Living From Your Core

A pause on the other side of the earth

Living From Your Core

I was running late, as usual, on a Wednesday evening.  I needed to pick my daughter up from the downtown branch of Salt Lake Community College.  She was getting out of class early and had sent me a text message to let me know.  I was in my office on the phone with one of the banks I was working with for one of my Client’s.  I was feeling a little agitated because the negotiations were dragging on.  It seemed almost impossible to find the words I needed to make the person on the other end understand the point I was trying to make.

I was at my breaking point; almost ready to lose my temper.  So, I pulled myself back in and reminded myself that he was in another country on the other side of this planet.  All the information he had was in a small electronic file on his screen.  He knew nothing else.  It wasn’t his fault that the information was wrong.  I knew it was time to settle back into my core belief and work from there.

That’s all it took for the tone of the conversation to change.  The tension over the phone was released and we were able to have a new start and begin to make progress as soon as new, healing words escaped my lips.

“I really appreciate your kind efforts on my behalf.” I said.

There was a brief pause on the other side of the earth!

“Thank you sir;” was the reply.

“What do I need to do to make sure we’re working together so we can get the best result for both of us?” I continued.

From that moment on we were able to get over the barriers that were holding us back and we made the progress I had hoped for.  When we were about to end our conversation I said, “Thank you for your help.  I’m glad I was able to work with you.  I’ll remember you in my prayers.”

“Thank you again sir.  I hope to be able to talk with you again soon.”  Was his reply in quiet, heartfelt tones.

Now that I was finished with my phone call I sent a quick text to my daughter.  “On my way!”

I was still running late but, I was running on full knowing that I had done the good thing.  I always feel good when I receive additional evidence that operating from a position of love, because I want to, produces the best result.  Luckily, my daughter was operating from the same core belief when I picked her up.

“Sorry I’m late!” I said as she slid through the door of my car.

“That’s O.K.  I know you’re doing your best.

http://www.lynnbutterfield.com 

When you’re having a difficult day, stop for a moment and make sure you’re living from your core value of love; draw from its deep well within.  When you do, you’ll see circumstances change immediately and peace will enter your heart and the hearts of those around you.

The Sun Cycle Principle

"If you have just a little bit of hope left you can make great strides in your life.”

- Theo Fleury

The Sun Cycle Principle

I sat mesmerized as I listened to Theo recount his story.   He told me of how he had been hiding the tale of his being abused from more than twenty years and what a burden it had placed on his whole life.  He said, “Even though I had been successful player in the NHL I couldn’t bear to live with this secret.”  But, he was been able to change this through the use tools that are often overlooked in our society today.

He told me that just when he thought all was lost, that his life was over because he was going to end it, he called out in prayer.  As he did so he received a peaceful reassurance that if he would allow just a little bit of hope to radiate from his heart that he could regain his life and have happiness again.  With a desperate commitment to cling to this new particle hope he began to take small steps that would allow his hope to grow until his glimmer of hope became a fortress of faith.

Most of us can remember times when our faith and our hope seemed to have abandoned us.  I know I have had such times.  There have been many of us, who having faced such moments, have become broken and defeated.  And to anyone who is in such a position it will be helpful to know that at least one person has shown the rest of us the path to victory.  It is the path of hope, based upon the notion of human resilience.

Resilience is the ability to recover quickly from setbacks, the ability to spring back quickly into shape after being stretched.  Life is designed to stretch each one of us.  It is a learning ground.  We are not meant to glide through life without challenge and growth.  And here’s what I’ve learned through observation and living; through sailing along and as well as feeling like too little butter being spread over too much toast.

Personal resilience seems to be one of the great separators in life.  Those who keep showing up each day to face life’s challenges find success, peace and happiness.  In other words, if you can develop the trait of resilience in your life you will be well served.  You will understand that what happened yesterday is not what will happen today; the pieces of the puzzle that baffled you in your past will present themselves in the different light of today and tomorrow.  I call this the “Sun Cycle Principle.”

The sun rises each day and allows us to begin the morning with its rays of hope as we venture into living.  Some days will shine brightly and others will feel gloomy and hard.  But, each day, no matter what its course, comes to an apparent end with the setting of the sun.  Yet, there is no victory of darkness!  The sun rises in triumph again to usher in hope and a model of resilience to all who will receive it.  Let this be your symbol of hope and beacon of encouragement in times of challenge and you’ll always be living in the brightness of a well lived life.

Your Gift to Humanity

“I looked around and saw that everything around me was made by people; bridges, houses, cars, everything.  Then I realized that the people who created all these things were no smarter than I was and my life was changed!”

- Steve Jobs

Your Gift to Humanity

When I was growing up I always believed that the adults around me had all the answers.  It seemed to me that they had to have all the answers because they were adults and were in charge.  So, I could hardly wait until I was all grown up so I would have all the answers too.  Then it happened, I woke up one day and discovered I was an adult.  But I also discovered something else as well.

I found that the challenges of my life didn’t end.  I didn’t magically have all the answers to life and the other adults around me didn’t have all the answers either.  They were just doing what I had been doing all along; they were making it up as they went along.  It was all quite disconcerting and I’ve spent the rest of my life living in a confused state; that is until this week when I heard this quote from Steve Jobs.

He said, “I looked around and saw that everything around me was made by people; bridges, houses, cars, everything.  Then I realized that the people who created all these things were no smarter than I was and my life was changed!”

There was a time in my life when I thought Steve Jobs was successful because he was lucky and I longed to have such luck.  But over the years I watched him have success after success and I soon realized that he had discovered something that I hadn’t!  Now I know that he most likely discovered many things that I haven’t and I feel lucky to now know one way that he viewed the world differently than me.

So now I’m going to stop my search for the adult that has all the answers and focus on refining my ability to do things I thought could only be accomplished by people that were smarter and more talented that I.  I know that doing this will propel me forward because Steve continued by saying, “Once you discover this it’s all down hill.”

Still, walking down hill takes effort and direction.  After all, if one never makes an effort to take the first step then there will be no movement, no success.   For me the hardest part is the first step but, what I’ve found is that when I take that step I can keep the momentum going and keep things moving along as I learn by doing.  And, when I need a little encouragement now I have a model to look toward; I can look at all the amazing creations of which Steve Jobs was a part of and I know that he followed the same process to amazing success and a life full of gifts given to humanity.  If you’ll do the same then we will be giving humanity the greatest gift available; the gift giving your best!

Starting Anew

“I can start over and be the person I want to be every day.”

Alan Bradshaw

Starting Anew

It was late in the evening.  I was with my friend Alan Bradshaw in his projection room; he owns the Motor Vu Drive-in not far from my house.  Alan was in the process of transferring a movie from the projector back to the reels so it could be shipped to the film distributor; we had just finished our annual neighborhood trunk or treat.  He is kind enough to donate the use of his theater each year for our annual community Halloween celebration where we gather for a barbeque, movie and candy exchange.  It’s a chance for the whole community to come together and enjoy each other’s company.  

At the end of this evening one of our neighbors walked up to me and said, “This is our most favorite tradition.  We have built so many wonderful memories with our family and friends here.”  She’s right; I’ll never forget what Alan taught me as I watched the film spinning to four different reels.

“I really like this movie,” he said.  “I liked the first one too.  I think they have a good message.  In fact, there is a quote from the first movie that changed my life.”

I can’t tell you the exact quote because it was late at night and I didn’t write it down, but it was something like; you can’t change what happened yesterday and you don’t know what will happen in the future, but you can be who you want to be every day.

“I used to spend all my time working.” Alan said.  “One day I saw that I was letting my life pass by.  It seemed as if it happened over night.  Then I heard that quote and I knew I could wake up each day and be the person I wanted to be.  I could change.  I could life a full and happy life.”

I stood not far from him as I listened and watched.  I could hear the whirring sound of the film as it seemingly flung from the projector onto the shipping reels.  With the exception of that noise and the sound of Alan’s voice it was quiet and the light was dim.  But, Alan’s smile was bright and his voice was as light as a dancing waterfall to my ears.

His message is still trickling through my ears.  “I can be who ever I want to be and start anew each day.”  I can still see the twinkle of his eyes, bright with hope and confidence, enlightening my mind.  The two intertwined memories combine to convince me that you and I can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others if we simply make the choice to do so.  I’m so glad that Alan decided to make a difference in my life.  You and I can do the same!

Lost in Thought

“Don’t always believe what you think!”

Bumper Sticker

Lost in Thought

I’m driving in the car and my daughter wants to play the guessing game.  We play this game while driving quite often.  The game is a focused on the identification of a selected mammal, bird, insect, reptile or even a microbe from time to time.  It’s my turn to think of a guessing target.

I clutch the steering wheel and look at the road ahead.  I’m thinking.  I’m still thinking.

She’s waiting.

She finally says, “Are you still thinking?’

I respond, “Yes.  I’m still thinking.”

The thing about this game is that sometimes the most simple selection is the most difficult one to guess.  And, sometimes the most simple selection is the simplest one to guess.  It all just depends on the thought process going on within the person who is guessing!

I’m still thinking;  I remember a bumper sticker I saw the week before. 

“Don’t always believe what you think!”

I know its good advice.  I spend lots of time imagining the worst case of everything that can happen.  I plan for responses to lots of things that never, ever happen.  I have spent my entire life thinking about the imaginary.  I’ve even made myself sick by worrying about the fictitious before.  Maybe that’s the way I’m built.  Perhaps you can relate to this.  Have you ever lost yourself to imaginary fears?

Don’t get me wrong.  Imagination is a wonderful thing.  It can be used to accomplish many great and productive things.  However, Imagination is only a tool.  

I’ve learned that tools can be used to build and tear down.  In either case, they’re very powerful and allow you to be much more productive than you otherwise would be.  But, it’s also important to use any tool correctly; or else you won’t be as productive, or worse, you could be injured or even killed.  The improper use of one’s imagination has one more possible side-effect.

Letting imagined fears rule one’s life can hamper living life itself.  And, that is tantamount to a fettered existence.  A life in chains is not the “good life.”  I want you to live the best life you can possibly live or imagine so here are the steps I’ve been taking to foster a freer mind.

Don’t wait.  If you find yourself thinking that the worst is going to happen relieve your mind by following through as soon as possible.  Doing so lets you deal with the truth rather than your imagined “truth.”

File the true experience away.  Doing so allows you to recognize that you shouldn’t always believe what you think.  A little evidence will go a long way to convincing an unruly mind.

Imagine the best case.  Walt Disney called this process “imagineering.”  He’s a great example of a person who learned to use his imagination as a productive tool.  You and I can do the same!

“Are you ready yet?” my daughter asks.

“Yes.” I respond.

Overcoming Internal Conflict

Your success will only be as great as your fear and insecurities will allow.

- Nicole Scherzinger

Overcoming Internal Conflict

“I find myself thinking that I won’t do very well almost every day.” She said. 

              

“Why do you think that, when you are always successful in everything you do?” I replied.  “I’m never worried about how well you’ll do.  You’re one of the smartest, most capable people I know.”

“I don’t know!  It’s just the way I feel.” She countered.

I spent the next few days thinking about this conversation in great detail.  I reflected on it again and again, knowing that I had the same kind of feelings quite often and I was hoping to find two answers all at once.

Have you ever had the same type of feelings?  It appears to be a competitive world out there and we all know we need to be a little better than the person next to us so as to feel better about ourselves, make enough money and reach our goals.  But is that really the truth?

While I was pondering this conversation I was able to make some discoveries about my own internal processes that I hope will make a difference for you if you’ve ever faced the same personal conflict.

Get started!  Yes.  I know you’ve heard it before and in many different forms, “The hardest part is getting started;” “The hardest thing about writing is staring at a black page;” “The first day is always the hardest.”  I could come up with more of these little sayings, but you get the point!  The illustrative fact about these sayings is that there are so many of them.  There’s a reason for that.  Almost all of us struggle when we’re starting something new or we feel alone when facing a task.  Now that you know this to be true just face any challenge head-on and get started.  As you do, you’ll find that the largest hurdle is already past.  To help myself with this challenge I put a up big sign in my office that says, “The longest task is the one that’s never started!”

Start keeping score!  When faced with new or difficult situations I often worry about my ability to succeed so I’ve started keeping score.  What I mean by that is, I now have a mental list of things I struggled and succeeded with, so when I need to call in the reinforcements I simply start going through my list.  When I’m finished, I feel confident because I know all I need to do is to get started because I’ve succeeded in many similar circumstances.

Just show up!  Most of success in life is just being willing to show up every day and put in a little effort.  Once I figured that out I became much more resilient and patient.  I now know that if I succeed at nothing else I will be the last man standing.

Finally, be your own best cheerleader.  When I came back to my friend and gave her these thoughts I also revealed to her that I have my own little cheer; it’s a little song I sing in my head when I feel as if I can’t succeed.  I know it’s a little corny, so I won’t sing it for you here; it works though!  So, write your own little cheer song and encourage yourself all along the way.

Use these little steps to overcome your fear and insecurities so you can succeed beyond what you thought you could.  You can do it!  Get started now; keep your own score; show up every day; and cheer yourself along.  See if these aids will make a difference for you.  The first step is the hardest!