“Don’t you give Pam and John a ride almost every week?” – Sam Baker

Respite

“Don’t you give Pam and John a ride almost every week?” Sam said as he looked at our friend Trent Gubler.

“Often.” Trent responded, in his quiet sheepish manner.

It made me think. And, the more I thought about, it I realized Sam was right. Trent was spending a lot of his time giving Pam and John a ride for many of reasons. At that moment, I felt a little ashamed, because I had been pretending, as almost everyone else, that Pam and John were living just like the rest of us.

Then one day I was driving on Medical Drive in the middle of the day and I saw John walking along the side of the road, on the bike trail there. I thought, “perhaps I should offer John a ride?” But that was all I did. I thought about it.

Maybe it was because such a thought made me feel uncomfortable. The more I thought about it, that was only part of it. It wasn’t all of it. The truth is, I didn’t want to become responsible to take care of John and his mother, Pam, on a regular basis. Just like Trent was. And, I began to think of everything Trent was doing.

He was running his large dental practice, was in the middle of raising four very active children and was designing and building his new office building. He’s going to be moving his practice to that building as soon as it’s finished. And, I knew some of the extracurricular activities his kids are involved in; musical theater, soccer and choir. He has more moving pieces to deal with in his personal life than I do right now. I decided to help.

A tipping point came within the next week when I saw Trent, John and Pam together again. I stiffened by back and walked up to Trent, put my arm around him and in a quiet voice asked, “Trent, may I take John and Pam home when we’re finished here?”

He responded immediately, “that would help me a lot! I have a choir function with my family and I was wondering what to do.”

A few minutes later I gathered John and Pam, helped them into my car and drove them home. They live in two different places. 

I dropped Pam off in her care facility. Then I drove John a couple of miles further to drop him in the parking lot of a national-chain-Italian-eatery. He pointed to a corner of the parking lot and said, “this is good. I live under the freeway overpass right over there.” Then he pointed toward the heavy underbrush and the trial leading down a slope.

I wondered why they were so sleepy and tired earlier in the day. Now I knew why! They needed respite. They needed respite much more than I had imagined. And, knowing this, witnessing it first hand, gave me a renewed commitment to being more generous and helpful to them. It’s the least I can do. Giving them a ride now and then is a small thing to me.

During our next ride together John said, “I have all I need. I have a place to sleep and some food to eat. And, a ride from you.”

Respite.

Watch a new segment of my television show on American Dream TV:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VrtKwVnGHVODrj4B6cP5IbPCjEJfM5NZ/view?usp=drive_link