"Lost my Head," Monday's Warm Cocoa 6.1.2026

 

“I’ve fallen in love or imagine that I have; went to a party and lost my head. Bought a horse which I don’t need at all.”-  Leo Tolstoy, Diary entry, January 25, 1851

Lost my Head

“I’m going to destroy them,” she said as if she were a coffee pot left to percolate for too long. “I’ve lost all faith in the company I work for. They aren’t the company they used to be!”

Her harangue, as if scalding coffee was more than burning, it sucked the air out of the space between us, even though I was not a party to her bristling animosity. And, while the harsh feelings she flung on the wings of words were harrowing, what frightened me most was their likeness of my own hallucinate moments in times past. Reflections that began to strobe in my memory almost immediately.

“Be careful,” I counseled. “You likely don’t have the whole story. It’s very easy to revel in your own imaginations.” I continued, while remembering a once read diary entry of Leo Tolstoy.

“I’ve fallen in love or imagine that I have; went to a party and lost my head. Bought a horse which I don’t need at all,” he wrote.

There is at least one interesting difference between walking boldly into your hoped-for future as compared to riding a horse you don’t need. The difference is that a horse has a mind of its own and will often act independently at a time when its rider is ill prepared for the horse’s sudden deviation. Such is the risk of losing your head and unintentionally purchasing an unneeded horse. After all, haven’t we all allowed our thoughts, rooted in anger to give us an enjoyable ride at one time or another?

The combination of living in rooted anger, based on a past that can’t be changed, while staying focused on fading memories soon produces traits of hallucination. It is a mixture settling a trade with certain betrayal. The human imagination is a powerful tool that can be used for good or ill. When used for ill its owner is trading a potentially bright future for a trap. The deception is being stuck in an unalterable past; not in the present and destructive of a once hoped-for future. It is riding a horse using its own mind at its own pleasure. A pleasure not of your own design. Each of us has a continual opportunity to get off the horse to create a dreamt of pleasurable future. 

Dismount. Remove the saddle. Unfasten the reigns from the head of the horse. Let it go!

Go now! Bring me that horizon!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1y9-nBLFT0Iuc-H0r3i7UPgNPSI2TLzeY/view?usp=drive_link

"Small, Loving Things," Monday's Warm Cocoa 5.25.2026

"We cannot all do great things but we can do small things with great love.” – Mother Teresa

Small, Loving Things 

“I’m willing to help you in any way you need,” Katherine said, while standing in the hallway of her friend’s home. “I can do laundry, clean the bathrooms, or even walk your dog.” Her desire to help her ailing friend was genuine and stood out when compared to the artificial intelligence centered dialog swirling around us.

Robert Reffkin, CEO of Compass recently emphasized the importance of such trust when he said, “In a world where AI agents will bring inaccurate and fake information, like fake offers and fake renderings, human validation will continue to be important. Trust will matter even more than before.”

Makes sense doesn’t it? Yet, in today’s tech centered life, it also strikes some as inconvenient. After all, today’s immediate influencer-endorsed-posted-living all around us isn’t always genuine. So perhaps it’s time for you and I to take a more holistic approach to what we might call “personal interior design.”

Using a holistic approach doesn’t suggest an abandonment of technology. Just a shift in focus. For example, when ATMs were first introduced in banking, forecasters predicted they’d make humans less relevant. But, that hasn’t followed! The machines have made it possible for bankers to focus on other, important tasks, such as deepening personal relationships with clients.

Deepening personal relationships holistically requires a combination of science, psychology, spirituality and intentional design for personal transformation. Bring what you want forward in your life by becoming aware of unwanted patterns and outdated identities you’re living with, removing them and designing new patterns of self-worth. Instead of an exclusive focus on function and aesthetics, aim to deepen your awareness of how you can refine and reposition the personal traits you value most.

Consider the value of being present, spending face-to-face time with members of your family, or being there in person with a friend who has an illness. This doesn’t always mean kicking technology to the curb. A quick phone call to an ailing friend, when between meetings, to let them know you’re thinking of them allows you to give yourself, even when you can’t be there in person. Use positive forms of disruption in such simple, loving ways.

In order to disrupt old personal patterns with new ones, you first need to know what’s working for you now and what to let go of. It’s a continuous process, not a one-time activity, just like walking your neighbor’s dog. Keep cultivating the relationships you want and you’ll soon see them deepen in profound and unexpected ways. And, when you get discouraged remember a simple statement made by Mother Teresa.

She said, “We cannot all do great things but we can do small things with great love.”

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1y9-nBLFT0Iuc-H0r3i7UPgNPSI2TLzeY/view?usp=drive_link

"Compound Interest" Monday's Warm Cocoa 5.18.2026

 

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of.” — C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Compound Interest 

There was someone at the door. It was Roxanne, the home owner’s neighbor. Three people were in the home up until that time. One was a caregiver. The other two? Those two were normally healthy and strong. Well, for their age. They were older now and it just so happened that both of them were recovering from major surgeries this week. 

When Roxanne’s expected arrival occurred, she was gratefully welcomed; arms and hands laden as she whisked through the door. From the time she had called, until her arrival, she had been out collecting dinner items for the home’s trio of occupants. Now she glided into the kitchen, where she deposited an artisan loaf of bread and a hearty soup, which caused comforting smells and pleasant smiles to drift throughout the kitchen.

“I’ll be back, not tonight though,” Roxanne said before she dashed off to enjoy a dinner out with other friends from the neighborhood. “Our friends have gathered some gift and delivery cards and I’ll bring them by on another day.”

“It’s so kind of her,” the sole man of the house said. “Isn’t it nice that to have someone show kindness without an assignment?” He was also thinking of his friend Phil who had helped him earlier in the week.

Phil Grimm is a Chief Financial Officer by profession. Yet, he took time to help and shelter his friend just four days earlier. He’d picked him up at the airport, prior to his friend’s scheduled surgery and took him home so he could rest the night before going to the hospital. The next morning, he drove his buddy to the hospital, checked him in and supportively sat with him for the day until his release. Upon which, the two friends drove back to Phil’s residence together so they could rest for the evening and night, before Phil helped the next day as well.

The next morning, the now hobbled patient relied on Phil to help him into the car and take him to the airport, so he could return to his own home, three quarters of the way across America. And, while sitting on the plane he couldn’t help but ponder C. S. Lewis’ observation in his book Mere Christianity, as it seemed a fitting tribute to his financial expert friend.

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of.”

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1y9-nBLFT0Iuc-H0r3i7UPgNPSI2TLzeY/view?usp=drive_link

"Blinded by Change," Monday's Warm Cocoa 5.11.2026

"When I couldn’t see the house, I was confused.”

Blinded by Change

I sent a message to my friend Gary late in the afternoon, the day before our meeting. He confirmed he’d be there to meet Tony and me the next morning. I really wanted to introduce them to each other because they’re both such great people!  We were to meet at Gary’s house.

I took a leisurely drive to Gary’s house in the morning, with plenty of drive time for an early arrival. You know how traffic can be so unpredictable. That planning allowed me to turn on Gary’s street a few minutes early and unruffled. When I couldn’t see the house, I became confused! 

Have you ever had a feeling of complete disarticulation; that feeling of being lost, even though you knew where you were? That’s how I felt when I couldn’t locate Gary’s familiar house.

I looked at numbers on surrounding houses. When I couldn’t see the number, I was looking for I went to the closest intersection to check the name on street sign. Right street! I turned around, drove slowly and looked carefully. I still didn’t locate Gary’s house. I was puzzled!

It was a puzzle worth solving, so I turned around again and Identified known landmarks. This approach helped and worked. It worked because this time I was able to see past the bevy of trucks hiding Gary’s house.

Disaster cleanup workers were beyond those trucks on the roof, in the yard and inside Gary’s newly charred home. I walked past the workers, after parking, into the open front door. Luckily Gary and Connie weren’t there! I was worried and spent the next few minutes talking with the workers in an effort to find out what had happened.

The house had caught fire earlier that very morning! I called Gary to find him well and at his son’s house. Luckily, his house is not a total loss, but it’ll be a while before it’s repaired. I don’t know when that will be, just like I didn’t know a fire would precede my visit.

This whole experience started turning the wheels of my mind. Why wasn’t I able to see a house I had frequented? What was that unsettling, yet familiar feeling of disarticulation?

When the familiar is instantly recognizable, you and I begin to feel lost and confused. Even though the surrounding world hosts landmarks we still have an unsettled feeling. When such change happens, it’s important to find refuge in arms of loved ones.

Our world is changing rapidly. When you’re blinded by such change, fill your heart with trusted and restorative love.

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o0GY09KRBaL4mhziZ4PV3Om-vBBy7t4f/view?usp=sharing

"Binding Glue" Monday's Warm Cocoa 5.4.2026

“I’m in Denver, on my way to mom,” Ron Green.

Binding Glue

“I’m in Denver, on my way to mom,” Ron’s voice updated over the phone last Sunday.

It was a call I’d been anxious to receive. It was not a happy anxiousness. It was more of an underlying anticipation of loss. Ron’s call was confirmation that the loss was imminent. We were losing the binding glue holding our shared book of life together. I’ve heard the term “book of life” for the entire time I’ve been on earth. But until now, I’ve never considered the binding of life’s book. 

We live in a time where many of us read our books through a mechanical device. I happen to be one of those, as almost all of my reading is done viewing my Kindle. Yet, I happen to be old enough to also have lots of books carefully resting on the shelves of my home-library. Those physical books have a binding holding their pages in place through expertly applied glue or stitching. Without that binding the pages would no longer be cohesive. Binding glue interconnects all of the pages in the book.

Bebe Green, Ron’s mother, has been the binding glue of our shared book of life. She has been the glue interconnecting us, several generations now. She has been our common dominator, our constant connector. Ron’s call would have normally come from Bebe. It’s not that I don’t talk with Ron regularly. I do. Yet, this particular call caused me to immediately miss a cherished voice. It was my first glimpse of noticeable receding binding glue.

To catch a glimpse of something is different than feeling and accounting for its full impact! Receding glue is the same. At first you can see that a binding’s glue has become a little discolored. Then you notice it has become a little brittle. That’s when you know you have to handle the effected book more carefully, gently. When the binding glue of your book of life begins to recede, the same pattern happens in sequence, causing the individual pages to become less tightly bound than they once were.

Today, all of our book-of-life-pages are still in place. They’re tightly bound, even though they’re spread. We’re scattered across America and beyond while the binding glue’s strength is gathering us from where the wind has blown us. And, by the end of the coming week those pages will be tightly bound for the last time.

We’ll be gathered together to honor our binding glue. We’ll be arm in arm. We’ll be watering each other’s shoulders with shared tears. We’ll be bidding our mother, grandmother, godmother, cherished friend and binding glue a fond farewell.

But, we are not bidding farewell to the great book of life! More books are being written and Bebe Green has shown us what it means and how to be binding glue. And, that is her greatest tribute and exactly what she had worked a lifetime to accomplish!

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o0GY09KRBaL4mhziZ4PV3Om-vBBy7t4f/view?usp=sharing

"Savored Moments" Monday's Warm Cocoa 4.27.2026

“You won’t believe it when you see what my daughter just did! I’ll send you a photo,” 

– K. Johnson

Savored Moments

“You won’t believe it when you see what my daughter just did! I’ll send you a photo,” she said excitedly.

Such an excited announcement could mean at least a couple of things. It could mean I was going to hear from a distraught mother. Yet, when I heard a laughter bouncing off my eardrum I knew she was taking it all in stride. That merriment of motherhood also ushered in a second possible meaning of the phone-based pronouncement.

It was the acknowledgement that yes, there was a huge mess made by an active toddler and it was okay, even laughable. Our conversation and mirth demonstrated the importance of focusing on happiness providing personal virtues. 

The concept of virtue ethics was pioneered by Aristotle. His work focused on exploring how to live a good and happy life by emphasizing "being" over "doing," while focusing on what a virtuous person would do, rather than relying on strict rules or consequences. The laughing mother on the phone call was modeling her possession of personal virtue by savoring her daughter’s handiwork.

Aristotle posited that happiness is achieved through "activity of the soul in accordance with virtue". Virtues are character traits most often identified as attributes like courage, justice, patience and generosity. They’re developed through practice and habit. And, while not as well studied in the concepts of virtue as many others, the virtue of “savor” could well be added to the list.

When the promised photos of the talked-about toddler arrived on my phone I could see a lot of savoring in the images. I could also hear the sounds of savored happiness from her mother on the phone.

“I don’t think I have ever savored Nutella in this way,” I said as I studied the chocolaty smear covering the girl’s face, hair, hands and arms. Hers was a not a simple tasting. Her savoring was a method of becoming one with the spread, as well as with the color of the kitchen cabinets, while complementing the lighter-colored tile flooring. The child’s happiness also flattered the savored contentment of her mother.

Nothing destroys happiness and contentment faster than falling prey to a reliance on strict rules or consequences in such moments; as offered by a daughter dancing while covered in Nutella. When something like savoring smeared Nutella happens we are all offered a choice and a chance. The choice is between happiness and discontent.

Choose the virtue of savored moments and happiness when the offer presents itself.

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o0GY09KRBaL4mhziZ4PV3Om-vBBy7t4f/view?usp=sharing

"Enchanted" Monday's Warm Cocoa 4.20.2026

“It is urgent to live enchanted.”— Valter hugo mãe

Enchanted

“Jim and I both find a lot of things about this house to be very appealing,” Rhonda said before making a quick, yet very significant side-note. “This is the one telling us it is our place!”

There was a time, in the past, when I would have not used a yellow highlighter on the memory cells in my brain to emphasize that little side-note. But, that would have been a very long time ago. Ever since I was with my Uncle Jerry as we stood near the back of his flat-bed farm truck talking. As his dog waved his tongue at us from atop it’s worn wood plank flooring. I was filled with wonder at the bond between my uncle and his hovering, attentive dog.

“How did you know this dog would be a good one,” I asked as any expectant mentee would.

Jerry’s answer was rapid and definite, “I simply walk among the dogs, in the local animal shelter, until I find the one who knows me. When one recognizes me, we go home together.”

That was my first experience with enchanted living. And, its impact deeply imprinted, lasting for more than fifty years!  So-much-so that watching for its manifestation has become an established philosophy of living and followed methodology over subsequent years. Of this, one of my friends said, “It is a way for me a make a life!”

That is exactly what Jim and Rhonda Kaschmitter were planning to do as they began to plan for life after they retired from their professional lives. They wanted to make a life. I didn’t know them prior to this. We lived in completely different places and I first met them in Uncle Jerry fashion, crossing paths as they were out looking for the “place that knew them.”

Of course, there were times when they were unsure. But, they were not alone on their journey. During one of their trips, to the place that knew them, while searching for their new home, they brought some friends with them. Those friends arrived as skeptics of enchanted living and left as staunch supporters.

“We’ve seen how you light up when you’re here and know this is where you should be,” Jim and Rhonda’s friends said on the day of their departure back to their home in another state.

It took Rhonda and Jim many more trips and days of looking for the neighborhood and home that knew them. In fact, it took them two years before Rhonda said, “Jim and I both find a lot of things about this house to be very appealing,” before making that quick, yet very significant side-note. “This is the one telling us it is our place!”

_______________________________________________

I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Both Sides of the Fence, About the Dish, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1o0GY09KRBaL4mhziZ4PV3Om-vBBy7t4f/view?usp=sharing