The Exception, not the Rule

A conversation with my sister, Paula

The Exception, not the Rule

It’s nice to meet me?

No.  I’m not asking if you think it’s nice to meet me!  What I’m really asking is:  Have I really met myself?

Yes.  I know what I look like.  But, what I’m talking about is whether I really know who and what I am on the inside.  Do I feel comfortable enough with myself to be able to walk my own path or am I trapped on a path I think others want for me?  Am I doing what I perceive will give me prestige or what someone else expects of me?  I’ve found that truly getting to know oneself can be a long and sometimes painful experience.

When I started college I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted to do.  It wasn’t until I began to take classes that were required of me in my chosen course of study that I began to take notice of my strengths and weaknesses.  I don’t know of anyone who enjoys learning about his or her weaknesses.  But, life has a way of introducing both personal weakness and personal strengths to us.

It took me more than one year of constant struggle in college before I began to notice that the people who were at the top of the curve in chemistry and math, those I couldn’t compete with, were the ones who found themselves in the same dilemma in other classes with me.  My scores were highest in English, history and other social science types of study.   It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the other work it was just that it wasn’t my best work.

When I finally figured out what I did my best work in, it was an extraordinary opening.  It allowed me to spend my time doing what I liked and helped me to begin to make a greater difference in the world around me.  And, perhaps just as important, it allowed me to view my weaknesses in a way that allowed me to begin to search for ways to compensate.

When I say compensate I mean I began to allow other people to help me where I’m not strong.  Now I’m genuinely grateful that other people are real great at what I can’t do! 

“Your son Michael could spend ten lifetimes trying to teach me how to be an extraordinary carpenter.”  I said to my sister Paula.  “But, no matter how hard I try.  No mater how long I work, I could never be as good at it as he is.  I will never be able to produce the beautiful things he can make!  My weakness does, however allow me to admire and appreciate the depth of his talent all the more.” 

So, if you’ve ever struggled with discovering who you are on the inside and what you should do with your life, here are three aspects of getting to know yourself that have helped me. 

First, spend time discovering what your strengths are.  There is no right or wrong answer to this question.  The answer just lies within you.  The universe is a place of infinite diversity and beacons all of us to embrace our uniqueness.  Are you listening and observing its call?

Second, make a note of your weaknesses.  I’ve found that when I compensate for my weaknesses by combining with others the results are magnificent.  My life is enriched by the relationship and I always get an outcome I could never have achieved on my own.  

Finally, enjoy and express feelings of appreciation.  When you are the recipient of someone else’s talent let them know how much their gift means to you.  Everyone feels great when others tell him or her they’re admired and appreciated!  You know what I mean.  It’s happened to you.  We all like to feel as if we’re exceptional, admired, loved and appreciated!

Let being exceptional happen to you!  See how you’re exceptional.  Let the exceptional talents of others make up for your weaknesses. Enjoy exceptional feelings of appreciation.  Live an exceptional life.