“You can’t get too attached to one version of your identity. Progress requires unlearning." – James Clear

What You Don’t Do

There was a growth on Harry Pupper’s left eyelid. Truth be told, I didn’t notice it. That’s partly because he has a sort of “guyliner” highlight around his eyes. And, that little black line was hiding the small bump, the bump that wasn’t a big problem yet. But, it was growing and beginning to rub his eye and eyes are sort of important. So, we took Harry to see his veterinarian for an evaluation. The result of which was a scheduled surgery for my little buddy.

Harry had surgery Wednesday, last. It went well and he came out sporting a cone, wrapped around his neck, covering his entire head, while scrunching his ears.

“Why does he have the cone on?” I asked, thinking that cones are used exclusively to keep pups from licking their wounds.

“It is there to make sure he can’t use his legs and feet to rip the stitches out,” The experienced assistant explained.

Harry’s healing process and progress were clearly tied to such one-dimensional thinking. If he can’t reach the problem area, he will achieve his goal of keeping his stitches in place, so he can heal. 

James Clear’s singular healing advice, once offered to me, came to mind.

“You can’t get too attached to one version of your identity. Progress requires unlearning."

Unlearning can also be characterized as “What You Don’t Do” and three-dimensional thinking. Three-dimensional thinking introduces another dynamic into progressive decision making, called the multiplier effect, which is compelled forward by emotion.

After ten days of wearing a cone draped around his neck, Harry’s emotion was moping. He was sad to be sure. But, this morning, I was able to liberate him from that emotional drag. We got up, I removed the cone and he gave himself a thorough body shake, the kind that starts at the nose and quivers all the way through his stubby tail, and we went out for our always welcome morning walk together.

I watched him carefully as he sniffed and jogged. His happiness was palpable and was matched by my relief. Harry wasn’t tempted to sit down, reach up one of his rear legs and scratch his mostly healed eyelid. The one-dimensional path forward toward healing had succeeded. But, as for what he didn’t do now?

Once back in the house he crouched down and immediately began to lick his front paws again. It is a habit we’ve worked and worked to break. And, it’s a habit he remains emotionally committed to. Wearing the cone had no multiplier effect, no attached three-dimensional thinking for him. Perhaps that result is related to an inability to reason.

But, you possess the ability to reason. What you don’t do matters. It matters past today and has the ability to move you forward toward becoming the best version of yourself. And, happily you aren’t required to wear a cone to enjoy its multiplier effect, though it does require you to do something else. 

Make small daily choices that, over time, sculpt you into the person you desire.