"On the Inside" Monday's Warm Cocoa 12.29.2025

"I had a strong feeling." – Randy Cummins

On the Inside

“I wanted to give you a call,” Randy said in an unusually subdued tone. “I wanted you to know.”

Randy was on his way home from the hospital. He had been in the hospital for a few days after suffering a considerable heart attack and receiving a subsequent surgery to restore blood flow. It was just like him to think about others! It is his natural instinct and practice, yet I was about to learn something more profound about him. Randy is led from the inside, out.

“I had a strong feeling,” he said as he began to explicate.

He had been deeply touched by the example and kindness of one particular family many years ago. They had come to his aid when his first daughter was born.

“They opened their hearts and home to us when we really needed help,” he continued. “They didn’t know us well at the time. All they knew was that we needed help. So, they assisted us without asking anything in return.”

Randy went on to say that the strong feelings he was having had created an internal, profound urgency. He was driven by the importance of expressing gratitude to this decades-old difference making family. To express the feelings of his heart, to let them know that even after many years their kindness was still impacting him. And, at the same time, he had another feeling impressing on him.

“Almost concurrently, earlier in the day, I sat with my wife and we discussed deeply meaningful things,” Randy continued. “I just thought it was an important thing to do at the moment. It wasn’t long after I had finished that I was sitting at my desk.”

Randy went to get up from his desk, after sending the message expressing his gratitude and collapsed. His son came running in to help him, followed closely by his wife. He told them he thought he’d be okay. Yet, Randy’s son immediately called for help and got him to the hospital. It was a good thing he did!

Once in the hospital Randy was rushed into life saving surgery. His call to me came two days later as he was being driven home.

“You somehow knew inside that something major was about to happen. It was a gift to be willing to listen on the inside,” I said with reverence.

“The feelings were strongly influential and I’m glad I listened,” Randy said in reply. “Because sometimes timing is indeed everything and the chance to listen ends. Listen on the inside.”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10S8aY1KXHyzkBm-Xm7gUyQecrZqeYJNI/view?usp=sharing

"By Addition" Monday's Warm Cocoa 12.22.2025

Twenty-seven countries, one chosen citizenship.

By Addition

“All rise!”

Everyone in one particular District Court of the United States stood as the judge walked into the courtroom. She was the last person to come into an already sardine-packed-room. To say there were a lot of people there is an understatement as another close by room was also filled with interested parties.

Every person was interested in being there for one or two reasons in common. The first reason was for those who had come to take their own, initial oath of U.S. citizenship. The second reason was to watch a loved-one attain their long hoped for U.S. citizenship. There were smiles all around.

The judge was also smiling as she opened the proceeding before saying, “Let’s go around the room and have each hopeful applicant tell us their name and what nation they’re from. Each candidate then took a turn to stand, say their name and state their current nationality. There were men and women with variety of age and one common hope and sense of accomplishment, even amongst huge personal and national diversity.

“United Kingdom,” “Bhutan,” “Mexico,” “Nepal,” “Canada,” “Sweden,” “Honduras,” “Russia.” The count went on until there were twenty-seven countries having been called out. At the end, the judge spoke about strength in diversity.

“We used to speak about American as a ‘melting-pot,” she said. “But, I think of our joining together a little differently. I like to think of each person who becomes a citizen as adding their uniqueness to our whole. It is an addition that allows our nation to become continually better.”

Then, she asked every applicant to stand, raise their right arm to the square and take the oath of citizenship. She led the oath with strength and pride. When completed, the court clerk took the a newly minted, personalized certificate of citizenship and presented it to each new citizen before the culmination of the ceremony.

“I invite everyone to stand to face the flag,” the judge announced. “Please repeat the pledge of allegiance.”

The already seasoned attendees stood and put their right hands over their heart as the judge started and they participated, “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Yet what is commonplace for one is often new for another. Some of the new citizens did know the tradition with exactness. Some struggled with the placement of their hand over their heart, while others whose English was a newer language, watched the lip movement of the judge carefully. And, everyone participated with sincerity and commitment.

Because, citizenship is a commitment to a nation as well as to each other. It is a pledge to give our nation and our fellows our very best. All rise!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10S8aY1KXHyzkBm-Xm7gUyQecrZqeYJNI/view?usp=sharing

"Granddad" Monday's Warm Cocoa 12.15.2025

"I’m busy getting a new home finished for my coming grandbaby.” – Darrell Gibby

Granddad

“I’m busy getting a new home finished for my coming grandbaby.” Darrell said over the phone, “The baby is coming soon and we’re close to getting a new home built in time for the arrival.

Darrell is not going to be living in the house. But, his son and wife and their other two young children will be living there. They’ve all been working together to finish the construction for their growing family. They started building their new home a little over one year ago and have been doing almost all of the construction themselves. So, finding time to fling a hammer or wield other tools has been challenging since both father and grandfather have demanding careers.

Some grandparents would simply say they’re too busy, too old or too tired to throw themselves into such a large project. But not this Granddad! And, he is also busier than many others. He practices law, having his own firm, helps to care for aging parents and works as a volunteer, donating countless hours each week in his community. It is almost as if he is a “constructive tornado”! He does so much, one might be tempted to think of him as a “unicorn granddad.” Yet, if he is a mythical unicorn granddad he’s not the only one.

I sent a message to my friend Rob Surom two days ago asking if I could come over to visit. He’s “retired.” I was surprised to receive his unexpected response.

“It would have to be after 2 p.m. today,” he responded before I asked to come over at 4 p.m. that afternoon. But my schedule unexpectedly cleared so I sent a follow up request asking if I could come a little earlier. That’s when I received another text from him saying, “We’re home. You can come now.”

I wondered who the “we” was referring to as I knew his wife was working busily at the Children’s Hospital. My question was answered when I was invited into his home to find a baby girl held in this former naval aviator’s arms.

“I spend my days watching my grandkids,” Rob said with his disarming smile.

“Granddad,” I said to myself as Rob’s granddaughter looked at me and began to cry!

Rob immediately comforted her and in no time at all her tears were gone and her eyes were again a bright cerulean blue. Those cute eyes weren’t the only blue I saw after spending time with Rob and Darrell.

I saw a promising blue sky ahead for their grandchildren and I understood the use of “grand” as a precursor to the term grandfather and grandad!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10S8aY1KXHyzkBm-Xm7gUyQecrZqeYJNI/view?usp=sharing

"Bryan's Recipe" Monday's Warm Cocoa 12.8.2025

"It all starts with the dough.” – Bryan Brandon

Bryan’s Recipe

I was sitting across a table from Chef Tyler Rogers. He’d been crafting a new menu over the past year. One focused on local food products and producers. After explaining the basis of his menu, he brought out a couple of dishes for tasting.

The first dish, smoked shrimp with smoked pimento cheese, came with a beautiful slice of sourdough bread. When I tasted these in combination my eyes rolled back into my head. It was sublime! I had never tasted such layered, complimentary flavors. And, it was anchored solidly by the bread.

“This bread is amazing,” I said, before asking, “Did you make this bread in-house?”

“No,” Chef Rogers answered. “We get it here locally from Ozark Natural Breads.”

I made a mental note of that, excitedly thinking that, perhaps I would be able to purchase some of this crusty, tasteful bread to eat at home. But alas, my hopes were quickly quashed when Chef Rogers went on to tell me that the bread was only available on a wholesale basis. Still, I never gave up hope and before long I thrilled at the sight of Ozark Natural Breads in a farmer’s market.

That’s where I met company owner, master baker and artisan Bryan Brandon. Since then we’ve become friends and he’s been kind enough to teach me a little about what makes his offerings so delectable.

“It’s all about the dough,” Bryan told me in his bakery yesterday.

His sourdough starter began twenty-two years ago. Since then he added a cooling room to make it more vigorous. And, he’s worked to become better at his craft every day since he received his Bachelor’s Degree from the American Institute of Baking, completed an apprenticeship in a French bakery near Normandy and purchased the bakery from his parents. As a result, he’s an extraordinary artisan baker.

As an artisan baker he is constantly experimenting. He’s always working to improve his product and offerings. And he showed me his diversity by taking me on a little field trip to one of his latest ventures, Wicked Wood Fired Pizza. 

It’s a great little shop anchored by a colorful, large wood fired pizza oven, highlighting the side of his small restaurant. When I tasted his pizza, it filled my mouth with the flavor of red oak smoked sour dough!

When I pointed that out, Bryan looked at me with his big, wide, welcoming smile and said, “It’s all about the dough.”

That’s when I agreed, “Yes! A good, happy life requires a great base enhanced by constant experimentation and adaption. Then, when you throw in additional quality ingredients such as spice and diverse toppings, you have Bryan’s recipe for pure joy!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

"Harmony" Monday's Warm Cocoa 12.1.2025

"A Marshallese Man Singing.”

Harmony

The vestibule of the large building was filled with people. I was one of them and I didn’t know any of them sitting, waiting there with me. I didn’t expect to as I was there as a favor for a friend. Such situations can be stressful! You know, sitting with strangers surrounding you in a strange place.  Waiting!

I’ve never been particularly good at waiting. Not in a doctor’s office (one of the reasons I rarely see one), not in airports, and now that I’m thinking about it as a reflection, I’ve come to realize that it is clearly not something I like to do, period! But, in this case I was happier to do so because I was helping someone important to me. As fate would have it, it turns out though, that there was another reason to like waiting on this one occasion.

That reason turned out to be an old man, with silver hair, a color matching mustache, and just between caramel-cocoa-bean colored skin. He wasn’t the only one with similar features with me in that lobby last week. Most of the others waiting with me were also Marshallese as it turns out. I was the odd person in the hotchpotch assembly of waiters there. Yet, this man stood out from all others waiting with us there.

He stood out because of, what appeared to be one of his personal and natural traits. He was gently, quietly singing traditional Marshallese songs. His tones were sweet, heartfelt and soothing. So much so that the bothered nature of my waiting-disorder quickly melted away. The entire waiting room had become peaceful because of him. All of the faces around the room reflected his invited contentment. Each face matched my own. Suddenly, sitting with strangers was replaced with commonality.

We had a common feeling of serenity just because one person in the room, the “singing man” was able to remove cultural differences and angst by gifting us with what could be thought of as a lullaby. Yet, it was a serenade that too quickly ended.

The big, double doors just to my left abruptly opened. Those doors ushered in the end of singing man’s induced trance. His voice was stilled and I was startled to know that our waiting had too soon ended. I was sad when the music of the moment had ceased. So, when the musical man walked near me I came up to him.

“Your singing is beautiful,” I said in gratitude with an outstretched hand of friendship.

He accepted my hand and my thanks with his warm caramel eyes gifting me amity in return. Or was his gift harmony?

Yes. The singing man’s gift is harmony!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

"Remembering" Monday's Warm Cocoa 11.24.2025

"Remember your why.” – Lucas Treat

Remembering

Every Wednesday, 1 Million Cups provides a supportive, inclusive space for entrepreneurs and their communities to gather and connect; where they can work through business challenges and identify opportunities. During “Cups” people discover business solutions and engage with their local community. They’ve done so since the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation developed and began the 1 Million Cups network across America in 2012.

Since then participants have worked toward economic stability, mobility, and prosperity together in community. By working together, participants champion ideas and support solutions designed to improve education, boost entrepreneurship, and help communities and individuals thrive. It also opens the way for personal, lasting friendships to form.

Lucas Treat is the perfect example of such business-to-friendship success. He began attending 1 Million Cups as a small business owner. He started a small, on-line camera resale company about five years ago and presented his fledgling company and concept on one Wednesday morning, so he could receive feedback and ideas as to how to make his company more successful.

After that, he volunteered to video broadcast his local chapter meeting on Facebook, so those not able to attend in person could still benefit and participate virtually. Today, he continues to volunteer as a member of his local organizing team. He is a faithful attendee, participant, friend to many, and encourager to the one.

Being an encourager to the one means he has formed individual friendships within the 1 Million Cups community over several years and he seeks to make a personal connection with those friends each week.

“How are things going?” Lucas said as he purposefully approached one such friend after last week’s meeting had ended.

“It’s going ok,” his friend replied, in a voice weighed down with worry and filled with angst.

That worry and angst was not missed nor overlooked by Lucas. After all, one of the traits that makes Lucas successful in his business is the same trait that allows him to form successful, long-term friendships. He focuses on the people he lives and works with.

Lucas takes the time to learn about the people surrounding him. He practices active friendship. He does so in a friendly, interested manner. Those that know him know he cares about the details of their lives. This interaction was not an exception.

“Do you remember the reason you decided to do the work you’re doing?” Lucas responded with his characteristic, disarming smile. “Remember your why,” He continued.

His smile was absorbed by his friend, as was his short, poignant advice.

“Thanks Lucas,” the friend said. “I’m going to spend some time remembering.”

Then the friend asked Lucas how his wife and toddler were doing. Because, he reciprocally, genuinely cares about Lucas. I could see that in his response. I could also see its impact on Lucas.

The impact and skill of remembering goes beyond one person and one moment. It is a vital part of creating and maintaining continuous joy, as well as successful relationships.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Internal Drive, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 17 November 2025

“She and her example created my internal drive!” – Carol Silva Moralez

Internal Drive

“Excellerate Foundation and Walton Family Foundation joined leaders from local academic institutions and major employers to connect the region's untapped workforce to skilled positions in high demand industries,” Carol Silva Moralez said as she began to talk about the non-profit she leads.

The Upskill NWA mission is to connect under-employed and under-represented non-traditional students with their dream careers. They provide access to education, offer coaching and mentoring to navigate the educational system, connect individuals with essential “wrap-around services,” and ultimately help them to secure higher-wage jobs with healthcare partners. They change lives!

Since 2022, 373 people have enrolled and 88% percent of enrollees and stayed in the program. 87 participants have graduated since 2022 and 90% of graduates have been placed with employers. But, perhaps the most impressive program result is that graduates have secured 132% percent increase in household income!

Carol’s presentation had ignited inspiration, causing me to wondered after her personal path and its impact on this remarkable professional and community success. So, I sought to have a quiet, personal conversation with her following her formal presentation.

“You seem to have a very personal connection with your work,” I offered.

“Yes,” Carol responded. “For much of my life my mother was single and struggling to provide for us. I watched as she studied each night after a long day of work. Then, I watched her get a new position as a result!”

She went on to say that her mother’s hard work set a valuable example for her and when her mom got that new job, as a result of her extended effort at night, it was a major milestone for the whole family. But, that wasn’t the end of what her mother wrote on Carol’s internal drive.

“My mom kept working to improve her skills,” Carol said with tears starting to build in her eyes. “I watched her walk across the stage to get her bachelor’s degree when she was fifty-five!”

By this time Carol’s tears were running down her face as she re-lived this momentous life-changing experience.

“You’d think that was the biggest moment I shared with my mom, but it isn’t. She never stopped guiding me. She knew me better than anyone. She knew me better than I knew myself.”

Carol’s mom kept telling her she was a teacher every time Carol shared a conquered educational or professional milestone with her.

“I graduated from college. I got my first management position with a major global business. Then, I was hired to run a whole division at that corporation. My mother was proud of me, but she kept saying she knew I was a teacher and she could not be prouder,” Carol explained.

“When I received this position as CEO at Upskill, I knew that this is the teaching and mentoring my mother knew I was meant to do. Even though my mother is no longer with us, I know she’d tell me this is my purpose! After all, she and her example created my internal drive!”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Goodness Currents, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 1.10.2025

“I just feel like I’m working really hard and nothing is happening.”

Goodness Currents

The conversation started on the telephone. It lasted for more than an hour. I could hear the worry and frustration. I could also feel her pain as my friend described the background of circumstances she faced.

After we ended the call, to my surprise, the conversation shifted to text.

“Do you have some have some time?” 

I responded with a quick, “yes.”

Her next text asked, “You don’t think I’m doing a terrible job, do you?”

“No! I think you’re doing a great job! You have two great kids. They’re happy and health and you’re well respected professionally,” I typed back.

Then her fingers stroked, “I just feel like I’m working really hard and nothing is happening.”

“That’s the way life is. It is, often, as if you’re fighting to stay above water and not making progress. Then, suddenly you find yourself surprised, almost magically, by being pushed along in a stream of amazing progress. When this happens it’s as if you had nothing to do with it. But you do! You’re doing very well. Just keep up doing the small things every day and you’ll find real progress when you least expect it,” were the words tapped by my fingers in response.

When my fingers came to a rest I thought, “how I wish I understood these seemingly invisible currents of life.”

Even though I don’t fully understand them and can’t see these currents with my eyes, or map them on a piece of paper or computer, I see the results of their existence regularly. I see their impact along my own path as well as on the path of others. Just as in the life of this comfort-seeking-friend. 

Life currents seemingly serve as a principal pathway of exchange both individually as well as with groups of people and even cultures. And, these currents are often strongly constrained by individual decisions and actions. They can even be noticeably obstructed when a large group of people decide to alter their offered goodness. Such obstructions show up throughout the history of our world. I’m sure if you take a moment you’ll be able to identify monumentally negative shifts of these currents locally and globally.

Counter balancing positive shifts are often more difficult to identify. But, if you reflect within you’ll be able to identify helping currents throughout your own history. Once recognize them and keep practicing, you’ll find yourself being able to actually feel life’s invisible, helping current pulling you along.

Even when life is not going well at a moment, the practice of identifying goodness currents will provide you with reassurance of their continuous, helping hand. That assurance will propel you along with a knowledge that goodness is on its way.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Super Hero Help, Monday's Warm Cocoa 11.3.2025

“My wife called me asking for help.” – Chris Hobgood

Super Hero Help

Chris Hobgood just got new neighbors. They’re so new that he and his family don’t really know them yet. They simply haven’t had enough time to get to know them since they recently moved in. But, that didn’t stop them from being great neighbors a couple of days prior to Halloween.

“We’re going to dress as ‘Scooby-Doo Where Are You!’ characters,” Chris said as he described how members of his family, including their three dogs, were going to dress to impersonate characters from the beloved late-sixties and onward cartoon series. The series features a group of “kids” who solve mysteries while helping others.

“Oh, and did I tell you what happened a couple of days ago?” Chris nonchalantly asked, as if foreshadowing his Halloween character “Fred.”

“My wife called asking for help,” Chris recalled, while describing that call received in the middle of the afternoon.

She was calling because she heard a distressed child crying outside, next door. 

“Some people would do nothing, because they didn’t know the child,” Chris continued. “But this small six-year-old girl needed someone to offer her comfort and my wife stepped up immediately.”

Chris put his business on hold and began his drive home so he and his wife could begin to solve “the mystery of the crying child.”

Upon his arrival he found the little girl enjoying treats and adoring dogs. All three of his dogs had surrounded the girl and were offering her wagging tails and comforting kisses. No wonder the dogs had been selected to be members of the family’s Scooby-doo cast for Halloween!

Chris and his wife enlisted a few other friends to come to the rescue as well. They’ve developed deep relationships with members of their community. Even close friends who are local police officers came to help, just because, “that’s what neighbors are for.”

As a result of caring neighbors and dogs the mystery was solved quickly. The girl’s teen-aged sister had simply been delayed at school and was relieved to see all of the support their new neighbors had given her young sibling. They’re not living amongst strangers anymore!

They moved into a neighborhood filled with superheroes. And, last night those heroes dawned their costumes and alter-egos in public. Alter-egos are generally fictional personas or characters used by an author, artist, or public figure to speak for them or represent a hidden side. This is most common when discussing superheroes. But not here in this neighborhood.

The Hobgoods and their neighbors are the real deal! They offer superhero help, disguised as regular people and celebrate their character in costume one night each year.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Unintended Loneliness, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 10.27.2025

"Giving advice to others is giving a piece of yourself to them.” – John Hill

Unintentional Loneliness

I was sitting in a large auditorium listening to a presentation by John Hill, Vice President of story at Whop. There were quite a few people in the auditorium, yet I was sitting alone on one row. I was also the only attendee over twenty-five years of age. It’s interesting how a person can feel lonely when surrounded by lots of other people!

As a result of this feeling, I thought about the day before, when I was sitting at the kitchen table of a ninety-one-year-old friend.

“Not one person called or visited me yesterday,” he said, unable to hide the lonely disappointment in his voice.

He lives in a large, mountain property with a lot of land. He’s alone now. His wife recently passed away. Of this he says, “my wife left me.” He has some family members living in the same state, but they’re at a distance, making it difficult to be with him daily. I peered at him.

He seemed to be a small boat, drifting on a huge, once peaceful ocean, turned turbulent. He was rudderless.

“What would you like to do with your life now?” I asked. “What are you looking forward to?”

After all, my friend is physically and mentally healthy. I look at him with wonder, hoping I can fare so well at his age.

“Giving advice to others is giving a piece of yourself to them,” John Hill said, bringing me back to the large auditorium. “The foundation for all strong relationships is face-to-face communication. Video telephone conversations would be next best. The weakest relationship builders are email and text.” He continued, causing me to think of Melissa Kirsch’s given advice.

“We’re all connected, related, dependent on one another, but of course we forget this all the time,” Melissa Kirsch teaches. “We forget that every action we take has a whole cascade of unintended consequences. And so often we feel separate, lonely, disconnected.” 

She coaches, “One way to challenge that feeling is to start with one small thing. It may seem a little corny at first, but it works.”

It may seem a little corny for me to feel lonely in a mostly filled auditorium as well. Especially when it allowed me to feel emphatically-connected to my lonely friend. And, John Hill was standing in front of everyone, seemingly speaking directly to me.

“Face-to-face, give a piece of yourself.”

At the end, I walked away vowing to give more pieces of myself to my aged friend, as well as to others who may be unintentionally lonely. Because small face-to-face visits create a cascade of beneficial personal connection, leading to other positive consequences, that help end unintentional loneliness.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Finding Winning Habits, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 10.20.2025

“I never know what I’m going to find, once I dig into a problem?” – Mark Sebastion

Finding Winning Habits

Looking at Mark Sebastion sitting on top of the fireplace mantel, with the exposed wall behind him, caused me to recall words once spoken by Riley Jensen on another occasion.

“When I’d come home after having a bad day my mother would say, ‘did you really have a bad day, or did you have a bad five minutes?’ Then, she’d follow that up with, ‘are you going to enjoy the rest of the day, or are you going to continue to milk this and pout?’”

Difficult circumstances, such as having a specialized contractor come into your home saying, “I never know what I’m going to find, once I dig into a problem,” and then watching him actually “dig in” by tearing walls, a stone chimney and a large section of roof off could easily be classified as having a bad day; likely turning into a bad week and perhaps, even a bad month or two! It could even cause a person to say, “I’m feeling very picked on!”

Every one of us face stretching-trials, some harder and some less traumatic, and the way a person habitually thinks, while in the throes of “digging in” will make all the difference.

In speaking and coaching about how to face adversity Nick Sabin said, “When my team would lose I’d say to the team, we needed to lose! Because, we needed to learn from the things we’re not doing to create the habits we needed to have to play winning football on a consistent basis.”

Could everyday happiness be enhanced by developing a mental habit of running toward problems and digging into them so you can discover things you’re not doing? Will this process and practice work as a creative way to develop needed new habits so you can enjoy a “winning” attitude and life? And, is there one simple, additional habit that will allow you to embrace daily positivity and success? 

Hopefully, each one of us will recognize and embrace the counsel of Riley Jensen’s mother. “Did you really have a bad day or did you have a bad five minutes? Are you going to enjoy the rest of your day, or are you going to milk this and pout?”

Yes. The walls, chimney and roof of your home may be in the process of being demolished! And, you can recognize the in-process-resolution of the once hidden issues afflicting you, see that you can embrace new ways of acting and move forward to win in your life on a more consistent basis.

Finding and embracing winning habits is often disguised as unwanted adversity and loss. And, you never know what you’ll find!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

"Looking Back Laugh" Monday's Warm Cocoa 10.13.2025

"You’ll be able to look back on this in a year and laugh.” – Curtis Bledsoe

Looking Back Laugh

“I’ve found that when I’m going through something; you know, when nothing is coming out the way it’s supposed to, I ask myself a question,” Curtis said as he spoke with a frustrated homeowner. 

Curtis had stepped up to assist this distraught customer about five days before this current telephone interaction. During a two-month construction ordeal a previous supplier had sent defective product to this customer time after time. They had sent the same flawed item six times! Finally, the exasperated customer decided to cut their losses and seek help from Curtis and his distribution company. He was about to receive more than a needed plumbing part.

“That’s when I ask, what am I supposed to be learning from this?” Curtis continued; offering enlightened guidance to his customer over the phone.

The customer quietly listened as Curtis spoke. His want to lash out had been extinguished as if water poured over active flames in a smoldering fire pit.

“That’s genius advice,” the customer said, before he listened again, hoping for more sagacious words to be offered from Curtis.

“I haven’t had a difficult experience that I couldn’t look back on and laugh at, yet. And, I’ve had to deal with some very hard experiences in my fifty-five years,” Curtis said with a twinkle spreading from his eyes into and through his voice.

His customer instantly began to reflect on his past experiences. He began to chuckle as he recalled many such instances that had, at the time, been seemingly traumatic. In hindsight he had been able to discover inconceivable humor from the occurrence. Curtis’ words were ringing in his ears as truth!

“As soon as I learned to take a step back and learn from the lesson being offered, my whole experience around difficulties changed,” Curtis expressed. “I don’t look forward to going through hard things and times, but I’ve begun to look forward to laughing about them later! Knowing that humor is on its way brightens my day and my future at the same time.”

The customer’s day had been brightened as a result of this timely display of empathy. He could already see that this current, horrible ordeal would soon reveal itself as a looking-back-laugh in the near future. This was made possible because Curtis took a moment to offer relatable compassion along with quality plumbing parts.

Curtis delivered the needed part the next day and as promised, with that, the looking-back-laughing began.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

"Lonely no More," Monday's Warm Cocoa 10.6.2025

"The boys instinctively knew that their friend needed space.” – Bryan Vernetti

Lonely no More

“I was a leader of a Boy Scout Troop not long ago,” Bryan started. “It was a time when the loneliness epidemic was just beginning.”

One of his scouts was also just past the beginning of an ongoing, potentially devastating family crisis. It was an unquestionable life changing period for this teenaged boy. Bryan could have simply left the young man to deal with the challenge alone. But, he decided not to. And, the right opportunity to pull the boy deeper into connection with the troop was possible as a result of an upcoming camping expedition.

“I felt our troop could make a difference for him. So, I went to his house to pick him up for the trip. I didn’t want this dear friend to be alone with his grief, when he could be with us to feel our supporting bond.”

Bryan didn’t tell any of the other boys anything about what was happening in their friend’s life. He simply extended the refuge of the troop around the one person who needed support in a very personal way.

“Once we were all set up and had the camp in order I started looking around. You know, taking an inventory of the boys. I noticed, the one scout I had especially reached out to, was nowhere to be found! So, I decided to go about quietly, to see if I could find him. I didn’t want to make a stir or a sensation,” Bryan explained.

Bryan went weaving through the trees for very short time when he spotted the boy off and out a little way ahead. He was there, up and off the trail, alone with his grief. The young man had finally, fully surrendered to his natural grief and had sought solitude to release his pent-up emotions. And, that wasn’t all Bryan saw.

While scanning the surrounding forest he also observed the other boys sheltered amongst the trees. They were all standing there, clumped together as if they were of one, unique and exceptional variety of blending-in-vegetation, bearing witness to their friend’s personal moment. And, they were unmoving. They instinctively let their friend have his needed moment of solitude.

“I was so proud of them and was equally amazed by their sensitivity at an age where most would have thought them to be thoughtless and self-centered. Yet, there they were, doing the right thing at the right moment for the right person,” Bryan said with tears welling in his eyes at the memory.

Then, his eyes were filled with a luster again as he remembered the moment when the mourner had finished expelling his emotions, came back to camp, and found his friends there waiting for him. The troop came to him in an instant, without knowing the source of his grief, and embraced him with greetings of, “We’re glad you’re here. We’ve been wondering where you went.”

As Bryan watched his scouts acting as true friends, as well as adhering to their apothegm of loyalty, he rejoiced within himself saying, “Lonely no more!”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

Dream Come True, Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.29.2025

"Did I tell you about my dream?” – Gail Downey

Dream Come True

“Did I tell you about my dream?” Gail asked from the other side of the car.

Robert, her husband, was sitting behind us and Gail’s question didn’t cause a flicker of surprise. He simply sat and listened to the conversation happening ahead of him, as if it were as common as green on grass. He didn’t even seem eager to hear my reaction.

“No. You didn’t tell me about your dream,” I answered.

“I get them once in a while,” Gail responded. “They’re important. They give me guidance as I make my way forward in life.

She went on to describe the details of her dream. She told me what she saw, the timing of things to come and how she could best walk forward.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this was not a dream containing her entire future nor the perfect, all-encompassing path of her life. Gail’s dream was targeted, as are her other, similar dreams, to one specific question. The question of where and when she and Robert should move. I watched a calm relief flow, based on the law of gravity, from her face to her toes as she continued.

“In this case,” Gail said, “the most important factor in our move is the timing. There are some things in need to finish before we leave. I know what I need to complete before we move here. I don’t understand the reason I’m to finish the project I’m now working to complete where I live now, but that doesn’t matter. I simply know I need to finish it while in Texas.”

We’ve all heard the phrase, “timing is everything.” Today’s living pace seems to be frenetic for most. We see and hear messages exhorting us to move forward quickly. Don’t miss out. There is even a label for this FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). So, it was out of the norm to speak with someone who had obtained a different perspective of timing. Gail’s dream-message was directing her to do things in a specific order and to only move forward when it was the right time for her to take the next step.

When you and I do things with the right personal timing it allows stress to wash away naturally, like the tide pulling waves away from the beach. I’ve tried to fight the tide at times in my past. The result was regrettable!

Gail and Robert will have no regrets as they enter into the coming stage of their life. Because Gail is listening to her inner voice and understands how, when and where they need to make their next move. As a result, their move will be a dream come true!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AsoipiePjMdj7ds-f80BAGFyGWst-em/view?usp=sharing

"Buiding Men," Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.22.2025

“I remember thinking, someone should help that boy!” – Laine Wagenseller

Building Men

“I had been going to Uganda to volunteer at an orphanage school,” Laine explains. “But, I really didn’t know what I wanted to accomplish there, until I arrived back home in Los Angeles.”

Laine Wagenseller vividly remembers the moment he found his answer.

“A local pastor said, the most important thing we can do to help our young men isn’t to give them housing or clothing. It isn’t even to feed them. The most important thing we can do is build them into men! That resonated with me and I knew I had found my purpose as a volunteer in that small Ugandan school,” Laine shared.

So, when back in the school the first thing he did was gather the boys to make a request, “tell me your story. I wanted them to share their story, because it’s the best way to build kinship. That’s the great difference-maker when you’re building boys into men.”

Of course, the boys were teenagers, so they just sat there quietly. Laine waited. Then, a moment later one of the boys began to story tell.

“My father died when I was four,” he said. “My mother died when I was six. Then my caregiver died. I was living on the street until I was invited into the orphanage.

The boy held his hand over his face as he talked, because tears were streaming down his face. He had no idea his story was almost identical to every student there. The boys bonded in kinship as a result.

Laine’s belief in the power of storytelling and its ability to forge kinship had been proven. And, It continues to work. So-much-so that alumni come back to the school annually to review their progress, renew their bond and add value to current students.

Before he found the kinship key for turning students into great men, Laine was walking down a street in Uganda when he saw a boy walking on all fours. “Someone should help that boy,” Laine thought. Later, after Adolph was accepted into the school, he was asked to tell his story.

“My mother and father died,” he said. “I was living with my aunt when she threw boiling water on my legs. Burning them to the point where they couldn’t heal right. They healed at a ninety-degree angle. So, I’ve been walking on all fours ever since.” Because of Adolph’s story, Laine felt an extraordinary kinship with the boy and when he returned home to LA, a friend introduced him to a burn specialist, a gifted surgeon at the world renown Roseman Burn Clinic.

Later, The Children’s Burn Foundation flew the scarred youth to LA where he would receive several surgeries at Roseman over six-months. When he first arrived in Los Angeles, a news reporter asked Adolph, “what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you can walk again?”

Adolph quickly, saying, “I’m going to thank God!”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

Squeak! Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.15.2025

“There was a squeaking sound!” – Amy Ladd

Squeak!

“As we were driving along we heard a squeaking sound,” Amy said, before filling their flowery adventure story with nectar.

Amy and Jeff Ladd were on a road trip. It was their much-anticipated summer vacation. The plan for the first day was to meander along until they reached the half way point, toward their chosen destination. They had feelings of peace and comfort. Worries of daily life were set aside. Vacation mode eased their way. Until they heard that squeaking!

It was an unrecognizable sound coming from an undefinable place. So, they each listened carefully, touching this part of the car and that in an attempt to quell the sound. It was all to no avail! The puzzle stumped them and after a while they decided to take a break from driving and the squeaking.

The stop they made allowed them to get some food, as well as inspect the exterior of their car. They couldn’t see anything unusual, so they got back in the car and resumed their drive. That movement caused the squeaking to start again and the cadence of the squeaking changed.

“The pace of the squeaking was different,” Amy explained. “We had the feeling that something was urgently wrong, so we stopped the car and listened. When we found nothing on the inside, we followed our ears to the outside. Our ears lead us right! We found a baby hummingbird huddled in the wiper slot!”

One of them cradled the weakened creature in their hand, while the other called a veterinarian friend seeking help.

“He told us it would not survive! We should let it go,” Jeff sadly said. “But, we were determined for it to live. So, we stopped and got a dropper, sugar water and frozen blood worms so we could feed it. And, it perked up!”

Then, they used their phones to identify a hummingbird rescuer, who was thrilled to help save the small bird’s life. She and a friend left immediately to drive almost two hours and met us at a designated place.

The experts brought a rescue habitat and food so the bird could eat, every fifteen minutes, as it needed. Once the Humming Bird Rescuer reached her home, she placed the nourished bird into its new habitat, saying it would be old enough to migrate to Mexico in a few months and that it would likely return to her home the next year.

“We know we can’t same everything,” Amy said toward the end of her vacation adventure story. “But, we just knew we could save this elegant creature, no matter what the veterinarian said,” Jeff continued.

Then Jeff said, “No. We can’t save every humming bird, but we helped save that one!”

Saving the one and defying the odds has given Jeff and Amy an internal peace and knowledge that whenever they hear squeaking in the future, they’ll be hearing hope and opportunity for success, no matter what some experts may say.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

Friendship Delivered, Monday's Warm Cocoa, 9.8.2025

“My friend came to my house and brought me a whole week of food.” – Laura Rogers

Friendship Delivered

“My friend came to my house and brought me a whole week of food,” Laura Rogers said as we talked about how her husband “Roge” was progressing. He was in and had been a local hospital for more than a week and his progress was up and down.

“There hasn’t been a change in Roge’s condition over the past couple of days,” Laura continued.

Yet, she was about to tell me about many exceptions to that statement as she continued. There was a moment, she described as hopeful, when her husband of more than three decades had opened his eyes, focused on her face and clearly said, “home.” And, listening to heartwarming story after story from Laura’s lips, I can understand why he is anxious to return home. The Rogers have witnessed an outpouring of love and concern as a result of the crisis they’re currently facing.

It is as if Roge and Laura have received goodness from everyone in their neighborhood and beyond. I say beyond because I have received emails from friends-in-common expressing their support and offering assistance from a distance. And, distance defies the most common definition of neighborhood as well. I am now convinced that a neighborhood can be defined beyond the confines of a specific grouping of houses in a particular subdivision because the Rogers inhabit a neighborhood of friends independent of subdivision and city.

At the same time, their neighborhood defines the principle of loving your neighbor. I am quite sure that Laura has been a dinner guest every night her husband has been in the hospital. Some friends have delivered food to the Rogers’ home and some friends have stood on watch in Roge’s hospital room while another has taken Laura to a restaurant for a restorative meal. Even strangers have participated in restoration in another way.

This travail began in the parking lot of a mobile phone company when Roge suffered a brain aneurysm. With all of the chaos around getting an ambulance to transport him to the closest hospital no one present noticed that Roge’s wallet had slipped from his pocket. Luckily, someone happened upon it sitting on the asphalt not long after the ambulance left.

The wallet’s benefactor worked for a week to get it back into its familiar pocket, but had difficulty because she didn’t speak any English. Finally, after trying to figure out how to contact the wallet’s owner, she took the wallet to a local community bank, because she recognized the logo printed on one of the credit cards displayed on a building nearby. That bank branch employed a bilingual employee who listened to the story, looked up phone numbers for the Rogers and made calls to make a connection for the wallet’s return.

“What a miracle to have the wallet returned without one item missing,” Laura said with tears streaming down her face.

It is another example of how friendship has been delivered to Roge and Laura Rogers during their time of need. It’s shows how being a good neighbor transcends geography, language and personal familiarity.

Friendship can be delivered in many ways, even by those we don’t already know. It always provides welcome, beautiful change under difficult circumstances.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

Saving a Hero Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.1.2025

“I knew internally that I was sick and something was coming, had been coming for quite a while.” – Benjamin Walters

Saving a Hero

“Good morning, this is Benjamin Walters. I’m reaching out because I’m exhausting all potential resources,” the message on my screen stated. “I was diagnosed with brain cancer, having had the tumor removed on 25 July 2025.”

The past year started to make sense to me now. I was now beginning to understand why Benjamin had made such dramatic changes in his life. It had been a thought-provoking mystery over the ten proceeding months. I read on.

“I sold my home and land,” Benjamin continued, “feeling that it was the best time to do so this past November, due to knowing internally that I was sick and something was coming, had been coming for quite a while.”

I thought of Benjamin and his two dogs in their mountain home. The dogs had room to run and they swam in the pond toward the bottom of their property. All three of them, Benjamin and his two dogs, would cross the wide, grass filled meadow and then savor the shade of the forest on the back side of their land. They loved the wildlife resident there. They loved being part of bustling life there.

In fact, Benjamin had installed trail cameras in the forest so he could watch the deer and other wildlife from the comfort of his home. He’d sit in front of his Amish warming stove, during the cold of winter, so he could be protected from the harsh elements and still enjoy the local biota remotely. But that was all behind them now.

“I need a place to go in order to get the treatment necessary and I’m fully covered through the VA, I’m financially stable, but again looking for somewhere to go that will provide good treatment and that I enjoy being the area I’ll be living in,” Benjamin’s note to me continued. 

“It may be a stretch but can you help me? I am not asking for anything for free, I have the ability to pay as needed. Thank you for your consideration,” Benjamin concluded.

“Can you help me? Of course, I can and will help you Benjamin,” I said aloud, right before I repositioned my phone to begin making calls to people I know across the United States. Even though Benjamin is not receiving his treatments near me, or the people I know, we’re able to assist him. We’ve already found him shelter in a comfortable apartment, to live in with his dogs, near the VA Hospital providing him treatment.

The amazing life that Benjamin and his mates, who have served and are now serving, have freely given to you and me is an immeasurable gift. Now, It is an honor to freely give to Benjamin in a small way.

Yet, being part of an effort to save a hero is never a small thing!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

"A Grandfather's Impact," Monday's Warm Cocoa, 8.25.2025

“He was my hero, my best friend, and the keeper of all the best secrets.” – Andrew Bart

A Grandfather’s Impact

I called my friend Andrew Bart. I knew he could answer my questions. We both spend our mornings in the gym, lifting weights. We use different gyms because we live in different states. 

As we were talking, an image of the classic cartoon He-Man came to my mind. So, the next day I sent him a link of a classic He-Man episode through YouTube and designated him as, “He-Man Poppy,” because he’s a physically strong and is just as strong as a father. What I didn’t know is that he has a strong emotional connection to that very character as a result of his maternal grandfather.

Andrew’s childhood memories are not a blurry collection of events, but a series of distinct, brightly-lit vignettes. And, one of his most vivid memories are centered around He-Man, thanks to his grandfather, his beloved Poppy Arnold. He was Andrew’s hero, his best friend, and the keeper of all his best secrets. One of those secrets was their trips to an independent toy store called Big Mo’s, owned by Poppy Arnold’s friend.

Big Mo, was a close friend of Poppy’s. Their friendship was a bond built on shared stories, classic cars, and, unbeknownst to Andrew, a mutual affection for bringing joy to one little boy in particular. The store itself was a wonderland of toys that Andrew had only seen in television commercials. But the true magic wasn’t on the shelves. It was hidden away.

One day, Poppy lead Andrew behind the counter as Big Mo smiled at Andres and pointed to a large cardboard box, its flaps taped shut and a bold, black marker scrawled across its side: "ANDY." Andrew’s small heart pounded with excitement as he asked, “is this box for me?”

Big Mo cut the tape with as large smile creased across his face as an answer. And as he pulled back the cardboard, a vibrant, plastic world was revealed. Inside, nestled among a sea of packing peanuts, were the action figures Andrew had been dreaming of: He-Man, Master of the Universe, standing tall and muscular, ready for battle. Beside him were his arch-nemesis, the ghoulish Skeletor, the fanged Beastman, and a host of other legendary characters. Andrew has never forgotten that moment. It wasn't just a box of toys; it was a connection!

“From that day on, my world was made up of epic adventures. He-Man, Transformers, and GI Joes dominated my imagination. But these weren't just any toys. They were Poppy’s toys,” Andrew says. “He-Man was always my favorite, and I only had the figures and all other items at my Poppy’s house. Every Friday night was a ritual. After my grandparents' spaghetti dinner, we would retreat to the basement. There, on the carpet, the floor became the mythical land of Eternia. The coffee table was Castle Grayskull, and the sofa cushions were treacherous mountains. Poppy would sit with me, his warm presence grounding the wild battles we waged. He would make sound effects for Skeletor's evil laugh and cheer as He-Man raised his sword and yelled, ‘By the power of Grayskull!’”

Those hours were more than just playtime. They were the foundation of Andrew’s relationship with his grandfather. They shared a language of make-believe and adventure, and an understanding between a boy and his grandfather. The toys were simply a vehicle for impactful connection.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

"Collision" 8.18.2025 Monday's Warm Cocoa

“Collision is the intentional, rapid, and often unplanned convergence of diverse people and ideas.” – Jeff Amerine

Collision

My friend Jeff Amerine is extraordinary. He’s an expert in venture capital and entrepreneurship and is particularly distinguished for his work in building business startup ecosystems in non-traditional locations. Locations commonly referred to as, the “fly-over” states. Those not on the east or west coasts of the United States. 

He is the co-founder and Managing Director of Startup Junkie Consulting, a firm dedicated to accelerating small and scalable businesses in America’s Heartland. He’s also veteran of the United States Army.  You know, one of those guys who have created, protected and maintained the life you and I enjoy. These two life experiences have given him a unique view of business and life.

One of the concepts he developed and uses in his life and business is a principle he calls “Collision.” Not the kind of collision one thinks of occurring as a result of a car crash. Yet, it is of comparatively, high impact. Collision, as he defines it, is the intentional, rapid, and often unplanned convergence of diverse people and ideas. In the context of a startup business, this means creating an environment where founders, mentors, investors, and potential customers interact frequently to test assumptions and get real-world feedback. It is a process of constant "bumping into" new perspectives and challenges, forcing a startup business to either pivot and grow or fail quickly, saving valuable time and resources.

This same principle can be powerful for you and me to accelerate personal growth. It is a transformative method of moving from passive living to active experimentation. In other words, instead of spending months or years in a state of indecision or uncertainty, you can use the power of collision to accelerate your own learning and development.

A key application of collision is in embracing what could be called unstructured networking. Traditional networking can feel like work, a series of pre-planned, formal meetings that you really don’t want to attend. Collision, however, encourages a more natural approach. For example, you could attend a conference of interest, join a local meetup group related to a hobby, or volunteer for a cause that interests you. The goal isn't just to add names to your contact list, but to expose yourself to unexpected ideas and conversations, leading you toward chance encounters, often providing extraordinary insights, while steering you toward a new direction you hadn't considered.

Additionally, collision can redefine your concept of failure. In the startup world, a product that fails to gain traction isn’t necessarily seen as a complete disaster. It's viewed as a data point. Similarly, when you apply collision to your personal life, you can consider setbacks as valuable feedback, a learning opportunity. This shift in thinking allows you to move on quickly, analyze what went wrong, and adjust your approach for the next attempt.

Finally, the collision principle pushes you to accelerate your learning curve by prioritizing action over deliberation. If you're contemplating a major life change, such as a career transition or a move to a new city, instead of spending months in a state of anxious analysis, create small, low-risk collisions. This could mean taking a long weekend in a place you’ve often thought of living, to meet locals and explore different neighborhoods. Attend a workshop of interest. Try a new hobby. Such hands-on "collisions" provide a much more authentic and immediate sense of whether a path is right for you, allowing you to move forward with clarity and purpose.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

More Than Enough-Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.11.2025

"My 16-year-old son dropped some wisdom on us.” – Brad Alexander

More Than Enough

“Last week my sixteen-year-old son dropped some wisdom on us while we were out at dinner,” Brad Alexander said.

His son has dyslexia. So, reading is torture for him. It always has been. As a result, Brad and his wife have always been worried about him doing well in society and with school work. But, the other day he received the score for his first-ever AP class final test, and he made a four out of five! That’s college credit level stuff! In high school.

“Several of his friends scored lower than him,” Brad before continuing. “Here’s what he said about the test that made me a pretty proud dad.”

“I think being dyslexic actually helped me. I had to focus way more in class than my friends, and I think it helped me learn better.”

Did you catch those three personal deductions?

Brad’s son has discovered something most people have yet to.

The things that make life harder for you might actually be your secret weapon! Another way to say this is, your most difficult challenges are likely to lead you to your greatest successes and growth, if you allow them to.

Brad’s son struggles with reading. And he's a terrible at spelling.

Brad said, “I used to worry about him constantly.”

Three questions constantly haunted Brad and his wife as their son grew physically, mentally and intellectually through his childhood years. 

Would he keep up in school? 

Would others be mean to him?

Would he be okay?

Brad says, “Turns out I was worrying about the wrong things!”

And, he was kind enough to tell me what he has learned from his son through his years as his father.

First, we are all dealt cards we don’t want or don’t expect.

Second, how you play those cards matters way more than what cards you’re dealt.

Brad’s supposedly handicapped son is the embodiment of a powerful principle of great importance. Our biggest struggles might actually be our greatest advantage. They will always shift our minds to seek different answers and alternate paths forward. Paths and answers that we would never have considered otherwise.

You and I just have to learn how to turn everything to our good. It is a learned skill!

Pretty smart for a sixteen-year-old who would have a hard time reading this story!

As parents, we worry our children and grandchildren won’t be enough. But, maybe they’re already more than enough.

We all worry that, we won’t be enough. 

Maybe we all are.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing

Lynn Butterfield's Monday's Warm Cocoa, "Stuck in Neutral"

“I believe my plans have become stale.” – Ed Stokes

Stuck in Neutral

“I believe my plans have become stale,” Ed’s message said. “I’m not sure if there is any strategy to help overcome this.”

Ed’s lament sounded familiar. After all, who hasn’t had an experience of feeling as if they’re stuck in neutral? But, Ed had decided, enough is enough.

For the past two years, Ed has been talking about moving to a mid-sized city in the South, a place holding his attention due to its vibrant community, lower cost of living and temperate climate. Yet, the real draw to that particular location is his family, already living there.

Ed's voice, usually a calm and steady baritone, was frayed with anxiety as we talked on the telephone moments later. “I can’t seem to make any progress!”

As Ed talked It became clear that there was something deeper not being acknowledged.  

"I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me," I started with trepidation. 

"Sure, what is it?" he responded, with a note of acceptance in his voice.

"Why are you deciding not to move forward?" 

There was a thoughtful silence on the other side of the phone call as Ed began to let the question resonate.

“Why have you been deciding not to move forward with your plan? You’ve been holding off for two years and based on your anxiety level it’s clear that you’re paying a high cost by living with such uncertainty. Don’t you think it is time to put an end to this? Tell me the reasons you decided to go forward a couple of years ago."

Ed took the next few minutes to rehearse the factors that caused him to create a new plan for his future.

“Have any of those compelling reasons changed?”

Ed responded firmly. “No!”

“Then it’s time for you to just get it done and finished!”

The feeling on the call changed instantly as soon as Ed’s intent had been refreshed. He began planning again on the spot. Most importantly, he began to act. The barriers he had identified earlier melted away instantly because he changed his thinking. He had shifted the gears in his mind from neutral to drive again.

It is impossible to live in “drive” all of the time. Sometimes a temporary shift to neutral is needed. After all, moving forward with purpose requires a solid plan based on intent. Ed just got stuck in neutral this time.

Ed discovered his sought-after strategy, to shift out of neutral, by simply reclaiming his “why.” 

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV in Northwest Arkansas. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as a real estate agent and Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TjKNEZ1QUTxoBXRqghc9Oiwz4-adE6ke/view?usp=sharing