch it together. Let’s see if we can feel what Ruth felt.” 

“It saddens me that any of us need to be convinced to be gentle.” Phillip Snyder said again, to my heart, as soon as my invitation was offered.  “I hope Ruth would feel kindness on my hands.  I hope she would be touched by their gentle impression!”