“I’m sorry to take so long to get back to you.  I’ve just returned from spending a month-and-a-half with my mother in Florida.” - Tamala Stewart

Time Spent

“I’m sorry to take so long to get back to you.  I’ve just returned from spending a month-and-a-half with my mother in Florida because she was ill.” Tamala Stewart said mildly.

“How is your mother doing now?”  I asked.

Tamala responded tentatively, quietly, “She passed away.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that!  I know how difficult that is.”

Tamala told me that her mother had asked her not to make the lonely, two-day drive when she fell ill.  She was worried about her daughter’s safety on such a long drive.  So, Tamala didn’t tell her mother she was coming.  She just showed up at her doorstep after the lengthy drive.  That’s when she learned that driving there, was without a doubt, the right thing for her to do.

“When I spoke with my mother on the phone the illness wasn’t viewed as a big deal.  But, when I arrived she had received medical testing that told her that cancer had spread throughout her body and she had a little more than one month to live!”  Tamala explained.

As soon as her mother broke the news, Tamala made immediate preparations to stay in Florida with so she could be there with her mother.  She almost completely shuttered her business and she spent about forty-five days giving her mom her full attention.  Yet, when those pain filled days ended Tamala continued to fight a feeling that she should have been able to do more.  She should have been able to somehow restore her mother to full health.  After all, her mom seemed to be completely healthy with lots of energy up to the time she began to feel pain in her side.  

I could her the pain in her voice as she described her feelings.  So, I asked, “Do you think your time spent with your mother made a difference to her?”

“Yes!”  Tamala said.

“How would you be feeling now had you not followed your heart, drove to Florida and stayed to just be there with your mom?”  I paused.  “May I offer you another thought?”

Many people say they have no time to spend time with their loved ones.  Yet, all people have a choice of what they’re going to do with their time.  It often appears as if many making such a declaration of “not having the time” simply rush away after stating it.  It’s almost as if they are chasing a mythical clock.  One they can never catch!

“Is there a difference between time spent and time well spent?  I asked.  “Do you believe the time you spent with your mother was time well spent?

Tamala face was overshadowed by a pensive look that immediately crowded the other look, despair, off her face.  She knew that she’d be able to finally cherish the time she was able to spend with her mother.  To cherish those forty-five days!  After all, she had given her mother the greatest gift any person could give another; a knowledge of time well spent.

Our talk together was also time well spent.  Right after she had said, “I’m sorry to take so long to get back to you.  I’ve just returned from spending a month-and-a-half with my mother in Florida because she was ill.”   We talked.  We spent time.

We enjoyed time well spent knowing that everyone, will eventually have spent all of their time.