The Process of Healing

“I thought I would wake up one morning and everything would be alright.”
- Tom Gledhill

The Process of Healing

Thank goodness for elevators! I was on the phone talking away, like always, when the elevator I called opened. “Got to go,” I said.

“I’m getting on an elevator.”

As chance would have it, my friend Tom Gledhill was getting on this elevator at the same time. We were the only two people riding up in the car. It gave us a chance to spend a few precious moments talking.

Uninterrupted!

There seems to be fewer and fewer times when I take the opportunity to turn everything else off and really spend one-on-one time with other people I care about. This was one of those times and I wasn’t about to let it slip through my fingers!

I had spoken with Tom not long ago to express my sympathies to him. Doing so had been difficult for me, because after all is said and done; there is no way for me to feel what Tom feels because I don’t know what Tom knows.

After our short talk together I felt a stronger connection and had gotten a brief glimpse of what he was going through. That short-lived conversation changed my relationship with Tom forever. It seems as if taking the time to really look into someone’s eyes provides an unparalleled opportunity.

It is an opportunity to “absorb” the light coming directly from another person. It is an opportunity to be taught in an unspoken way. It is an opportunity to really see who the other person is and what they are feeling. It is an opportunity to be invited through a gate that one can never enter any other way.

The elevator doors were another gate for me. When they closed, the rest of the world seemed to be pressed aside. I felt relief pulsate through my body. I knew I could relax. I knew I could have uninterrupted moments to speak with my friend again.

“How are you doing?” I asked carefully. I wanted to make sure Tom knew what this question really meant, because when it is usually asked we don’t really want to know. This was a time when I really did want to know!

I’ll never forget his words, “I thought I would wake up one morning and everything would be alright.”

I replied, “That’s just what happens to me. I think I’ll wake up one day and everything will have changed and will be different. It seems to be part of the healing process.”

When someone of great value is taken from my life it is never easy. I don’t take change very well so it tends to be a long difficult healing process. I have good days and I have bad days; but at least I have the days.

As I look through my experiences I have come to the conclusion that time was created for just this purpose. It gives us a chance to break things up into smaller pieces. You know the old saying about eating an elephant one bite at a time?

Using time as a tool can do the same thing for us as we deal with challenges in our lives. It is a tool that can allow us to heal after difficult challenges. It is a tool that will allow our faith to manage what would otherwise be unbearable.

Here are the steps I’ve been using to discipline time so it can be used as a tool for healing:
First, I recognize that time is a gift, given with a purpose. This alone has been of great benefit to me. I used to think of time as “the enemy.” Now, I have accepted it in a new way so it can be embraced rather than fought. Making peace with time has increased my internal calm a great deal.

Second, when I feel anxious, I take a moment to remember that time is allowing this discomfort to be a fleeting moment. That means I won’t always feel this way! What great relief it is to have hope for a better day! Hope is the basis for the creation of renewal.

Third, I accept the power of time to heal. Just as it takes time for a cut or bruise to heal on my skin, I know that time will allow my spirit, soul and mind to heal if I will welcome it to do so. I wish I could explain how time heals, but I can’t. I just know it does and I feel gratitude for it.

Finally, I am using the gift of time to enhance my relationships more and more. What I mean by that is, I am accepting the gift of time to build my relationships. I don’t want to be hurried when I talk with my friends and family anymore. I want to use the time to look into their eyes and absorb their essence within myself. That way I can “stop time,” when I want to, so as to allow myself the pleasure of feeling the warmth of their presence, the joy of their laughter, the brightness of their light whenever I want to!

I said, “Please remember I’m your friend!” when Tom and I parted. After all I am his friend and would do whatever he asked me to do, if it would give him comfort.

I offer the same to you, my friend. I hope you will offer yourself to others as well. I hope you can use my steps for healing in your life. Use them to be well. Use them to be happy. Use them to help other people along their way.

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