Getting Around Obstacles

She can see her way around obstacles.

- Bill Lindsay

Getting Around Obstacles

During a meeting this week I listened to a Client describe some challenges related the sale of some of his properties as we were carefully building a strategy that would allow us to succeed under any circumstances.   Our discussions the day before allowed me to know that we could benefit from the expertise of another associate who had some useful specialized knowledge, so I made arrangements for her to join us through a teleconference.

During the call, Bill and I were able to ask her questions and then thoughtfully listen to her replies.  We were both impressed with her knowledge and experience.  She was a great asset in finalizing our strategies.  I knew she would be, but I didn’t anticipate the lesson I was about to learn just after the phone call ended.

“She can see her way around obstacles.” Bill said as I clicked off the speaker phone.

“Yes she can.  She has long and valuable experience coupled with in-depth product knowledge.  Remember when I told you she makes money for me?” I answered.

Then I thought more about his comment and what it could mean for you and me as we face life’s obstacles.   Bill knows that an ability to see an obstacle and ways around it at the same time increases personal and professional value.  Are you using this ability to increase the value in your own life?

You and I face obstacles in every aspect of life and we will continue to do so.  If we will change our focus from the obstacle itself to seeing and creating ways around the impediments we face we’ll be able to live a more satisfying life.  Those who can see around life’s obstacles and then take action to move past them will succeed time and time again. Their world will expand; they won’t be trapped in the same place.  This is a skill that becomes stronger when it is coupled with active experience.

 So, next time you see nothing but obstacles in front of you, take a moment to adjust your vision.  See your way to new opportunity and growth by charting a path around your current hurdle.   It’s just like leaving a dark room and going out into the bright sunshine; you need to take a minute to allow your eyes to adjust to the bright new world in front of you;  looking for alternatives to your obstacles, selecting your succeeding path and taking action will open new vistas and bright hope for  your life.

Life Transformed

Life Transformed

I remember crouching down on a concrete aisle between holding pens in the county animal shelter with my small girls as we tried to determine which of all the cats would become a part of our family.  There were so many nice and pretty cats it was a hard decision and one of the ladies who worked there was assisting us.   

After some time, our guide came over carrying a small Orange Tabby.

I can still see the young cat with wild looking eyes in my mind.  He was different from all the other cats.  He exhibited an untamed spirit that was evident as soon as she put him on the floor.  When his feet hit the ground he streaked off, rushing to find his freedom.  I had my doubts.

As I expressed my misgivings about his suitability, the woman from the animal shelter worked to get our agreement because if this particular cat wasn’t adopted soon, his life would come to an end.  We understood his plight and because we had come to rescue a cat from such a doom we decided to take him home.  As we took our new family member home I never imagined that he would finish elementary, junior high, high school and college with the two daughters who triumphantly carried him over our threshold.

My daughters decided to name our cat “Simba” because they loved the popular movie of the time and because he had the color of the animated beast as well.  I named him Binx and there was soon a battle over what he would really be called.  In the end he was dubbed Simba Binx Butterfield.

Binx continued to display his independence and as Kilee entered kindergarten she went to school with scratches on her face almost every day.  She loved the cat and tried to display it, but the cat didn’t respond in kind.  It wasn’t long before bedtime became a wild, gyrating event because the cat would attack the feet of the girls as they ran to their beds and hid them under the covers.  Then, once in the middle of the night, as I slept, I felt some liquid running down my arm and opened my eyes just in time to see the dreaded cat complete his squat and dart into the darkness.  There was running, yelling, crying and pleading throughout the house and in the end, the cat barely lived.

I was at my wit’s end so I called the animal shelter for help.  They gave me the phone number of a local cat behavior expert and we talked about his manners.  She helped me understand that he was angry with us because we wouldn’t let him go outside.  (We had signed a contract with the animal shelter when we adopted him stating that we would keep him in the house so we did.)  The expert said that he needed to be able to go outside because his life before us was full of the freedom that the outdoors offered and he loved it.  She said, “Let him go out when he wants to.”  We did!  Our relationship improved greatly.

Over the next seventeen years we moved twice and added another daughter to our family.  We also added two dogs, several horses and some cows as well.  Through it all, our cat was part of our lives and we nursed him back to health after something bit the end of his tail off one night, one of his ears was shredded while fighting, he became blind in one eye and was run over by a car.  As you can imagine all of this experience mellowed him and he became more and more of an indoor cat.  In fact, during the last years of his life he slept at my wife’s side and purred the entire night.

Unfortunately, the purring stopped this week and was replaced by tears as Simba Binx Butterfield passed away.  But the lessons he taught us have not passed with him.

We all learned that with love, patience and understanding, life can be transformed from a battle ground to happy years of caring, peace and love.  And, perhaps most of all, we learned that providing love, patience and service will create deep relationships that live well beyond the strength of our bodies.

Life’s Two-way Mirror

Life’s Two-way Mirror

With the sun rise of each day I spend a few minutes in the renewing rays looking through my eyes at a face that is familiar yet ever changing.  My well-known face is looking back at me through a looking glass that reveals only an image of my own making.

Your own making!  You may say.

“Yes”, is my reply.

When looking through my own eyes I see only what I’ve created.  I know the ever increasing lines that now appear with more and more frequency.  I know the look of the eyes and the sagging of the eyebrows as they encroach upon evermore pressing up eye lids.  I know the hair, the nose, and the ears.  And, too often, I am the only one who is all-knowing of the intention that lies contained within the clearly worn cover.

When looking in the mirror, sometimes we all fail to see the intention that lies right before our own eyes.  We act as if it is hidden behind the face that stares back at us.  But it is not.  And, while intention can sometimes be misinterpreted by others in life’s two-way mirror, it should never be forgotten as one of life’s most powerful implements.  It is a powerful tool that can be harnessed as an engine of personal growth and happiness.  I was reminded of its power during a recent telephone conversation.

I was speaking with my mother who is now well in to her eighties when I wondered about how a person of such seasoning views life’s purpose, so I asked, “What are your goals in life?”

She answered quickly, without hesitation, “To have a strong and happy family and to be able to spend time showing my love to my children and grandchildren.”

As soon as her words breathed their life into my ears I thought, “Yes, of course, how silly it was of me to ask.”

She lives her intention each and every day.  She lives it in a way that is so clear that it makes life’s seemingly one-way mirror into a breathing, two-way mirror each moment of every day.  She does this in such an obvious and pure way that everyone who comes into contact with her sees her intention unmistakably.  And, they immediately reflect this strong intention back in the same clear, kind and loving way.

You can do the same.  Live your good intentions through active pursuit and the image you see in the mirror will soon look more attractive with the passing of time and you’ll also see that your life’s mirror will become a two-way mirror that will reflect your goodness infinitely.

Snatch an Instance

“Happy Birthday Puss-Ears.”

- Mark Pugmire and Kevin Young

Snatch an Instance

It was late on my birthday when two messages popped up on my phone.  They were from numbers I didn’t recognize.  But, when my eyes quickly scanned the messages they instantly recognized the words as though cloaked from memories past.

“Happy Birthday Puss-Ears!”

The words penetrated my eyes and flew deep into the recesses of my mind and I knew in an instant who had sent them and I felt a warmth of remembrance begin to fill my chest and glow over the rest of my body.  Remembering the origin of this term was as the sunrise over mountain peaks.  It started with a faint glow and then burst in full glory on my mind.

Mark and Kevin had imagined this term when we were teenagers.  We were out late in the night; I was wearing a “hoody”, the temperatures dropped, my ears were cold so I reached behind my neck and hoisted the hood over my head to cover my icicle ears.

“Puss-Ears,” they sniggered with glee!

It was with the same kind of glee that I picked up my phone the following day to call my two long-time friends to thank them for remembering me.  During one of the calls it was my friend Mark who said, “How long has it been since we’ve talked?”  It had been a long time; too long!

In fact, it had been so long that as my buddy told me of his battle and victory over cancer I was rendered to a tearful stupor of speech.  I was thrilled over his victory but was breathless due to the anvil that had crushed my heart for my absence during his time of life and death struggle.

At the end of our conversation we spoke of getting together and we will, because my view of the transience of friendship was changed forever.  When you realized that present time is all you have, because the future contains only myths manufactured by your mind, you become a new actor; one fully engaged in devouring what life offers you in the moment.

I invite you to join me in becoming a collector of moments.  When a friend calls and you speak of scheduling a rendezvous do it then, on the spot.  If you wait, the moment is gone forever; there will be no calling it back.  So, snatch each instance you can and you’ll experience a life well and joyously lived.

A Small, Brave Girl

“I just dealed with it.”

- Lexi Ellis

A Small, Brave Girl

Adults sometimes feel as if they should have answers to all of life’s challenges and always make decisions that will make live go more smoothly.  As I’ve journeyed toward the end of mortality, one of the greatest shocks of my life has been that adults didn’t have all the answers.  When I was a child I thought they did.  Now that I’m aged I’ve found the reverse is also true. I’m constantly in shock over the fact that many times it’s a child that shows me an answer.  Such is the case this week.

Little Lexi Ellis has a best friend and the two girls ride the school bus together every day.  This week was a little different because Lexi decided she wanted to expand her riding experience by sitting with another friend; when she did so her best friend became angry and lashed out at Lexi.

Anyone who has had an argument with their best friend knows how emotionally difficult it can be.  And when Lexi came home her mother could immediately see that something was wrong.  When she asked her what was wrong the small girl bravely recounted the happenings of the day.

Her mother asked, “How did you handle it?”

“I just dealed with it!” she said.

As I heard these words I found myself recounting the some of the challenging events I faced during the past week and realized that in many instances I could have moved forward more successfully had I just “dealed” with it.  So I’ve vowed to follow Lexi’s example and do better in the coming days.

When next faced with a difficult situation I have a pleasant mental image to flash in my mind now.  I’ll picture a small girl, with a mature outlook on life, standing in front of me saying, I “dealed” with it and so can you.

Things won’t always be the way you and I hoped they would be.  That’s just the way life is.  But, that’s not insurmountable.  We’ll just deal with it and continue to build our bright future together.

My Encouraging Internal Voice

"I've talked myself out of doing a lot."

John Martin

My Encouraging Internal Voice

My phone rang. When I saw the number flash on the screen I was excited because I thought I knew who it was. I was going to answer with, "hi John" but I've guessed wrong so many other times that I decided to forego the embarrassment of guessing wrong again. As it turns out, it was my friend John from Anchorage.

"I'm on my way down to visit for a couple of days and I want to get together," John said.

I was excited to see him because we've been close friends for lots of years. One of the great things about our relationship is that we could go for years without seeing each other, but when we get together is seems to instantly make the time vanish so it's as if we've never spent any time apart. This time was no exception and we dove into a great conversation over lunch.

As we talked, John described something that I've noticed in my own life. "There a lot of things I'd like to do, but as I spend time thinking about it I find that I talk myself out of doing it. I've talked myself out of doing a lot."

I replied, "I do the same kind of thing. My excuses are statements such as, I don't have the time, I don't have the money or the one I seem to use more and more often, I'm too old to do that now." As these words escaped my lips I thought, "Perhaps I can do something about this habit."

Since I've been talking myself out of doing what I want to do, could change and begin to use that same powerful process to my benefit? Some people would call this the process of harnessing the power of affirmation. But, what I'm talking about is something different. Or, perhaps I've simply used the wrong process of affirmation building in the past. Here's an example and the steps of my new process and I hope you'll benefit from using the steps in your own life.

My friend Cade came up to me this morning and we talked for a while. During the conversation I thought, "I want to speak with him about participating in my neighborhood project." I've been meaning to speak with my neighbors about participating in my idea but I keep talking myself out of it because of the fear of rejection. So, as Cade and I conversed, I decided to "talk myself in to overcoming my fear." The results were wonderful.

Cade said, "I didn't know anyone else felt like this, of course I'll participate!"

Here's why I think this "self encouragement" worked: First, I have deep feelings about my neighborhood project. It's something I really believe in, so I have a growing passion for it. Second, I've come to the conclusion that I need to stop waiting for someone else to take the lead. If a difference is to be made then I need to be actively involved in making it. Third, as I surround myself with others who accept my invitation I'm more and more encouraged. Finally, I've found that a little encouragement from myself goes a long way. This little spark from inside is the driver for my success and it takes only little sparks on a regular basis to move things forward in a positive direction. Try these steps and see if they don't have the same effect in your life.

1. Discover your passions from deep within.
   
2. Lead yourself from the heart.
   
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
   
4. Spark your passion with combined internal and external encouragement.
   

The more small success I have along the way, the more I believe and then my encouraging self-talk soon becomes my loudest internal voice, my leading voice, and my voice of success.