Lunding Forward

“My personal search for meaning lasted an agonizing 3-4 years!” – Tom Lund

Lunding Forward

“I had to apologize to my wife!”  Tom said with emotion in his voice.

This showing of emotion was a new version of Tom.  He’s always been a consummate professional, specializing in sales.  Not a pushy, obnoxious man in his work and professional life. He’s always been polished and studied in his craft.  Perhaps the best way to describe him is knowledgeable, confident and successful.  But, this new Tom?

The current Tom is all of those things, polished, confident, successful and, softer.  Don’t take that to mean he’s weaker in any way.  He’s clearly stronger.  His new strength comes from the completion of a personal journey, having successfully completing a personal search for meaning; a process of questioning his core, his history, his very personal meaning.

“I had to apologize to my wife!” Then he continued.  “I told her I was sorry for putting her through my difficult behavior for the past two years.”

“Two years!  Hardly!”  Gretchen replied.  “It’s been more like three-and-a-half to four years!” 

The welled-up emotion of Tom’s search burst as he recounted his story and the pain he and his wife had lived through together.  It is a recognizable pain for many of us.  After all, who hasn’t gone through something very similar, either personally or with a loved one?  Hopefully, in almost all instances there comes a time when something “clicks” one day and personal, private darkness ends.  Such a breakthrough is sometimes called an opportunity to lunge forward into life’s possibilities again.

Luckily, such a breakthrough occurred for Tom.  And, in retrospect, he’s identified three realizations that he credits with his “Lund Forward” allowing him to live joyfully and hopefully once again.

First.  Tom says, “I did so much internal evaluation that I discovered who I truly am.  While that part of my process was important, it may not have been the most important aspect of my growth.  I think the key, turning the lock within my own heart, was that I finally became comfortable with who I really am!”  He went on to explain that this was vital because it allows him to also give others the same latitude.  Tom says, “This latitude is a sort of freedom allowing me to finally be able to grant individualism to everyone else too!”

Second.  “I have a new understanding that the world is different for everyone.  I call it the ‘Rule of Billions.’”  Tom has been able to simplify this critical perception in another way too.  “Think of it in this way, if a group of people belong to an organization and there are about thirteen members, there will be thirteen sets of eyes, all viewing the same group in thirteen different ways.  And, that’s ok!”  It’s alright to have a different personal reference point, even in situations where the entire group is supposedly bound together in a common belief or effort.  Being comfortable with the Rule of Billions allows a person to naturally become comfortable within the group and within their own heart at the same time.  That leads to Tom’s third rule or realization.

Third, the Rule of History.  Tom says, “Perhaps the Rule of History is more like an understanding of history.  Once I understood that history books and even ancient texts were a record of human mistakes I became much more comfortable with my own mistakes and conversely, with the mistakes of others.  I stopped worrying about being perfect and living a life of perfection!  Now I’m free to simply work to become the best I can be in all areas of my life without apology.”

“I had to apologize to my wife!”  Tom said with emotion in his voice.  “I also had to apologize to myself, so I let go of the fallacious assumptions I’d made about my relationship with the past, my background and other people.

This was the premier of a new, stronger version of Tom.  He’s always been a consummate professional, specializing in sales.  Not a pushy, obnoxious man in his work and professional life. He’s always been polished and has successfully studied his craft.  Perhaps the best way to describe him is knowledgeable, confident and successful.  But, this new Tom?

This new Tom has given you and me three realizations around important life rules that can allow everyone to Lund Forward.