Deepening Gratitude

“Isn’t it amazing that I can sit in comfort with my sons! All I have to do is walk over to the wall and push a button to set the temperature exactly how I want it! After I do that, whoosh! It happens.”
- Danny Marz

Deepening Gratitude

I know lots of people who only want to use a conversation to convince the other party that their point of view is “right.” But, the older I get the more I am appreciating other points of view as a wonderful avenue to inspiration. Now I love to have conversations as a gateway to a new view of the world. That’s exactly what happened as I sat with my friend Danny Marz early last week.
Danny and I were talking with a group of other people about gratitude when he said, “I rarely have a bad day because I spend most of the time being grateful for almost everything. I bet I have only about one or two days per month when I’m not happy and then that unhappiness can’t plague me too long because I see all of the good things all around me.”

As you can imagine, my interest was stimulated by this statement and I was delighted to have him continue on.

“I look at all the amazing things that help me every day; like I take my garbage out to the street every Thursday and someone comes along with a truck and takes it away for me!”

Danny went on to say that he was grateful for the way the garbage was taken away because he only had to take a few minutes to roll the container out to the street and not take all the time and effort to load it up in his car and take it far away to the county facility to recycle or dispose of it! That gives him time to do more things he likes to do such as spend time with his sons watching movies.

As Danny was telling me this, I watched his eyes flash as he taught me more about what I have come to call “deep gratitude.” He went on to say, “Isn’t it amazing that I can sit in comfort with my sons! All I have to do is walk over to the wall and push a button to set the temperature exactly how I want it! After I do that, whoosh! It happens.”

“Then when it’s time get my boys ready to bed, we go to the bathroom and turn a faucet handle so that water will come out at the precise temperature for taking a bath. Now that’s a wonderful thing!”

Danny looked me right in the eye and said, “How can you have a bad day when all of these wonderful things are all around us?”

How indeed!

I’ve spent the last seven days reflecting on what Danny has taught me. I have to admit I thought I had already turned myself into a grateful person. And, I have. But, for the first time I can see how far I have to grow when it comes to being truly, deeply grateful. So, I’ve created a simple formula to help myself. I offer it to you:

1. Be disciplined. This has taken a new kind of discipline for me. I am already pretty good about disciplining myself to wake up at 5:30 in the morning and spending an hour in exercise and meditation. (Don’t think I have the perfect body or anything!) This one hour in the morning, my friend Garrett Gunderson calls it the “Power Hour,” sets the stage for the rest of my day and it really makes a difference for me. Now I’m going to a deeper, smaller, level during this time period. Now I meditate on the smallest thing possible to be grateful for and then I concentrate on seeing it during the whole day. I’ve found my mind wandering away regularly but I am getting better at pulling my focus back to the small. I think you’ll have the same experience in disciplining your mind, but don’t worry; you’ll get better at it the more you practice.

2. Don’t let big things get in your way. The trick here is to know that what you have been focusing on in the past is HUGE in comparison to the smallest thing you can think of to be grateful for. It will seem counterintuitive that the small will dwarf the large in importance! But, as you get better and better with your focus, but the small will conquer the large if you’ll stay the course.

3. Practice hard. I wasn’t used to thinking of small things deeply! As I look back over my life I can see that for the most part, I’ve been socialized to think in large terms over long periods of time. You know, “life goals?” Stepping back and seeing the small right now takes a lot of practice and I’m sure it will take me a long time and lots of practice to make it a way of life.

4. Learn to pick yourself up when the large crushes on your mind. I know that Danny is to the point where he only has a “bad” day once or twice in a month. As you can see from the conversation we had, he has learned to be grateful for the small almost constantly. When larger things come into his view he is able to make a shift in his mind to instantly make the small loom large in his life! You can do the same thing. I know you can, because if I can do it you can too.

5. Take care of yourself. I’ve found that the most constant challenge in focusing on gratitude for the smallest is related to how my body is feeling. If I allow myself to become fatigued by not getting enough sleep then it gets harder and harder for me to stay small. If you need 8 hours of sleep, part of your transformation will be to take care of yourself so you can have the internal fortitude to keep your mental condition conducive to the mental and emotional effort required. It takes big effort to focus on the small!

If you’ll follow these steps for a week you’ll notice an incredible change in your life. These are the changes I’ve noticed: First, I was able to turn inside myself and remain amazingly calm during one of the most challenging transactions of my life. Rather than feel my stomach churning with anxiety, my focus on gratitude for the small really allowed me to stay calm in the midst of emotional chaos being hurled from other people. Second, what had become “normal anxiety” related to everyday living has now vanished. Third, I’ve felt a renewed excitement and confidence about the bright future coming my way.

As you implement these five steps, you’ll have the same results or better! I would be excited to hear about your results so let me know how being grateful for the smallest is changing your life!