Being a Pooh-Pooh Head

“You’re a pooh-pooh head!”

-Tanner Droubay

Being a Pooh-Pooh Head

There was a sea of blue and black stretching out almost as far as my eye could see.  Such colors generally mean that a calm sea is turning into a treacherous, life threatening monster. It was not the case today.

Today, it meant just the opposite.  It was a sign of hope and a promising future.  I was looking down at the floor of a high school graduating class with the boys frocked in black and the girls dressed in blue.  It was not a day to feel blue or black.  It was a day of celebration and accomplishment.

I don’t often take the time to measure accomplishment over a period of almost eighteen years.  It can be a hard task to accurately remember how things were so long ago.  It’s too easy to forget the old reality in the sea of constant change around us.

This wasn’t the case today because there was such a vivid opening in colorful array.  One of the graduates was my friend Tanner Droubay.  I’ve known Tanner for most of his life and have watched him literally grow into a fine man.  He was sitting below with other young men down on the floor of the arena.

At an appropriate time the row Tanner was sitting on arose to promenade in a line to receive their diplomas.  I listened intently, heard Tanner’s name read and watched him receive his graduation certificate.  He was smiling broadly and it made me smile while floating away.

When I arrived at my destination it was a different scene.  I saw a small boy playing with my daughters.  I could also see myself, a younger, thinner with a fuller head of hair version; join in their play through teasing.  Warmth of memory began in my toes and grew until it washed my entire body.  It broadened my smile when I heard Tanner object to my teasing with, “You’re a pooh-pooh head!”

When I left the arena to shake Tanner’s hand and congratulate him I was still a pooh-pooh head, but he was a handsome, well mannered, educated man!  I couldn’t have asked for him to become anything more!  He has exceeded my expectations in every area of his life and his accomplishments have given me hope!

Tanner has demonstrated that if a person is willing to seek growth, their life will change dramatically over time.  They will become a person of honor, education, refinement, charm and of stout heart.  I know Tanner is continuing down this same path in his immediate future.  It’s a path I plan to follow him on. 

The path doesn’t care how old you are.  It simply matters that you choose to be on the path every day so it can transform you.  Perhaps there’s still hope for all of us!

 

Making Your Mirror Talk

“Look at your limitations and decide how you’re going to blow them away!”

-Don Whitehead

Making Your Mirror Talk

Eight of us were sitting around a long, rectangular conference room table with one single purpose.  We were there to help a friend work on a funding presentation.  He started his business in 2008, with some other talented people, and they were finding amazing success.  They were on track to produce more than one and a half million dollars in sales this year.  With a little more investment capital and the right partners they could really kick things in gear and grow their company into something really special.

All the people who were sitting around the table were also special.  They were donating their time, talent and experience to make a difference.

 If nothing else happened, they were making a difference to me.  I sat listening to their individual observations and advice with amazed captivation.  But, one comment really hit me between the eyes.

“Look at your limitations and decide how you’re going to blow them away!” Don said as we were outlining the challenges we could all see as we talked.

His words had an almost hypnotic effect on me and my mind started to drift away to another time and place.  I could see an old worn journal in front of me.  It was contained in a glass museum case.  I remembered it as clearly as if I was standing in there once again.

I had stopped in to look at a special showing of George Washington’s memorabilia in a small museum in Manhattan.  They were having an extraordinary exhibit related to President Washington.  And, out of all that was there to amaze, the one thing that caught my eye and notice was this small, hand written book; his book of “Rules of Civility.”

Whenever Mr. Washington would learn an important trait of character he would make a note of it in his book and would then work systematically to incorporate it into his own behavior and disposition.  He did so systematically and thoughtfully.  George Washington’s life is a demonstratively vivid example of the kind of great success that can be accomplished by careful adherence to Don’s wonderful advice.

So, when I got home I went to my personal library and pulled a well worn book from my bookcase.  I thumbed through the pages and reviewed President Washington’s Rules of Civility once again.  I had become lax in reviewing my own life and made a commitment to once again look at my own limitations and then decide how I am going to blow them away.

Who do you think you could become if you were to follow Mr. Washington’s example and Don’s advice?

New Windows of Opportunity

“I don’t like to be defeated by anything!”

-Reed Orcutt

New Windows of Opportunity

There was a safety railing to be installed and a broken window to replace.  It all had to be completed on Monday morning so the repairs could be verified.  It was late Thursday afternoon and I was “dialing” like crazy to see if I could get someone or more than ones to commit to do the work.

Call after call dished out another defeat to me.  The deadline was so tight that I couldn’t get anyone to say they would do the work in less than a week.  I was getting desperate because I knew the deadline had no flexibility.  It was about as flexible as my own rigid body when compared to a yoga master.

I had to sleep on it for the night to see if my mind would produce the answer since it is by far the most flexible part of my being.  It paid off.

At about one a.m. my eyes popped open and I audibly said, “I can’t believe I didn’t think of him!”  I was much calmer and knew deep inside that this was the solution to my problem.  I don’t know how I knew.  I just knew!  Still, the rest of the night didn’t yield much sleep because I watched the clock’s red LED numbers flash past the minutes until 7:30 am; a time I knew would be alright for me to call my friend.

When the time arrived I touched the number I needed to call and got voice mail.  It was a little like deepened madness when I got voice mail, but I still felt positive.  I left a message. I waited, or more like hovered over my phone. 

Within three minutes of making the call, my phone alerted me that a call was coming in.  It was my friend!  Just as I had hoped, he was willing to help me and we scheduled a time to get together so we could review the work.  My angst turned into tranquility.

At ten-thirty a.m. we met where the work was to be completed.  We reviewed it.  Reed made a phone call.  He hit the end call button on his phone and looked at me with a smile.  “I’ll have everything finished by early tomorrow afternoon!” He said.

We continued on and looked at another window that had a broken mechanism.  I thought we could also have the window technician look at it when he came to do his work the next day.  It was not to be so.

Reed looked at the nonfunctioning piece as I showed it to him and he began to work on it.  I worried because I knew his time was limited.  He had big commitments to finish.  I said, “I know you have to go, this can wait.”

He just looked up at me and replied, “I don’t like to be defeated by anything!  I can figure this out.  I just don’t do this often enough to remember how to do it.”

He spent an hour with me and in the end he was not defeated!  He fixed the window as well as my challenges.  He also reminded me that with persistence, thought and experience new windows of opportunity can always be opened.

Staring Down the Grim Reaper

“I saw the brightest light I could ever imagine and I had only one thought!”

-Jean Hjelseth

Staring Down the Grim Reaper

Jean walked into her daughter’s apartment.  She was there to visit two of the most important people in her life; her daughter and granddaughter.

“I walked in to the apartment and not long after I arrived I saw the brightest light I could ever imagine and I had only one thought!  I could not die!  I could not leave my husband, daughter and granddaughter!”

Jean had an aneurism in her brain that burst as she was standing right in the middle of her daughter’s living room.  As soon as she saw the light that was as bright as a “super nova” she collapsed in a heap onto the floor.  Her daughter called an ambulance and they rushed her to the hospital where her husband Jeff was working.  She was as close to death as a person can be and still hang on the life by the smallest of margins.

In fact, Jean’s doctor spoke with her more than a month after this incident and shook his head in disbelief as he spoke to her.  “You are a one in a million!” He said.  “There is no way you should still be alive.”

But, Jean knew better.  “I love my husband and family so much that there was just no way I was going to leave them” she said to me as we sat at a table together.

“After just six months into recovery my doctor became frustrated with me because I would not take it easy.  All I wanted to do was to get healthy again so I could be fully engaged with my family.  I would stay up all night reading everything I could on the internet so I could stimulate my brain.  It made Jeff nuts!  He would say to me, ‘What are you doing?  You need to sleep!’”

Jeff was sitting with us as part of our tête-à-tête.  I shot a quick glance at him to see his reaction as she told her story.  His face was beaming with a sort of sheepish, shy smile.  He’s a very quiet, shy person.  Still, there was no way he could hide his love for Jean.  His heart was bursting with gratitude and love as we talked.

I had some thoughts bursting within my own mind during the hour and a half we conversed.   I was trying to think of how many people I knew who have the same kind of determination Jean has.  Would I have the strength and courage to look face to face, eye to eye with the grim reaper and stare him down to defeat because of my love for other people?  Then an answer distilled my questions. 

Here I sat looking at two people in love.  I’d been working with them for a couple of months and I could tell by their everyday actions that they were devoted to each other in a special way.  I knew of their love and commitment well before I knew of the amazing story they had just shared with me.

The reality is that we all show what we’re committed to through our actions on a daily basis.  It takes real courage and dedication to make decisions that demonstrate our best intentions every day.  Sometimes it’s harder to overcome fatigue and repetition over and over again than to dream of conquering an invincible foe in dramatic fashion.  But, living a life based on a foundation of principle, love and truth will always deliver a satisfying and lasting victory while others who only chase fortune through glorious victory more often find themselves alone and wanting.

We can all choose love and life each day by demonstrating our choice through committed action no matter how weak we feel at any given moment.  When we do so, peace will engulf our hearts and assurance will enliven our future.

Groceries in the Car

“We have our groceries in the car, but we can help you for a few minutes.”

-Kilee Johnson

Groceries in the Car

The sun was shining outside and its yellow hue was making it look as if the day was made of gold.  And, a cool breeze was brushing past my face and caressing my entire body.  It was a day freshly minted.  The kind of day when everyone who is able to go outside feels rich and able bodied.  So, I went out to work in my yard.

When I next looked up and had everything put away it was early in the evening.  I went into the house and looked at my whiskers appear to be growing from the fertile soil covering my entire head.  It was time to wash the day away and spend some time with my family.

We had a nice dinner and then returned home.  I was tired and felt sleepy.  My muscles were begging for the relief, a respite from physical labor and I yielded; but not for long.

In about a half hour the dogs were announcing the arrival of guests.  They were excited to see familiar faces and they demonstrated their pleasure by flying their tails at full speed.

“Hi Papi.  We have our groceries in the car, but we can help you for a few minutes.”

We had been working to get some beds moved to different rooms and another one put together.  It was heavy work and I needed help to get it done.  I was grateful to receive the offered assistance.  Otherwise the task would never be completed.

“You don’t need to help me tonight!” I said.  “You have groceries to put away.”

“Yes.  But we can put them away later and the only thing we’ll be doing is just putting them away.  If we help you, the beds will be put away and we’ll be spending more time with you.”

Because we worked together, everything was completed quickly and with pleasure.  It reminded me that a community or a family has a power which a single individual does not.  We are held together as a result of freely contributing mutual support and protecting the core values that bind us. I live in the same zip code that Kilee lives in, but that is not what gives us glue.

Rabbi Daniel Lapin said, “The only thing I know that will glue a community or family together is for everyone to first, concentrate on doing something for other people, and only thereafter to worry about what they can do for you.  . . . The world is set up to reward us to the extent that we focus on finding ways to do things for other people.  If we focus on what others can do for us, we fail.”

What can you I do that will really make other people happy today?

 

Are There Heroes?

“I wish we could have a hero, but we don’t seem to be able to have any anymore.”

-Matt Speers

Are There Heroes?

Matt Speers is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps.  He commands more than one hundred men.  I say command, but that’s wrong in a way.  I should say he leads them.

 “Their parents lend them to me and it’s my job to make sure they become men of honor.  It’s amazing to see some of the decisions a boy of 18 will make.  I don’t know why I’m surprised.  I made the some of the same silly choices when I was that age.  It’s my responsibility to demonstrate the right path so I can send them back to their families as great men when they leave the service.”

When I was listening to Captain Speers speak to me I found it difficult at times to pay attention to my driving.  He was sitting in the seat next to me and there were times when all I wanted to do was stare at him.  Can such men still be walking amongst us?

He has served at two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan.  He’s also getting himself and his men ready to be deployed again for another tour.  I know how hard he’s working to be prepared.  He spends weeks in the deserts of California without communication to the world you and I live in.  He’s totally immersed in training and caring about the men he lives his life with.  I felt honored that he was spending time with me searching for a home in the mountains of Utah.

On one misty, cool spring day we walked along a street between homes and I asked him what he thought about one particular history-making-general.

“I wish we could have a hero, but we don’t seem to be able to have any anymore.” He said.

I can understand why he said what he said. 

I looked over through the mist and to my right to look at him as he spoke to me; the cool breeze brushing lightly across my face.  And, what I saw was a real hero.  He isn’t some myth created by a popular culture.  He isn’t a self absorbed, self promoting person working to build himself up in the eyes of everyone in the world!  He’s a man of principle.

A hero is someone who has recognized true principles and is willing to live in conformity.  They’re a person who goes out and does the right thing every day even though nobody else will ever know what’s being done.  It’s someone who gives their life to the benefit of others to nurture them and guide them to the best of their ability; someone who’s willing to live out in the middle of nowhere in order to be in a position to teach lessons that can’t be learned in the “center of it all.”  Perhaps most of all, it’s someone who will just go out and do the right thing when it’s hard, uncomfortable or unpopular.

I continued walking on a sidewalk in a popular Mountain Resort Town in Utah on a cool, misty day.  When I looked to my right again, I was finding it harder and harder to see the hero at my side.  The weather wasn’t worsening.  The increasing mist was in my eyes as a result of the opportunity to be walking with a truly great man.

Instant Change

“The water heater needs to be replaced so we’ll replace it with the best water heater available.”

-      Ben Michel

Instant Change

I had been in the midst of hard negotiations on a transaction for several days and this particular morning found me beginning to tire from the rigid, unrealistic position of the other party and their agent.  It was a Monday morning and the first call of the day was another volley and another impasse.  I can remember thinking to myself, “Oh, I just want these difficult people to go away!”

As soon as this thought finished its flow across my mind I was roused by the sudden tinkling of my phone.  “Now what bad news am I going to hear?” was the phrase that blasted across my mind as an instant reaction.  I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

But there was a friendly voice reaching my ears.  When I heard the kindly tones, my body began to relax.  It was a welcome relief.  And, there was more relief coming my way as Ben continued.

“Hey Lynn, I received the inspection report and repair request you sent over yesterday.  I looked it over and then went to the house and the inspector is right.  The water heater needs to be replaced so we’ll replace it with the best water heater available.  I know that’s all you asked for, but I also went through the rest of the inspection report and decided to fix the other items as well.  They’re all small and it we’d like the home to be as nice as possible for your Clients when they move in.”

I could hardly speak, but uttered slowly, at first in surprise, and then gave a hearty, “I’ll let my Client know! Thank you for your generosity!”

My heart was calm and full of gratitude when the call ended.  I felt refreshed and encouraged again.  At the beginning of a very difficult day, one person, someone who has a fair, kind heart, someone who was willing to go above and beyond what was asked changed my whole day and outlook.  I was impressed by the quickness of the change that came inside of me.

I also made a commitment to myself to give more than what is required or asked, because I had been changed by Ben and his goodness in an instant.  You can make the same commitment.  Change the world in an instant through generosity and kindness.  It will change more than just your own life.