Pen, Paper, Depth and Purpose

“I built all of my relationships through hand-written notes.” – Bob Gottdener

Pen, Paper, Depth and Purpose

I’ve heard Bob say over and over again that the most important thing a person can do to build a strong personal relationship is to simply pull out a pen and some stationery.  But, I guess I’ve never really believed it.  Until now!

The reason I believe it now is because I’ve spent the last year participating in virtual meetings.  And, today was another one of those meeting days.  I’m sure someone else can regale you with some kind of statistics about how valuable those meetings are, and have been, because of how much time and effort they save; how safe they’ve made our lives.  Maybe, but all I can do is to tell you that today, I sat in my car for the entirety of a virtual meeting, right in the parking lot adjoining my office building.  When it was over I got out of my car and walked through the office doors and as part of the real world.

“It was great to see you in the virtual meeting.”  I said to each of the three people I wanted to see face-to-face while handing each of them one of those hand-written notes Bob Gottdener has talked with me about all these years.

Yep!  Paper!  Pen!  My virtual communication device was buried deep in my pocket. And that’s exactly where I wanted it to be.  Because even after receiving all of the so-called benefits of our year-long virtual life, my preferred method of communication is still face-to-face and pen-to-paper.  It doesn’t save me time or effort, but it does something much more important. It lets me see and get a very personal feel for the people I’m communicating with.  In short, it’s much more satisfying.

“My territory used to include Alaska.”  Bob once said to me during dinner.  “You want to know why I was so successful there?  I’d get on that plane, head home to Los Angeles, and write a personal note to everyone I’d met with.  When I got off the plane I simply dropped each note into the post box at the airport.”

I remember teasing Bob about his airplane note writing scheme for weeks on end.  I’d tell him that I was sure he was right, that just writing notes would change the world!  Now, the funny thing is that when the world did virtually change, so did my belief about those same now-not-so-silly notes.

And today, rather than feeling silly after dropping those heart-felt notes into the hands of real live people, in the real world, I had to smile, and talk to myself, as I walked out of the building door.

“I guess you’ve been right after all, my friend!”  I said to Bob, while knowing he would never hear me across the deserts and mountains, as he was likely sitting in his home which is nestled on cliffs of the Palos Verdes Peninsula. 

The vision of Bob sitting there made me want to drive right to the airport, get on an airplane, write a personal note of surrender and then rent a car so I could drive down the road, from LAX to Bob’s place.  Yet, I fought this desire, knowing I could still follow his example by writing the note in my car and then drop it in one of those big blue USPS post boxes.

“I built all of my relationships through hand-written notes.” Bob said to me over and over again through the many years of our association together.  He always said that the most important thing a person can do to build a strong personal relationship is to simply pull out a pen and some stationery, and then write.  But, I guess I’ve never really believed it.  Until now!

I believe it now because I just handed personalized notes to some colleagues.  It allowed me to see a smile radiating from their eyes.  I heard and felt the warmth from their voice.  But most importantly, I felt something more.  It wasn’t the glare from a screen.  It was honest to goodness friendship.  The kind that gives depth and purpose to a life.  Every life.