“A couple of months later, I had just been diagnosed with cancer, was emotionally drained and not feeling well physically, when at midnight, someone began pounding on my front door.” – Mike Stillo

Fueling Neighborly Friendship

“When I was living in Georgia a few years ago, the neighborhood in which I was living was filled with people.  Not neighbors.”  Mike said while talking with a group of his current neighbors.

His old neighborhood, especially one particular next-door-neighbor, was a place of constant disagreement.  

“My next-door-neighbor seemed to be in shouting matches and sometimes fights in his front yard every week!”  Mike said.  “I was having a difficult time in my own life at the time, so I thought, if I could concentrate on helping someone with more troubles than I had, my own difficulties would somehow feel less burdensome.” He explained, before conveying the story of what I call, “Mike’s Method” for sparking warmer personal relationships.

In order to spark a better relationship with his neighbor, Mike decided he’d make sure to be outside as much as possible during times when his difficult neighbor came home.  He rationalized, “I would simply be there when he drove up to his house.  That way I could just walk over and start a conversation with him in a natural way.  I did this for a couple of years.  And then, in an effort to be in a position to give myself more chances to talk to him whenever he came outside, I began to chop a lot of wood!”

After splitting logs, he purposely stacked the wood next to the fence he shared with his acquaintance, hoping it would act as fuel to create a friendship. He continued to split and stack wood this way, right up until the day his grandson, the boy Mike was raising, came running into their house.

“The neighbor is stealing our firewood!”  He said with exaggerated animation. “Are you going to go over and talk with him?”

“No.” Mike, always a teaching grandfather, calmly responded.  “Let’s go out right now and throw the wood over the fence, into his yard.  He probably needs it more than we do!”

As soon as they finished gifting the firewood, Mike and his grandson were expecting their efforts to spark a change in the man they were trying to befriend.  They thought their next-door-neighbor would come over and express his gratitude. Yet, when the spark they offered toward a brighter-burning friendship, through the tendered kindling, seemed to have been fully dampened, both Mike and his grandson were discouraged.  But, they needn’t have been.

Mike’s eyes filled with tears as he described what happened next.  “A couple of months later, I had just been diagnosed with cancer, was emotionally drained and not feeling well physically, when at midnight, someone began pounding on my front door.  I answered the banging and found my neighbor, fully distraught, standing in front of me.  He seemed to be a broken man as he said, ‘My mother is in the hospital!  I need someone to teach me how to pray!’”

That’s when Mike ushered his distressed neighbor into the full glow of friendship by inviting him in.  Unfortunately, not more than a couple of days later, Mike was admitted into a hospital himself, so doctors could treat his worsening disease.  When he returned home, his new friend and neighbor had moved.

“When I was living in Georgia a few years ago, the neighborhood in which I was living was filled with people.  Not neighbors.  That is, until I decided to spark a friendship with the man next door, through the gift of firewood.  In the end, we connected in a very deep and touching way.  I’ll never forget the night, when a once gruff man, came over to ask for help.  I was so glad to have been there for him then, when he needed a neighbor.  I can still feel the warmth of our connection to this day.”

Are you looking to spark warmer personal connections in your own life?  Then use “Mike’s Method” so you can feel the inner warmth fuel by the gifts you offer to your neighbors.