Make a Fifteen Minute Investment

"People don't care what you know until they know you care."

• Common Saying
  

Make a Fifteen Minute Investment

"I need to talk to you before you leave," she said.

That was all I need to hear and my interest was piqued. I spent the next couple of hours wondering what she needed and what my role was to be. We're friends. Our families are friends. Still, on a sliding scale of how well I know her family I would have to say that in reality I really only know them at a two out of ten. Perhaps that's why I was so intrigued at her comment out of the blue.

It wasn't even two hours later that I saw my chance to walk over and speak with her. She was surrounded by her family. Her son had just returned from the Middle East. I was glad he had returned home safely and I told him so.

As I looked straight into his face I remember thinking to myself, "He's so young." But at the same time he has a strong face; I thought for a moment that his rugged jaw might even be made of granite and his eyes of solid blue steel. He has what it takes. He has the look of a man who knows what he wants and the drive and determination to get it no matter what. Still, he's just a boy! Or, maybe I'm just looking at him through aged eyes.

His father's eyes aren't as old as mine, but they're not dancing with the brightness of hope today. They seem a little unsure. They definitely look uncomfortable. I see that a lot these days. People all around me know things have changed; and in most cases not for the better. Perhaps what I am seeing is a weary look. It is the kind of look that can only come from nights filled with worry and at times dread.

Then I looked at her eyes. They were moist, on the verge of tears. Still, they had a hint of determination. It's the look I've seen hundreds of times when someone has made a decision after a long and difficult struggle. Now my mind's question; what was her decision?

I said, "What would you like to talk with me about?"

That was like an invitation for the rest of the family to leave. They seemed to drift into a shadow I couldn't see. They just vanished! It wasn't long before I knew why.

"I need your help as a friend," she said.

"I'm glad to help," I replied.

I don't want to give you all the details of her story. That would be breaking a sacred trust. I will tell you that her story as told to me wasn't too different from my own. This seems to be the case with almost everyone I take the time to listen to. As people, we have a lot more in common than we ever think we do on the surface.

I spent the next few minutes listening. She talked in earnest. As she went through her story I watched the details as they were written in her face. I could feel the emotion as her words danced through my ears. I was eager to learn more.

Aside from her story there's something else interesting here. I've recognized it before. This time though it became so clear to me. The whole time we spent together I probably said fewer than one-hundred words.

There wasn't much I could tell her that she didn't already know. There wasn't much I could do for her that she and her family couldn't or weren't going to do on their own. The most important thing I could do for her was to spend our precious time together simply listening and letting her know that I understood what she and her family were going through.

When we parted I told her I would do what she asked and that I would be happy to help in other ways as well. Her burden wasn't lifted, but it is now shared. As I watched her turn and walk away I could tell she was lighter than before. I didn't do much. I just listened.

I told you before that on a scale, I knew her and her family at about a two. Now I can tell you I know them at about a seven. That's quite a jump after fifteen minutes!

It was an investment I would like to make time and time again. Where else can you get that kind of a return? Our lives were forever changed for the better as a result of this brief encounter.

We hear about "changing lives" often; most of the time we're told it just requires about "thirty-three cents a day." Perhaps that's true. I don't know if I'll ever know for sure.

I do know one thing for sure. There are people all around you that could really benefit from you simply listening to them. They need you to listen to their story. They need you to look into their eyes and read their face. They need someone to help lift their burden. They need you to really get to know who they are and what they're facing.

What will you receive in return? You'll have deeper friendships and a greater satisfaction in your own life! Be an active listener as soon as you can. They're out there waiting for your ears now. If you listen you can hear them calling!