“Its’ no big deal. It’s something I can easily work around.” – Jay Harwood

Eyeing Happiness

“It’s no big deal,” Jay said. “It’s something I can easily work around.”

His words hit my face like cold, flowing water rushing down the side of a tall mountain. They hit me in a two-fisted stream.

First, I had no idea that my buddy had been so affected by seemingly dog-piled health matters. Such lack of knowledge was a sign I hadn’t been attentive, the way a good friend ought to be. So, I asked him to tell me more. That led to me being hit by the second-strike.

Even after having undergone several medical procedures and enduring long healing cycles, he wasn’t looking up from under water, drowning in hopelessness or despair. His view was forward-gazing, brimming with hope. Yes, his circumstance was drifting a little downhill, but he sighted rays of bright light, peeking above his mountain of challenge.

“I’ve just changed how I do things,” Jay explained, with a twinkle in his blue, piercing eyes. “I just need a little assistance from others while I’m healing.”

Healing, I thought. While thinking about it more, I was suddenly not sure why his sight, staring firmly toward happiness, was at all surprising to me. After all, because we’ve been friends for a long time, I’ve watched him stare-down dramatic heartbreak in his personal life before. So, I searched for answers by looking deeper into his eyes, while conversing in a large conference room.

Jay’s striking blue irises were on display, arresting there, dazzling. Perhaps that’s why people who don’t know him well, get detained right there, failing to recognize his immense depth of character. The color is so enthralling, it’s easy to not look deeper. Yet, what I saw, just on the other side of that splendid color, was stone-gray quartzite. A silicified focus on aligning with happiness; come what may.

“What could possibly matter if a person isn’t surrounded by primary, significant relationships?” Jay explained in his affable way.

And, when I looked deeper into those focused, sky-like eyes, I could see the images of which he was referring. The focused-effort he’s expended while caring for his increasing clan, strengthening familial bonds.

“I’d pick my grandkids up from school,” he once explained to me. “I’d leave my work behind, so we could spend time together. We’d do the things that were of interest to them for the entire afternoon. Perhaps other people felt as if what I was doing was insignificant, you know, doing simple things such as playing a card game, loved by the kids. But, it wasn’t insignificant then and it isn’t insignificant, especially now, many years later.”

And now? Jay is keeping his focus on those dear to him. He structures time with family; as much time as possible. The biggest events in his life are all carefully scheduled and prepared in advance. He holds loved-ones in his gaze. Constantly. 

“It’s no big deal. It’s something I can easily work around,” Jay said, as I beheld the quartzite-fixed gaze, entrenched in his eyes. And, I could clearly see the perfection of his vision, because he’s eyeing happiness, always.

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