"Costumes," Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.14.2026

A family dressed in community-based clothing.

Costumes

I was sitting near Gate 11 in a regional airport when I spotted one particular group of people. They were waiting for a flight at an adjacent gate, which was soon to depart for Detroit. It wasn’t their waiting that caught my eye. It was their distinct clothing. The clothing they wore delivered a definite message. It identified their community.

“Community-based clothing,” I whispered to myself, while thoughts stirred about its broader meaning. Their apparel was designed and produced to serve a specific group of people. The people they shared ties with. The people with whom they lived and shared a common identity. The clothing represented a subculture, their societal connection. They weren’t chasing mass-market trends. Their garments prioritized a localized identity, mutual benefit, and shared values. The clothes they wore were designed to make them stand apart.

“Stand apart,” I thought. The words quickly caused an eruption of dawning light to enliven my brain. It was an eruption turned into interruption. It changed my view entirely.

“They’re not really any different than everyone else here,” I mumbled as my evaluation process ramped up. I looked around at the people sitting near us. I began to intently notice the people deplaning and walking past.

“We’re all wearing costumes!”

With that, I thought about the costume I was then wearing and what it said about my own community. What group was my costume designed to identify me with?

“Stand with!”

Perhaps our choice of clothing is more about standing with others rather than standing apart! Maybe it’s the same message, said in different words. At the same time, there is a subtle and important distinction.

That difference is, well, difference. It all depends on the way we choose to think about our personal relationship with other people. This thought changed the way I viewed the formerly peculiar people sitting at Gate 10. Rather than viewing them as different and apart from all of the other people in the terminal, I saw them as the same.

We were all people gathered in an airport traveling to a destination, while wearing our costume of choice.

“Now boarding for Detroit,” the announcement barked.

I watched the group of seven people-of-community stir. They stood and gathered their personal belongings. They walked to Gate 10 with all others going to Detroit. Every single person stood in an orderly line to board the same plane to Detroit.

They were all people going to the same place. They just weren’t wearing the same costumes.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cyq612ohmd8YUwEa5WXZjA3IWJVDPzOe/view?usp=sharing

Fighting the River, Monday's Warm Cocoa 9.7.2026

“I believe we create our future by what we say and think now.” –Dave Zitting

Fighting the River

“My garden’s production has exploded this year, so I thought I’d make us classic BLT’s using what I’ve grown,” Dave said, just before dashing out the door to gather the ingredients. He soon reappeared with his hands filled with fresh produce, just collected. Then, he laid every ingredient out and began to craft sandwiches. I marveled at his focused attention to detail and craftsmanship. I shouldn’t have been surprised. We’ve been warmly associated for many years, so I’ve learned to trust his advice. And, it was apparent that Dave is also a sandwich artist who was about to give me more than a sandwich.

“You know, I’m a little concerned about the frequency of some particular words you’ve used in our conversations lately,” Dave said as he sliced, garnished and assembled.

His words prickled my ears because I was unaware of what he was referring to. Luckily, he pressed forward; my wellbeing at heart.

“I believe we create our future by what we say and think now,” He reminded me. “I’m afraid you’re subconsciously creating a future you don’t want.”

Then he cited examples of what he was referring to. And, his description of what I had been saying and the implications foretold were right on!

“Interestingly,” I meekly responded, “I’ve been learning a very important life lesson over the past few months.

I went on to tell him that I had held the belief that I could “power through challenges” over the course of my entire life. Now, life was teaching me something new. It was revealing itself as “river,” more powerful than personal will.

A river’s power generally flows in one direction; can give and take life. Yet, it can be navigated directionally by a skilled navigator who can harness its power while beneficially using it to their advantage! An experienced river-runner friend once exhibited this to me on a trip down a roaring river.

My experienced friend had acquired specialized equipment that allowed him to glide along the water with amazing agility and grace so he could enjoy the river’s beauty. I, on the other hand, was inexperienced and had a small blow-up boat, more suited for lounging on a swimming pool! By the end of one day on the river I was exhausted and spent. He was not! He is a river running artist, just as Dave is a skilled friend, coach and sandwich artist.

Dave and I enjoyed the magnificent sandwiches he crafted whilst he counseled me on how to stop fighting life’s river and navigate it more effectively. So, I can harness its power to create more beauty, abundance and joy.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cyq612ohmd8YUwEa5WXZjA3IWJVDPzOe/view?usp=sharing

Healthy Gut, Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.31.2026

 

“It just doesn’t feel right to us.” -  Chad Robinson

Healthy Gut

“I know we’ve only lived in our house for a couple of years,” Chad said before he went on to explain the decision he and Heather had made.

They loved their house, neighborhood and neighbors. Those factors weren’t causing them to question what they wanted to do with their life in the near future. They had a feeling inside. It was a strong feeling. Something they could no longer ignore.

An outside observer, someone who didn’t know this couple, who always made important decisions together, would listen to the words about to flow out of Chad and come to one quick and artless decision! He and his wife had gone crazy! I knew differently.

I know Chad and Heather quite well. We’ve spent many hours together talking about their hopes and dreams in great detail. That together-time has confirmed their healthy gut! And, I’m not talking about their digestive system here. They are especially successful at “inside-listening.”

Inside-listening isn’t about verbal communication. It’s about communicating fully within yourself. I’m sure you’ve been told and understand that a lot of human communication is nonverbal.

There is no universal or scientifically proven percentage for how much of human communication is nonverbal. Communication experts agree that communicating with context matters. Words carry a heavy load in sharing factual data, instructions, or written information. Yet, there’s a lot of unsaid communication.

Nonverbal, non-factual communication cues such as facial expression, posture and vocal tone express emotion, feeling, attitude and social intent. I call these nonverbal cues contentment-communication or expressions of happiness. Everyone communicates with each other and themselves nonverbally. Chad and Heather are proficient in both.

Yet, inside-listening is often a continual struggle, even for those who are adept at it. Perhaps that’s why it is commonly described as a still, small voice and why Chad and Heather rely on a tried and true inside-listening process.

As soon as they feel a little urging inside they stop and acknowledge it. Next, they begin to wonder about it, which leads them to set aside distractions and time for reflective consideration. Chad likes to pull his mountain bike out and ride the trails around and through their town. It gives him a chance to clear his mind and let his inner wisdom speak purely and quietly.

Finally, Heather and Chad circle back together and talk about their internal discoveries. They never make a final decision until they’ve completed this process in its entirety. So, when Chad tells me “it just doesn’t feel right to us” it’s more than just a gut feeling.

He’s telling me he has a healthy gut!

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cyq612ohmd8YUwEa5WXZjA3IWJVDPzOe/view?usp=sharing

"Stand-in" Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.24.2026

“Where is your uniform?” -  Roger Helsleph

Stand-in

“I got a call from a friend. He was the father of another player. He gave me an address and the name of someone to pick up,” Roger said as we sat in comfortable circumstances, over breakfast.

He went on to say, “When I knocked on the worn door a coarse girl opened it. When I asked for Nick, she turned her head and shouted. Nick!”

Nick came to the door dressed in an old t-shirt, shorts and worn shoes. Roger was surprised. His own son was sitting in the car waiting, dressed in his basketball uniform and shoes. So, he asked Nick, “where is your uniform?

“I don’t have one,” Nick responded in a matter-of-fact voice.

Roger was apprehensive, so he called the friend who asked him to get the boy. When the friend answered the phone, he responded smoothly about a uniform.

“You don’t need to worry,” he said. “I have a new uniform and shoes for Nick. All you need to do is get him to the ball game.”

The two-hour drive to the basketball gym allowed Roger to find out other surprising information. Nick had never played basketball before! Yet, the consternation caused by that admission was short lived.

Right before the game, after Nick dressed in his new game clothes, the team began their normal warm-up routine. The players lined up and began their standard layup drill.

“Nick didn’t do a layup! He jumped to the ceiling and jammed the ball through the hoop! That’s what opened my eyes to the exceptional athletic ability of the kid. I knew he was something special right then,” Roger said excitedly.

The team won that first game because of Nick’s athletic skill. Then, they went on to win the league championship. And, that was just the beginning of special things to happen for this young man.

The father who invited Nick to play changed Nick’s circumstances by adopting him into his family not too long afterward. That opened the door for Nick to learn another game. Football.

Nick played football in college and became a star on the rise. He transferred his skill into pro football, where he played for a few seasons before coming back home to raise his own family.

“He was a stand-in, first-time basketball player. He became the son of a stand-in father when he needed one. So, he knows the importance of standing-in where and when he’s needed on and off the field. Today he is standing and starring off the field as a father and family business owner,” Roger said when ending his story.

Stand-in when the opportunity presents itself. It will change the trajectory of countless lives.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cyq612ohmd8YUwEa5WXZjA3IWJVDPzOe/view?usp=sharing

"Endurance," Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.17.2026

“I chose Jensen's comments about persistence and resilience.” -  Andrew Bart   

Endurance

My friend and business partner Andrew’s note began with, Jensen Huang, founder of Nvidia was famously quoted: “If I knew how hard it would be, I probably wouldn't have started NVIDIA.”

“Jensen went on to say that true endurance is the real superpower behind long-term success. Jensen has been NVIDIA's CEO for more than three decades, but I would guess that most of you had not even heard of him until late 2023 or early 2024,” Andrew’s note continued.

I continually pondered and examined this message over the past few days. Concluding that most, if not all, of us could look over our preceding years and make the same statement around, “If I knew how hard it would be, I probably wouldn’t have started. Yet, many of us have continued on, reaping unexpected benefits and lessons of enduring while some allow challenges faced to crush their will and desire to continue on.

Perhaps these thoughts highly impacted me this week as a result of working with my friend John Michael Miller. We spoke while in an office building, in which we are negotiating a lease hold agreement. He talked about the challenges he’s faced during the start and continuation of his law practice and reputation.

“You know the age-old saying, taught to me by my father, it takes a lifetime to build a reputation for being honest and trustworthy, and only one small act to destroy it in an instant," he asked while explaining his constant vigilance and dedication to his law practice and his personal reputation.

Then, he offered another astute observation, “I have found that faced challenges produce valuable benefits for me professionally and personally. I am grateful for them!”

John continued by explaining the relationship between challenge, endurance and profitability, by saying that his approach to enduring trials has shifted over time. He doesn’t wish for difficulties, but he no longer laments them. He fixes his focus by examining each challenge he struggles through. He constantly asks, “what am I learning and gaining because of this?”

This directed focus has made a tremendous difference for John. It changed his perspective from seeing trial endurance as a necessary evil to using it as an enabler for creation. It allows him to anticipate the hope and beauty shortly to be his.

“It’s a reveal-an-unexpected-future-map, guiding me to a future I could have never imagined,” he said, causing me to see a relationship with Andrew’s words, “I chose Jensen's comments about persistence and resilience.”

You and I can choose persistence and resilience as a tool for expectant emergence. If we do, it will serve us to create a grander, unconceived and unexpected future while helping us to endure-well everything we face.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cyq612ohmd8YUwEa5WXZjA3IWJVDPzOe/view?usp=sharing

"Neighbors" Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.10.2026

“You have great neighbors!” -  Ambulance EMT   

Neighbors

Her morning didn’t begin the way she thought it would; even for a Monday.

“I was feeling ill all weekend and didn’t know if I could get up! I tried anyway,” Laura said.

That try caused her to fall to the floor.

“I passed out! I don’t know for how long. So, as soon as I regained clarity I reached my phone and touched two numbers.”

The first call Laura made was to emergency services. The next was to her across-the-street neighbor.

“As soon as I called, my neighbors came over right over. They arrived about the same time as the Fire Department EMTs.”

The EMTs started their work by talking and assessing. They were gentle and thorough. As were her attending neighbors. The neighbors also answered EMT questions, were supportive in every way possible and sure not to be in the way. They scurried a little further into the background as soon as the ambulance arrived. 

It took quite a bit of maneuvering to roll the gurney from the ambulance through the front door, across the foyer, through a corner of the living room, past an tight angled hallway and into the bedroom. Then, the four fire department care specialists worked carefully to prepare and lift Laura securely onto the gurney before retracing their route out of the house.

As they wheeled out, one of the EMTs said, “You have great neighbors!”

“Yes, I do,” Laura said brightly with a smile. “My neighbors are the best!”

“We’ll lock your house and check back with you a little later today. We’ve got you,” Laura’s neighbors called out as the fire department lifted and pushed her into position, securing her in the ambulance.

Gratefully, Laura arrived back home later that day. Her daughter-in-law collected her from the hospital and helped her into the house. Laura hobbled along in the medical boot protecting her broken foot. Her across-the-street neighbors brought her dinner that night. 

Others came and visited with her the entire evening, making sure she wasn’t alone. Laura’s friends jumped into action, calling each other and they soon had day-forward meals lined up. They knew it would be difficult for her to stand and cook food by herself. 

As soon as meals were planned, they called Laura’s daughter, living in a different state, to let her know what had happened, while comforting her that her mother was not alone. They’d be there for her.

“They’re always here for me,” Laura said. “Lots of people use the word neighbor to describe someone who lives next door, across the street, or nearby. But, the people living near me live by what my neighbor, Chris Hand, once called, ‘the neighbor code,’ while helping me through a difficulty. Thank goodness I have such neighbors!”

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1cyq612ohmd8YUwEa5WXZjA3IWJVDPzOe/view?usp=sharing

"Identity" Monday's Warm Cocoa 8.3.2026

"I had become absorbed by my title! I could no longer see another identity,”  

Identity

The casual dinner conversation turned as soon as Carly made a profound statement.

“When you’re an adult there is no reason to be unhappy in your work!”

The truth of her statement seemed to suck the air out of the entire, iconic restaurant. Of course, her words weren’t suddenly voiced without basis. The preceding conversation was all about the path she and her husband, Phil, had taken in their careers. Neither of their paths had followed a straight-line to prosperity, happiness and fulfillment. Yet happily, they had arrived in such a position.

“I was working a crushing number of hours,” Phil had explained a few moments before Carly’s insightful remark. “The pressure was always on and when a management change occurred, in the form of a new CEO, the culture shifted immediately. It became even more intense!”

His career had followed a corporate path he characterized as “title focused.” And, it took a major shift in workplace pressure, demand and leadership to reveal his plight.

“I had become absorbed by my title! I could no longer see another identity,” he explained.

Carly’s eyes were soft and understanding as he spoke. She had been through every part of this journey with him and had helped him walk a path toward personal and professional re-discovery. They had been through it together and they had uncovered recognizable warning signs while seeking a more joyful and fulfilling life.

Carly became so adept at seeing those cautionary markers that when she saw them in her own workplace she recognized them immediately.

“The people I was working with were unhappy and negative about everything,” she explained. “That negativity was so endemic I knew it wouldn’t change. That’s when I realized that as an adult there is no reason to be unhappy in your work. I could seek other opportunities.”

She looked for a change in employment and atmosphere and soon found it. Now she’s happily working and using her expertise elsewhere, while appreciating the enhanced positivity at work and home. The same has been true for her husband.

“I wake up excited every day now,” Phil said as he described a recent experience he had as part of his work.

His eyes brightened as he spoke. His eyes lifted and sparkled. The inflection sounding in his voice was one of pure joy. His happiness reflected an identity no longer dominated by a job title.

Phil and Carly have claimed their chosen identities. They are fulfilled, happy and contributing to each other and our community as a result.

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I’m Lynn Butterfield, Real Estate & Lifestyle Expert and Television Host for American Dream TV. I’ve helped hundreds of Buyers and Sellers, as an Associate Broker with Coldwell Banker, to discover where and how they want to live and work; to achieve what I call Realesation™. That’s why I bring you American Dream TV, Monday’s Warm Cocoa and Home by Design Magazine to stir your heart and mind. Contact me so I can join you along your own unique path of discovery.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1e5_jupxN3vxL53bCgPiPgpA5D6-OFEbZ/view?usp=sharing