Lunding Forward

“My personal search for meaning lasted an agonizing 3-4 years!” – Tom Lund

Lunding Forward

“I had to apologize to my wife!”  Tom said with emotion in his voice.

This showing of emotion was a new version of Tom.  He’s always been a consummate professional, specializing in sales.  Not a pushy, obnoxious man in his work and professional life. He’s always been polished and studied in his craft.  Perhaps the best way to describe him is knowledgeable, confident and successful.  But, this new Tom?

The current Tom is all of those things, polished, confident, successful and, softer.  Don’t take that to mean he’s weaker in any way.  He’s clearly stronger.  His new strength comes from the completion of a personal journey, having successfully completing a personal search for meaning; a process of questioning his core, his history, his very personal meaning.

“I had to apologize to my wife!” Then he continued.  “I told her I was sorry for putting her through my difficult behavior for the past two years.”

“Two years!  Hardly!”  Gretchen replied.  “It’s been more like three-and-a-half to four years!” 

The welled-up emotion of Tom’s search burst as he recounted his story and the pain he and his wife had lived through together.  It is a recognizable pain for many of us.  After all, who hasn’t gone through something very similar, either personally or with a loved one?  Hopefully, in almost all instances there comes a time when something “clicks” one day and personal, private darkness ends.  Such a breakthrough is sometimes called an opportunity to lunge forward into life’s possibilities again.

Luckily, such a breakthrough occurred for Tom.  And, in retrospect, he’s identified three realizations that he credits with his “Lund Forward” allowing him to live joyfully and hopefully once again.

First.  Tom says, “I did so much internal evaluation that I discovered who I truly am.  While that part of my process was important, it may not have been the most important aspect of my growth.  I think the key, turning the lock within my own heart, was that I finally became comfortable with who I really am!”  He went on to explain that this was vital because it allows him to also give others the same latitude.  Tom says, “This latitude is a sort of freedom allowing me to finally be able to grant individualism to everyone else too!”

Second.  “I have a new understanding that the world is different for everyone.  I call it the ‘Rule of Billions.’”  Tom has been able to simplify this critical perception in another way too.  “Think of it in this way, if a group of people belong to an organization and there are about thirteen members, there will be thirteen sets of eyes, all viewing the same group in thirteen different ways.  And, that’s ok!”  It’s alright to have a different personal reference point, even in situations where the entire group is supposedly bound together in a common belief or effort.  Being comfortable with the Rule of Billions allows a person to naturally become comfortable within the group and within their own heart at the same time.  That leads to Tom’s third rule or realization.

Third, the Rule of History.  Tom says, “Perhaps the Rule of History is more like an understanding of history.  Once I understood that history books and even ancient texts were a record of human mistakes I became much more comfortable with my own mistakes and conversely, with the mistakes of others.  I stopped worrying about being perfect and living a life of perfection!  Now I’m free to simply work to become the best I can be in all areas of my life without apology.”

“I had to apologize to my wife!”  Tom said with emotion in his voice.  “I also had to apologize to myself, so I let go of the fallacious assumptions I’d made about my relationship with the past, my background and other people.

This was the premier of a new, stronger version of Tom.  He’s always been a consummate professional, specializing in sales.  Not a pushy, obnoxious man in his work and professional life. He’s always been polished and has successfully studied his craft.  Perhaps the best way to describe him is knowledgeable, confident and successful.  But, this new Tom?

This new Tom has given you and me three realizations around important life rules that can allow everyone to Lund Forward.

Rooted Trust

“That’s easy!  She’s a blessing!” – Todd Feld

Rooted Trust

“When these new documents came out, I knew I had to call you!  I wanted your opinion.”  Todd said.

He went on to say that he made the call because of complete trust.  Yet, there is one, much more important, universally rooted trust exhibited by Todd Feld.  And this conversation was the perfect opportunity to discover the deepest kind of trust.

An outsider’s view of Todd’s family life could lead one to conclude the opposite of what the truth is.  You see, Todd has successfully raised a mentally challenged daughter and her siblings.  Someone who hasn’t spoken with him about this would easily assume that Todd and his wife are the ones who have undergone the most difficult, been through the most, challenges throughout this child rearing process. Yet, a conversation with Todd, asking the direct question, “Will you tell me what you’ve learned as a direct result of this experience?” resulted in this definitive response from him:

“She’s a real blessing!”

Perhaps the ability to live life fully rooted in trust is the real blessing?

Does life continuously present fitting lessons, individually tailored toward optimal personal growth?  Are such individualized, perfect lessons, offered freely as a demonstration of faith?  A faith rooted in a universal conviction that every person has the ability to succeed?  Todd’s life experience answers these questions with a certain, yes.

No one knows what their fitted lessons are going to be.  Todd didn’t understand the lessons he would face when he and his wife began their family.  They learned, from each child, as they were born.  They learned, with each child, as they progressed together.  Fitted lessons are a process of gaining incremental trust.

Incremental trust is progressive in nature. It is gained step-by-step.  It is gained, age-by-age, experience-by-experience.  Most often, such growth is not recognizable until a time of reflection allows us to see it, as if looking in a mirror which exposes our forever changed image in the form of a ripened face.  This moment could be called, time counting our blessings; the time when we are more able to accurately see conquered obstacles for what they really are.  Realization of universally rooted trust.

“When these new documents came out, I knew I had to call you!  I wanted your opinion.  Because I know I can trust you.”  Todd said.

He went on to say that he made the call because of complete trust.  Yet, there is one, much more important, universally rooted trust exhibited by Todd Feld.  And a conversation with Todd Feld was the perfect opportunity to discover the deepest kind of trust, universally rooted trust.  A trust that life has and will continuously present fitted lessons, individually tailored toward our own optimal personal growth.

An Improved Hunt for Joy

“He said, ‘We need just need two more ducks to reach our limit.’” – Boyd Billingsley

An Improved Hunt for Joy

“I was duck hunting with my son-in-law.  We’d been sitting in the blind for at least a couple of hours when he turned to me, toward late morning, and said, ‘We need just need two more ducks to reach our limit.’ I responded with, okay, that’s good.”

Then, the two men sat for a few more moments in a silence that spread over a minute or so. Soon it became clear that there was something else on the mind of Boyd’s companion.

Said he, “Boyd, we’ve been here all morning and you haven’t even picked up your gun!”

Boyd responded with, “Oh! I hadn’t noticed!”

Perhaps the two were on the adventure with different purposes?  Boyd’s son-in-law was there to hunt.  Boyd was there to savor the golden view.

Boyd says, “I don’t think I ever understood what people meant by the phrase, ‘The Golden Years,’ until now.”

The experiences of life have naturally allowed Boyd to develop improved sight while in his golden years. Here’s how he described his purposed, glitter-viewing duck hunting adventure with his son-in-law:

“When my son-in-law said I that hadn’t picked up my gun the whole time we’d been in the duck blind, it struck me that it hadn’t even dawned on me to do so!  I was there to enjoy the beauty of the place as well as be him. The duck hunting was really just an opportunity for me to show love for him and relish in gratitude for the surrounding beauty of the place.”

Boyd’s place in life is now well past the middle of his seventieth decade. There was a time when he couldn’t imagine an end to his living.  And, while he’s always enjoyed people, a sense of community and his surroundings, his acquisition of an improved, golden view has enhanced his living in virtually every moment of every day.

“Having a golden view means allowing myself to pay attention to the important people in my life and genuinely enjoying every precious moment!”  Boyd clarifies to anyone who asks exactly what living with a golden view means.

“I enjoyed everything when I was younger. But, not enough!”  Boyd said with a twinkle in his eye, right before saying, “I was duck hunting with my son-in-law.  We’d been sitting in the blind for at least a couple of hours when he turned to me, toward late morning, and said, ‘We need just need two more ducks to reach our limit.’  I responded with, okay, that’s good.”

That was good indeed.  But, living with a golden-view-perspective; that everyone can enjoy an improved hunt for joy in life by remembering that there will come a time when each person will reach their own personal limit, is what will make life glitter. That’s when every precious moment of living will be genuinely enhanced with joy.

She Knows

“I shared the two most important things my father taught me with my friend.”

She Knows

“He said he wished he’d paid much more attention to the lessons my father had taught to our youth group when we were younger.”  She said.

She paused, as if for emphasis.

“I then told him what the two most important things I learned from my father were.”

As circumstances, age, experience and conditions change in our lives, the things we’ve learned from our fathers seem to be refreshed and come into active memory, just in time.  Different lessons, once offered at another time and place, seem to dance into and then speak to our hearts and minds, becoming essential for our current moments.  So, the two most important things she said she learned from her father may have risen to the top of her heart, just because of the health, professional and economic events we’ve all experienced over the past eighteen, or so months.

“The first thing my father taught me is that innovation is the result of trouble or struggle.  The second is that there is always opportunity, even in the worst of times. Look for it and it will appear!”  She explained to her friend who had been experiencing both personal and professional challenges for an extended period.

She’s found that such fatherly-teaching not only has the capacity to help the hearts and minds of its intended recipients, it can additionally be extended to the benefit of multiple generations and unknown future connections.

“He really needs a father right now!”  She continued, by talking about how she has shared the benefits of her own received fatherly-teaching with her friend.  “So, I thought it would be good to share mine!”

She knows that being a father is much more than a simple biological relationship.  It isn’t even necessarily tied to legal adoption.  It’s much more about accepting the responsibility of acting as a father to others.  That means gathering up a life-time of experience and love and then transferring it to anyone who will accept it.

“After talking with my friend, I asked my dad if he would mind becoming a father to my friend as well.  Of course, he said, ‘yes!’  In fact, my dad made a quick call to my friend immediately after we talked.  Now my friend feels his warm fatherly-embrace too.  Perhaps I can best describe it as enjoying a big teddy bear hug all the time.”

She’s learned that being a father means offering security to others, even if he, her father, doesn’t feel all too secure himself at the time.

“You said you’d always have a place for me!”  She once said in despair to her dad when he told her he was selling her childhood home.  

“He replied, ‘I do have a place for you.  It’s just a different place!’  When he said that, I was reassured that he’d still be there for me.  Even when the “there” was different.  I just needed to hear and feel the confirmation from him.”

Such validation returned to her heart as she talked with a friend in need. “He said he wished he’d paid more attention to the lessons my father had taught to our youth group when we were younger.”

She paused, as if for emphasis.

“I then told him what the two most important things I learned from my father were, so he’d have increased confidence!”

She knows!  She knows that true fatherhood should be a gift that keeps on giving to everyone.

Piloting with Compassion

A compassionate airline pilot.

Piloting with Compassion

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”  A little girl asked her mother while waiting to board their flight.

Her mother was sitting in her chair sideways.  Her left arm was curled along the top of the chair, so it could cushion her drooping head.

“I don’t feel well.”  Her mother replied.  “I don’t know that I am well enough to fly.”

Upon hearing her mother’s pained words, the little girl redirected her question to her grandmother.  “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“There’s nothing to worry about.” The girl’s grandmother responded gently.  “It’s a lot safer to fly than to ride in a car.  We’ll have such fun in Montana!”

“We’re going to begin boarding by row.” The gate agent announced just seconds later.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to go.”  The small girl’s mother said immediately after hearing the general announcement.  “I think I’m going to vomit!”

Shortly thereafter, the grandmother, grandfather and the worried girl began to gather their carry-on bags because their seat range had been announced.  The fearful mother stirred, picked up here bag and walked across the hall to vacant seats at another gate.  “I can’t get on that plane!” She said as her daughter followed, floating in the wake of her mother’s fear.

After hugging their two loved-ones goodbye, the hesitant grandparents boarded the plane, while the distraught pair still sat across the hall.

“This is the final boarding call.  If you have a ticket you must board now, before the door shuts.”  The gate agent announced, looking directly at the woman and her daughter, just before a pilot appeared at that same, almost closing jet bridge door.

The pilot had the grandmother at his side.  When he walked through the door, she was directed to wait just inside, because she had already boarded.  He walked directly to the girl and her mother across the way, where he stopped and began to converse in kindly tones.

“We’d love to have you join us on the plane.”  He implored.  “I don’t want you to miss your celebration in Montana.  I promise I’ll be able to get you there safely.  Come with me and I’ll show you the cockpit.”

They talked for a few minutes more.  He coaxed and empathized with patience, until he helped them gather their belongings and escorted them onto the plane.  Once on the plane, he showed them the cockpit and gave the young girl her own set of pin-on wings.  All before making sure they were sitting comfortably in their assigned seats.

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”  The little girl had asked her mother while waiting to board their flight before getting on the plane.

Her mother was now sitting in the aircraft with her seatbelt snugly fastened.  Her arms were comfortably draped comfortably at her side and a smile had replaced her once darkened, fear filled face. 

“He’s such a wonderful man.”  The woman said to her daughter as they smiled at each other.  “I would never have been well enough to fly without his help!”

Upon hearing the comfort in her mother’s voice, the little girl redirected her gaze toward the just closing cockpit door to her before she said, “The best thing that could have happened just happened!”

Piloting others with compassion always makes it possible to transport another person’s life to an otherwise impossible destination.

Great and Terrible

“You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed.  You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.” - Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Great and Terrible

“I’m in Oregon.”  Kyle said.  “We’re here visiting our son and grandbaby.”

Suddenly, making the phone call felt like a violation, as if using this time was steeling; something that could never be replaced.  Perhaps this feeling came in combination with the revelation Kyle had already granted; a sure knowledge of the transient nature of individual time.  His presence in America’s Northwest, if nothing else, proved his deep-rooted acceptance of this truth.  It also revealed three important branches of that deeply rooted understanding.  He was in Oregon on this day because he has been completely and thoroughly changed.  A singular change that occurred upon discovering and then grasping his “what, why and who.”

“What” means at least two different, yet directly connected things to Kyle.  His first “what” was announced through small tremors.  Who knew that small, almost imperceptible quivers, could be both great and terrible?  Could one have guessed that minor and almost undetectable trembling could bring about mighty change?  Yet, magnificent transformation has come to Kyle as a result of his ability to catalyze his first “what” with an essential second.  A purpose.

“I know that I can be healed.”  Kyle said, as he explained, with exactness, his plan to fulfill his purpose; to become healthy, be healed, to live life in its greatest possibility.  He understands every detail of his purpose, the process he’s pursuing to reach this all-consuming goal, right down to a vivid portrayal of his deepest feelings.  His description of raw, human feeling is most striking because his purpose would lack conviction, depth and meaning without the discovery of his personal “why.”  A reason.

Kyle’s reason is much more than merely a healing of body.  His reason and purpose are all relationship based.  He’s following a process carefully designed to heal his body, build his personal associations and empower his spirit.  That means living happily, creatively and connected to the most important people in his life.  His who.

“I’m in Oregon.”  Kyle said.  He was there with his “who.”  The people he loves most.

Suddenly, making the phone call felt like a revelation, as if using this time was a privilege; learning of how something terrible can be turned into greatness.  Perhaps this feeling came in combination with the revelation Kyle had already granted; a sure knowledge of the transient nature of individual time.  His presence in America’s Northwest, if nothing else, proves his deep-rooted acceptance of this truth.  It also revealed the three important branches of Kyle’s relationship-rooted understanding.  He was in Oregon on this day because he has been completely and thoroughly changed.  Change occurring upon discovering how to turn something terrible into something great by grasping his own what, why and who.

Grounded in Giving

“There is about three quarters of an acre behind my church.” – Tom Rohr

Grounded in Giving

“My company’s purpose and motto are, ‘waste nothing.’”  Tom said as he introduced his business on a day filled with on and off again rain.  “I’ve also found that carrying this through to additional areas of my life has changed me in an amazing way.  It’s incorporation into my personal life genuinely took off one day while talking with others in my community about ways we could help some of our fellow parishioners struggling to have enough food to eat.  That’s when I had an illuminating experience.”

During that meeting Tom looked over the shoulders of those right in front of him.  There was sunlight streaming in through the windows as if to highlight an opportunity he hadn’t noticed before.

“It was almost as if the sun was acting as a spotlight to show me what I hadn’t truly seen before!”  He continued.  “Our congregation owns an additional three quarters of an acre beyond our building and managed landscaping.  Of course, we all knew it was there, but we’d never thought of using that land for a greater purpose.  It was about to become part of the solution to the hunger issue we were discussing at that very moment.”

Tom got the message!  It was the perfect way for him to unite his business philosophy with action in his personal life.

“We have the land to grow a lot of food right there!” He said pointing at the plot through the glowing glass frames.  “Let’s walk out there to talk about how we can transform this land and lives at the same time!”

That was about four years ago.  Since then Tom and other members of his parish have worked together to create a prosperous community garden.  It’s a garden that feeds the participants continually.  And, the effort has now gone way beyond just filling hungry bellies.

“It’s become an all-encompassing lesson about the value of sharing our individual knowledge and experience as well.  It’s been a process of discovery for all of us.  We’ve discovered and value each other’s unique knowledge and experience.  We’ve learned far more from each other than anticipated.  The great gardeners in our congregation have taught the rest of us how to grow delicious food.  Others who know a lot about food preservation have taught us how to prepare it so we all have food when we’re well past the growing season.  Skilled organizational experts, within our group, have taught us exceptional planning skills, how to work more effectively together and how to distribute the food and specific knowledge amongst ourselves well.”

They’ve accomplished more together than they ever could have imagined.  Tom says, “Working together has illuminated the way for us to accomplish more while becoming much more than we ever could have become on our own, to live abundantly.  Our garden has allowed us to become grounded in giving!”