Monday, August 8, 2016

Malleable, Adamant, Self-confident

“When you factor in vision and work ethic, much of life is malleable.” – Ryan Holiday

Malleable, Adamant, Self-confident

“A huge roll of hay came down and crushed him!  It’s a miracle he’s alive! They’re such a wonderful family.  I’m so glad they bought my land.” Nancy said to me, after she finished signing the final document to settle her transaction with Chad and Shondell Hymas.

Chad and Shondell had left our meeting just a few minutes earlier.  They were off to finish helping at the stock show held as part of our county fair.  I held the door as they left the building.  Chad rolled through with Shondell lightly pressuring the handles on his wheelchair.

“She pushes me everywhere I go!” Chad said to me in a lighthearted manner.  That may be true, and something else pushes Chad along as well.

“I wanted to buy this farm because I want my family to be tied to the land.  I want them to remember their heritage.  There is just something about the land and its relationship to people.  It seems to mold us.  It shapes us into people we’d never become without it.”  Chad explained to me. The land has molded Chad and it has combined with one over-arching obstacle to make him in to a person he never dreamed he could become.

Chad is still a farmer and he still views himself as such.  He is also a professional speaker.  He travels the globe giving people inspiration.  The Wall Street Journal calls Chad one of the 10 most inspirational people in the world!”

I get asked on a daily basis how I am so happy despite my circumstances.  How did I remain positive through all the changes that were taking place that surrounded my accident?  Let me answer you this, I am happy in spite of my circumstances.  Because of the things that I have learned on this journey, mostly the last 11 years of my life, that I would have never experienced otherwise.  These experiences have shaped my life and made me who I have become today.  There were times right after my accident that I am not proud of and I wish to not even recollect, but throughout that time and more recent times, these are the things that I have found truly work for me.”

The obstacles and experiences you and I face will work for us the same way they’ve worked for Chad if we’ll let them.  We just need to remember three things.  Be malleable. Be Adamant.  Be self-confidant.

Be malleable.  People often get tied to a false idea about what their life should have been or how it should be now.  I remember asking one friend why he was so upset all of the time.  He responded, “My life didn’t turn out the way I thought it would.”  Such an approach to life leaves a person impossibly wanting and missing out.  Their next opportunity might have allowed their to be better.  Unfortunately, they’ll never know because they didn’t allow such opportunities to blossom!  People falling into this trap have forestalled the possibility of life being better than they thought it could be! You and I can avoid this trap. We can expand our perspective to allow for the unforeseen to enrich our lives.

Be Adamant.  There will be times in our lives when people will try to make decisions for us.  When this happens we must be unwavering in seeking what we want in life.  When it happens simple ask, “If I show up, will you give me a fair look?  Be straight with me, if I come and try, will you give me a chance?”  Focus your efforts on what you want to accomplish, not on things of the past that you can’t change.

Be Self-confident.  Know “What is up to us, what is not up to us.”  Ryan Holiday gave me a list of “what is up to us.”  Here’s Ryan’s list of what we can control:

Our emotions
Our judgments
Our creativity
Our attitude
Our perspective
Our desires
Our decisions
Our determination


As Chad and Shondell left our meeting I recognized resolute determination.  I could see it in their eyes as they rolled down the handicap ramp while exiting the building.  As I watched them leave, I could see myself beginning to roll in the same direction.  I wanted to be more malleable, adamant and self-confident as a result of knowing them.

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