“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.”  - George Washington

The Greater Triumph

One of the most perceptibly put-together-people I know, a person seemingly free from inner conflict, offered a glimpse of the “Greater Triumph” during a very personal conversation.

“I just don’t know if I can keep doing this.”  He said.  “I’ve thought about it over and over again.  And, I’ve concluded, I’m going to do what I think is best for me.”

It was a moment of revealed personal torture and decision.  Decision, because his boss had delivered a veiled threat.

“I guess you can do that, but our investors expect you to come into line with their desire not to take any time off.”  His employer had warned.

You see, my friend spends much of his personal time as a mentor to teenaged boys and he was going to take some vacation time to do more.  He acts as a mentor to them, because others did so for him, when he was at this same impressionable stage of life. He has never forgotten it.  Just as I have never forgotten invaluable counsel from George Washington, one of my heroes and posthumous mentors. 

“The harder the conflict, the greater the triumph.”  Mr. Washington once said.

Another plain and simple complimentary truth comes from Brant Hansen, author and radio personality. Brant teaches that all people can use their own innate weakness to their advantage.” 

Wow! As he sees it, we must not shy away from our own inherent weakness because it is our most valuable teacher and is the evidence of essential interdependence. The bottom line here is that we are all weak.  And, where we are personally weak, others are strong. Embracing weakness will bring us to understand our, too often ignored interdependence, if we allow it to.

Embracing the concept of using personal weakness as a pathway toward growth opens the possibility of discovery.  The discovery of an inescapable fork in life’s road. We can choose to be entirely self-reliant, dependent on our natural gifts and abilities, without reliance on others, or we can seek to offer our strength, as well as receive strength, from others around us. 

Accepting strength from others relieves those, who choose the principle of interdependence, from solely bearing often debilitating natural consequences; the often times heavy burden of fully isolating-self-reliance and loneliness. In short, we all need to rely on others who also have our best interests at heart.  And in fact, there will surely be times when all of us will need to lean on the goodness of others during good, as well as bad, times.

Choosing to become a selfless attendant to others is the first key to winning the hardest conflict we will ever face. Here are additional steps to start down this crucial path to victory over self.

Second, we must recognize the flawed basis of remaining fixed in self-sufficiency.  Admitting that we have never been really been operating under our own power is essential in allowing weakness to become our teacher.  If we fail, or are unwilling to do so, we let our own individual pride stand in the way.

Third, we need to make it a habit and priority to offer our gifts to others. As we do, we will be often tempted to do things on own, relying on our own wisdom and power. In such times we must give both big and sometimes, seemingly small offerings to others. Especially as we witness those around us walking through painful, mundane, and often common circumstances in their lives. 

Lastly, we must recognize that relying solely on our own wisdom and judgment is a path to nowhere. A path not allowing the greater triumph described by George Washington.  He knew that the battle to overcome self is the greatest combat one will ever encounter.  That’s why he kept a list, rules of civility, essential virtues, in the forefront of his mind throughout his life.  He made the decision to continually remind himself of that choice, just like my perceptibly put-together friend, who made the same decision to follow his own rules of civility when facing the greater conflict.

There will always be times when each of us is forced to choose what path we’ll take. Will you and I truly face the harder conflict, so we can achieve the greater triumph described by Mr. Washington? 

In the end, each must make the decision on their own.  Yet, we can be there to help each other seize triumph.