Turing Your Worst Into Your Best

“My neighbor said, ‘You’re part of our family now.’”

-Alan

Turning Your Worst Into Your Best

“My Mother ran off with my Dad’s best friend and left us!”  My friend Alan said.

As he was speaking, I thought back to my own life and felt a strong tug on my heart.  I could feel my entire body become loose and sort of melt outward from my heart.  The quaver in my friend’s voice signaled strong emotions and I could see water well up in his eyes.

“The day she left us, my next door neighbor called me into her house and said, “Alan, you’re part of our family now!  When we eat, there will be a place set for you.  When we go on vacation, you’ll go with us.” 

“I took her up on it.”  Alan continued.  “She was a good woman and I was very sad when she died.  She was only forty-two years old.”

Sadness can come from many sources.  For lots of people, like my friend Alan, the death of their family is a painful early-life experience.  Luckily there was someone there to help pick up the pieces of Alan’s heart.  Now he’s well into his fifties and has successfully raised a family of his own.  And, perhaps most importantly, his experience has taught him to be one of the most compassionate people I know.

He has reached out to at least a couple of homeless people in our area to give them warmth and food during times when they would have otherwise perished.  His heart pushes him toward doing good when the hearts of others fail.  I look to him as a beacon.

Alan beckons all of us to humbly remember our darkest experiences and turn them to the benefit of others.  Many blame their bad behavior on “their childhood” and use it as an excuse to perpetuate pain and anger.  Alan shows everyone that pain can be used to develop an increased capacity for love and kindness. 

Every one of us has had both universal and unique painful experience.  Both can act to bind us together as humans and as individuals.  Take some time to contemplate how your life experiences make you part of the human family.  Then, open your heart to discover other individuals that can benefit from your distinctiveness.  When you do, your goodness will engulf your whole being and turn your worst into your best.