Vigilant Love

“It was my last measure of service.”– Paula Maddock

Vigilant Love

I received an important call from my sister Paula.

“I think you should come.  It appears as if Dad will pass away within the next day or two.”

When the call was finished I kept the phone in my hand and began to touch numbers so I could rearrange my calendar for the day.  I finished another meeting and then drove the hour to see my father.

Paula was there, just as she had been for the past few months.  I visited with her and other family members who came to say their goodbyes and demonstrate their devotion.  And, through it all, I learned that devotion is just as different and distinctive as is every individual.

We all live different, individual lives and make choices based on our circumstances and talents.  At first glance one may surmise that Paula’s retired circumstance was the genesis of her dedication.   But that would not be accurate.  I knew that, but wanted to know more.

So, when Paula called to tell me that our father had passed away I asked, “have you been there the whole time?”

She said, “yes.”

I asked, “Why did you sit up with him the entire night?  Why did you stay with him, awake, for the duration?”

The question caused an automatic response.

“I didn’t want him to die alone.” She replied.

But, I wanted a more illuminating answer and pressed her for more.

“I wanted to give him my last measure of service!”  She deepened.

A last measure of service!  I repeated it within my mind over and over again.  It described something extraordinary.  An effort that continues past convenience, past a simple availability of time and into the depths of what it means to love.

True love can only be achieved through service.  And while it can only be obtained by serving, it is at the same time, a measuring stick of affection.  After all, without true love a person would never tend to the needs of a desperately ill child, or sacrifice time, money and status to care for another person.  Certainly, a person would not abandon the comfort of their soothing bed, for a full night, to give comfort, devotion and vigilance to their dying father.

May we all show vigilant love so when our cherished ones think about their relationships with us they will recognize that the depth of our love is not measured a toothpick, but by the height of a Giant Sequoia.