“Caden starts kindergarten on Monday, it’s a big milestone for all of us!” – Sam Baker

Relationship Art

“It’s a big milestone for all of us!”  Sam said as he excitedly shared that Caden, his oldest child, was going to be starting kindergarten on the coming Monday.

“Enjoy it!”  I said.

I wasn’t surprised to see that Sam, a Senior Merchandise Financial Planning Manager at the world’s larger retailer, was paying such attention to the small details of living.  Because, Sam is an attendant to the little things in business and life.  

During our talk this morning he shared his “Making Little Things Matter Tips; ways to focus on being a little more thoughtful every day.”

First. “Ask how people like to be communicated with.  I know it may sound as if it is a little over the top, but let me tell you a little story!” Sam went on to elucidate by telling the story of how when one of his friends would never respond to the voice mail messages he left, he finally asked for his friend’s preferred method of communication.  “My friend told me he communicates almost entirely through texting. When I made that simple shift, my frustration ended!”  Sam said.  “Making that small change allowed me to demonstrate my commitment to our relationship; that I was in it for the long haul.”

Second. Manage relationships with a long-term-view. “This means being in it for the other person.”  Sam explains.  “It means staying connected by showing genuine interest in what’s happening in other people’s lives. It means listening to them.”  

Third. “I keep practicing the art of having, predominantly, one-sided conversations in relationships.” Sam teaches.  “That means listening to other people at least ten times more than I talk.  I hope I’m becoming more of a ‘relationship artist’ by behaving like this in an intentional way.” 

Fourth. “Relationship Artists create a prearranged schedule of activities.”  Sam says. We have a family council on a preset day and time each week.  It lets all family members know what’s going on behind the scenes.  Everyone gets a turn to give an update.”  Sam went on to explain a discovered side benefit when he started this practice. “Doing so also lets everyone sacrifice for each other in a small way, because we all need to be flexible, to give-and-take around everyone’s schedule.”

Fifth. “Put your significant other’s important events in your calendar. Take time to comment on social media posts at least once each day. I’ve found that even just posting a ‘like’ makes the people I’m in relationship with feel special.  It’s a tangible way to show I’m engaged in their living.”

Finally. “Recognize and celebrate happy events and be there to support them during sad moments.”  Sam counsels.  “Just be there with them. There’s most often no need solve their problem or give them an unsolicited solution.  Just be there. I love the story of Job, in the Bible, because it describes about how his friends just sat with him for days, without talking, when everything in Job’s life was crashing!”  Acting in such a devoted way would be a landmark moment for any Relationship Artist.

So, as a Relationship Artist, Sam will just be there for Caden’s first day of kindergarten! 

“Caden starts kindergarten on Monday, it’s a big milestone for all of us!”