“Pick up the lost strands—the activities and the talents that have gone unrealized—and build new lives around them.” - Father Daniel G. Groody
Quenching the Volcano Within
We, two of us, were standing in a hallway conversing. My friend was especially dressed to reflect one of life’s most important passages; the wedding of his son. We stood there visiting, catching up, since we hadn’t seen each other for more than three years. It was all very pleasant, until a volcano erupted.
Volcanos have always been of interest to me. Perhaps it’s because the ones I’ve personally seen stand majestically, tall and beautiful. They are seemingly placid, without any hint of the danger lurking within. At this moment, I was standing in a hallway, looking at a volcano, my friend.
I had traveled for half a day to visit this good friend and was looking forward to it for a couple of months. Before watching the volcano erupt, I didn’t know I was about to discover something important about life’s journey and how we, as Americans, have become mean.
The word we, as used here, was carefully selected. Because, it includes me.
Less than a week from visiting my friend, during a phone call related to some business, I felt that same volcanic eruption vomit from within.
I remember thinking at the time, “I am an exact reflection of my friend.” I felt ugly.
This realization was in stark contrast to a description my friend Matthew Ward had recently posited of me while saying, “You’re always so calm.”
Clearly, I am not always calm. And, I’m not always feeling kind, friendly or generous. This realization caused me to ask one of life’s most fundamental questions. Who am I, really?
Luckily, this week my literary agent asked me to write a short bio and description of the vital motivation and purpose for the book he and I have been pitching to a particular publisher. This assignment was the perfect opportunity for me to answer the question, “who am I, really?”.
Turns out that completing the assignment led me to discover a door into the rediscovery of “gift logic,” something I’ve professed to believe in and follow my entire life. This is a different and deeper logic than what has been guiding our lives, since we’ve focused on and put most of our efforts into our work and careers, where we’re heavily focused on the pursuit of self-interest. Gift logic is the opposite of this paradigm, the way we’ve been living.
Gift logic is a guide toward creating a happy, well-lived life. It leads us to form important relationships, serve others and cultivates a complete character. It is a path of contribution and surrender. Many of us are already familiar with it. “Give to receive. You have to lose yourself to find yourself. You have to gain strength within yourself, not in acquisition or domination.”
Yes, gift logic is full of paradox, just like every person is. It focuses on “why” questions, such as why are we here, and what good should we ultimately serve? So, I offer you the same exercise my literary agent asked me to complete.
Sit down and struggle within yourself to identify your core self, your visible self, and your best self. Perhaps doing so will allow each one of us to quench the volcano within, so we can picture a nobler life and muster the courage to go out and live it.
Living a nobler life will open the way for us to follow the counsel of Father Daniel G. Groody to, “Pick up the lost strands—the activities and the talents that have gone unrealized—and build new lives around them.”
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