Faith in Faith

“We didn’t know anyone here, but when we made the decision to move everything just fell into place.” –Rod McDaniels

Faith in Faith

I’ll never forget the first phone call I received from Rod.  We had never met before so it was a sort of “shot in the dark” that we came to meet.  He had just accepted a new job in Salt Lake City, was preparing to move his family and needed some help in finding the right place.

“I can’t believe it’s been three years.” Rod said to me.

We were talking about his work and family.  We were also talking about the scary news we’ve been braving for the last few years.  There is a lot to worry about.  We are seemingly in a continual war and the front seems to be expanding rather than coming to a close.  Now we’re hearing about the Ebola outbreak that is causing even the bravest among us to shudder at a possible global epidemic.  With such horrific news all around us is it possible to live with faith in a bright future?

“You know, when I lost my job in Las Vegas it appeared as if we were in a situation where there was no way out!” Rod painted his picture for me.  “We didn’t know anyone here, but when we made the decision to move, everything just fell into place.”

Now he and his family live in a beautiful home in the Salt Lake City area and his family is blossoming.  “I work with great people.  They’re real sharp and I’m lucky to associate with them.”  He told me.

“Sometimes its hard to have faith in faith.”  I said.  Then I thought about the earlier part of our conversation!  I began to think about the similarities between Rod’s previous position and our world’s situation.  Right now it appears as if there is no way out of the distress we’re facing.  And, human tendency is lose hope, to just sit and try to keep things as they are.  But, that isn’t what my friend Rod did!

Rod hoped for a better.  He had prepared himself in every aspect of his life for success, so he made the decision to think past his familiar life and apply his skills toward a new and potentially brighter future.  In doing so he knew that he was moving away from family and friends.  It was a little scary.

But, he found that his fear was soon overcome as he took his first steps toward a new life.  He found a new job, friends, home and opportunities as he walked forward while relying on his internal compass.  Then he combined these additions to his life with his friends and family still living in Las Vegas.

He looked at me and smiled, “We just got back from my wife’s, sister’s wedding.  It was great to be back with our family and spend time with them.  And, we have a great life here.  We love it.”

There is a lot to love about life, even when we face what appear to be insurmountable challenges.  It is during such times that we need to do what Rod does.  He has faith in faith.

Teeming With Life

“The last time I started a company I tried to do everything myself.  Doing so taught me that I could be much more successful by bringing in the right people to work with me.  This time I’m building a great team from the start!”

-Brad LaPray

Teeming With Life

Brad LaPray is a successful builder of businesses.  I happened to have the good fortune of meeting him not long ago and have been able to spend a little bit of time getting to know him.  He was looking for some specific help so I scheduled a lunch meeting to introduce him to another friend with the “how to” skills he was seeking.

During lunch, Brad talked with us about one of his prior successful companies and said, “The last time I started a company I tried to do everything myself.  Doing so taught me that I could be much more successful by bringing in the right people to work with me.  This time I’m building a great team from the start!”

I was intrigued by his insight and immediately recognized that he knows that, no matter how good a business looks on paper, no matter what he’s accomplished in the past, no matter how smart he is, he will never be as successful as he could be unless there are other people there to help him.  I’ve thought about this over and over again, wondering how to apply this remarkable insight to the personal side of life.

A long time ago I had a personal conversation, with the chairman of my graduate school committee, just before graduation.  He was instrumental in getting me into graduate school as well as changing my academic approach to learning.  Because of my deep respect for him I listened intently to his advice.

“Now that you’re graduating you have a choice to make.” He said.  “You need to decide whether you’re going to seek money or power.”  Then he went on to tell me a story.

He had been consulting for a large company and was called to the CEO’s huge estate for a meeting.  “I walked into the home and was struck by its beauty and size, but what hit me most was that it was empty.  There was no family with him there, and even though we had an amazing gourmet lunch, prepared by his personal chef, I could not help but feel his loneliness and isolation.  And, when it was time for me to leave, this great captain begged me to stay for just a little bit longer so he wouldn’t be bound to his solitary life again.”  Then he said something else that has stuck with me for these many years.

“What ever you decide, make sure you build a strong family and friendships along the way.  Those relationships are what will give you true happiness!”

So here’s the personal side of what my friend Brad has taught me.  No matter how good our lives look on paper, no matter what we have accomplished in the past, no matter how smart we are, we will never be as successful or as happy as possible unless we have others, who have made a personal investment, beside us.

Brad has created a compelling business vision that is allowing him to attract others who believe what he believes.  Smart and talented people are drawn to him because they share his vision.  They are adding their special abilities and know-how to create something truly remarkable.

What are you doing to make life teem around you?

A Miracle in the Making

“Hey trouble maker!”

- Annie Butterfield

A Miracle in the Making

We have a new addition to our household!  His name is Merlin.  My daughter Annie has been searching for the right dog to bring home for a long time.  She was thrilled when she finally found him and that’s when I had “the conversation” with her.

The conversation goes something like this:  “You know that this is your dog and you will be responsible to take care of him.” I said.

“I know.” Was her reply.

As you know, saying you know, before you have experience simply means you don’t have the experience to really know!  Really knowing can only come from experience.  And, responsibility-based relationship experience also provides at least two intertwined life-changers.

Annie brought her little puppy home and I wondered how she would feel about him when she had to begin performing her first life-changer, personal service.  That is, she has to clean up his messes, take him out in the middle of the night, feed and groom him, etc.   In this instance, I was thrilled as I was talking with her today and heard her say, “Isn’t he is the cutest thing ever?”  And, that leads me the second life changer.

In less than two weeks Annie also said, “You’ll never break my heart will you Merlin?” Responsibility-based relationship experience causes us to experience the deepest kind of love a person can possess.  You and I have seen many examples of this, but one of the most touching example from my own life is that of Evan Hansen and his wife.

Evan was a senior chemist at a large company on the East Coast with a thriving career when his wife was diagnosed with a horrible, debilitating disease.  When they received the news, he made the decision to quit his job and move to Richfield, UT so their cost of living would be reduced to the point where he could spend the bulk of his time caring for her.  When they arrived he was able to secure a job that would enable them to live humbly and care for her at the same time.  This job turned into the avenue that would allow us to be introduced.

On multiple business-related lunch or dinner occasions I had the great fortune to sit at the same table as Evan and his wife, where I observed the exact same ritual between them.  Their food would arrive at the table and Evan would push his food aside and scoot his chair up close to his sweetheart’s wheel chair so he could feed her.  You see, she no longer had the use of her arms and hands and she could no longer speak.  So, he would gently use her utensils to painstakingly feed her one spoonful or forkful at a time until she was full.  He would never eat his own food until she was finished.  It is the greatest demonstration of devoted love I have ever witnessed!

Now I am witnessing the same type of miracle all over again as I watch Annie take care of her little puppy.  Her love for him grows deeper with each act of service she provides for him.  It is a miracle in the making.

Every one of us can experience the joy that comes from responsibility-based love.  Would you like to be a miracle in the making?

Influential Things

“We were just talking about the influential things in our lives.”

- Jessi Butterfield

Influential Things

I had been fishing in Dana Point two days ago using sardines as bait.  Now I am sitting in LAX with lots of other people feeling like a sardine myself.  I felt lucky to find a seat while I waited in the commotion and as I began to settle in, my phone rang. I looked at the called I.D. and recognized my daughter’s number.

“We were just talking about the influential things in our lives.”  Jessi said.   “I told Ren what you always said to us about life not being fair.  I’ll put you on speakerphone so you can tell him . . . O.K. go ahead.”

“Ren.  Life is not fair, so don’t expect it to be.”  I replied.

“I told Ren that you would say that every time I would be upset and say ‘It’s not fair.’”  She continued.

“It seems as if you have it imprinted in your mind.” Said I.

“Yes.  It is one of the most influential things of my life.”  She confirmed as our conversation was ending.

The call was finished and I questioningly looked at all of the people surrounding me, wondering what had been an important influence in their lives.  Then I remembered something that had happened just a few minutes earlier on the Hertz shuttle to the airport. 

A young couple from another country had told the driver that they were on Hawaiian Airlines in broken English.  When he got to that stop he helped them unload their heavy bags and was ready to pull away from the curb when he stopped.  There was no one else at the terminal stop.  He parked the shuttle again, opened the door and spent a couple of minutes talking with them.  When the conversation ended, he helped them pick up their bags and they all got back on the shuttle.

I watched the other passengers as all of this unfolded.  Not one person grumbled!

We drove on.  After two more stops the driver yelled out, “American Airlines.”  He pulled over; walked toward the back and helped the same couple unload their bags.  He pointed to the check-in portal and wished them well.  We drove on to my terminal.

Now I’m sitting in that same terminal thinking about life influencers and the Hertz shuttle driver is on the top of my list.  He has no way of knowing it; perhaps the most influential moments in our lives are also some of the most seemingly inconsequential moments; little words of advice or small acts of kindness.  If that’s the case, then shouldn’t we all concentrate on offering others more goodness through the seemingly inconsequential?

The Woman of Compassion

“I just came by to see how your father is doing.”

- A woman of compassion

The Woman of Compassion

A second call was beeping in.  Since it was my sister calling I gracefully told the person I was already speaking with that I needed to call them back.   You see, my sister was calling to give me an update on my father’s health.

At Christmas time he was well and was living in assisted living, but since then things changed at a dramatic pace.  Now he was in a memory care facility and during the previous week he had quickly turned for the worse.  I heard my sister’s voice, “You had better make plans to come and visit.  They’re telling me he has less than a week.”  I drove up to see him twice over the next three days and it was there that I learned that compassion is not just something we feel, it is a skill to be developed.

As I sat talking to my unresponsive father, on my second visit, a woman from his congregation waked in and introduced herself.  She told me a little about her interaction with my father and others in her little flock and showed concern for me as well.  She was there to show love and to offer him encouragement.  I watched.

“Hi Paul, I just came by to see how you are and to let you know we missed you at our meeting on Sunday.  We want you to get well!”  She said as she walked over to the bed and took my father’s hand.  She spoke directly to him in a bright, gentle way, and something magical happened.  His face brightened, he opened his eyes and tried to speak.  They communicated in a way unknown to me before.

Words were spoken, but were not the fundamental means of communication between them.  There was something else, something tangible to be felt there, a result, a skill, a shared compassion beyond my understanding.

She didn’t stay long; but her impressionable compassion has lived on within my father and me.  You see, the next day my sister called me again to tell me that things had changed.  I was expecting the worst.  But, it wasn’t the worst; it was good.

“Dad got up and went to breakfast and lunch today.  He’s doing well.  He has turned a corner!”

Turned a corner?  I remembered the compassionate communication I had witnessed the day before and its warmth swiftly replenished my heart.  The woman of compassion had a healing effect on my father.  And, she taught me a lesson I’ll never forget.  If you and I can learn her skill of compassion we can change our world.

Choosing a Filter for Your Lens on Life

“I’ve made it a practice to take time each day to contemplate what I’ve done well.” – Jessi Butterfield

Choosing a Filter for Your Lens on Life

My wife is a sports photographer.  She understands things such as when to use a different lens in order to get just the right picture for her purposes.  She also knows how to use a filter to create different looks for her finished product.  Her knowledge and application pave the way for her success.

Our daughter Jessi recently talked with me about using a carefully applied filter to the lens of life to in order to simplify personal success.  “I’ve made it a practice to take time each day to contemplate what I’ve done well.  It allows me to focus on what I’ve accomplished rather than feeling as if I never do anything well enough” She explained.

As I listened to what she was saying I remembered my friend Henry and what he once told me.  “I made it a practice to focus on the little miracles that happened for me and my family at the end of each week.  When I did so, I soon began to see wonder at every turn.  It allowed me to show my children that if they looked at the world in this way, they would have confidence that good things would happen to and for them on a daily basis.  It is this confidence that has helped us to face challenges together and personally, knowing that good will prevail in the end.”

Do you have a firm belief that good will prevail in your life?  Here are some small steps you can take to foster such a belief for yourself.

First, determine what you want to see in the world.  Jessi wants to see the things she has done well every day.  Henry wants to see the little miracles that have made a difference for him and his family each week.  What lens and filter would have the biggest impact on you?

Second, schedule a regular time to ponder what you’ve seen.  Henry and I have found that a weekly self-appointment works well for us.  Jessi has found that a daily appointment keeps her focused and feeling good.  You might want to try a couple of different intervals to see what works best for you.

Third, make sure to write down what you’ve seen.  Not taking the time to write has the same effect as a photographer taking time to set up her shot, looking through the lens as if she is going to record the event and then not clicking the button on the camera to memorialize the picture.  If you do this, you will never have your life’s art to look back to for strength and admiration.  My friend Kristin talked with me a couple of days ago about her review of just such a piece.  It brought everything right back to the present for her and allowed her to feel the warmth of it again, as if it had just occurred.

Finally.  Make sure you put your experiences in a place where others can learn from you.  You may not think it will make a difference for anyone else, but what if you could change the life of just one person?

I walk through my house and see the changes in my life and the lives of our children and furry family too.  My wife’s photographs are everywhere. Now you and I can use the same techniques to choose a filter on the lens of our lives.  We can begin to look for what ever we want to focus on so we can record the power, wonder and majesty of our lives.

Choose your lens and filter today. See what kind of beautiful art your life is and will become.

Casting Your Web

“It is the company we keep, the people around us, who will determine where we invest our energy.  The more we trust that the people to the left of us and the people to the right of us have our backs, the better equipped we are to face the constant threats from the outside together.” – Simon Sinek

Casting Your Web

The sun was hanging toward the Western sky.  It was bright and angled in a particular way.  And, that particular way allowed me to see something I had never seen before as I mowed my lawn.

My eyes caught the glimmer of thousands of shining strings stretching out across all the uncut grass.  The intricate pattern extended over acres of blades reaching toward the sun.  It was the perfect picture of network web casting.

One spider could not have possibly completed all of the strands I saw.  They were completed in one week’s time. 

When I cut the grass the webs disappeared.   But, the spiders that created them did not.  The strands, while appearing to be a network, were not the network.  They were simply the expression, evidence, of the work completed by the cooperative spiders.

Over the next few days I took a little bit of time each evening to watch for strands to reappear.  And they did!  The network was still in place casting its web so its expression continued. 

The hundreds of spiders living and working together in my lawn are tiny things; so tiny in fact they can’t be seen without getting down on hands and knees while carefully observing the spaces between blades of grass.  From one perspective they are so small as to be insignificant, unable to accomplish much at all.  But when viewed from the right perspective, when the sun is angled from the Western sky, the true extent of their ingenuity, individual significance and the majesty of their network are revealed.  They create a massive body of work that encompasses both beauty and function, something of significance!

You and I can learn from them.  Simon Sinek says, “It is the company we keep, the people around us, who will determine where we invest our energy.  The more we trust that the people to the left of us and the people to the right of us have our backs, the better equipped we are to face the constant threats from the outside together.”

He’s right!  There are times when you and I feel small, tiny, and as if we are so individually insignificant that we can’t make a difference.  But, if we will simply connect to like-purposed individuals we can accomplish impactful work that will encompass beauty, function and consequence.  Cast your web in cooperation with others today and find increased companionship, health, happiness and fulfillment.

Building Exceptional Value

“We should not doubt our ability to affect others in a positive way.”

-Sharla Ellis

Building Exceptional Value

Annie was sitting in the black leather seat next to me.  She had her computer open and was reading.  It reminded me of years gone by when I used to drive her to and from school.  We’d work on her homework because it was a long drive.   Both of us have fond memories of that time together.  I glanced over at her and came back to the present time as I saw that it was an all grown up version of Annie.

“What is your civic responsibility?” She said to me so I could listen to her give me the answer she was preparing to give at an upcoming scholarship pageant.

I heard another voice in my head.  “I feel as if I’ve been riding on a ticket that was paid for by others who came before me my whole life!”  My mentor, Rex Reeve said to me once.

He was a great teacher who accepted me as a teenager and then molded me into a man.  He was able to recognize valuable personal traits, that were hidden to others, and showed me how to use them so I could be of benefit to others.

“Are you paying attention to me?”  Annie said as she stopped my trip back to California in an instant.

“Yes.  What I heard you say was, ‘our community is only strong if we, as individuals, are willing to give our strength and talents to others.’”

“Right!”

“Good answer!”  I replied back.  “When a person begins to understand that they can make an impact as an individual, the world begins to change immediately!  The whole universe is based on individual growth and learning.”

“I like what Gandhi said about that!”  Annie shot back.  “Be the change you want to see in the world!”

My friend Sharla says, ‘We should not doubt our ability to affect others in a positive way.’ 

Sometimes we think we’re insignificant and can’t do anything about the way things are in the world around us.  But, the truth is that the best way for us to make a difference is to be good people.  Understanding this principle makes things much more simple.  Small things make a difference!

“Being a good neighbor is so easy!”  I said to myself as I remembered how one of my friends once made a big difference for me.  I was walking home one day when my feet hurt.  My friend Danny Idom was driving by and asked if he could give me a ride.

“Sure!” I said.

Then I marveled that he had no idea what a great thing he had done for me!  He had no way of knowing how much my feet hurt that day.  He just did it because he is a kind, gentle person.  And, he thought he was just driving his car!

My drive with Annie came to an end, but our shared relationship was about to get more valuable.  We walked into a building where we volunteered with friends to help people we didn’t know.

Helping others creates exceptional value.  But extraordinary things grow from ordinary, small things. You and I are exceptionally valuable to each other when we do small, genuine acts of kindness.