"Search-Me" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.20.2026

"Real experiences in real life gives me a lot of hope.”

– Arthur C. Brooks

Search-Me!

“If you’re only watching national politicians, the activist class, or lightning-rod podcasters or influencers, the answer is no — you don’t see any progress,” Arthur C. Brooks words boomed inside of me as my friend was speaking.

She was feeling bleak, as if the entire world was spiraling out of control. It seemed to her as if there was nothing but disagreement and chaos all around. She is not alone. Many others are experiencing the same disillusionment. Arthur calls this “a crisis of meaning” and such feelings can be characterized as common in today’s world. Luckily, there are also some common steps you and I can take to overcome such angst.

The first step is to, well, take steps. Starting your day with an early morning walk surrounded by nature will charge your soul and help you to begin with strength.

I was about to say, don’t take your phone with you, but I take my phone with me so I can shoot photos of what takes my breath away. I’ve found that if I run these photos as a slide show during the day, they act as an anchor to keep me connected with beauty.

Second, stay swathed in beauty daily. There is beauty all around us. It is so ubiquitous it can become invisible. Practice seeing it.

My friend James Griffin makes sure he doesn’t see natural beauty alone. He invites friends to walk with him a 6:00 a.m., at least one day each week. It allows him to take four steps, toward finding meaning, at once.

Spending time with friends and family is the third step everyone can take. Walking with friends to start each day is a great way to build individual relationships. It’s the perfect time to share hopes, dreams and ideas. James also uses it as a way to learn how he can help others through his work.

“My ‘walks and talks’ help me to learn about the personal struggles my friends and clients are facing. It causes the wheels to turn in my head, to wonder how I can use my business to help in ways I never would have thought of on my own. It builds my faith in the future,” James says. 

Maintaining a focusing on helping others through work is the fourth step and James unexpectedly discovered that it naturally provided the fifth step, nurturing faith, toward profound meaning, in his search. 

“Search” is a useful descriptor, because these steps are not necessarily all-inclusive. “Search-me,” is a common phrase, sometimes used in reply to a question asked. It’s a reply used when someone doesn’t know the answer. So, use these five steps, adapt them, subtract them, or add to them, as you search inside yourself to find hope and meaning.

Search-me!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

Using the Power of Three, Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.23.2026

“You can use three very power forces in the universe!” – Tim Stone

Using the Power of Three

Tim Stone began his story with a statement. “I built a wood-fired pizza oven for my home!”

Of course, Tim was excited to use his new accoutrement. So, he carefully built a fire inside the oven using flavor enhancing oak, to give his food that extra taste he was craving. Then he lit the fire and turned his efforts to gathering the ingredients to craft his pizza. That shift in effort didn’t last long!

Seconds after he turned away from his oven, a fire began ravaging his house! That unwelcome fire fully engulfed his attention as he tried everything he could do to stop the fire’s advance. Nothing helped! He and his wife barely escaped with this lives.

He said, “I must have done something wrong when I built that fateful wood-burning pizza oven!”

His home was a total loss! His life was in shambles! Well, not complete shambles, in hindsight. 

“While this fire was devastating,” Tim continued, “it led me to discover reticular activation.”

You know what that is through personal experience. For example, you buy a new car and think you’ve found something unique and special, right up to the time you drive it off, taking it out on the open road. That’s when your eyes are fully open to all cars, just like the one you bought! Your purchase triggered the reticular activating system, meaning your perception changed and you begin to pay attention to other things. In this case, cars aligned with your new focus.

Tim’s focus shifted as a result of that fire. He began to use three of the most powerful forces in the universe to build a new home, right where his now destroyed home once stood. Tim is sharing them with you.

Imagination. “Imagine, with feeling, who you want to be and what you want to accomplish,” Tim teaches. He imagined the new home he wanted by creating detailed plans with a list of comprehensive materials. Then, he employed the next powerful universal force.

Decision. “Make a determined decision exactly what you want and don’t stop until you achieve or become it,” Tim says. A firm decision is very important in this process, because unforeseen barriers will begin to appear as you progress. Such barriers can be discouraging to those without determination! And, gratefully, you’ll find your own determination as you progress forward.

Gratitude. “Enter into and stay in a consistent state of gratitude for everything in your life. Good and bad,” Tim counsels.

When you use these three forces in combination, three new things happen. You begin to attract new thoughts and ideas in alignment with your decided imagination. Your perception changes and you begin to pay attention to people and opportunities aligned with your new focus. Finally, synchronicity and coincidence begin to align with your imagination, decision and gratitude! “Things” simply begin “showing up” in your life!

Those things certainly showed up in Tim’s life. I know that for sure. Because I’ve seen the new beautiful house he created!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"1964" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.16.2026

“Gary and Connie Shellhammer were married on October 18, 1964.”

1964

Spring was in the air and Gary Shellhammer was in the driveway as I pulled in. He was moving slowly. The years have begun to impact the way he moves these days. Yet, those years have not dimmed his smile or his ability to love.

If anyone questions the depth of his love they simply need to think of the number 1964. That was the year he married Connie; on October 18th in Lakeview, Ohio. And, that same community celebrated Gary and Connie’s fiftieth anniversary in 2014, the way they always do, in small-town Logan County style. Where such events are most often community-wide invitations rather than private affairs. This anniversary-open-house was no different. The people of Lakeview love Gary and Connie because of the way they’ve loved everyone in that town for just shy of the sixty-two years, since they’ve called it home.

As soon as I pulled into Gary’s driveway and exited my car Gary’s eyes lit up. I was expected and he greeted me warmly before saying, “I’ll just be a minute. I’ll go in and get Connie.” That being said, Gary walked nattily into the house.

Gary came out of the house, holding Connie’s hand, not long afterward. His hand gently caressed hers as he guided her toward me slowly. Connie isn’t as steady on her feet as she was when she first met Gary while attending college. That doesn’t matter to Gary. Anyone can tell that by spending a moment or two observing his gentle, attentive doting.

Gary’s compassion was on full display as he reached for the car door, opened it and then spoke softly to Connie. “Take care now. Let me help you get settled. I’m going to reach across you to get your seatbelt. There! I’ve got you clicked in.”

Once Gary’s seatbelt was also tight and clicked we were on our way. We stopped and started several times while together. Gary’s consideration to Connie never changed. She was quiet. He attended to her.

“The steepness of this hill worries Connie,” Gary whispered in my ear, as we stood looking out over a landscape of rock, trees and rolling hills.

I didn’t hear Connie speak those words. Gary didn’t need to hear them audibly. Somehow, he could read everything her eyes were expressing. He answered her directly with a squeeze of her hand. That squeeze said, “I hear you. I understand. I’m here with you. I’m watching over you.”

I watched this sacrosanct interaction an entire morning; until I dropped them back at their home. Gary got out of the car first. Then, he helped Connie, just as he does every time. He moves slowly; the years heavily impacting his travel. Yet, those years have not dimmed his smile, or weakened his love. He spoke marriage vows with Connie sixty-two years ago and since then, Gary’s every movement corroborates, “I took your hand in 1964 and I’ll never let go.” 

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"Being Beautiful" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.9.2026

“The luminous and shocking beauty of the everyday is something I try to remain alert to, if only as an antidote to the chronic cynicism and disenchantment that seems to surround everything, these days. It tells me that, despite how debased or corrupt we are told humanity is and how degraded the world has become, it just keeps on being beautiful.” – Nick Cave

Being Beautiful

The woman speaking was not someone others would consider to be physically beautiful. She was an old woman now. Her skin was a reminder of how Saharan Desert wind blows naturally designing sand into distinctive patterns to create interest and beauty to dress imposing sand dunes. Looking at her exterior allows one to see the toll life can take on all of us. Yet, as she spoke it was clear that her life’s experience was much deeper than her covering skin.

“I was alone for about fifty years,” she said, while morphing beyond a worn human. “I decided to come back to this group not too long ago and I wondered if I would be accepted after being an outsider for so long.”

Her decision to become separate had left her feeling isolated for so long that disenchantment seemed to surround everything. It had made her days feel lonely and meaningless. One could even describe the quality of her lonely life as degraded. The sorrow of her spoken words caused a penetrating empathy to seep into the hearts of every person listening. The room was filled with understanding.

“Then,” she continued, “not long after I came back I received a call from Rachel Gubler.”

The eyes of the crowd traced the verbalization of Rachel to her physical presence. She was sitting in the midst of them and had a slightly sheepish look rush across face as eyes focused on her. 

“Rachel asked if she could come to pick me up. I thought we were just going to spend a little time together. And, we did. We talked as she drove and I didn’t pay attention to where she was driving until we came to this building. I couldn’t imagine why, of all the places we could go, that we would come here on that day!”

I thought of Nick Cave’s words while still focused on our friend-in-common, Rachel. 

Nick wrote, “The luminous and shocking beauty of the everyday is something I try to remain alert to, if only as an antidote to the chronic cynicism and disenchantment that seems to surround everything, these days.”

The speaking woman was reaching the crescendo of her tale. “We walked into the building and were greeted by several other woman who had all come together, at Rachel’s invitation, to throw me a surprise birthday party! That’s when I knew I was no longer alone!”

And at that moment, Nick Cave’s continuing words confirmed the meaning of that tale as I rehearsed them in my mind. 

“It tells me that, despite how debased or corrupt we are told humanity is and how degraded the world has become, it just keeps on being beautiful.”

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"Sawdust" Monday's Warm Cocoa 3.2.2026

"I have always admired a man like the late Fred Fuller Shedd, who had a gift for stating an old truth in a new and picturesque way.” – Dale Carnegie 

Sawdust

I just happened to be walking past the “fishbowl” window glass, behind which Don Dancer was sitting. We locked eyes and smiled at each other. That was my invitation to enter through the office door and say hello.

Don started our conversation by asking, “How are you?”

Then, seemingly, without taking a breath Don continued, “What are you doing to take care of yourself?”

He then talked about the importance of moving-on from one’s past before describing his determination to create his own happy and satisfying future. As he was speaking I could almost see Dale Carnegie’s persona projecting from Don’s countenance as he pontificated about the futility of worrying about the past.

Dale Carnegie wrote, “I have always admired a man like the late Fred Fuller Shedd, who had a gift for stating an old truth in a new and picturesque way. While editor of the Philadelphia Bulletin and addressing a college graduating class, he asked: ‘How many of you have ever sawed wood? Let’s see your hands.’ Most of them had. Then he inquired: ‘How many of you have ever sawed sawdust?’ No hands went up. ‘Of course, you can’t saw sawdust!’ Mr. Shedd exclaimed. ‘It’s already sawed! And it’s the same with the past. When you start worrying about things that are over and done with, you’re merely trying to saw sawdust.’”

Don has stopped trying to saw sawdust! It feels so good to him that he wanted to offer me the same gift. And, he hasn’t stop at that. He’s busy and active in designing a curated life, doing the work of sawing new wood. He’s following a process of gathering, cleaning, and selecting actions and experiences to enable his daily living to become present in a specific, intentional way.

Intention is everything when it comes to creating intended results. Don knows this and schedules personal imaging time weekly.

“I spend time thinking about what I want my future to be,” he explained to me, while emphasizing the importance of this seemingly unassuming, yet essential activity. “The reason you do it on a weekly basis is that creating the life you want is a ‘design-build’ process. It is impossible to visualize everything you want in one sitting, because you learn and build as you go!”

It was time for me to go. So, I thanked Don for inspiring me. And, as I stepped past the doorway to leave I felt the need glance at my reflected-self in that “fishbowl” window glass to see if there was sawdust needing to be brushed off!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"Linking Arms" Monday's Warm Cocoa 2.23.2026

“Her current water heater is completely burned up and not producing hot water.” – Ben Rowell

Linking Arms

“I meet people who need financial help with their plumbing regularly,” Ben Rowell explained to me one day, not long after we were introduced by a friend in common.

“I’d like to create a non-profit to help some of these people. They’re often elderly, have lost their spouse and are on a fixed income,” He clarified.

We’ve had many discussions following this initial conversation and have explored multiple options. But, institutional ways forward never felt right. They all seemed to siphon funds away from direct help toward more complex and expensive management. So, we’ve continued the way-forward-conversation since. Until I floated an impression recently.

“Let’s just gather in as many like-minded friends as possible and we’ll work together informally to help those we can,” I suggested not long before receiving an endorsing message from Ben.

“My plumber, Aaron, is at an elderly single lady’s home, says she’s on a very low fixed income and is being denied for promotional plans/financing. Her current water heater is completely burned up and not producing hot water. Do you have an interesting in helping us provide her a safe water heater?” 

Ben, as always, had seized the initiative and leapt forward! I wasn’t surprised. He comes from parents who have lived a lifetime centered on service and caring for others.

Kevin and Ruth Rowell, retired from their professions, continue teaching through their skills of compassion and giving. While assisting them to find a new home over the past few months, they maintained their focus on helping young adult students by purposefully searching for a new home in close proximity to a college campus.

“We want to be in a position to invite students into our home for dinners. We want to be where they are, so we can help in as many ways as possible,” they continually expressed to me.

“No wonder Ben is so outwardly focused,” I found myself saying time and time again, until we found them, “their place.” 

Now it was time for me to accept Ben’s invitation, with all those who would join us. 

“Of course, I’ll donate!”

“Thank you, that’s very kind. Let me check with Aaron and see how she would like to proceed and touch base again soon,” Ben responded immediately and then, right after that he sent another confirming message.

“Alright, it looks like everything is in play for us to provide this elderly woman a water heater! What would be helpful for you to provide the donation, a Venmo link?”

I looked down at the payment link shining brightly on my screen. That’s when I realized It was more than a link to share funds. It was an opportunity to link arms with others wanting to freely offer goodness to others.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing

"Creating Legacy" Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.16.2026

“My mother suggested that I make a wise decision.” 

– Alex Franco

Creating Legacy

Alex was standing in front of his business, El Trompo Loco, at the Boardwalk Food Truck Court. It’s a place known for its wide variety of international cuisines and family-friendly atmosphere, while winning the "Best of NWA Food Truck Park" Gold Award for three years running. Alex and his family are a big part of that success since their arrival three years ago. Yet, it’s a streak that may not have begun at all, had Alex made one decision differently.

“I was about to graduate from high school and didn’t have a clue what I was going to do with my life,” he explained.

Alex’s mother Lizette, however, had been quietly saving money on her son’s behalf for many years. It was her hope that the money would open a pathway toward success for Alex. So, just before his graduation Lizette surprised him by telling him of her hopeful gift.

“I couldn’t believe it!” Alex said, as his eyes brightened with a little merriment. “The first thing that came to my mind was to go out and purchase a new Chevy Camaro! I told my mom about my plan and she patiently offered me life changing advice.”

Lizette told her son, in a very loving way, of her hopes that he would use the money to create opportunity, to make his future bright and promising. Her guidance flipped a switch in Alex’s heart and mind.

“I started thinking about what I could do,” Alex said. “I thought of everything I knew how and liked to do and said to myself. I can cook using my mother’s recipes!”

That’s when Alex began searching for a food truck fitting his budget. After an extensive search he found one, purchased it and brought it home. His mother and father stayed supportive as all three cleaned-up the truck, rebranded it and began offering delicious food to their neighbors.

“It was a little difficult at first, but I found myself wanting to get up early to plan and then cook well into the night. I loved it. That all led my family and me to look for the right location.”

Yet, they found more than location. They found a community of help. The Arkansas Food Innovation Center accepted them in to their business development program where they learned a lot about business and product development. Now they’re an award-winning business with big plans to expand into salsa distribution in local grocery stores.

“We’re working to open four more food trucks now,” Lizette said before describing the family legacy she envisions. “One day we’ll add a brick and mortar restaurant to go along with our bottled salsas and marinades!”

And tomorrow? That legacy will be receiving a strong endorsement when the entire track team from Iowa State University arrives on their bus for their reservation to dine at El Trompo Loco for dinner after a big competition.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xZQuYPScTjjNNeNY96xXOVc4azkWay8v/view?usp=sharing