“Please be in touch with someone to let them know that we’re “pulling for him!”

– Michael Perlman

Guardian

“I don’t know if it’s for public knowledge, but I do know you’re friends.”  Michael’s message started.

It wasn’t a surprise to receive such a message from Michael Perlman.  He is a guardian.

A guardian is a protector, defender, preserver, champion, custodian, guard, keeper, conservator, caretaker.  Such words define Michael, his business and life.

“And, would you like his wife’s phone number?  That way you can text her and give her your good thoughts.”  He continued.

I say I wasn’t surprised.  That’s because over the preceding years I’ve made note of Michael’s Rules of Guardianship.

You’ve heard it said, “It’s not personal, it’s just business?”  Such a concept is completely foreign to Michael.  His first rule?  It’s always personal!  He knows that sustainable business requires a deep, abiding personal relationship.  Successful relationships are always rooted in trust.

Trust, Michael’s second rule, is something that is earned over an extended period of time.  While some people look for a quick sale, he understands the difference between one sale and building a business.  Perhaps that’s because he established rule number one, first.  Business is always personal.  That means he pays particular attention to the particular matters of life.

Pay attention to the personal details is Michael’s third rule.

“Just heard multiple times from his wife!  His son had an extra-large liver, so they were able to give him a much bigger piece (like ¾ of his son’s) so that’s great! His son is now in recovery and he’s still getting his transplant sewn in.”

Sewn in!  Michael’s fourth rule.  He has the unique ability to stitch others into relationship.  In short, he’s inclusive.  He’s so inclusive that he created a large network of professionals to allow them to learn from each other, be more successful; to grow the pie.  It’s a group that has been together for many years.  And, it continues to grow because everyone chooses to participate.

Finally, Michael’s fifth rule.  Live life because you want to!  People are in Michael’s life because they choose to be there.  He personally draws them in.  He earns their trust over time.  He pays attention to the smallest details of their lives and he binds others together.  They stay together because they want to; because of Michael!

“I don’t know if it’s for public knowledge, but I do know you’re friends.”  Michael’s message started.

It wasn’t a surprise to receive such a message from Michael Perlman.  He is a guardian.

He’s my guardian and friend.  He’s my teacher.  And, the giver of Michael’s Five Rules of Guardianship.

I hope you’ll accept his gift!

“Serving people in a food pantry is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had.” – Barry Smith

Filling and Fulfilling

“I donate my time every Tuesday at a local food pantry.”  Barry Smith said.  “Serving people in a food pantry is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever hand.”

Then he went on to explain.

“I didn’t even know that there were such profoundly poor people in our community.”  He continued.  “But I’ve learned a couple of things by working there.  Things that I never would have expected!”

The first thing he talked about was types of distance.  He lives in a different town, from where the pantry is, and while it’s really just a short drive for him to get there, about twenty minutes,  his own heart was much farther from the people he serves more than he imagined.

“I found that distance doesn’t matter.  The people I attend to there are just like me in most ways.  Being there with them and getting to know them has closed a gap in my understanding.  It has also closed a gap in my heart!”  He clarified.

There are different aspects to distance.  Sometimes we remain focused on a concept of separation and time exclusively.  But, Barry believes that a larger concern is a common trait that seems to be shared by almost all people.  That characteristic is one of exclusion.

“For some reason, people decide that there is an imaginary line that exists between us!  I’ve found that this line is arbitrary and something of mental fabrication.  It’s a story we tell ourselves!”  Barry said, with a warmth in his eyes.

Another kind of story people tell themselves is that everyone will be happy if they would simply be like they, themselves, are.  That hasn’t been Barry’s experience at all.

“Some of the poorest people I meet at the pantry are also the happiest people I’ve ever met.  And, they don’t want to change their economic position in any way.  They’re just happy!  They’re grateful!  They have a feeling that what they have is enough.  Maybe their stomachs are growling a little, but their demeanor is not!  Have you ever met someone who has whatever they want, that money can buy, yet they’re unhappy?

Now, don’t get me wrong.  They are millions of people who are financially healthy and happy at the same time.  And, there are millions of people who are who are financially unhealthy and unhappy as well.  Financial status isn’t the message of Barry’s story.

“I donate my time every Tuesday at a local food pantry.”  Barry Smith said.  “Serving people in a food pantry is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever hand.”

Then he went on to explain.

“I didn’t even know that there were such profoundly poor people in our community.”  He continued.  “But I’ve learned a couple of things by working there.  Things that I never would have expected!”

The look on Barry’s face told the unspoken part of his tale.  His eyes were bright as he was relating his account during lunch.  His stomach was filled.  But it is the relationships he’s developed with the people he serves, as well as the people he serves with, that have given him the too rare gift of being filled and fulfilled.

“Everyone on our team brought an important piece to complete the puzzle!” -  Matt Donaldson

Puzzled

“It has been a long three years!”  Matt said.

Matt and his partners were teetering on the edge of their years-long-work imploding.  That’s the point where he called his closest friends and asked them for help.  They responded. 

“There isn’t anything in this for me.”  One friend said, before continuing, “I’m in!”

There were six such friends who stepped in to offer their expertise and work to do everything they could to create something past just success.  Most importantly, they cemented their friendship as well.

“Everyone brought something special.  They all added their unique piece to fill in the seemingly lost pieces to the puzzle.  We could not have found success without everyone!

Matt went on to list the seven steps he’s been able to identify to help us solve our puzzle of building and maintaining friendships.

First, show yourself as friendly. Matt is convinced that it takes energy and effort on our part. He’s found that few want to take the first step and reach out first. So, if you want friends, make the first move! Reach out and introduce yourself first.

Call an old acquaintance first and ask if they’d be up for meeting at the local restaurant for breakfast. The point here is to be the first one to make the move. Not all will respond, but if you keep trying, someone will take you up on your offer and that’s when you’ll find a possibility for deeper connection.

Second, learn to find common ground. Recognize that there will be differences between two people in any relationship.  Expect this! People are designed uniquely as a result of their life experiences. Don’t emphasize your differences; rather look for similarities.

Are there things you can talk about that both of you are passionate about? Are there hobbies you both enjoy? Are there similarities in family structures? Do you share any history together? Use these similarities as a springboard for conversations that will lead to meaningful relationship.

Third, learn to be authentic. As you navigate the waters of friendship, make sure you’re keeping it real. Tell the truth about yourself and your struggles.  Listen carefully to others as they do the same. Truthfully, we all have areas of our lives in which we are stuck. It might be our marriage, parenting dilemmas, or other failures. Life presents enough room for all of us to make errors of judgment and lapses of character. Hiding and friendship are not compatible bedfellows.

Let’s be clear here. Don't hang all your dirty laundry out in one afternoon, but instead look for opportunities to reveal the truth about who you are and who you’ve become, and even who you desire to be.  This will allow authentic friendship to thrive!

Fourth, choose to be transparent and vulnerable. No one wants to develop relationships in which there is an absence of honesty. Choose to not hide. Frankly, although it might appear that we have it all together in all the complicated areas of our lives, we don't if we’re honest.

Fifth. Make friends without an agenda. I know in some form or fashion, we are all engaged in sales. We sell our products and services to family and our friends. But, when we’re looking for meaning that comes from friendships, we must be willing to look for deep connection without an agenda. If we do choose to lay aside our desire for financial gain in our meetings, it will come with the rewards of genuine authenticity.  Our agenda should be genuine concern for the other.

Sixth.  Keep confidences. If we choose to reveal a secret to someone outside the circle of friendship without permission, and our friend hears about that breach, we lose trust. When trust is lost, the possibility of a close authentic relationship is not possible. When we hear a confidence, we must hold it close to our hearts and value the trust that was given to us. Guard that information as a sacred trust.

Seventh. Place yourself in the right position for facilitating friendships. Staying home and eating potato chips on the sofa while binge watching Netflix will not get the job done.  Actively look for situations that foster the kind of friendships you’re seeking; to become the kind of person that will make change in our world.

Everyone has something special to bring.  Everyone can add their unique piece to fill in the lost pieces necessary to solve the fluid puzzles presented by our chaotic world.  We can never have the greatest success possible without everyone.

Are you willing to add your piece to the puzzle?

“It was an important afternoon!” – Lorraine Broderick

An Important Afternoon

“It was 1943.” Lorraine said.  “I remember thinking, why didn’t I have anybody?  When momma and daddy died in the car accident, I should have died too!”

Lorraine Broderick was talking about how we all look foolish at one time or another.  This was one such time for her.  It was one of those days when she was feeling alone and, well, blind because for some reason she had forgotten one important afternoon!  

“I remember stubbornly dwelling on the thought, that I didn’t I have anybody of significance in my life?”  Lorraine stopped, sort of reminisced vacantly, and then continued her story.  “At the moment of my deepest despair, a pivitol instant, I had another thought.  One that overtook that painful, stubborn one.” 

At the peak of her pain, this other thought opened the door for her to be released and travel psychologically.  In the blink of an eye she was back on a street near her childhood home in Hartford, Connecticut in 1943.  That was the day she met John Smith, a newspaper-stand attendant just down the road from where she lived.

“I bought a paper from him for a nickel.  He had tobacco juice on his lips.  But, I talked to him because he was so nice to me.  He told me all about selling papers.”  She reflected with tears welling up in her eyes.   “He said I was very nice.  He asked me my name and where I lived.  We talked about school and growing up.  And, just before we parted he told me I’d grow up one day to be a lovely person.  He was the nicest man I had ever known and I only knew him for one afternoon.”

The memory of her afternoon with John Smith, a man she’s only known for a few minutes, on one day, turned the path of Lorraine’s life many years later, when she needed it most.   

“John had more faith in me than anyone else!  For some reason I knew that, from the moment we met. And, we simply talked while I helped him sell papers for the afternoon.”  

Yet, as it turned out, it was an important afternoon for both of them.  Shortly after Lorraine’s life was changed by John for a second time, she found out that their afternoon together had also changed the path of John’s life.  

“An insurance adjustor knocked on my door in Los Angeles.  He had spent weeks trying to find me, so he could tell me how important I was to John!”  Lorraine recalled. “The adjustor told me that John had worked very hard for the rest of his days so he could give me everything he had when he passed away. His entire estate was $1,500.”

“It was 1943.” Lorraine said.  “I remember thinking, why didn’t I have anybody?  When momma and daddy died in the car accident, I should have died too!”

Lorraine Broderick was talking about how we all look foolish at one time or another and that one afternoon can have the power to change a life, forever.  This was one such time for her.  It was one of those days when she was feeling alone and, well, blind because for some reason she had forgotten about John Smith and their afternoon together!  

It was an afternoon when two people’s lives were forever changed.  Two were rescued.

It was an important afternoon!

“We started in one direction and as we moved forward we began to see another, more exciting opportunity!” - Simon Dunlop

Artificial Intelligence

Simon looked a little bleary-eyed.  He had flown forty-five hundred miles.  I recognized that jetlagged look.  I’ve seen it in the mirror many times over the years.  Yet, there was also another look visible in Simon’s otherwise twinkling eyes.  Those same eyes are a portal to a distinctive view of intuitive human intelligence.

Simon’s company, Instreamatic, is a Google-backed Artificial Intelligence (AI) company that helps brands, such as Google, listen to and understand consumer needs through advertising engagement.  They started their venture by building an extensive audio advertising network with an interactive voice AI component. Since then, they’ve gone on to build a powerful AI platform that understands unstructured and free-form user responses. It’s become the core of a new kind of intelligence tool.

New tool; combined with human intuition! 

While meeting with Simon on Wednesday, last, the enduring impression I kept having was his own humanistic tools.  I continually recognized his specific intuitive intelligence.  It caused me to have a little private chuckle as our conversation brought to mind a marquee sign, at a local church, once announcing “Not all of life’s answers can be found on Google.”  The story of Simon and his company provides plausible additional meaning to this statement and offers continued introspection for all to consider.

“Simon,” I said.  “What makes your company really stand out to me was something you said when we last talked.  Didn’t you tell me you started out building your intelligence product to be able to push specific products to people through voice interaction?  But, along the way you discovered something unexpected and much more meaningful?”

“Yes.”  He answered. “We started in one direction and as we moved forward we began to see another, more exciting opportunity!”

“That’s it!  I think you also said, along the way forward you were able to discover something that Google couldn’t see or anticipate?”

“Yes.”  He responded again.  “This put us in an interesting position because they’re one of our principal investors and we wanted to be sure we were providing them with the value they were looking for.  At the same time, we discovered something we believed would benefit them and our other investors much more than predicted.”

“I would characterize your discovery, use of your technology, as an opportunity to move forward from “market push” to “market-pull,” because it allows you to find what loyal customers have in common, what unhappy customers have in common and how this changes trends over time. Is that right?”

“I would say it allows us to quickly see commonalities, so our customers can provide people what they’re looking for.  This is different than working to sell their customers something they don’t really want or need.”  Simon concurred.

“Not all of life’s answers can be found on Google.”  I snickered internally again, as I looked across our shared table into the eyes of one exhibiting intuitive human intelligence.  Simon Dunlop’s eyes.

Simon looked a little bleary-eyed.  After all, he had just flown forty-five hundred miles.  I recognized that jetlagged look.  I’ve seen it in the mirror many times over the years.  Yet, there was also another look visible in Simon’s otherwise twinkling eyes.  Those same eyes are a portal to a distinctive view of the significance of intuitive human intelligence.

The kind of artificial intelligence that expresses unique, human value.

“Find something that will allow you to spend individual time with them.” – Judy Jacks

Impact

“It’s your biggest opportunity to make a positive impact on the world.”  Judy Jacks said.

Then she went on to handover some of her best strategies, best research, best tactics for making the largest impact possible as she stood in my office.  She had been invited to come.  But, not for this reason.

Judy isn’t a world-renowned expert in personal or business relations.  She isn’t a famous strategist.  She isn’t even a personal coach.  She’s a great grandmother.

A continuing desire to be a great, very good, grandmother and grandfather was reason enough for Judy and Jerry Jacks to recently change their entire life by moving across the United States to another state and community.  They did so because all of their children were grown and had left the state in which they had lived for more than forty years.

“I was spending a lot of time talking with my grand and great grandchildren through video calls.  It was wonderful, but it wasn’t enough! In order to make an impact you have to find something that will allow you to spend personal, individual time with them in the flesh!”

She went on to say that it’s the only way to have the biggest impact possible.

“It isn’t enough to have them run up to greet you and then have them run off to play.  You need to have one-on-one interaction and explore what they’re doing now, as well as their hopes and dreams.”  Then she unveiled, what I call, Judy’s Four Steps for Impact.

Provide.  It is essential to understand each child’s strengths and weaknesses.  Then you need to provide them with everything they need to feel secure in their abilities.

Teach.  Personal security only comes and grows one day at a time.  As your loved-one faces challenges there will be times when they no longer feel secure.  Teaching them to expect this is essential.  Then you need to be there with them with continued teaching.  Show them they can depend on you, always.

Spend Time.  Even though you can’t be there with them all of the time, you can be there for them on a regular basis.  Having a set tradition helps with this.  Judy likes to have small traditions, such as “Perfect Pizza Night.”  That’s a time when she has a grandchild, who loves to cook, join her in the kitchen every first Sunday each month.  On this day, they craft home-made pizzas.  Most of all, they talk.  She supports.  She listens.  She teaches.  She loves.

Allow them to face “teaching” hardships.  Hardships can be life’s greatest teaching moments.  But, only if you allow people the opportunity to struggle.  Be there for them.  Let them know you love them.  Show them you have faith in their ability to overcome.  Starting on this path at their earliest age is like letting them build, one block at a time.  Soon they’ll have created a fortress of personal strength and character.

“It’s your biggest opportunity to make a positive impact on the world.”  Judy Jacks said.

Then she went on to handover some of her best strategies, best research, best tactics for making the largest impact possible as she stood in my office.  She had been invited to come.  But, not for this reason.

No.  She had come to make an impact!

Blind Resolve

“Life is not about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.” – Lolly Daskal

Blind Resolve

“It’s interesting that you used the word quit.”  Steve said.

That’s because Steve Maranville has heard that word for more than sixty years.

“My forty-fifth-year high school class reunion is coming up soon.”  Steve continued.  “I’ve been in contact with a few of my classmates over the years, but not very many of them.”

So, he decided to begin to reach out to more classmates so he could discover what his peers had been up to over these many years.  It would allow him to enjoy a reunion with more depth centered on personal connection.  What he didn’t anticipate was an illumination.  An enlightenment concerning the difference between living with goals compared to living with resolution.

“One of my Classmates said something interesting to me.”  Steve elaborated.  “He said, ‘if anyone had a reason to quit it was you!’”

While attending high school Steve was legally blind.  But, he still had some vision in his eyes as well as a vision of who he could become, something the eyes of others couldn’t see, inside himself.  He also had something to prove to the world.  There was something, a feeling, deep in his core, his very soul, that propelled him toward proving himself to everyone, most importantly to himself.

“My Classmate’s comment about having a reason to quit brought a key distinction to my mind.”  Steve explained.  “There is a difference between living a goal focused life and living with resolve!”

Steve was once a professor in a prestigious university business school.  Now he’s a highly regarded and sought-after advisor to entrepreneurs seeking to build “unicorn” companies.  And, he is foremost and will always be a master teacher.

“Everyone will face moments in life when they want to quit.”  He imparted. “That’s the moment when a person has an internal confrontation.  They have a choice at that very moment.  Do I have a goal or do I have resolve?”

Here’s a brief description of what Steve calls “Blind Resolve.” 

A goal is just something out there on the horizon.  It hasn’t occurred yet.  It’s something you may accomplish in the future.  “I call that living with hope!”  Steve explains.

A resolution is very different! “I call it living in real-time, faith, knowing, right now, that you've already done it, become transformed.  It is an immediate change. It is a made decision!”

Living with resolve is the definition of living fully in faith.  It is Blind Resolve.

Blind Resolve means being blind to all of the hurdles and reasons you can’t or won’t become the person you dream of becoming.  You only see that you’re already that person.  It’s who you are now, in this moment.  The option of quitting has passed.

“It’s interesting that you used the word quit.”  Steve said as we talked about events and circumstances that had become the stimulus of immense personal transformation that had occurred in our lives over the past year.  The statement was Steve’s precursor; an introduction to a master teacher’s lesson about the distinction between living in hope and living in faith.

The difference is Blind Resolve.

An Improved Hunt for Joy

“He said, ‘We need just need two more ducks to reach our limit.’” – Boyd Billingsley

An Improved Hunt for Joy

“I was duck hunting with my son-in-law.  We’d been sitting in the blind for at least a couple of hours when he turned to me, toward late morning, and said, ‘We need just need two more ducks to reach our limit.’ I responded with, okay, that’s good.”

Then, the two men sat for a few more moments in a silence that spread over a minute or so. Soon it became clear that there was something else on the mind of Boyd’s companion.

Said he, “Boyd, we’ve been here all morning and you haven’t even picked up your gun!”

Boyd responded with, “Oh! I hadn’t noticed!”

Perhaps the two were on the adventure with different purposes?  Boyd’s son-in-law was there to hunt.  Boyd was there to savor the golden view.

Boyd says, “I don’t think I ever understood what people meant by the phrase, ‘The Golden Years,’ until now.”

The experiences of life have naturally allowed Boyd to develop improved sight while in his golden years. Here’s how he described his purposed, glitter-viewing duck hunting adventure with his son-in-law:

“When my son-in-law said I that hadn’t picked up my gun the whole time we’d been in the duck blind, it struck me that it hadn’t even dawned on me to do so!  I was there to enjoy the beauty of the place as well as be him. The duck hunting was really just an opportunity for me to show love for him and relish in gratitude for the surrounding beauty of the place.”

Boyd’s place in life is now well past the middle of his seventieth decade. There was a time when he couldn’t imagine an end to his living.  And, while he’s always enjoyed people, a sense of community and his surroundings, his acquisition of an improved, golden view has enhanced his living in virtually every moment of every day.

“Having a golden view means allowing myself to pay attention to the important people in my life and genuinely enjoying every precious moment!”  Boyd clarifies to anyone who asks exactly what living with a golden view means.

“I enjoyed everything when I was younger. But, not enough!”  Boyd said with a twinkle in his eye, right before saying, “I was duck hunting with my son-in-law.  We’d been sitting in the blind for at least a couple of hours when he turned to me, toward late morning, and said, ‘We need just need two more ducks to reach our limit.’  I responded with, okay, that’s good.”

That was good indeed.  But, living with a golden-view-perspective; that everyone can enjoy an improved hunt for joy in life by remembering that there will come a time when each person will reach their own personal limit, is what will make life glitter. That’s when every precious moment of living will be genuinely enhanced with joy.

Mournful Mooing

Being Eighty-Fived?

Mournful Mooing

“Why in the world are you just standing there?”  I asked the huge Angus Steer, Eighty-Five.  “That mournful mooing isn’t doing you any good at all!”

Of course, I already knew why he was acting this way.  It was separation time.  The Dexter breed were standing across the fence from him eating.  He was standing next to the bull feeder, where he is normally fed.  He’d watched as I threw hay over the fence to the reddish-brown clan of cows he usually shared food with.  But, if Eighty-Five is one thing, he is stubborn.

After feeding the Dexters, with the Angus looking-on, I loaded up the wheelbarrow with more hay and walked right toward the bull feeder and the Three-Big-Boys, so they’d see their food and follow me to the paddock.  I walked slowly, using an encouraging, “come-on, follow me” speech.  The sound of heavy, lugging footsteps fell in behind me, so I didn’t bother to look back until I reached the paddock and ejected the carried-dinner for the lumbering, hungry steers.  But, only two had come.

“That’s odd!”  I exclaimed, as if speaking to an unseen friend.

With wheelbarrow in hand and the missing steer in sight I left the paddock and walked forward toward him.  His feet were planted firmly in the ground.  His eyes were focused, gazing, coveting the forage being eaten by his adopted bovine clan.  Saliva was streaming from all corners of his mouth and it dripped toward the ground as he verbalized his displeasure of self-professed injustice.

“You realize all you need to do is to turn a little to your right and walk?  Right?”  I chided with a chuckle.  “Your behavior is pathetic!  Your decision to just stand here, looking over that fence, while complaining in full bellyache tone doesn’t accomplish anything.  When you decide to take even one step toward earning what you want, your situation will change completely!”

Then, I took a step forward, away from him, to leave, while continuing to hear his self-pronouncing song of injustice.  For one brief moment a thought of intervention entered my mind, because of his repeated call.  I paused.

“He’ll figure it out!”  I huffed, while walking on.

He stood.  I left.

I left again in the morning.  This time from my home. The cool wet grass was soft under foot as I walked through the field, past the food-anticipating Dexter, toward the bull feeder where Eighty-Five had been standing the night before.  A smile spread across my face when he wasn’t there.

“Why in the world are you just standing there?”  I had asked the huge Angus Steer, Eighty-Five, the night before.  “That mournful mooing isn’t doing you any good at all!”

Of course, I already knew why he was acting this way.  It was separation time.  The Dexter breed were standing across the fence from him, eating.  He was standing next to the bull feeder, where he is normally fed.  He’d watched as I threw hay over the fence to the reddish-brown clan of cows.  But, if Eighty-Five is one thing, he is stubborn.

“I can be just as stubborn as he had been at times!”  I said to myself as I filled the wheelbarrow with hay for the Three-Big-Boys standing, waiting for me in the paddock.  “I just hope I can always be smart enough not to Eighty-Five myself in the future!”  

Now, or in our future, there will likely be a time when our eyes, yours or mine, are focused, gazing, coveting the things or accomplishments of our neighbor. Yes, we may even have saliva, born of personal desire, streaming from all corners of our mouth as we verbalize our displeasure of self-proclaimed injustice in mournful manner.  But, we should never Eighty-Five ourselves!  

After all, one hulking steer has shown us that we simply need to turn to our right, or left, and walk, forward to our desired accomplishment or destination and work.  When you and I decide to take even one step toward earning what we want, we change our present situation completely!

The Experts Say

“The minute you begin to believe you’re an expert, is the minute you get knocked down!” 

– Bruce Dunning

The Experts Say

It was early in the morning.  I was doing yoga; stretching as part of my daily “get ready” routine while also listening to another “expert” telling the world that more bad was going to happen.  At this time, on this show, he seemed to be making a lot of sense.  I began to slow down and deepen my stretches so I could listen more attentively.  I listened until the show ended and I finished my yoga, then I moved on to the rest of the day in front of me.

As the day progressed, the words of the expert continued to tickle my ears.  I had made a mental note of the title of his latest book and when I needed a small mental diversion, my fingers tapped lightly on my computer’s keypad so I could peruse my favorite on-line book distributor’s reviews.

The reviews were plentiful and enlightening.  This was neither his first book, nor was it his first round of prognostication.  His readers said it all.  “Great expectations, poor track record!”  “Loved the book and some of what he predicted came to pass.”  I decided to take a pass myself.  I didn’t order the book.

“There is a certain order to the world.”  Bruce Dunning was saying to me.  Bruce is, perhaps, the best negotiator I have ever met or worked with.  He was coaching, and working with me to finish the last of my class work so I could complete the requirements for a designation known as “Master Certified Negotiation Expert.”  (Ha!  Another expert born!) Then he followed that statement up with, “The minute you begin to believe you’re an expert, is the minute you get knocked down!”

My mind raced back to the book writer, the “expert on the world’s economy and future.”  He was right and he was wrong.  Just like you and me!  No one is always right, even if they are designated as an expert.  Sue reminds me of that on a regular basis, especially when I get all riled up about what “the experts” are saying.

She says, “I prefer to have a more positive view of the world!”

So, when you and I are worried about what the experts are saying all around us, perhaps we could remember what Thomas Jefferson said? “Trust the people.  The people will get it right!”

That doesn’t mean there won’t be mistakes.  It doesn’t mean things will go smoothly and not get messy.  Could it mean that you and I, regular people, will do some things right and then feel real good about ourselves until the universe reminds us of how small we really are?

Yes.  We’re small. One small piece of something magnificent!

This one small piece drove home on another day last week.  It had been a particularly long and difficult day until I turned into my driveway.  At that moment, the beauty of the green grass, combined with the sky, and was punctuated by sublime mountain peaks!  It all took my breath away!

Since I had little breath, I whispered to myself, “No matter what the experts say, this world is one beautiful place and I’m glad to be just one small part of it for one small amount of time!”

Yet, Here You Are

Thirty extra years of walking

Yet, Here You Are

She was younger than I.  She was smarter too; well, she’s an expert in the treatment of Osteoarthritis.   That was why I was there.  I needed her help.  So I expected to sit and listen to what she was telling me.  I didn’t expect her to say something that would cause my mind to churn and reflect again and again.

“Thirty years ago my orthopedic surgeon told me that if I didn’t stop running I wouldn’t be able to walk by the time I was thirty.”  I told her as she gathered background as part of my examination.

“Yet, her you are!” She replied with bright eyes and a smile.

I stopped and contemplated what she said!  Her words shifted my thoughts from a focus on pain and difficulty to something else.  It wasn’t an instant change for sure.  It was more akin to looking to the eastern sky as the sun starts its ascent.

First, there’s a brightening, a glow rising from a persistent darkness.  Then, a golden semicircle begins to act as the mountain’s halo.  Finally, in a seemingly, almost instant, it explodes into a full shining saucer.  That’s it!

My mind was fully encircled by a peaceful sense of gratitude.  Just because one person pointed out what should have been the obvious to me, I was able to see how lucky I was.  I came in with the belief that I was really struggling.  I left with the knowledge of how grateful I am to still be able to walk.  Now, here is the talk with the walk.

Every one of us will be overwhelmed with feelings of struggle many times during our lives.  The struggles may be mental, physical or financial.  And, we may go to an expert or trusted advisor to give us help or advice along the way.  Even the wise may tell us there is little or no hope on the horizon.  It may even be true.

But, it may not be true.  A lot of what will happen in the future will depend on our attitude, our point of view.  How many people do you know have beaten the odds?  Why shouldn’t you be one of them?  Think about it. 

Think about the simple things you have to be grateful for.  First, there’s a brightening, a glow rising from a persistent darkness.  Then, a golden semicircle begins to act as the mountain’s halo.  Finally, in a seemingly, almost instant, your gratitude will explode into a full shining saucer of joy.

Yes, here I am, still walking!

Life as a Ghost

The “Talker”

Life as a Ghost

There were two people just ahead.  They were talking.  Well, one of them was talking.  The other was patiently listening.  I knew one of the two, the listener.  I had never seen the talker before.

As I passed the two, the talker had his back to me.  The listener, someone I knew well, caught my eye.  During that brief moment I heard the talker telling her how much he had accomplished, how great he was, and what he was going to do.  I looked at my listening friend and lifted my right arm as I opened and closed my hand in a blab, blab, and blab motion.

I talk with my hands a lot.  At least that’s what someone once told me.  Perhaps this proved it?

More importantly, my hand talking caused me to reflect on this incident again and again.  At first I reprimanded myself, “That wasn’t nice!”  Then, I asked, “Why did you choose to respond in that way?”  Finally, I realized I had been going through a process of discovering something of significance, the principle of doing.

We live in a society where the principle of doing as been largely lost.  There are people who are famous for just being famous.  They haven’t added any real value to themselves or their fans.  They’ve done nothing to improve the human condition.  They haven’t served anyone and they haven’t sought a greater purpose.  In reality, they are not great and have not achieved greatness.

True greatness comes from humble beginnings.  It comes from those that follow the path of “be lesser, do more.”  That’s the lesson I learned from the talker on that day.

It was the beginning of my own awakening.  The awakening of understanding that while most simply want to take credit, true success, growth and joy comes only from doing.  This arousal toward reality has caused me to ask myself these three questions.  I wish I could tell you I ask them everyday, but I don’t.  You will most likely do better than I do at that.

What can I do for everyone I meet today?

What can I do that nobody else wants to do?

How can I produce more than anyone else and give the credit away?

Asking these questions on a regular basis has allowed me to begin to change in many ways.  You may be asking yourself, “Will it kill me to let others have all the credit?”

I can assure you it won’t!  You can start at any time.  It doesn’t matter your age or situation.  Let it become natural and permanent to your character.  If you pick this mantle up once you’ll see that the person who clears the path is the one who benefits from it.  Will you benefit from living life as a ghost?