“You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them” – Shonda Rhimes

Crossing Imaginary Lines

“Are you available to have dinner with me tonight?”  A recognizable voice asked over the telephone, and pronounced through the speakers of the car I was driving.

“Sure.”  I said.  “Where would you like to meet?”

“Where are you now?”  He asked in response.

“I’m driving to Midvale right now.  I have a couple of things to do in my office.  Then, I’ll be available.”

“OK.  How about meeting at 5:30?”

We settled on a location.  I finished my business.  I drove the few minutes to the restaurant.  

Humm, perhaps those last three sentences are drawn within assumed lines.

I mean, many times people tend to create a type of imaginary line between business and things of a “more” personal nature.  And, at this moment I thought I was traveling toward a business meeting.  I couldn’t have been more wrong, as I was about to find out shortly after arrival.

I arrived at the restaurant first and got a table.  It was a table near a bank of windows which shed a warm light.  And, it was also isolated from other customers.  This selection wasn’t intentional, but it turned out to be ideal.  It also made it easy for my companion to see me easily as soon as he walked through the door.

As soon as he came through the door and sat down I could see something was bothering him.  He had a crease of worry across his brow.  It was very noticeable and when he sat with a harrumph his discomfort was magnified.  As soon as he was seated he began to talk of business, but it was just a pretense.  What he really needed was a friend.  

“There is that imaginary line again!”  I thought to myself.  My business associate was struggling to cross that line.  His apprehension to cross that line palpable, so I decided to help.

“Tell me what’s weighing on you.”  I requested. “You know, you don’t have to carry this burden alone.”

I looked at him intently, just to make sure he knew I really meant it.  Then, in about one second, I saw a sign that he had accepted my invitation.  A tear began to slip gently from his left eye; then from his right eye as well.  He began to talk, and cry. We had both crossed a line.

I’d never seen this friend, of more than twenty years, shed tears.  Perhaps it was because we had wasted all that time drawing lines that needn’t be drawn.  Whatever those lines were, they were now, gratefully, erased.  Some other things we also erased.

My friend was no longer shouldering his fears alone.  Moving past imaginary lines allowed us to find understanding and comfort through shared experience.  It was a time of encouragement and confirmation.

He now knew he was not alone and that someone else understood what he was going through.  We were, for the first time, living our lives together.  It was a deepening, enriching experience for both of us.  All because we were brave enough to cross imaginary lines.

Shonda Rhimes once said, “You can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them”

Will you and I be brave enough to cross imaginary lines, so we can discover greater joy and comfort in our relationships and community?